The Forsaken Love of a Lord (11 page)

A humorless laugh escaped his lips.

Of course, all this was simply the musings of madness. Who was to say that she even would want to see him after what had happened? True, she had smiled, but how much did that signify? She hadn’t tried to stop him when he left.

Edward stood and paced around his room. He needed to get out, to breathe.

Slipping on his robe, he went down the stairs and into his study to lose himself in a snifter of brandy. Cursing his weakness he, reached the door and let himself in, thankful for the light of a low-burning fire in the grate. The smoldering light matched his mood. He made a direct route to the liquor cabinet and poured himself a large serving of the amber liquid. Lifting it to his lips, he inhaled the sweet poignant scent of it, then lowered it.

Alcohol only made memories stronger.

And right now all he wanted to do was forget anything, forget everything.

Yet that seemed to be his curse: he was unable to forget.

With a curse, he threw the crystal glass into the fire, causing a roaring flame to illuminate the study with a powerful glow before dying down and crackling.

“Couldn’t sleep either?” Curtis’ dark voice drew his attention from the flames and to the far corner of the study, where his friend sat and watched him. He was still in his evening kit, though his cravat was no longer tied and his jacket had long been removed, judging by the skewed and wrinkled quality of his white shirt.

“Apparently its an epidemic tonight,” Edward answered after a moment.

“Indeed.”

Edward watched his friend for a moment, studying him.

“I’m not going to attack you, though the thought did have some merit.” Curtis shrugged and leaned back into the leather chair.

“It’s not to say I don’t deserve it,” Edward responded quietly.

“Hell yes, you do.” Curtis shook his head, snorting in derision. “But I was out of line as well. For that I owe you an apology.”

“Pardon?”

“I’ll not repeat myself,” Curtis snapped.

“At which point were you out of line, Curtis? When you were saving an innocent from a gentleman she didn’t know stealing her kiss? Or was it when you revealed my identity when I was trying to remain hidden for my own benefit? Though, I must defend myself and say that I was going to tell her. Regardless, that doesn’t justify my actions! You had every right to save her from me, and truthfully, save me from myself. But at this point, I fear there’s not much worth saving.” Edward sighed heavily and took a seat next to his friend, who was watching him with a narrowed expression.

“Bloody hell, you’re such an — idiot. You really think that my intentions were so honorable?” He snorted. “I wanted her for myself, you nodcock! I’d love to sit here and pretend I was honorable, but the truth is, I’m no better than you. She told me as much as well,” Curtis confessed, his tone bitter yet accepting.

“Pardon?”

“What, did you suddenly lose your hearing?” Curtis stood and walked about in an agitated manner.

“Er, no. I’m simply surprised that she would say—“

“Oh, she gave me quite a tongue-lashing. Here I was, trying to come to her rescue, and instead, she comes to yours. When I think of all the time I spent with her,
falling
for her, and all I had done was delude myself into thinking that she’d want me, not you. That, my friend, is where I was wrong. And my bloody pride got in the way. I see that now.”

“That’s where your mistaken. I’m a mystery. She doesn’t
want
me— She simply wants to
know
about me. It’s quite different. And after tonight, I’m quite sure that she’ll not be interested,” Edward replied, then, before he could stop the words from being spoken, he continued. “Regardless of your own agenda, you did save her from me. And it’s apparent she holds some fondness of you. I’m sure if you nurture—“

“Damn it, Langley. You’re losing your hearing, and you’re going blind — that is the only excuse I can think of. Did you somehow miss her beautiful smile the moment I said your name? Or maybe you missed the fact that she utterly forgot my presence as soon as she removed your mask, which I must say, was innocently erotic? I had to glance away!” He looked heavenward as if searching for patience then he turned to face Edward. “And if you don’t wipe that confused look from your face, and if you dare say
pardon
once more, I will lay you flat with my fist, am I clear?” Curtis growled.

