The Gift (10 page)

She continued, “The problem is that I don’t know if it
happened with you or with Zak. I can’t remember if we used anything that night.”

“Maggie, I thought you were on the pill,” he said. He
had seen her pill container on the counter in the bathroom.

“No, I had switched to using a diaphragm, but I didn’t
have it with me the night we made love.”

“I don’t think that I used a condom,” Justin said. “What
about Zak?”

“I’m not sure, I don’t remember.”

“Maggie, I think we are going to have to go talk to Zak
and tell him what happened.”

Maggie’s heart sank. She was not looking forward to that
conversation.  She was sure that Justin wasn’t looking forward to it either.

“I’ll pay for you to fly down to Louisiana so we can
both talk to Zak. This is something that we should do together and in person.
How about if you fly down in a week and then we can drive back up to Boston with Tom to start the tour?”

Maggie agreed and then hung up the phone. She didn’t
think she could handle talking to Zak, so she called Caleb. She told him that
she and Justin wanted to come over and talk to Zak, that she had something
important to tell him that she had to say in person. Caleb told her that he
would respect her privacy and not ask her about it, but he told her to not
expect a warm welcome from his family. His mother was really angry with Maggie.
The general consensus was that Maggie should never have kicked Zak out of the
house forcing him to drive while he was drunk. They knew that something bad had
happened that had upset Maggie, but she should have let Zak stay at the house
until he was sober. He said that Zak didn’t blame her for the accident, he took
full responsibility for it. But he was the exception.  Maggie arranged for a
time to meet with Zak, and then called Justin back to let him know when she
would fly down.

The next week went by slowly. Spencer decided someone
needed to take care of Maggie and that he would volunteer for the job. He set
up an appointment for Maggie to see the doctor and drove her to it. He took her
to the Rite Aid to get her special pre-natal vitamins. Maggie was getting more
and more depressed, so one night he suggested they go to Jimmie D’s to hear
some music. Peter Rowan, one of their favorite bluegrass musicians, was playing
there. Maggie had wanted to see him play since high school, so Spencer called
and reserved a small table for dinner so Maggie wouldn’t have to stand.
Besides, she looked like she could use a good meal, she hadn’t been eating very
much because of her morning sickness.

The waitress that Spencer had met at the drugstore
seated them at their table. As she handed them their menus she asked if
congratulations were in order. Spencer asked her what she meant and she told
them that she had seen him buy the pregnancy kit. Maggie looked pained and said
that yes, she was pregnant. The waitress wished them good luck and left to wait
on another table.

Spencer told Maggie that he was sorry, that he hadn’t
realized that anyone had seen him buy the kit. They knew that this gossip was
going to get around their small music community and pretty soon everyone would
know. Also, they could tell that the waitress assumed that Spencer was the
father. Spencer said that he didn’t mind if Maggie wanted to discourage
speculation for a while. Maggie thanked him for his kindness. She realized that
Spencer might benefit in a way from this rumor. She had discovered that he was
gay, but wasn’t ready to share that yet with his friends and acquaintances.
Some of their friends had already assumed that Spencer and Maggie were involved
in a romantic relationship because they were living together.

Three days later, Spencer drove Maggie to Logan airport so she could fly back to Louisiana. She hadn’t expected to return so soon
and was getting a little tired of the trip. While she was waiting for her plane
to take off, thunderstorms started gathering on the horizon. The passengers
were finally allowed to board the plane. Maggie sat nervously waiting for the
plane to take off, she didn’t like flying especially in bad weather.  The pilot
came on the loudspeaker and said they were the next plane in line to take off.
He told them it might be a little rough for a couple minutes but that they
would be fine once they got above the clouds. The plane lumbered down the
runway, and slowly ascended into the air, when suddenly the pilot announced
that a tire had blown out on take-off. He said he was going to have to return
to the airport. He also said that he wasn’t sure which tire had blown, so there
were going to be some fire trucks lining the runway in case there was a
problem. He advised everyone to brace themselves because the landing was
probably going to be a little rough.

