THE GIFT: A Highland Novella (16 page)

What does Lily want? What can I give her?

“
All of this,
”
his grandmother said, spreading her arms.
“
She wants a true home with a clan and a family
—
though she
’
s too stubborn to admit it. Most of all, she wants you, Roderick.
”

Lily wanted him in her bed
—
but not for long and not as a husband.

“
She
’
s one of those lost souls who had the misfortune of being born at the wrong place and into the wrong family,
”
Seanmhair said.
“
The mistrust they taught her is a grave challenge.
”

His grandmother was being no help at all.

“
But ye must keep the lass here,
”
his grandmother said.
“
She is the answer.
”

“
Don
’
t try to tell me again that she
’
s the clan
’
s next seer.
”
He dropped onto a stool and ran his hands through his hair.
“
How could ye have it so wrong? Lily doesn
’
t have the damned
Sight
at all, let alone the gift of a great seer
.
”

“
Lily does have a touch of the gift, like most good healers,
”
she said.
“’
Tis just as I expected.
”

“
As ye expected?
”
he said, looking up.
“
Then why did ye plant the notion of her being our next seer in my head in the first place?
”

“
I never said ye would find the seer on your journey.
”

“
Ye did,
”
he said.

She sat down beside him and patted his shoulder.
“
What I said was that ye would find the lass
you
need, Roderick. Lily is meant to be your wife.
”

That was not how he remembered it, but she was right that Lily was the lass he needed.

“
Why did ye not tell me all this from the start?
”
he said.
“
I would have done things differently if I
’
d known Lily was meant to be my wife.
”

“
Hmmph,
”
his grandmother snorted.
“
If you
’
d known it, ye would have made things even worse than ye have.
”

It was true that he had been desperate to avoid marriage.

“
Though Lily is no
’
much of a seer,
”
his grandmother said,
“
she is also the lass the clan needs.
”

“
To hell with what the clan needs,
”
he muttered, and rubbed his hands over his face.

“
The Sight
was verra strong in your mother,
”
she said.
“
Ye carry her blood.
”

If his grandmother could not tell him something useful, he wished she would be quiet so he could think.

“
The gift rarely shows itself in the men of our family,
”
she continued.
“
But it comes out in you when Lily needs ye most.
’
Tis why ye found her on that hillside.
”

Ach
, what was she droning on about? He didn
’
t have
The Sight
.

“
The child born of your blood and a true love will have a powerful gift that surpasses even mine,
”
she said.
“
’
Tis not Lily, but the daughter the two of ye will have together, who is destined to become a great seer of our clan.
”

Roderick had barely been listening to her rambling, but he jolted upright when her words penetrated his thoughts.
“
What did ye say?
”

“
I saw it in a vision as clear as the nose on my face,
”
she said, laying her finger against the side of her nose.
“
Your daughter will take my place and serve our clan through difficult times and for many, many years.
”

“
Lily and I will have a child together?
”
The notion sent a burst of joy through him.
“
A daughter?
”

Roderick imagined a wee girl with red hair as bright as the sun and startling green eyes.

“
Aye, and several other bairns as well
—
if ye don
’
t lose the mother.
”
His grandmother gave him a sharp slap on the back of his head.
“
The vision is fading, so you
’
d best win her back.
”

He kissed his grandmother
’
s cheek and got up to go after Lily. At the door he paused.

“
Lily must not know of this,
”
he said.
“
If I
’
m to have any chance at all of persuading her to stay and be my wife, she cannot learn of it.
”

His grandmother raised her hands and shook her head, but he was intent on this. The last thing he needed was for Lily to believe he had any motive for keeping her here other than that he loved her.

“
Lily must never learn that your vision was of our child, and not her, becoming the seer.
”

“’
Tis too late,
”
his grandmother said.
“
The lass already knows. She
’
s listening at the door.
”

***

Lily felt so light that her feet seemed to barely touch the ground as she raced back to the cottage. Not even the cold drizzle that had started to fall could dampen her spirits. She had decided to trust her heart and marry Roderick.

When she reached the cottage, she heard voices inside, including the deep tones that played on her heartstrings.

Old habits die hard. Listening at doors had helped her avoid getting caught in her family
’
s criminal schemes and other dangers in the city. Before she realized what she was doing, she paused to listen
.

“
Lily must not know of this
…”

Lily sucked in her breath. What was Roderick keeping from her? She tried to persuade herself that she had misunderstood as she pressed her ear against the door. Though she did not understand all the words, the few she did were damning.

“
…
stay
…
be my wife
…
she cannot learn
…”

Roderick had deceived her again. He
’
d told her it was love, but he had another reason for keeping her here. There was something he wanted from her. She held her breath, desperate to hear what it was.

