The Girl Who Wrote in Silk (9 page)

The memories rolled together, coming faster and faster, then pausing on one image only to flash forward again, pulling her in, soothing her.

The water had taken everyone from her. It should take her too. In the water she’d be with her family again. She’d be away from this lonely ache and living fear that gnawed at her every breath. The water waged a battle and tonight she’d let it win.

Mei Lien wrapped her memories around her body and, ignoring the cold and her trembling limbs, stepped deeper into the water. Step by step she walked until she stood neck deep, her body jerking with uncontrollable spasms even while she felt numb. With her foot stretched forward, she searched for the next step. But instead of rocks, she found only open water. This was it.

“I’m coming, Father,” she whispered as she moved forward and deliberately fought the urge to hold her breath.

The cold water slithered around her and over her head, tugged on her clothing, and pulled her down. She didn’t struggle. She didn’t kick or wave her arms. With her eyes wide open, she sank.

Her lungs ached for breath. She fought the urge as long as she possibly could and then her lungs spasmed, forcing her mouth to open and the water to pour in where air should go. Blackness snaked through her vision and wrapped around her head. She welcomed it, gave herself over to its warm tentacles. She let go.

The next thing she knew, her head broke through the surface of the water and her body heaved, pushing out the salty water between racking coughs. A lingering tentacle from the water monster gripped her stomach, but instead of pulling her into the depths, it squeezed the water from her lungs. Her chest burned; her throat burned; her body shivered and jerked.

She felt her knee bang painfully into a rock and realized she was being dragged to shore. Only then did she realize it wasn’t death’s tentacles that had grabbed her, but Joseph’s arms. Joseph had somehow seen her go into the water, and now he was dragging her out. Again. Saving her from her destiny, keeping her from the fate that had been chosen for her.

He laid her on the rock and shell beach. “Mei Lien, talk to me. Breathe!” He pounded her back.

Her stomach heaved, and she jerked to the side to let its contents empty onto the beach. Water surged from her lungs. She kept coughing until she could once again draw in breath without choking.

The air felt glorious to her lungs but biting to her skin. She shivered, still coughing and spitting out salt water.

“What were you doing out there? You could have drowned.” His huge hands pushed hair out of her face and traced down her limbs, checking to see if she was hurt. The trail of warmth his hands left in their wake brought Mei Lien back into her body from wherever the moon had pulled her.

She sat up and wrapped her arms around herself. The moon still beckoned her into the water but the roadway was fading, pulling away from her, rejected. Rejecting. “You should have let me be.”

“What?” His hands dropped from her body.

“You should have let the water take me.”

He responded with silence, which she took to mean he was thinking it over. The thought that he’d stand idly by and let her die stabbed into her chest so thoroughly she was unable to hold back a moan, only now realizing that a small part of her had believed he cared for her.

But obviously she was wrong. Harnessing her pain, she spit out, “The water is my destiny and you’ve taken me from that destiny twice now. Don’t interfere again.” Before she could think any further about her decision or how wonderful the air felt filling her chest again, she stood up and marched to the water. “
Zài jiàn
, Joseph.”

She stomped in until she was knee deep. Her feet and legs were bruised from the rocks, but soon she would cease feeling that pain, or any pain.

He grabbed her arm and spun her to face him. In the moonlight she saw his face clearly and in it, buried under all that awful hair, she saw something surprising. Fear.

“Why do you want to kill yourself?” He shook her. “Tell me!”

She very calmly met his frantic gaze. “Two weeks ago my family and I were forced from our home by white men and put onto a ship. They said they were sending us to China, but then I—” She broke off, remembering the devil Campbell, remembering he was Joseph’s friend.

Remembering she couldn’t trust anyone. Her head pounded as she searched the trees. “Where is he? Where’s he hiding?”

“The man here earlier? My friend Duncan Campbell? What’s he got to do with this?”

“Where is he?” she asked again, searching the darkness.

“Campbell’s gone. He went home.”

She nodded, believing him for no reason she could identify. Her fear eased enough that when he tugged on her arm, she let him lead her out of the water until they were standing once again on the sharp shells and rocks that made up the beach. Her eyes, however, stayed fixed on the trees, where she knew Campbell could appear at any moment.

Joseph pulled Mei Lien to his chest and wrapped his thick arms around her, his hands briskly rubbing her back and arms for warmth. Tired, she melted into him, drawn by the safety he gave her that she knew she shouldn’t trust but did anyway.

“Do you know the man who came to the cabin tonight?” Joseph’s voice sounded loudly against her ear, drowning out the soughing of the trees and the lapping water.

She nodded against his shoulder.

“Did he hurt you?”

Campbell had never touched her, as she knew Joseph must be thinking, yet he’d hurt her. Hurt her more than a soul could bear.