Maggie was terrified. She grabbed the arm of the seat,
closed her eyes and prayed while the pilot brought the plane down. Surprisingly
the landing was fairly smooth, the pilot had done an excellent job in spite of
the problems. The plane taxied over to the side of a terminal, where
maintenance workers rushed out and quickly changed the tire. But while they
waited on the tarmac, the storm clouds continued to darken and it started to
rain hard. Maggie began to feel like this was some kind of omen. Maybe she
shouldn’t be going back to Louisiana. Maybe she should just stay in Boston.

Finally, the plane taxied back out to the runway for a
second time, and took off again. This time the takeoff was really rough. The
plane was buffeted from side to side by the strong winds and Maggie could see
an occasional flash of lightening through the tiny plane window on the other
side of the aisle. The plane pulled up steeply, finally clearing the storm
clouds. Above the clouds, the sun was shining and Maggie could finally relax.

Maggie slept through the rest of the flight and was
groggy when the flight attendant touched her arm to tell her they were landing.
Maggie was glad that she would be coming back in the car. She didn’t want to
fly again for a long time.

Maggie exited the plane to find Justin waiting for her
in the terminal. He took her small carry-on bag and then he hugged her and put
his arm around her as they walked to the car. He asked her how her flight was
and she told him about it. He said that it sounded pretty scary and he was glad
he didn’t have to fly too often. They were both nervous about going to see Zak,
so they didn’t even discuss it. Instead they talked about issues relating to
the tour.

When they got to the Lincoln, Justin opened the car door
for Maggie, something he had never done before. Maggie appreciated his
thoughtfulness but felt strange at his change in behavior now that he knew she
was pregnant. They got back on the I-10 for the familiar drive back home.

After a few minutes, they ran out of small talk so
Justin rummaged through the glove compartment for some cassette tapes. He
loaded one into the cassette deck and started to play the tape that had been
made of the Bayou Blasters in the studio in New Orleans. Maggie was impressed
by the clean sound, the engineer had done a great job mixing the album. She
listened for a while and tried to imagine what the band would sound like
without Zak on lead guitar. She knew that the band wouldn’t sound the same, Zak
was probably the most important ingredient to their sound. Spencer just wasn’t
going to be able to take his place.

Finally, they pulled into the driveway in front of Zak’s
mother’s house. They looked at each other nervously and Justin patted Maggie’s
hand.

“It will be fine,” he said. “Zak deserves to know the
truth.”

They got out of the car and slowly walked to the front
door. Zak opened it and stood there on his crutches. He was happy to see them,
but was wondering what Maggie had to tell him. Justin took the door from Zak
and held it open for Maggie so she could enter the house. She walked into the
front hall, and gave Zak a brief hug. He would have liked to hug her back, but
he was a little unsteady on his cast and crutches. So he made his way slowly over
to the couch in the living room and sat down. Maggie sat next to him. He
reached over to hold her hand.

“I’m glad to see you, sha,” he said. “I’ve missed you”.

Justin sat on an armchair opposite them so he could see
their faces.

Maggie started out by asking Zak how he was doing. She
wanted to know when he was getting out of the cast and when he would be up to
traveling again. Zak told them that the doctor had said it would be another
four or five weeks 

Zak knew that Maggie was stalling, so he asked her what
was up.

Maggie looked at Justin and then down at the rug. She
felt that she couldn’t look Zak in the face. She was finding this even more
difficult than she had imagined it to be. She loved Zak and couldn’t bear to
hurt him. Justin decided that maybe he should step in and help out.

“Zak, Maggie and I have something to tell you. It’s
about the night that she found you with Jackie. Maggie was upset, so we drank a
couple bottles of wine and did some coke. We were really blasted, and then
somehow we ended up having sex.”

Zak looked like someone had just hit him in the face
with a two by four.

Justin went on.

“Zak, we can’t tell you how sorry we are. It was
inexcusable, at least on my part. Maggie was incredibly drunk and I don’t think
that Maggie realized what she was doing.”

Zak looked at both of them with wounded eyes. He was
unable to speak. Maggie started to cry, and then she said “I’m so sorry Zak.”

