The Game Changer (42 page)

Julian nodded absently, pouring himself another glass of water, but leaving this one on the counter untouched. “I don’t think my mom can handle it all on her own. She says she can, but…I think she’s going to need help. So I’m going to stay.”

“Stay?” Melody asked numbly.

“Yeah. Just until my dad gets settled and they get used to their new routine. I’ll help with the shopping and the cooking, and make sure Dad does his exercises and stuff.”

“But…” What could she say without sounding selfish and petty?
What about me? What about last night?
His dad could have died; she couldn’t fault Julian for wanting to stick around to make sure his parents were taken care of. But it stung. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected—that they’d suddenly be a couple, or that last night would have changed everything. His mother’s words from earlier in the day rang in her head.
‘I hope things work out for the two of you. You’ve been good for him.’

“We’d better get going,” Julian said, pushing away from the counter.

“Get going?” Melody felt like a ridiculous parrot, repeating everything he said.

“I’m going to take you to the train station and get you a ticket back to Bellevue. The train leaves in about an hour.”

Melody gaped at Julian.
This isn’t happening
. “You’re going to send me home?
Now
? Couldn’t I at least stay until tomorrow?”

Julian glanced at his watch. He looked antsy, and Melody had the quick, bitter thought that this must be how he treated girls when he was giving them the brush-off.

“It just doesn’t really make sense,” he said. “I’m going to shower and head back to the hospital, and I have no idea how long I’ll be there. It’s not fair for you to be here alone. You should be at home with Olivia and Ava and your mom. Go back to work.”

“Right…” Melody bit back a disbelieving laugh. “And, what? Forget last night ever happened?”

Julian blew out a weary sigh and ran his hand through his hair. “I didn’t say that.” His voice was low and rough, and he suddenly sounded exhausted, as if it were an effort just to get the words out.

Melody ignored the impulse to pull him into her arms and comfort him. He clearly didn’t want that—or her. He was hurting right now, and as much as she wanted to make him talk to her and tell her what the hell was going on in his head, she didn’t want to add to his stress. So she turned silently and went upstairs to throw her few belongings into her bag. She looked at the bed with its disheveled sheets, and felt a sob rise up in her throat. Spinning away, she swallowed down her tears and left the room, going down the stairs and straight outside to Julian’s car, where he joined her moments later.

The drive across town to the train station was filled with a heavy silence. The car was so full of tension, Melody thought it would suffocate her. She kept her face turned toward the passenger side window, watching the Ottawa scenery pass by.

Upon arriving at the train station, Melody opened her door before Julian had the car in park. He caught up with her halfway to the terminal and took her bag from her. She opened her mouth to argue—it wasn’t heavy, and she didn’t want his help—but she snapped it shut again when she saw the pleading look on his face. Carrying on to the terminal, she went straight to the short line at the ticket booth.

“I’m going to get your ticket,” Julian told her, and she noticed he already had his wallet in hand. Melody stared at him for a moment, and knew again that arguing would do no good. It was his idea to send her home, after all. With a curt nod, she headed out to the platform and found a seat.

Julian joined her a few minutes later, sitting beside her with enough room between them for another person. “I got you a sandwich, some peanut butter cups, and a Diet Pepsi,” he told her, staring straight ahead across the tracks. “They’re in your bag.”

Melody couldn’t understand why the gesture made her want to break down in tears. How could he be so distant and cool, but at the same time still have this instinct to take care of her? “Thank you.”

Melody was both sad and relieved when the train appeared in the distance. She gathered up her bag and stood, smoothing down her jeans and fiddling with the strap of her purse. Julian remained seated, still staring straight ahead, his expression unreadable.

“Well…I guess I’ll see you later,” she said, starting to walk away. She only made it a few feet before she spun around and marched back, standing right in front of Julian so he was forced to finally look at her.

“You know, Olivia pointed out something interesting to me the other day,” she told him, amazed at how low and even her voice was when all she wanted to do was lash out in hurt and anger and frustration. “She said I’m afraid…of failure, of my life not turning out the way I wanted, of all kinds of things. And she was right. I am afraid.” She threw her hands up in the air and shrugged. “But I realize now that I’m not the only one who’s afraid. I’m scared of what might be between us, but the difference between you and me is that I’m willing to face it and you’re not. I thought you were different, but I guess I was wrong—you got what you wanted, and now you’re through with me.”

Her brain barely processed the stunned look on Julian’s face before she turned away and walked in the direction of the train. She let out a gasp of surprise when Julian grabbed her arm roughly and yanked her around to face him. A few people paused and regarded them with concerned expressions, and Julian loosened his grip slightly, waiting for them to move on.

Melody had never seen Julian this angry. His eyes were so dark they were almost black, and she held her breath as he leaned in and said in a barely controlled voice, “I can’t believe you would think that of me. Cut me some slack, Melody, my dad just had a heart attack. My mind’s all fucked up.”

Melody pulled her arm loose and crossed her arms over her chest. “Which is the exact reason I
did
cut you slack last night when you said being with me would be a mistake. Part of me knew you were scared and it just came out and you didn’t mean it. But
this
…sleeping with me…saying the things you did, and the way you looked at me and touched me and kissed me. I felt special, but that’s probably how all the others felt, too.”

Julian reeled back as if Melody had slapped him. His reaction almost made her regret her words.
Almost.

“I didn’t feel for
any
of them what I feel for you,” Julian said quietly, hanging his head.

