Authors: Mary Balogh
He looked abruptly away from Madeline to find that the eldest Courtney son was also gazing at her, an almost comical look of unrequited love on his face. He had not looked like that a moment ago, surely? But no, there was nothing of love in his feelings for the woman. He would like to bed her, that was all. He would like to have her beneath him, to show her that a physical encounter between a man and a woman was a great deal more real and raw than the romantic, flirtatious encounter that her manner suggested she expected.
Good God, he thought, appalled at himself, he wanted to hurt her.
“Is one permitted to walk in the garden for fresh air?” he asked Howard Courtney.
Howard seemed quite happy to have his train of thought broken. He grinned broadly. “I'll join you if I may, sir,” he said. “I don't suppose you would care to see our hogs? The boar won a prize at the fair last week.”
“I think I would be quite delighted to see your hogs,” Purnell said with a wry smile, “provided we can do so without having to bring the smell of the pens back inside with us again later.”
L
ORD
E
DEN WAS WALTZING WITH
Susan and thoroughly enjoying the sensation of holding her small, very shapely form. He held her at arm's length, of course, as propriety demanded, but the Courtney parlor was not excessively large and there were twelve couples twirling about it, not to mention a few other people sitting or standing around the edge of the floor, which had been cleared for the dancing. Under the circumstances there was more than one opportunity to draw his partner close enough that they almost touched.
“I would not have believed it, Susan,” he said, smiling down at her bright, pretty face. “What has happened to the little girl I knew but two years ago?”
“She has grown up, my lord,” she said, sweeping him a look from under her lashes. “Are you sorry?”
“Yes, indeed I am,” he said, winning for himself what he had hoped for: a direct and questioning look from those large hazel eyes. “The little girl used to call me Dominic.”
“It seems unseemly still to do so,” she said, blushing prettily. “I am a woman now.”
“Oh, and so I had noticed, Susan,” he said. “But come, I want to hear you say my name.”
“You are unkind to bully me,” she said, and raised eyes shining with unshed tears to his interested gaze. “Gentlemen all seem to think that they can tease me because I am female and may not fight back.”
“Susan!” he said, gentle concern in his voice. “I did not mean to tease. I certainly did not intend to bully. Come, I will make no more demands of you. You may call me what you will. Smile at me and tell me you forgive me.”
“Of course I forgive you,” she said. “It really is excessively hot in here.” She raised appealing eyes to his.
“Then I will take you somewhere where it is cooler,” he said. “Outside?”
“I really should not,” she said. “But perhaps just outside the door.”
“Just outside the door” proved to be a rather dark stretch of lawn on the opposite side of the house from all the farm buildings. And Lord Eden walked for all of ten minutes, the girl's slim arm drawn through his, her voice a whisper close to his ear. He spent the whole time in some discomfort, resisting the urge to steal a kiss. The trouble was that she was just the type of female that he found most irresistible. She made him feel large and protective and older than his years.
But she had almost wept at his familiarity in suggesting that she call him by his name. She would either have the vapors or deal him a stinging slap to the cheek if he tried to kiss her. And besides, he was not free to indulge in a flirtation with Susan Courtney or any other female, appealing or otherwise. He had pledged himself to marrying his brother's betrothed. And he must not put off the siege indefinitely, or those two would be married and Edmund would be doomed to a life sentence indeed.
“Shall we go back inside?” he suggested, hugging Susan's arm closer to his side for a moment. “I would hate for you to catch a chill.”
“I suppose so,” she said wistfully. “It is so pleasant out here. I could walk for an hour.”
“I think perhaps your mama would be displeased with me if I kept you out here any longer,” he said gently.
She raised large eyes to his in the darkness. “Other people do love to gossip,” she admitted. “Yes, take me back inside, my lord. I know that you would not do anything unbecoming a gentleman, but they may not know that.”
Lord Eden squeezed her hand and restrained himself with great difficulty from proving her judgment of him quite wrong.
A
LEXANDRA FOUND HERSELF UNEXPECTEDLY
the center of attraction, being newly betrothed to the Earl of Amberley. It was a novel experience for her to find her hand solicited for every dance. She even found herself relaxing far more than she ever had in company, warmed by the unpretentious friendliness of her fiancé's neighbors and relatives.
It was a great relief to have this dinner and dance to attend. She did not know how she would have endured an evening at home. How would she have talked with her betrothed? Looked at him? She had been able to avoid both under the circumstances. And it seemed that he too had avoided her, sitting close to Sir Cedric during tea and talking about sheep and crops while his mother had drawn her into conversation; sending her to the Courtneys' in a different coach from the one in which he traveled; leading Mrs. Courtney in to dinner; and choosing dancing partners other than herself. She did not look forward to the one waltz he had reserved with her later.