“I don’t know what to think,” Zak finally said. “What
does this mean? Are you in love with each other?”

 “No,” Justin replied. “It was just a night of drunken
sex.  Maggie was devastated about Jacqueline and I tried to comfort her, and
things got out of hand.”

Zak said, “I wish you two had said something before,
instead of letting me go on feeling like such a bastard. I guess what happened
with you wasn’t that much different than what happened between me and Jackie. I
didn’t intend to sleep with her. She kept trying to get me drunk and excited
and then finally I couldn’t control myself. I don’t even remember what happened
that night.”

Zak paused for a minute and then said, “Well Maggie,
maybe you can find it in your heart now to forgive me.”  Zak looked angry.

Maggie started crying again.

“I’m sorry Zak, I do forgive you. I’m sorry that I’ve
been so hard on you. I don’t think that you’re going to forgive me though.”

The look on Zak’s face softened a little. He took
Maggie’s hand and said, “Maggie, if you can forgive me, then I can forgive you
and Justin. I suppose that if I had never slept with Jackie, then you and
Justin wouldn’t have had sex.”

Maggie knew she had to tell him the whole truth.

“Zak, there’s something else I have to tell you.”

He looked at her quizzically.

“Zak, I’m pregnant and I don’t know who the father is. I
don’t know if it’s you or Justin.”

Zak couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Are you kidding me? Didn’t you guys think to use birth
control?”

Justin thought that he had better stay out of the
conversation. He was afraid that Zak might hit him.

Maggie replied, “I guess I was too drunk. I guess we
were both too drunk.”

Then she asked him a question.

“Zak, did we use any birth control when we made love in
the hotel room in Atlanta when I was on tour?”

Zak’s eyes widened. “I don’t know Maggie, I can’t
remember. I think I used a condom. I guess they’re not totally foolproof
though. Christ, Maggie. What are we going to do now?” Zak exploded.

Maggie said, “I don’t know” and started to cry.

“I need to get out of here,” Zak said and hobbled off on
his crutches down the hall, into the kitchen and out the back door. He went and
sat down at a picnic table in the back yard.

Now that Zak was out of the house, Justin put his arm
around Maggie and held her while she cried. Maggie felt like her life was in
ruins and things would never be right again. Maggie’s face was wet with tears
and she was snuffling loudly.  Justin went into the bathroom and got her a
Kleenex so she could blow her nose. Then he sat with both arms around her and
held her until she stopped crying.

They heard Zak clumping up the back steps, and Justin
released Maggie. He didn’t think it was a good idea if Zak saw him with his
arms around her. Zak slowly shuffled back into the living room and sat down
next to Maggie.

 “I could use a shot right now,” he said. “But I
promised that I wouldn’t drink anymore.” He looked at Maggie’s tear-stained
face and said “Maggie, what are we going to do?” He waited for a response, but
there wasn’t one. Then he asked Maggie if she still loved him. Maggie looked up
slowly and gazed into his eyes.

“Yes, Zak, I think I will always love you.”

Zak replied, “I don’t want to see that one mistake that
I made with Jacqueline snowball into something that ruins our lives. Maggie, I
love you too. I can’t live without you. I’ve been totally miserable over the last
few weeks.”

Zak took Maggie’s hand in his, and then said “I think we
should get married. I love you and I want to be with you forever. I don’t care
if this baby is mine or Justin’s.”

Maggie sobbed loudly as Zak held her in his arms and
kissed her. Zak finally looked up at Justin.

“What do you think,” he said. “Are you o.k. with that?”

“I just want what’s best for you and Maggie. I’m so
sorry for what happened,” Justin said.

Zak turned to Maggie. “I think we should get married as
soon as possible. I’ll leave all the details up to you, but maybe a small
wedding would be a good idea.”

Maggie was in shock. This wasn’t the outcome she had
anticipated from this conversation. She had thought that Zak was going to
become enraged and then kick them out of the house. She was impressed with his
strength of character, that he had been able to overcome his anger and forgive
them. A saying was going through her head, “To err is human, to forgive is
divine.”  She understood what that meant now.