“Understood—“

“I just have one question.” Curtis interrupted.

“Yes?” Edward answered.

Curtis pinched the bridge of his nose. “Do you love her?”

“Do I love her?”

“Yes. Did you kiss her tonight to humiliate her, to provoke some sick sort of revenge because of her whore of a sister, or did you kiss her because you finally realized she was everything I said, everything I saw and had fallen for myself?” Curtis asked, his tone no longer angry; rather, it was tired, weary.

“She is everything you said, Curtis, and more. She is kind. I know that doesn’t seem like much, but kindness is utterly unappreciated. Few people are truly kind. Honesty pours from her, along with a guileless nature that can’t be imitated. Her character, her wit I’ve learned through the conversations we’ve had concerning her, but when I spoke with her, danced with her, it was as if it all fit together, creating the most alluring, beautiful creature ever fashioned, and I was powerless to stop myself from taking every moment I could. So, to answer your question, it wasn’t for revenge that I kissed her. It was for… hope. Because for the first time since Marybelle’s death, I discovered something more powerful than my own bitterness and regret.” Edward watched his friend, met his gaze, hoping his friend could read the sincerity of his words in his expression.

“Damn it all, that’s what I was afraid of,” Curtis swore and ran his fingers through his hair. “Well… what a fine mess we’ve made of this. What are we going to do?”

“To do?”

“Yes, you’re not going to just give up, are you? I bloody well thought better of you than that.” Curtis threw up his hands in exasperation. “You can just walk away!”

Edward chuckled darkly and without humor. “Just what exactly do you think I should do? Approach her father and ask for permission to court his
other
daughter? Or perhaps I should ask her to dance at the next ball?
That
wouldn’t cause a stir.” Edward spoke sarcastically.

“You do have a point.”

Edward arched an eyebrow at his friend.

Curtis narrowed his eyes and began to pace. His frame moved before the fire, casting a shadow about the room as he walked. Edward crossed over to his desk and stood behind his chair. He gripped the wood on the back of the seat as his fingers flexed.

“What if…” Edward began, unsure of how to proceed. A plan was just beginning to take form. It was utterly foolish, a hair-brained scheme that would usually only take form in his nightmares. Yet he found himself willing to risk it, for if it worked, the reward would be indeed priceless.

That was, of course, assuming that Curtis was correct about Olivia’s regard for him.

A minor detail that had the ability to either make his plan an epic failure or success.

But the rub was that for it to work, he had to take the risk blindly, not knowing if she, indeed, did return his affection.

Bloody miserable risky love.

Could he do it?

Was it worth it?

“Edward? You didn’t finish your sentence. And among my many splendid talents, mindreading isn’t one of them,” Curtis drolled, his tone wry.

“What if…”

“You’ve said that already.”

“I’m aware. But what if I remove the obstacles?”

“Obstacles? As in the agreement?” Curtis’ brow furrowed deeply. “The agreement between yourself and Marybelle’s parents? Rather Olivia’s parents?”

Edward took a deep breath, then nodded.

“That would work as far as allowing you the freedom in your pursuit of Olivia… but, I must ask, do you realize what such an… action would require?” Curtis asked slowly, his gaze severe.

Edward glanced down to his hands, still gripping the top of the chair. His knuckles were white, his tendons tight under his flesh. “Indeed.”

“Then… I think you should do it,” Curtis responded.

Edward’s gaze shot up to meet his friend’s. “You do?”

“Yes. Honestly, it’s the only course of action I believe you have.”

“Don’t I know, damn it all.”

“It’s quite a risk.” Curtis spoke after a moment.

“I know,” Edward whispered. His hands were aching from his tight grip.

“But I think the reward is worth it.”

“It is,” Edward answered immediately. “Though why she’d ever find anything redeeming in me is a mystery. You of all people know my forsaken past.”