“
…
your vision was of our child
…
the seer.
”

Tears blurred Lily
’
s eyes as she ran from the cottage. She heard the door slam but kept running until Roderick caught her.

“
I hate you! I hate you!
”
she shouted as she scratched and kicked at him.
“
How could you do this to me!
”

“
I know what ye overheard sounded bad,
”
he said, holding her arms.
“
But ye must give me a chance to explain.
”

“
You pretended that you loved me,
”
she said.
“
But you only want me for the child you think I can give to your clan. That
’
s all it ever was.
”

“
Children would be a blessing,
”
he said.
“
But I want to marry ye because I can
’
t live without ye. Lily, I love ye with all my heart.
”

“
I
’
ll never be your wife,
”
she shouted.
“
I won
’
t stay here! I
’
m going back to my shop in London.
”

“
Ye want to throw away the happiness we could have,
”
he said, sounding angry now.
“
And for what? For four walls and some hanging herbs?
”

“
I have customers who rely on me, people I help.
”

“
They pay coin for your service, but will they help you when you
’
re in trouble? Nay, they care nothing for ye,
”
he said.
“’
Tis not like serving your own people, your clan, who are bonded to ye in good times and bad.
”

She remembered how she had felt embraced in the joy of his clan at the Yuletide bonfire
—
and how alone she usually felt on feast days. Yet the sense of kinship with his clan that marriage would bring could never outweigh the pain of loving a man who used and deceived her.

And she did love Roderick.

“
Look into your heart, Lily,
”
Roderick said, bringing his face close to hers.
“
Ye belong here. Ye belong with me.
”

“
I don
’
t care,
”
she said, shaking her head.
“
I won
’
t stay.
”

He gripped her arms and held her so that their bodies almost touched, which caused a yearning that nearly undid her.

“
When you
’
re back in your London town,
”
he said,
“
you
’
ll miss the sound of the sea outside the window, the mist on the loch, the mountains shrouded in clouds.
”

As he spoke, each image was clear to her mind.

“
And you
’
ll miss me.
”
His voice was thick with emotion, and his eyes locked on hers.
“
You
’
ll sit alone by your hearth on a cold evening with no one to hear the stories of your day
—
a strange malady ye treated or a new cure ye tried
—
and you
’
ll wish I was there.
”

It was true, all of it. But it changed nothing.

“
And at night,
”
he said,
“
you
’
ll lie alone in your bed thinking of the pleasure I could give ye.
”

She would long for his touch and miss him every night and day. But she would not give him the satisfaction of admitting it.

“
Who
’
s to say I
’
ll be alone in my bed?
”
she snapped.

The sudden rage burning in his eyes tested her courage. She swallowed hard and stood her ground. Though he was a lying bastard who broke her heart, she knew he would not harm her physically.

“’
Tis nothing to me what ye do when ye leave here,
”
he said, but the twitch in his eye told her he lied.
“
Ye can be sure I won
’
t be sleeping alone.
”

His words felt like a blow to her chest, forcing the air out of her lungs.

“
I expect I
’
ll be wed,
”
he said,
“
and have a babe on the way by spring.
”

Her eyes stung. That babe could be hers. Should be hers.

“
Will ye lie to her as well?
”
she asked.
“
Tell her that ye love her?
”

“
I wish I could tell her that because a good woman deserves her man
’
s love,
”
he said.
“
Though I can
’
t give her love, I
’
ll do my damnedest to be the best husband to her that I can.
”

With that, he turned his back on her. Lily let the tears slide down her face as she watched him walk away with long, purposeful strides.

***

When Lily opened the door, she found Seanmhair bustling about the cottage, gathering things into a leather bag. The old woman paused to give Lily a scathing look.

Lily was already in a state. She hoped she would not lose the old woman
’
s friendship over her refusal to wed Roderick.

“
Stubborn as an ass,
”
Seanmhair mumbled loud enough for Lily to hear.
“
A shame there
’
s no cure for that.
”

Lily was taken aback by Seanmhair
’
s hurtful words. Though she only understood half of what the old woman spewed, that was more than enough.

“
Selfish
…
inconsiderate
…
dimwitted
…
.
”

Lily went to stand before the old woman.
“
I
’
m not those things.
”

“
Hmmph.
”
Seanmhair conveyed as much disgust in that Scottish snort as Roderick did. She made a swiping motion with her hand as she said,
“
Ye tossed away the love of a good man.
”

“
He doesn
’
t truly care for me,
”
Lily said, clenching her fists.
“
It was all lies.
”