The Frankenstein Candidate (11 page)

On the morning of January 11, 2020, the results from Iowa began pouring in.

At first, Ganon was in the lead, but only marginally. Larry calmed Colin down.

“Those precincts they counted…they were always Ganon’s,” he said.

By late morning, Spain had caught up, but it was still neck and neck.

“West Iowa,” Larry said. “Wait for the west. They are all yours.”

He offered to go out for lunch, but Colin could not move. Everything depended on this. Larry and Katrina went out and agreed to bring a sandwich back for him.

CNN called just as they left. It was Dawn Massey, one of their main political correspondents.

“Hello, Mr. Spain.”

“Hello. We are still on at three?”

“No, that’s what I am calling about. We have to reschedule.”

“You think I am going to lose?” Colin asked. He got a sinking feeling. He turned the TV off.

“No, we think you will be winning Iowa,” she said.

“Then why?”

“I can’t explain, sir. Just need to—”

“Need to what? Get me Harper.”

Harper was the head of programming.

“Harper is the one who told me,” Dawn said.

“Then why can’t he call me himself? Get me Harper!”

“He is in a meeting right now, but I will tell him.”

Colin banged the phone down, then called Larry on his cell.

“Fuckin’ CNN. They cancelled. What’s going on?”

“Did you see the latest?” Larry replied.

“No, what?”

“You are winning. By a lot. West Iowa just started streaming in.”

By afternoon, it was clear that Spain was at least a ten-point winner over Ganon. Rogers was a distant third. It wasn’t even close.

Colin Spain should have been thrilled, but it was more than mildly upsetting to him that CNN had indefinitely postponed his interview.

Katrina tried to explain after lunch. “A number of switchboards around the country have been inundated with callers. A number of media outlets decided to conduct their own
vox populi
.”

“About what?”

“Stein. This first commandment thing—”

“Dammit, damn that Stein. Stein? For God’s sake, I am going to be the next president of the United States, and they want to interview him instead? I want a list of all the editors and the programming heads who want to talk to this lunatic ahead of me. They will pay.”

Katrina was carrying his sandwich in a bag. She gave it to him. He threw it out the window.

It didn’t matter to Spain that the media was critical of Frank Stein or that his ideas offered them just the sensationalism they wanted.

Presented with a multiple choice survey, over 95 percent of respondents indicated that government should have some moderating role in the economy rather than “none” or “complete control.” That, according to several journalists, was evidence of “
what the people wanted
.” Clearly, if Stein wanted to deliver something other than that, it was undemocratic and not reflective of representative government.

They were clearly unprepared for the onslaught. Stein went on to lecture the media on Keynesianism. He called it seven decades of intellectual masturbation based on two false premises, firstly the premise that economies left to themselves must go through booms and recessions, and secondly, that government policy can correct them. Most of them did not understand him. But they loved it because scandals were a good read, and it was the job of a good journalist to create scandal where there was none. That was the gold standard of journalism in 2019. Even those who were uncomfortable with that standard were delighted with Stein. The “seven decades of intellectual masturbation” comment was not just leveled at the Federal Reserve but at every hallowed school of economics in the country, from Princeton to Harvard, from the OECD to the London School of Economics. The reaction was appropriately severe. Even his old chums at Wall Street condemned him.

For the media, the beauty was that the guy had billions, and he was willing to spend his fortune on a personal crusade, which meant his candidacy was not going to die for lack of funding. It didn’t matter what the polls said, this lunatic was going all the way to November 3.

Colin Spain hated it. He imagined that he would be the darling of the media after Iowa. He was, after all, the front-runner of the opposition when the government was crippled by a failing economy, a falling U.S. dollar, and enormous unrest. He needed to vent. He called Larry.

“Your time will come,” a sanguine Larry said. “Ultimately it will just come down to you and Kirby. Don’t underestimate Kirby. Kirby is not kooky. Kooky is good for the media.

“But when the race gets serious,” he continued, “the media will need to focus on the only two electable candidates who are left in the race and that, I am certain, will be Kirby and you. There would be the debates in the fall, and that’s when Stein will be forgotten unless the public fancy ends even earlier.

“Even so, there is a sobering lesson to be learned from the media’s latest obsession,” Larry said. “Stein is something new, something fresh. Extremist no doubt, but novel.”

What did Spain have that was new and fresh?

Watching the news coverage of Stein, Colin had caught himself thinking again about Katrina’s idea—what if they announced a vice presidential running mate as early as the start of fall? It was so out of the ordinary that the media would focus on him when, and perhaps even before, the Stein novelty ran out.