When she didn’t answer, Joseph asked another question. “How do you know it was him? It’s dark tonight, and when he came to the cabin you were in the other room—”

She pushed out of his arms. “I’m certain. His voice gives him away.”

Joseph nodded, his hands hanging limply at his sides. “I reckon you’re right about that.”

Mei Lien turned to face the water and saw the moon had risen high overhead.

“What did he do to you?” Joseph’s question was as hushed as the forest around them, yet it sent a fresh stab of fear through her, as though remembering that night would bring Campbell back. “He’s my friend. I need to know what he did.”

“I can’t.” She stepped toward the water, knowing it would take away her pain.

“Don’t go into the water, Mei Lien,” his gentle voice implored from right beside her, though he did not touch her. Her feet stopped. “Let me help you. We’ll find a place for you to go where you are safe. I promise. I don’t want you hurt. No more.”

She couldn’t say why, but she believed him. No other white man had shown himself to have good in him, but somehow she believed this one did. She turned her head to look at him and saw confirmation of his kindness in his eyes. He reached for her hand and gently squeezed it.

Still holding his hand, she turned back to look at the water once more, searching for the visions she’d seen earlier that had lured her. All she saw was empty moonlight dancing on the shifting black surface. Whatever spirits had been here earlier had gone. The water didn’t want her anymore.

A shiver racked her body as the night breeze picked up and pushed through her wet clothes straight to her bones. Her lungs felt inflamed, causing another coughing fit to overtake her. When it was over, she felt drained. Joseph’s fire beckoned now.

She took a step toward the trees but stopped to face him again. “Thank you, Joseph,” she said, hoping he understood all that she thanked him for.

He squeezed her hand. “You’re welcome, Mei Lien.”

Thursday, March 4, 1886

East Sound, Orcas Island, Washington Territory

Mei Lien’s cold fingers numbly gripped the sides of the wooden rowboat that Joseph propelled through the waters of East Sound with long pulls on the oars. She stared straight ahead to the channel that would lead them to Orcas Village and the steamer that would carry her to her new life. The thought of stepping onto another steamer sent her belly slamming against her spine. She blinked and refused to think about it, preferring instead to focus on Port Townsend, her destination.

Every night since Joseph pulled her from the water they’d talked about where she should live, where she could work, how she could be safe.

Although she knew she’d never feel safe again.

“You won’t find work on Orcas or any of the San Juan Islands, even dressed as a boy,” Joseph had told her. “Last year the folks hereabouts drove all Chinese off the island and passed a resolution barring the hiring of Chinese.”

Mei Lien hadn’t been surprised. She’d read the newspapers Joseph brought home. It was happening all over the country. With the railroads stretching coast to coast and towns as far-flung as Seattle acquiring a sheen of polish, white folks no longer wanted to share their money or their land with the Chinese whose sweat had made it all happen. “Where can I go?” she’d asked him. Joseph had just shaken his head and poked at the fire, the lines on his face etched deep.

But one morning, after picking up mail at Orcas Village, he returned with a huge grin. “Things aren’t as bad as we thought, Mei Lien. Come.” They shut themselves inside the cabin and Joseph told her the gossip he’d overheard from passengers disembarking from the steamer SS
Dauntless
, which had tied up next to the mail steamer.

“It seems the incident in Seattle caused all Chinese people to flee that city, but they say a new Chinese laundry and a dry goods store owned by a Chinese man opened in the last week and no one is bothering him.” He leaned closer to Mei Lien. “Do you know what this means? You can return to Seattle to make a living.”

Excitement came and went so fast it left an ache in Mei Lien’s head.

She didn’t want to return to Seattle, didn’t want to live there without Father and Grandmother. Alone. Afraid.

“No,” she told Joseph in a voice that didn’t sound like her own. He didn’t know that she was one of the people driven from the city, and he certainly didn’t know that everyone else driven out that day now lay at the bottom of the sea. Seattle would never feel safe to her.

More days passed and then Joseph came to her while she milked the cow as he’d taught her. “It’s time for my monthly trip to Port Townsend for supplies. I go Thursday. You should come with me.”

“Don’t be fooling me, Joseph.” She got to her feet. “I can’t be seen with you. You’d be shunned. And then what would that future wife of yours think?” She smiled to show she was teasing him. He’d told her all about his plans to find a perfect Christian woman to marry and give him as many babies as possible to help him run the farm, all of them growing up to become respected members of the island community. Though she liked seeing the joy his plans brought him, she couldn’t help but think that, with Father gone, she’d lost her opportunity to find a husband for herself. She’d lost her chance to raise children. Her future held nothing but long, lonely years of hard work.

