The Further Adventures of Batman (49 page)

The fleeing Edsel appeared ahead of them, racing recklessly through Gotham City’s afternoon traffic. “Look, Batman,” said Robin. “We’re beginning to shorten the distance between us. His car’s engine sure doesn’t have the power of the Batmobile. The license plate on the Edsel will probably give us no useful information. No doubt he’s also stolen that car.”

“Nevertheless, make a note of it, Robin. I think the Batmobile will catch up to him soon. In addition to being much slower, he’s not a very good driver.”

Robin grinned in anticipation. “I can’t wait to see if he’s immune to a right cross!” he said.

The Polarizer steered the stolen Edsel onto the new Gotham Crosstown Expressway. He glanced into the rearview mirror and saw the Batmobile following some distance behind. Don’t worry, Batman, he thought. Or should I say, Bruce Wayne? I’m not trying to evade you in this traffic. Indeed, I fully intend to let you catch me, but not until we reach the place I’ve chosen. And then I’ve got one final surprise for you!

He reached out and switched on the car’s AM Radio, hoping to find a station broadcasting a news report of his daring daylight payroll robbery. As The Polarizer tuned the radio from one end of the band to the other, all he heard were the raucous and simpleminded pop tunes he hated so much. He felt it was horribly unfair for a genius such as he to be immersed against his will in the cesspool that was American culture in 1957.

The money he had stolen—the money that he would
continue
to steal—would help to shelter him from those demeaning influences. With money, he could live and work in a world unmarred by the cheap trash that passed nowadays for music and art and literature. He wanted to surround himself with the finer things, and carry on his own sophisticated research in the field of plasmonics. He had no desire to inflict harm, or to hurt people or wreak vengeance. He wanted only to be left alone with an awful lot of money.

He left the expressway and headed out beyond Gotham City’s suburbs into a wooded, hilly area. “Only a little farther, you hapless heroes,” he muttered. Beside him on the seat was the homemade remote-control unit. The Polarizer glanced over at it and reassured himself that all of its telltale lights were burning green. The unit was functioning perfectly. There was still one more switch to throw, but the time for that hadn’t quite arrived.

The road wound around in sharp hairpin turns, leading up to the heights where The Polarizer planned to prove to Batman and Robin that they could never defeat him. “Shall I let them die?” he asked himself. “Or shall I let them live, knowing that I can take their lives any time I wish?” He decided to leave the matter in the hand of Fate. Once again he glanced into the mirror, and saw that the Batmobile had surged ahead on the empty road and was now following close behind. In another minute it would overtake the Edsel.

“It’s time to say goodbye, Batman,” said The Polarizer. He saw that the road was now little more than a broad ledge along the sheer rock wall to the left. On the right, there was a sharp drop leading down into a steep, rocky gorge. The Polarizer shrugged and flipped the final switch. He could hear the muted explosions behind him, as many of the elements of the Batmobile’s electrical systems burst and shattered.

He watched the Batmobile swerve dangerously close to the edge of the cliff, and then, as Batman struggled to maintain control, it came to a halt across the middle of the road. Thick black smoke poured from beneath the Batmobile’s hood and from underneath the chassis. The Polarizer braked the Edsel to a stop far enough away so that the costumed heroes wouldn’t be able to capture him easily. He let the engine run, but got out of the car, carrying the remote-control unit and the bag of money.

“You’ve faced many ingenious foes, Batman,” The Polarizer called, “but none so clever as I. Who else has been able to manipulate you at will? Who else has discovered the means to defeat you through your own oversight? Who else has been able to prove that you are, in fact, Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson?”

Robin looked at Batman in surprise. “Batman, you were right! He knows our identities! But what does he mean about an oversight?”

“Quite simple, Robin,” said Batman. “It must have occurred to him that Batman must need to purchase large quantities of electronic components and other materials in order to build his many crime-fighting aids. Think how much time we spend maintaining the Batplane and the Batmobile in top working order, as well as keeping them up-to-date with all the latest instruments and weapons.”

“Of course, Mr. Wayne,” said the Polarizer. “It would take someone with a personal fortune as large as yours to pay for all that.”

Robin shook his head. “Then The Polarizer had some way of knowing which wealthy individuals in Gotham City were always buying electronic components and other parts.”

“Yes,” said Batman. “I think that behind that hideous mask is someone who, until a short time ago, worked for one of the city’s major supply companies.”

The Polarizer laughed. “I salute you, Batman. You’re quite as shrewd as legend has it. But you must give me some credit, as well. After all, I certainly don’t wish to draw unwanted attention to myself. If I did work for such a company, I wouldn’t be foolish enough to quit just as I began my career as The Polarizer.”

“Perhaps not,” said Robin. “But I don’t understand how you’ve wrecked the BATIVAC and the Batmobile.”

The Polarizer laughed again. “Forgive me for keeping that a trade secret,” he said.

“It’s simple enough, Robin,” said Batman. “Before delivering the components to us, he merely rigged them all with small amounts of plastic explosive, which he could detonate at will with his remote-control unit. In that way, he seemed to reach down into the very Batcave itself. As for the Bat-signal, that was even simpler. He didn’t need to destroy anything, but merely control one or more key components from a distance, to make the Bat-signal flash in dots and dashes.”

