The Frenzy Way (30 page)

Eighteen years earlier

“We only Change at night,” Grandpa Jed said. They stood on the hillside behind the cabin, illuminated by a three-quarter moon, facing the woods. “That reduces the possibility of us ever being seen. Now, strip to your skin.”

Julian looked at his grandfather with uncertainty. “Go on now, unless you’ve got an unlimited wardrobe. But since I helped you carry your bags in, I know that ain’t the case.”

Stepping out of his sneakers, Julian stood on the damp grass. He pulled his T-shirt over his head and discarded it, then unzipped his jeans and wiggled out of them. He shivered in the cool night air. “Your underdrawers too.” Julian felt himself turning red all over.

“Don’t be embarrassed, son. I got no interest in seeing your privates. But I got no interest in buying you new drawers, neither. Drop ’em.”

Tucking his thumbs inside the waistband of his briefs, Julian slid the white fabric over his thighs, then his knees, then around his ankles. He stepped free of the underwear and cupped his hands over his penis, which he felt shrinking.

“You’re tense. Gotta let that go. Close your eyes.”

Julian closed his eyes.

“Good. Leave them closed. Take a deep breath.”

Julian sucked the night air into his lungs.

“Deeper.”

Again.

“Better. Now keep breathing like that. I want you to relax and
feel
the night. Don’t speak unless I tell you to. Don’t ask me any questions. Just do as I say. I want you to get your bearings. Breathe in your environment. Listen to the woods beyond us. Do you hear those crickets?”

“Yes.” He heard them loud and clear.

“How about the tree frogs?”

Julian concentrated, cataloguing the different sounds he heard in the woods. “I hear them.”

“What else do you hear?”

Focusing on the blackness in his mind, he isolated those sounds he could not identify.

“While you’re thinking on it, I want you to picture the moon overhead.”

Visualizing the moon, he felt his chest expanding. He felt something else too: his muscles seemed to grow stronger and his flesh tighter. He wanted to be free, to abandon his puny body. Then he heard footsteps in the woods: an animal hopping. “I hear a rabbit!”

“Good. Now picture your heart beating in your chest.”

He imagined the inside of his body. Muscle. Organs. Blood …

“Do you see it?”

Julian saw the organ beating in his chest, purifying his blood, so red. “I do!”

“Can you
feel
your heartbeat?”

This was a new experience for him. “Yes …”

“Now concentrate on the rabbit.”

His heart … the rabbit … his heart … the beat … “I hear it.”

“Don’t open your eyes, no matter what you feel. I want you to take the deepest breath you can.”

Sucking in oxygen, he felt his muscles grow even tighter.

“Make your hands into fists. Tighten your calves. Clench your stomach.”

Julian did everything his grandfather said, but he didn’t feel any different. Then his legs and arms cramped at the same time.

“Keep your eyes closed!”

Shaking all over, he strained to keep his eyes shut.

“Now
shift
your muscles.”

What the hell was he talking about?

“Shift, shift!”

The cramps spread throughout his body, burning his muscles and bones.
“Argh
…”

“Get down on your hands and knees.”

With his eyes still closed, Julian tried to ease himself down onto the grass, but his head struck the ground. The pain intensified.
Fire! Agony!

“Ignore the pain you feel. That’s normal. Bottle it up inside you. Listen to the rabbit’s heartbeat.”

Julian concentrated. He heard his heartbeat … and the rabbit’s footfalls … jumping through brush … and then he heard it: low at first, then growing louder: another heartbeat. In his mind he heard the two hearts alternating beats, one of them his own. He inhaled a hundred different scents from the woods; all of them caused his senses to tingle.
Breathe
…
breathe
…
breathe.

“Keep it all inside you. You want to scream, don’t you?”

He wanted to die. “Yesssssssss …”

“Then do it.”

So he died. All at once his body folded in on itself and tore him inside out. And then he was reborn.

“Scream!”

Julian screamed, and his scream became a howl.

Free
!

With his eyes open and seeing so much, he charged forward into the woods, illuminated by moonlight. He galloped on all fours, leaping over bushes and ignoring the twigs that his palms and the balls of his feet compacted beneath his weight. He weaved between trees, faster than he believed possible. He sensed an owl overhead, a mouse to his left, a snail to his right. Then he saw it: the rabbit hopping away from him. He knew its hopping was no match for his speed, which he increased. He bore down on the white creature, which veered left, then right. Then he closed his powerful jaws over its hindquarters and tasted sweet, hot blood, and for the first time in his life he felt truly alive
.

Julian felt the pain even before he had fully awakened from the dream. Fire consumed every muscle, organ, and bone in his body. The high-pitched scream that dragged him to consciousness left his throat feeling like an open, bloody wound. He tried to sit up in his bed, but that only sent daggers of pain hacking at his stomach muscles. Throwing his head back into his pillow, he believed his body was being ripped to pieces by some unseen beast. Tears streamed down his cheeks.

Grandpa Jed appeared in the doorway, holding a silver tray with a pitcher of water and a glass upon it.