“Ah, yes.
The Forsaken Lord
. I quite forgot about your self-inflicted nickname.” Curtis shook his head. “The only one who betrayed you is no longer here to torment us mortals. And bitterness is a cold bed partner, my friend. It’s good to move on, to leave the past as dead and cold as Marybelle’s heart. Though I must say, God has a sense of humor to have the redeemer of your wretched heart in the form of Marybelle’s sister. That’s irony for you.” Curtis chuckled.

“To say the least.”

“Though, when you consider it, it is quite perfect. The one that hurt you is sister to the one who will heal. Poetic.”

“It’s bloody petrifying.”

“I’m sure it is, but isn’t that the glory of love? How many wars have been fought over a woman? How many men have given their lives freely for the sake of love? Is it not what compels us? What takes our mere humanity and transforms it into a supernatural determination to exceed our own limits?” Curtis strode over to him and patted him on the back. “Edward, it’s time to let go.”

Edward met his friend’s gaze and watched as he lowered it till it fell on his vice-grip on the chair back.

“Let go, Edward.”

With a heavy sigh, Edward released his aching fingers. Stiff from exertion, he clenched his fist and released it, working out the tension.

“Let it go and hold onto something far more wonderful than your hatred. Hold on to love.”

Edward chuckled without any joy. “Or at least the hope of it. Eh, my friend?”

Curtis shook his head and chuckled. “Indeed. Now, since we’re not going to have pistols at dawn over the girl, I think I’ll try to get some sleep. You should too. You have a lot to do in the morning, and you, my friend, look like hell.”

“Why thank you.” Edward ran his fingers through his hair, already dreading the dawn and the implications it would hold when he carried through with his plan.

“Night, old man.” Curtis slapped his back once and strode to the door.

“Curtis?” Edward called out.

“Yes?” Curtis paused with his hand on the doorknob and turned to face his friend.

“Thank you.”

“Ah, I’ll be sure to collect on the favor in the future.” Curtis chuckled and left.

“I have no doubt about that.” Edward shook his head, a smile bending his lips.

Olivia had waited, not so patiently, for the at-home hours to end so she could finally have a moment alone with Maria.

“We’re going to for a stroll, Mama,” Olivia called to her mother, not waiting for a response but pulling her friend — her friend who had been waiting just as impatiently as she — out the salon door and into the foyer.

Olivia’s maid was waiting, and they immediately left the Pierce residence to take the air at Hyde Park. The day was beautiful, bright and clear with even a light breeze that seemed to erase the heavy stench that clung to London’s streets.

“Are we far enough away yet?” Maria whispered to her friend.

“No, not quite,” Olivia responded, moving her lips as little as possible.

Maria sighed and picked up her pace.

Olivia matched her stride and couldn’t help the giggle that escaped. But why shouldn’t she laugh? Why shouldn’t she be utterly joyful? Last night had been a dream; only she hadn’t had to wake from it! Granted, it could have ended better, but who’s to say that last night was the end? Surely, Lord Langley will— She actually wasn’t sure
what
he’d do, but he was bound to do something. After a gentleman kisses a lady like
that,
surely there would be more!

“You’re grinning like a fool! Can you please tell me now? Please? It’s killing me!” Maria whispered desperately.

Olivia glanced around and, seeing no one, save the maid, in close proximity, led her friend to one of the benches on the outskirts of the park. Careful to make sure her maid was not within hearing distance, she sat beside her friend and began to tell the events of the night before.

To say Maria was surprised was an understatement.

“I just — you mean to say— No — I don’t believe it— Wait. Are you sure?” Her friend’s eyes were as large as she asked, disbelief evident in her tone.

“Yes.” Olivia couldn’t help her wide smile.

“That is utterly romantic — and completely forbidden! Do you know what would happen if people found out? You’d be the news of the century! It would be the most on-dit ever!” Her eyes were wide with delight and awe then they narrowed slightly. “Drat you! I now have the most delicious gossip, and I cannot share it with a soul!”