“And now I must leave you here,” said The Polarizer. “Replace the tens of thousands of components in your computer if you wish, although it would take years to examine them all one at a time, to guarantee that each one is safe. And remember, you rely on other complicated hardware, too. Someday, perhaps, every electronic system in the Batplane will fail when you’re flying over the ocean at 25,000 feet. You will never be able to trust your sophisticated machinery again.” He threw back his head and laughed. It was a sound that was not altogether sane.

“I’m not frightened.” said Batman. “We’ll soon have you out of circulation. I placed a Bat-Tracer on your car back at the
Daily Gazette
building. When you drive home, it will let me know exactly where you are. If you abandon the car when you get back to Gotham City, then you’ll be very conspicuous on foot. The police department will pick you up in a very short time.”

The Polarizer laughed again. “Why, I’ll merely destroy your tracer the same way I destroyed the Batmobile,” he said.

“I used a Bat-Tracer that I constructed more than a year ago,” said Batman. “That was before you began sabotaging the electronic components. Your remote-control unit will have no effect at all.”

The Polarizer stared at his enemies for a few seconds, realizing that Batman had spoken the truth. If the Dynamic Duo were stranded on this little-traveled hillside, so was he. He dropped the remote-control unit to the ground, and began running up the road, still clutching the bag of money.

“After him, Robin!” shouted Batman. While the Boy Wonder sprinted after The Polarizer, Batman took a rope Batarang from the damaged Batmobile. He flung it with practiced skill, and the Batarang looped through the air and twisted its rope around the bag containing the
Daily Gazette’s
payroll. When the Batarang returned to Batman’s hand, he gave a hard yank on the rope, and the bag pulled free of The Polarizer’s grasp.

“What?—” huffed The Polarizer, short of breath.

“We’re going to end this adventure the old-fashioned way,” said Robin. He struck The Polarizer hard in the solar plexus, doubling him over. Then Robin landed a single massive blow to the point of The Polarizer’s chin, and the costumed villain went down in a heap.

“Need any help, Robin?” called Batman, who had put the payroll money safely inside the Batmobile.

“I think he’s under control. I’ll just tie him securely to be sure—”

The Polarizer had regained his breath, however, and rolled away a short distance. He staggered to his feet, obviously confused and in pain.

“We’re placing you under arrest,” said Batman. “I’ve already called Commissioner Gordon on the radio in the Batmobile, and the police will be here in a few minutes.”

“No jail,” muttered The Polarizer, panting for breath and backing away across the shoulder of the road. “I won’t go to jail.”

Robin tried to wrap him with his strong silken cord, but again The Polarizer retreated. “You might as well give up now and make it easy on yourself,” said Robin. “There’s a nice, warm cell waiting for you in Gotham City Jail.”

Behind his mask, The Polarizer’s eyes grew large. “I told you,” he said, “I won’t go to jail.” He held his hands out in front of him, as if he were trying to ward off something terrifying.

“Robin,” said Batman quietly, “obviously this man is mentally disturbed. Don’t say or do anything to upset him further.”

The Polarizer made a cackling sound. “Disturbed, am I? Are you calling me mad? Is that what you say about all the villains who defeat you? Well, I’m not mad. Is it mad to refuse to be locked up in some horrible penal institution?

“Be careful, you’re near the edge!” warned Batman, but it was already too late.

The Polarizer had backed up as he delivered his final speech, and finally his foot slipped over the unguarded brink. He tottered there helplessly for the space of a heartbeat, and his terrified eyes flicked from Batman to Robin. Then, suddenly, he was gone. He did not utter a sound as he fell, but Batman and Robin both heard the sickening dull thud as The Polarizer’s body hit the rocks far below.

“Should we go down after him, Batman?” asked Robin.

“I don’t see his body,” said the solemn Caped Crusader. “But I don’t think anyone could have survived that fall. In any event, the police team will scour the area when they get here.”

Batman and Robin moved away from the edge of the cliff. They sat in the Batmobile while they waited for the Gotham City Police units to arrive. “He must have been a brilliant man,” mused Robin. “After all, he did figure out our secret identities, but they’re safe again now.”

For a few moments, Batman seemed lost in thought. When he spoke up, there was a sadness in his voice. “How ironic, Robin,” he said, “that such a genius should have forgotten one of mankind’s oldest proverbs: A sound mind in a sound body. The Polarizer couldn’t hope to defeat us because he had followed only half of that ancient advice. It wasn’t enough for him to wreck our modern devices because in the end it was that centuries-old piece of wisdom that conquered him. Wisdom, Robin! When all is said and done, the greatest force on Earth is still the human mind.”

—
With thanks to Doug Wirth

Idol

Ed Gorman

1984

Knock.

“Hi, hon. Just wanted to tell you that—”

His mother peeks around the edge of his bedroom door and says, “Gosh, hon. You’re kind of old for that, aren’t you?”

Her voice and eyes say she wishes she had not seen her seventeen-year-old son doing what he’s doing.

Pause, then: “Are you OK, hon?”

“Why wouldn’t I be OK?”

“Well—”

“I’m fine. Now get the hell out of here.”

“Hon, I’ve asked you not to talk to me that way. I’m your own mother. I’m—”

“You heard me.”

She knows this tone. Is afraid of it. Has been afraid of it ever since he was seven or eight years old.

He is not like other boys. Never has been.

“Yes, hon,” she says, already starting to cry useless tears. “Yes, hon.”

they don’t know my loneliness, they see only my
strength.
they don’t know my loneliness.

1986