“Help me
!” Julian spat the words out in a tortured gasp. “Relax, boy. You’ll live.”

“It hurts—
everywhere
.”

“That’s because you Changed last night. Your muscles, your bones, your teeth—every part of you Changed. Your body destroyed itself, then rebuilt itself. Your real self came loose. That’s bound to hurt, especially at your age.”

“I Ch-ch-changed?”

“You don’t remember?”

Swallowing, Julian imagined what it would feel like to have gasoline gushing down his throat. “… don’t remember …”

“Remember your
dreams.
Running through the forest. Hunting. Eating your first kill. All of that really happened.”

Julian remembered everything with clarity, including his painful Transformation.

Grandpa Jed poured him a glass of water. “Drink this. Drink the whole pitcher. Then I’ll bring you another one. Your muscles need it to heal. It’ll be days before you can even get out of bed and a week before you’ll feel strong enough to Change again. But remember this: every time you Change, you’ll heal faster than the time before and you’ll be stronger. Every Change will be easier than the one before it.”

Gulping the cold water, Julian realized he couldn’t wait for the week to pass so he could Change again.

Stalk drove his Jeep out of the NYPD impound lot at Pier 76 on West Thirty-eighth Street. Angela sat beside him, staring out the side window. They had barely spoken since she had fetched him.

“Thanks for getting me,” Stalk said. “I think they would have held me the full twenty-four if you hadn’t.”

“You’re welcome.”

He steered the vehicle downtown. “I’ll try not to involve you in this again.”

“Too late.” Her voice became a monotone. “He came into the shop this morning.”

Stalk stole a glance at her, curiosity piqued. “Who?”

“The Berserker.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I am.”

Stalk returned his gaze to the street. “What did he want?”

“He said he was looking for a copy of Transmogrification in Native American Mythology.”

“Glenzer’s book?” Stalk had read all of Glenzer’s published work.

“Yes, but I don’t think he really wanted it. I think he just wanted to know who else had come in for it recently. He was smart enough to ask for my personal copy to find out if anyone had wanted it badly enough to buy that. He also wanted to announce his presence to us—to taunt us.”

“He’s playing games, all right. Has been since he started all this.”

Angela’s eyes remained focused on him. “There was a cop back at the station. A detective. Italian, I think.”

Stalk nodded. “Captain Mace. He brought me in.”

“He’s the one I gave my copy of the book to.”

Stalk considered this. “You don’t say.”

Stalk parked the Jeep in a lot down the block from Synful Reading, and he and Angela went to her apartment, where he saw food laid out on the table: roast beef and mashed potatoes.

“Don’t eat it,” Angela said, turning away from him. “I made it for dinner last night.”

Stalk picked up a piece of meat and chewed it like jerky. “It’s delicious. My favorite, thanks.” He spied the open metal door on the other side of the room and stopped chewing. “Angus?”

“He died overnight.”

Stalk looked at the meat in his hand, felt self-conscious, and set it down. Stepping close to Angela, he eased his palms onto her shoulders. “I’m sorry. I know how it feels.” He felt her tense up, then shrug out of his grasp.

“Don’t.”

His voice softened. “Why not?”

“It brings back too many memories.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

She faced him, eyes moist and angry. “Yes, there is. I don’t want to remember those feelings.”

Reaching out, he touched her cheek. “I never stopped loving you.”

She grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away. “And I still love you. I can’t help that. But I’m alone now.”

He moved closer, his shadow darkening her face. “You still have me.”

Angela shook her head. “I don’t. I never did. Don’t you see? You’re walking around with a death wish. You always have. And you know what they say about wishes.”

He caressed her face with his other hand. “Nothing’s going to happen to me.”

She blinked back tears. “You’re wrong. Every minute you spend in this city brings you closer to death.”

He offered her his best cocky smile. “Yeah, but it’s the same for everyone in New York.”

“Don’t you
dare
joke about this! I don’t want to lose you too.”

He slid his hands over her shoulders, then down her bare arms, settling them around her waist. “You’re not going to.”

A teardrop escaped the corner of her left eye and trickled down her cheek. She made no attempt to wipe it away. “I wish I could believe that.”

Stalk applied slight pressure on the small of her back, guiding her closer to him. “I’ve got enough faith for both of us.” Leaning forward, he kissed her lips. She closed her eyes and returned the kiss, gently at first and then with urgency. Stalk pulled her body against his, inhaling her scent and tasting her tongue. They tugged at their clothing with the familiarity of old lovers and discarded them on the floor, then stood naked before each other. Her body was as hard and perfect as the last time he had seen it.

Taking his hand, she led him into her darkened bedroom, and they climbed onto her bed. He teased her wet opening with the head of his erection, then plunged inside her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and her legs around his buttocks, pulling him deeper inside her as she bucked against him. They stared into each other’s eyes, keeping no secrets. Her lips curled back, revealing her gums, almost snarling. Slick with sweat, their bodies strained against each other, their gasps keeping time with their movements.