Joseph had laid his palm on her shoulder, sending an increasingly familiar jab of awareness down her body. “No one will look at me twice if they think you’re my servant. My male servant. Especially in Port Townsend. I’ve been asking around. The anti-Chinese unrest isn’t as rampant there.” His hand dropped and he took her place on the milking stool. “We’ll take Beecher’s mail steamer when we go. He was the one who helped me pull you from the water that first night, and he dropped us off on my beach instead of at Orcas Village. Otherwise you’d probably have died. He promised he wouldn’t say a word. We can trust him.”

She patted the cow’s long face and thought it over. “What’s in Port Townsend for me?”

“By all accounts, a strong Chinese community exists there. Maybe you could stay, make a life for yourself.”

“Will I see you again?”

He nodded but kept his gaze on the cow’s teats. “You can bet on it.”

And so, the plan was decided and here they were, three weeks after they’d met, on their way to Port Townsend and the rest of her life. The devil Campbell’s rocky property was already behind them, and she’d seen no sign of him or anyone else. Joseph still did not know the story of what Campbell had done, yet he’d rowed past Campbell’s shoreline as fast as his strength allowed, his watchful gaze darting between her and the land. Mei Lien knew she owed him an explanation but hadn’t yet been able to find the courage required to relive that night.

Joseph maneuvered them out of East Sound and along the southern shore of Orcas Island, keeping close to land and away from the whitecaps that frosted Harney Channel. In every direction she saw numerous other islands, all blanketed with fog that wove through the green cedars and firs and the occasional bare limbs of alder, oak, or red madrona. Sharp, black rocks jutted from deep, black water reflecting the oppressive gray sky overhead.

“Almost there,” Joseph said as he strained on the oars. “Pull your hat lower.”

She did as he ordered, remembering to hunch her shoulders like a boy to complete their deception.

“Remember,” he told her in a low voice, “people will expect me to treat you like my servant. If I’m harsh, don’t take it to heart.”

The fact that he cared about her feelings warmed her body. She peered at him from under the brim of the white man’s hat he’d given her. “All Chinese are treated like servants. I’m used to it.”

The bottom of the boat scraped against pebbles and Joseph jumped out, tying up to a tree on the beach. Without waiting for assistance, for no servant would expect it, Mei Lien jumped out as Joseph had done, ignoring the freezing cold water that grabbed at her feet, and reached back into the rowboat for the satchel of items Joseph insisted she take—extra clothing, a blanket, biscuits wrapped in oilcloth, and two apples he’d stored in the root cellar from his fall harvest. Her father’s coin purse was again safely against her heart beneath the bolt of clean cloth Joseph had awkwardly given to her to bind her breasts.

Soon they were aboard the small mail steamer
Hope
and heading away from Orcas Village and the crowd of people waiting for the passenger steamer to Seattle, which apparently had a schedule but never kept to it, according to Joseph.

“Saw the revenue cutter on my way over from Whatcom,” said the captain whom Joseph had introduced as Herbert Beecher. He glanced back at Mei Lien as if to be sure she was paying attention. As he did, his long, gray mustache bent against his shoulder. “You’ll want to stay hidden if he comes sniffing around during our passage. I assume you don’t have papers?”

His eyes, heavily shadowed by charcoal gray brows, squinted as if in bright sun even though the day was overcast.

Mei Lien looked at Joseph. “Papers?”

Joseph stood against the cramped wheelhouse wall with his arms crossed. His eyes shifted with concern from the water spread before them to her, then back again. “Smuggling from Canada is common in these parts. Wool from Victoria passed off as raised in the islands sells for four times the cost. Same goes for liquor. But ever since the Exclusion Act passed four years ago, a whole new smuggling trade has sprung up.” He gave her a sad smile. “For fifty dollars a head, smugglers are bringing in boatloads of Chinese and dumping them on mainland beaches to find their own way from there. The Chinese pay it—if they get there alive, that is.”

“Now, Joseph, don’t go spreading rumors,” warned Captain Beecher from where he stood manning the controls. “You’ll scare the boy.”

“You’re right, Herbert. They are just rumors,” Joseph conceded as he sat down next to Mei Lien on the cabin’s single bench. “But folks say they’ve heard tell if the cutter comes too close, the smugglers dump their goods overboard, human or not.”

Mei Lien shivered, wrapped her coat tighter around herself, and spent the rest of the voyage looking over her shoulder.

She was exhausted by the time they reached the bustling dock in Port Townsend two hours later, but she knew the hard part was just beginning. As they stepped off the
Hope
, Mei Lien heard Captain Beecher’s quiet advice to Joseph. “If he needs papers, go see the Baron.”

Joseph thanked the captain, then turned to lead Mei Lien into town. “Follow close behind me,” he told her in a low voice. “If we get separated and I don’t notice, call for me—Mr. McElroy, not Joseph. Worst case, backtrack and we’ll meet in front of this building here, the Zee Tai Company. Got it?”

