The Girl in the Window (22 page)

Ana couldn’t fail to notice the paleness of this young woman her son loved, or see the fingers knotted together. She was fragile, this one, like the wounded birds Josh had brought home as a boy. There was strength there, too, though. Josh had shared what little he knew of this one’s struggle. Ana couldn’t imagine it, couldn’t imagine what it had been like to grow up in a house with such shadows and darkness. Or to be taken from it, and all that she’d known.

She reached out to take the girl’s hands as the rest of the family spilled from the car.

With a small tug, she drew the girl into a hug.

At first there was a stiffness – not unexpected given her history – but then she felt Beth yield to the simple affection.

Ana cupped Beth’s cheek.

“So pretty you are,” she said, smiling. “I can see why my son loves you so much.”

Then the rest surrounded them. Introductions flew, but Beth was anchored by Josh on one side and Ana on the other.

It was hard not to smile to see mother and son together, or to feel a small pang, wishing that someone had loved her that much, too. Harder still and yet reassuring when Ana turned to hold out an arm to her, and the three of them walked into Josh’s house together.

Beth’s eyes stung, but there was no time for such emotion as Russ and the boys came in from their chores.

Suddenly everyone was talking and laughing, people were being greeted, adding to the noise and bustle.

Once Tyler and his mother arrived, the last of the new arrivals, everyone was assigned a plate, platter or tray and the food was carried out to the barn.

Grace was said in different styles and languages, Spanish, Native American, and English, with Tyler chosen to give the blessing after Ana and her sister Lila.

There were two turkeys, Josh and Russ doing the carving, one at each end of the table.

Neither admitted they raced the other to get it done. Not at least until Will, Tyler, and the boys started counting down amidst a lot of laughter.

Everyone talked as they ate, two or three conversations going, fueled by wine among the adults and cider for Tyler and his friends.

Beth wasn’t even aware when she started to feel short of breath, a little too closed in. She was overwhelmed by the noise, the people, the chatter and the clatter. It was all just a little too much. She couldn’t keep up. She fought the growing fear that she would say or do something wrong. It was all so loud. There were so many people. People she loved, but there were so many of them.

It closed in on her.

Everyone was laughing, talking. They were all so happy…

It was like but unlike being home with Ruth, with all the kids around.

Missing Ruth and the other children seemed crazy, but in that moment she did.

She didn’t know what was wrong with her. Fear seemed about to choke her at any moment. She needed to get away, get some air.

Her throat was tight.

A moment came when everyone was talking, laughing. No one was watching her.

Silently, she slipped away.

It had gotten dark while they ate. She hadn’t noticed then, but somehow the darkness was soothing, the crispness of the air refreshing, cooling her overheated skin. Beth wrapped her arms around herself, feeling lost.

She tried to regain some sense of control, to relax and fight the anxiety that threatened to drown her.

“Hey,” a voice said softly.

Josh.

Instinctively, she turned toward him. His arms came around her, his chin resting on the top of her head.

Nothing else needed to be said. He understood.

She held back tears with an effort, but one or two slipped down her cheeks. They were cool in the night air.

Relief washed through her, and with it went the anxiety, the dreadful fear.

Amid the laughter, Josh had seen Beth’s eyes go wide. It had been like watching Fair in those early days. Anything and everything had seemed to set the horse off, both the familiar and the unfamiliar had been threatening.

First, though, there had been the tension, the twitching in his hide, and then the whites of his eyes had become more visible.

With Beth, unable to see her feet – and he smiled a little inside at the thought – it had been her absolute stillness, and how big her eyes had seemed.

Knowing some small part of her history he could understand how so many people had been a little much for her. It had been a little bit much for Tyler’s mother, too, but she didn’t have quite the history Beth had.

Beth was so fragile.

He wrapped his arms around her and gave her the shelter she needed.

From the shadows by the barn door, Ana watched, and her eyes stung. Her heart swelled with pride in her son.

That was her Josh. Always he was taking in the wounded birds, patching them up and setting them free. This one and the horse were the most wounded of all his foundlings, but Beth was so sweet and so brave.

Somehow she didn’t think her son would set this one free. She smiled at the thought as she slipped back into the barn to rejoin the others.

Josh looked down at Beth.

“Better?” he asked.

She looked up at him, nodded, ducking her head.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her mouth twisting as she held back tears, ashamed.

He kissed her forehead. “Don’t be.”

Somehow it was enough, somehow that made it better.

Inside there was pie, and laughter.

Winter settled in with a vengeance. It seemed as if it had snowed almost every day for two weeks. Not much, but enough to coat the ground in a couple of inches. Most mornings found everyone in the kitchen for a hot breakfast. Beth always had something cooking for them, oatmeal laced with cinnamon, raisins and walnuts, or apples. Other days she made a big pan of eggs.

It was still dark when Russ arrived, his big diesel truck rumbling, the headlights cutting through the night.