Alexandra had the uncomfortable feeling that she had behaved very badly that afternoon. As a gesture of some openness, she had asked Lord Amberley to kiss her. Yet when he had done so, she had blamed him and accused him of trying to seduce her. How very unfair she had been. He had been quite right about that.
And she had told him she would not marry him. She had been prepared in her embarrassment and shame to break off their engagement and go rushing away from Amberley. Where had she envisaged going? Back to Papa? Fortunately, Lord Amberley had kept a cooler head than she and had persuaded her to promise not to make a decision for two or three days. And she would have to back down, of course. It was just one further humiliation to know that he had been more sensible than she.
Even apart from that, though, there was all the embarrassment of remembering what had happened to cause her hysteria. She had expected a kiss like that of the day before. And indeed that was what she had got. It would have ended there had she not chosen to invite more.
What had happened then seemed very unreal to her mind. Her life had been almost totally without powerful physical sensations. The clandestine gallops on the moor with James were the greatest physical exhilaration she had ever known. There was nothing with which to compare her embrace with the Earl of Amberley. It had been an experience so very carnal that the mind had not been part of it at all. She had been all need, all aching, panting need to touch, to explore, and to be touched, to beâ¦possessed. She had wanted him closer, much closer. She supposed she must have wanted that which she knew happened in the marriage bed. But she had never thought of that before in terms of need or desire.
And she could not now. She was repelled by the memory of her own mindless longing. She could not resist stealing surreptitious glances at the earl all evening, recalling that it was with him she had done such things. It was his naked flesh she had felt beneath her hands, his hands that had been beneath her blouse, even beneath her shift, his mouth and his tongue that had so ravished her own, his body that had pressed so intimately against hers.
It was almost beyond belief. In his formal evening wear he looked so remote from her, so refined, so handsome. Alexandra shivered and felt the heat of the parlor close around her.
“May I have the honor, ma'am?” The very dashing Captain Forbes was bowing before her, hand extended, his white teeth flashing in the candlelight. Miss Stanhope was pressing single notes on the pianoforte while Colin Courtney tuned his violin again. Two sets were forming for a country dance.
Alexandra smiled and placed her hand in the captain's.
L
ORD
E
DEN WAS BREATHLESS
at the end of the same vigorous country dance. He had spent precious breath laughing at the elder Miss Stanhope, who had declared when he had asked her to be his partner that she had not danced in ten years but that she would accept anyway and proceed to prove to all who cared to watch that she could keep up to any of the young people. But she had a disconcerting and amusing way of shrieking when he twirled her down the set at the conclusion of each pattern. Consequently, Lord Eden had twirled her harder each time.
“I shall be able to boast to the rector tomorrow and for the next month that I danced tonight with the most handsome and dashing gentleman in the county,” she said, patting him on the sleeve when he had returned her to her seat at the end of the set. “That is, if I ever recover enough breath to live through the night.” The normally prim Miss Stanhope giggled like a girl. Her cap was slightly askew on her crimped curls.
Lord Eden made a suitably gallant reply and looked about him for Alexandra. She had also made one of his set with Captain Forbes and had looked quite handsome with her cheeks flushed and one lock of hair worked loose from her chignon and curling down onto her shoulder. He made his way across the room to her.
“Shall we go in search of a drink, Miss Purnell?” he asked. “There is a bowl of punch in the dining room, I believe, and some lemonade.”
“Lemonade, please,” she said gratefully.
He took her arm. “I thought that Miss Letitia Stanhope's fingers would fly off her hands at any moment,” he said, “she was playing the pianoforte so fast. And poor Colin Courtney looked more as if he were trying to saw through the strings of his violin than to play it.”
She laughed with genuine amusement. “Don't be unkind,” she said. “I must admit to enjoying this dance far more than I liked any of the grand balls I attended in London.”
“There speaks a true country miss,” he said. “You have a good point, you know. The friendliness of a small gathering like this is worth a great deal, is it not?”
“It is all so new to me,” she said.
“Would you care to walk outside for a few minutes?” he asked. “I believe it is quite proper to do so. The garden is small, and it seems to me there must be some other people outside already.”
“The fresh air would be pleasant,” she admitted, and put her arm in his again after he had taken her empty glass and returned it to a tray.
There were indeed a few people strolling on the lawn where he had walked earlier with Susan. “Are you really enjoying this part of the world, Miss Purnell?” Lord Eden asked when they were strolling across a different lawn past small flower beds.
“I like it very well,” she said. “Everyone has been kind.”