“You know the Olivia matter that I raised with you?” Colin asked.

“Yes. Olivia Allen, what a great idea. You need to check with her, of course. What’s her grasp of the nuances of foreign policy like?” Larry asked.

“Excellent.”

“Of financial matters?”

“Not bad. She is, as you know, very bright. And very hard working.”

“This means if she knew early enough, she could work on her deficiencies. By the time we announce her to the world, she would take apart any opponent, unlike when they used Palin in 2008, unlike when we used newcomer McDowell in 2016.”

“Should I ask her?” Colin said.

“First, let’s have her background checked out. Marijuana in college, affairs, everything.”

“I have checked her out. She is clean. Her voting record is consistent.”

“Pretty, wholesome, American mom, financially astute, clever, and a public service family…great package, like mixing the best of Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton in a witch’s brew.”

Colin agreed, excited about the ace up his sleeve.

Olivia was delighted to be back at home after a short but grueling tour. After a brief Sunday out with Gary and the children, she was off again into her political world, now even busier with the campaign.

She had lined up a string of high-profile meetings with corporate chiefs and their nominated representatives. Of all the ills that had befallen America, it was the shortage of jobs that hurt her the most. She wanted to understand what the government could do that would raise employment. Her visitors knew that she chaired the House Employment Committee, formed to look at the prospects of the long-term jobless.

She listened very carefully to the proposals put to her rather than admonishing the chiefs for not employing local Americans. The proposals required sacrifices: abolition of newly created payroll taxes, the introduction of new federal income tax incentives, direct cash subsidies or protection from imports. The problem was manageable, Olivia thought, but it needed a whole new way of thinking. This was one problem she badly wanted to fix. It was never easy. The Senate was an oversight body, not a legislative one. Still, she had an extensive network in Congress. She was even liked by many in the Republican administration. Senate committees could, after all, make recommendations publicly—that’s what the committees were there for.

There was no shortage of issues before the Senate. Besides being the chair of the Employment Committee, she was on the Banking Reform Committee, and her services were being requisitioned by a newly formed Education Committee. Not surprisingly, Colin Spain had requested that she refrain from joining the new Education Committee.

Then he dropped the bombshell. She could hardly believe her ears.

“Are you interested in running for vice president?”

“I’m not sure I understand the relevance. Perhaps, one day—”

“What if the opportunity was here now?”

“Shouldn’t we concentrate on 2020 rather than the hypothetical?”

“I’m speaking about 2020.”

“The nomination would be in May. You have only just won Iowa—”

“We need media attention on us now.”

“Are you serious?”

“Absolutely.”

“It’s never been done before.”

“Precisely.”

“Could this be regarded as just a media gimmick?”

“Not at all. Larry and I have been giving this much thought over the past few days.”

“What are you suggesting?”

“That you consider joining the campaign as my running mate right now. We will make an announcement within the next week or so.”

“But…even if Ganon and Rogers are not joined by anyone else…and it does look like that now, surely the party elders would expect you to pick one of them…assuming of course you win.”

“I have heard from sources…many, in fact…that they have done a deal. If either of them wins, the other gets to be a running mate. So you won’t get a chance—”

“I wasn’t thinking of me. I never even thought I would be involved in the campaign strategy until you invited me.”

“Will you consider it?”

“Why wouldn’t you pick one of them? Whatever deal they may have done between themselves doesn’t bind you.”

“True. But Larry thinks they may announce their deal soon. That would be unprecedented given that everyone always keeps their options at least officially open till D-Day.”

“So you want a gimmick?’

“No, I want you for real. All the way. Look, I really believe Ganon is a liability. He wants to nationalize the banks and the energy companies and all of Big Oil and the mining companies. Rogers, well…you know how he thinks.”

“No, actually, I don’t know Rogers well enough.”

“He wants to appease the environmental lobby. Impose carbon taxes—”

“On individuals and families even, bring about a carbon apology world,” she said.

“So you do know him.”

“The generation that was brought up demonizing carbon is now of voting age. They are the new voters. His message that we are paying for our carbon sins resonates with them.”

“Indeed. Meanwhile, Ganon voted to get our troops out of Afghanistan and then into Syria back in 2015. In 2017, he wanted to legalize euthanasia, but then he changed his mind. He is a flip-flopper. Remember what happened to Kerry in 2004 and Johnston in 2016? Romney in 2012? They even created a special website for him—mittromneyflipflops.com. Once the flip flopper label sticks…you, on the other hand, you are consistent.”