“And what’s that? What do you feel for me, Julian?”

He threw his hands up, then went to run them through his hair, but stopped and rubbed his temples instead, looking weary. “I don’t know, Melody.”

A mirthless laugh escaped Melody’s lips. “Let me know if you figure it out.” She turned her back and started to walk away again, but stopped. “Get your shit together, Julian. I won’t wait forever.” Somehow she found the resolve to really walk away this time. Without a backward glance, she crossed the platform and boarded the train, finding a seat on the far side so she wouldn’t be tempted to look at Julian standing on the platform.

Part of her was afraid she’d lose her resolve and run from the train straight into Julian’s arms, begging him to forgive her and work things out. But she hadn’t done anything that needed forgiving, and she was done being afraid of her own feelings.

She finally knew what she wanted, and it was Julian. Now the rest was up to him.

*****

The sun was hanging low in the sky by the time the train pulled into Bellevue station. Melody nearly wept from relief when she saw Olivia standing on the platform waiting for her. She had taken her phone into the cramped bathroom and called Olivia shortly after the train left Ottawa, giving her the short version of recent events. Olivia had offered to pick her up, but Melody assured her she was fine taking a taxi home.

“You have no idea how glad I am to see you.” Melody collapsed against Olivia and rested her head on her best friend’s shoulder.

“You didn’t really think I’d let you take a taxi home,” Olivia said, running a soothing hand over Melody’s hair. “Rule one of the best friend handbook: be there for each other no matter what, but especially when times are tough.”

Melody let out a sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh, and buried her face in Olivia’s hair. “Still…thank you.”

“Of course.” Olivia patted Melody’s back and took her bag from her. “Let’s get you home.”

Olivia made a detour to the Dairy Queen drive-thru on their way home, ordering two of Melody’s favourite combos, extra fries, and two large parfaits. As they drove up to the window, Melody thought of the untouched food in her bag that Julian had bought in Ottawa—Melody’s favourite kind of sandwich, chocolate, and drink. He really did know her well.

Back at the apartment, Melody had to drag herself up the long staircase to their front door. Olivia pushed her in the direction of her bedroom and told her to take a few minutes to herself.

Melody didn’t take any longer than necessary changing into baggy sweats and an old t-shirt. She’d had enough time alone with her thoughts, and all she wanted now was for her best friend to comfort her. She walked into the living room, and a ghost of a smile flitted across her face when she noticed Olivia had unpacked their food and set it up on the coffee table. A bottle of rye sat next to their cups of Diet Pepsi, and Melody imagined they were now strongly spiked with the liquor.

“I love you so much I’d even be willing to watch
Bridget Jones’ Diary
right now,” Olivia announced, crossing the room with the bottle of ketchup and a handful of napkins.

Melody smiled weakly. “You’re the best…but this is something even Bridget Jones can’t fix.”

Olivia frowned. “This is more serious than I thought.” She dropped onto the couch and patted the cushion next to her. “Tell me everything. Don’t leave anything out.”

With a sigh, Melody sank onto the couch and reached for her drink. She could smell the booze as she raised the cup to her lips, and she took several big gulps before telling Olivia everything that happened over the last two days.

When she was finished, she was surprised to discover she’d eaten her burger and almost all her fries. She barely remembered pausing to shovel the food into her mouth, but she felt slightly better after all the grease and fat…and alcohol.

“What an ass-hat,” Olivia said angrily, stuffing a fry into her mouth.

“Not really,” Melody said, partly surprised that she was defending Julian. “Well, kind of,” she amended when Olivia shot her a dirty look. “He’s just…messed up right now. I can understand it in a way. I mean, look at how you freaked out just the other day because you thought things with you and Cameron were moving too fast.”

Olivia shrugged one shoulder and bobbed her head begrudgingly. “I guess you’re right. Still…”

“I know,” Melody sighed. “We can refer to him as The Ass-Hat for the rest of the night if it makes you feel better.”

“Will it make
you
feel better?”

Melody thought about it. “Kinda,” she admitted.

Olivia let out a half-drunk giggle and tapped the rim of her paper cup against Melody’s. “That’s my girl.”

CHAPTER 22

Melody was semi-conscious of the fact that somebody had just crawled into bed next to her. For a second she thought she was still in Ottawa and Julian had returned home from visiting his dad in the hospital. Before she even opened her eyes, the truth hit her anew—she wasn’t in Ottawa, Julian had unceremoniously sent her home, and now she was in her own home, in her own bed. Which meant the person lying next to her was…

“Morning,” Olivia sang softly. “Your eyes are still closed, but I know you’re awake.”

Melody groaned and opened her eyes slowly, squinting against the morning light that flooded her bedroom. She flicked a gaze at Olivia, meeting her aqua eyes and groaning again. It had been so long since she’d seen Olivia in the morning, she’d forgotten how disgustingly perfect she somehow managed to look. It just wasn’t right.

“You’re not hung over, are you? Or sick?” Olivia asked, laying the back of her hand on Melody’s forehead.

“No. Unless it’s possible to be emotionally sick.” Melody rolled onto her side facing Olivia.

“It is,” Olivia told her with a sage nod. “And the only cure is spending time with your best friend and letting her spoil you rotten. I’m sensing…” Olivia paused dramatically, tapping a finger on her chin. “A day of shopping. Or maybe the spa and a fancy restaurant afterward? Or movie marathon at the theatre? We haven’t done that in years.”