She nodded. “Got it.”

He frowned. “Lower your voice.”

“Got it,” she practically whispered.

His mouth twitched. “No, I mean, sound more like a boy.”

“Oh!” She bit back a laugh, then cleared her throat. “Got it,” she said as low as she could make her voice go.

“Good enough.” Joseph spun on his heel and started toward the main street of town, turning only once to see that she followed.

She managed to keep up, but barely. Port Townsend was alive with activity. At least a dozen sailing vessels, steamers, and tugs were lined up at the docks, loading and unloading. Countless smaller craft, like canoes and rowboats, were rafted together and tied in the spaces between. Once she and Joseph reached the bustling main road, Water Street, Mei Lien saw it was crawling with bearded men moving purposefully along, as well as women in severe black dresses carrying baskets and holding small children’s hands. Pedestrians had to carefully maneuver around horses and carriages. Vendors called out their wares from store stoops and open stands, showing no signs of retreating inside even though drizzle had started falling from the dark mass of clouds overhead.

If she dared close her eyes, Mei Lien thought she might feel as if she were back home in Seattle, on her way to the vegetable peddler or to deliver paper-wrapped parcels for Father.

But she didn’t dare close her eyes or she’d lose Joseph. She quickened her pace to keep up. Without him, she wouldn’t know where to go or what to do. She needed him.

At the thought, her feet stumbled on the boardwalk and a man passing by cringed as though afraid she would grab him.

She needed Joseph. The idea was the most ridiculous thought that had ever entered her mind, yet it was true. In the short time they’d known one another, she’d come to rely on his company and friendship. She felt safe with him, liked him even. He was all she had.

But she could not let herself feel this way because after today she would never see him again. He planned to rush off and find his Christian wife, and she’d be left here to live with people with slanted eyes like herself. It was the way of things.

They arrived at a store three times the size of Father’s, and Mei Lien had no trouble assuming the subdued role of servant. She felt as if the dark clouds overhead had settled into her heart.

“Velcome, velcome, good sir!” came a booming voice from the back of the store. The strange accent forced Mei Lien to concentrate hard on the words. Just as she got it sorted out in her mind, a rotund man wearing a fancy blue suit swept forward and placed his palms on both sides of Joseph’s face, his own split wide in a smile. “I vas hoping you come back to my store. I order twice as many potato seeds, jes’ for you.”

Joseph laughed and extricated himself from the man. “Thank you, Baron. But I only need the amount I ordered, as well as these items.” From his coat pocket he pulled a carefully written list, which he handed to the Baron. “I’ll need all this delivered to the dock first thing tomorrow morning.” He paused and glanced around as if to see who was listening. His gaze settled on Mei Lien for a moment, and he gave a small nod. “And one more thing. It involves obtaining some needed paperwork.”

Mei Lien squirmed as both men scrutinized her. She ached to raise her chin and meet the Baron’s gaze head-on, but she forced herself to play her role. She quickly dropped her chin to her chest and hunched her shoulders again, assuming the position of the unseen servant.

The two men spoke in low tones before the Baron excused himself to go into a back room. Joseph muttered to her that they would wait and so they did, pretending to inspect the spices and grains lined up in large barrels under the counter. Five minutes later the Baron returned. “Here is vat you need, Mr. McElroy. Pay for it ven effer yous feel like it.”

Joseph took the small package and thanked the Baron, promising to pay in the morning when he paid for the rest of his order. He then led Mei Lien from the store.

“Don’t believe a word he says about paying whenever I feel like it,” he told her as they headed down the sidewalk with her two steps behind. “He can get quite demanding if payment isn’t given in a timely manner. Here, put these in a safe place.”

Mei Lien took the package from him. “Papers?”

He nodded. “Papers. You’ll need them before long, no doubt. Excuse me.” He stopped a passing hollow-eyed Chinese man carrying two baskets heaped with squash and mushrooms. “Where is the Chinatown?”

The man replied in Toisanese that he didn’t speak English. Mei Lien stepped forward before either man lost patience, as she’d seen happen numerous times in Seattle. “Please forgive us for keeping you from your important work,” she said to him in his native language. “I wonder if there is an area of this fine town where our countrymen gather to live and work. Is there such a place? Perhaps up the bluff?”

He came alive then, rattling off street names and business names, his chin pointing the way since his hands were both full. Mei Lien thanked him with a small bow, then let him go on his way. “He says it’s here in downtown. On top of the bluff is where the rich white folks build their palaces.”

Joseph’s eyebrows drew together as he squinted south down Water Street, then north. “The only Chinese establishment I’ve ever noticed is the Zee Tai Company. Come, let’s start there.”