Animals still had to be cared for, fed, and put out. Beth knew he’d already been out to the fairgrounds to see to the horses there.

Hay had to be brought down, bedding changed, and stalls mucked out both there and at the farm. They had cows, too, for fresh milk, and a half dozen chickens to supply their eggs. There was nothing like fresh eggs for breakfast, Beth had discovered, the taste of them was so much richer than store bought.

Soon the rest of the boys would arrive to help.

Bleary-eyed, Beth set the coffee to brew then scrambled eggs while Josh got the potatoes ready. Wolf was curled in front of the vent, completely blocking any heat from escaping, his thick fur ruffling as it absorbed the warmth.

Settling in at the table, Russ cradled a mug of hot, fresh coffee in his hands.

“I was thinking…,” he said.

Something in his tone made Josh and Beth turn to look at him.

“What do you say to me moving into Beth’s house, seeing as it’s sitting empty? I could take the spare room, pay rent. I was thinking Will could take the bedroom downstairs.”

He didn’t look at either of them; he simply stirred milk into his coffee.

There was silence as Beth looked at Josh.

Josh looked back at her. “It’s your house, your decision.”

In truth, nothing held Beth to that house any longer. She and Wolf spent most of their time in this one. For a time it had been all she had. Now it wasn’t. And it was a shame to see it sit empty.

It was still a big step.

“You don’t want the pipes to freeze and leak, got to keep the water moving through them. It’s just going to get colder,” Russ pointed out.

Somehow the thought of Russ and Will living there, cooking, showering, giving life to the place, felt like an exorcism to Beth, as if the two men would chase away the last of the ghosts who lived there.

It seemed right.

Beth took a breath, seeing the two men living there in her mind’s eye, walking across the yards each morning rather than driving in.

Word was going around town that Russ was seeing Tyler’s mom.

Tyler, though, wasn’t talking about it. It wasn’t surprising. Beth had caught him eyeing Russ speculatively from time to time.

She had no doubt Russ would like more privacy than the room he rented in town. How much of that he’d get with Will there was questionable, but it would give him some, and a chaperone to satisfy the folks in town.

It would work.

She looked at Russ. To be honest she couldn’t think of anyone she’d want there more, except maybe Tyler and his mom. Which might work out anyway.

The thought made her smile.

“Sure,” she said with a smile. “Why not?”

Russ nodded once, sharply, with satisfaction.

Glancing at Josh, Beth saw him smother a grin. She grinned right back at him.

There was a pregnant pause.

Both Josh and Beth knew that Russ would get to the subject in his own time.

Russ forked another few mouthfuls of eggs and toast into his mouth, but he was clearly considering something.

“I was thinking,” Russ said, his big hands cradling his cup of coffee, “that we need to give Fair a jump start.”

Josh stood back and eyed his trainer.

There was no ‘season’ in harness racing. Fair was already making a name for himself in winter races across the Midwest. It wasn’t enough, though, for what Fair was capable of, for what they wanted to achieve. They didn’t have much time, though, for his best years, and Josh was all too aware of that.

“What did you have in mind?”

“It’ll be expensive,” Russ said, his gaze meeting Josh’s.

Russ paused, hesitant.

“I was considering a stakes race.”

They all knew money was tight.

Beth glanced at Josh.

Josh considered it, feeling a weight settle over his shoulders.

It was a constant battle – his dreams over money.

A stakes race would require thousands of dollars, or in some cases, tens of thousands.

Part of him knew that a stakes race was Fair’s only real chance to gain some attention. In the back of his mind Josh ran through his finances, trying to figure where he could free up some money.

Could he get a loan? Would it be worth it, to take that chance? He already knew what Fair was capable of, but it was still a risk. Fair could pull up lame, there could be an accident anytime between now and then. There were so many risks and people depended on him – Will and Tony, Ty and his mother… Could he put his dreams before their lives? Their livelihoods?

“How much?” Beth asked.

Both Russ and Josh turned to look at her, surprised by her question.

Once she’d had a dream of a bed and breakfast, but that dream had been shared with Matt and he was gone. There was also the money her parents had left her.

“For the race I want to enter him into,” Russ said, tentatively, a rare thing for him, “at least twenty-five thousand.”

It was impractical. Her pragmatic father would have hated it.

Beth loved it. Knowing Matt, she knew he’d have loved it, too. After all, if they couldn’t make their own dream come true, then could make this one.

She saw the look in Josh’s eyes, the hope and yearning, his own dream just out of reach.

That expression was mirrored in Russ’s face.

She knew something of Russ now. She knew he went to ‘meetings’ regularly and that it was alcoholism that had destroyed his career as a trainer. At least until Josh had taken the risk of bringing him on once Russ was sober, giving the man a second chance. Not just with Fair, but with Bella, Adagio, and Chord, Josh’s other horses.

It was his moment of redemption.

Seeing that look in their eyes, it wasn’t so hard after all.