The Golden Braid (32 page)

But she could not wait for Sir Gerek to come and rescue her. And Gothel might have given up on Rapunzel ever speaking to her again. She may have abandoned her to die.

The bucket was still attached to the rope and was near the ground. It looked sadly empty. She was so hungry, her stomach had stopped growling. There was only a constant ache in the hollowness.

Rapunzel had already thought about trying to ride down the rope to the ground, but with the pulley wheel, she would fall straight down and break her legs, or worse. She could possibly step into the bucket while holding on to the rope on the opposing side of the pulley, but she did not think she had the strength to bear her own weight, or the dexterity required to climb out of the window and hold the rope simultaneously.

The tree limb near the window was close enough to reach, but it looked much too spindly to hold her weight.

The ruins of a castle stood next to the tower. Apparently the rest of the castle had mostly been made of wood and had collapsed, and the stone tower was all that was left of it. Beyond the piles of wood and the stone foundation was a lake that glistened in the cool spring sunlight.

Perhaps she could climb down the side of the tower.

She hung her head out the window. Were there enough grooves for her toes and fingers? The wall looked quite smooth. But since the mortar was crumbling . . . it might be possible. But the more she stared down from that height and thought about trying to climb the wall, the dizzier she got. No. It just was not possible.

But she wouldn't give up yet. She would keep thinking.

“Rapunzel,” Gothel's voice called.

Gothel was standing at the bottom of the tower.

“I have your favorite fried apple pasties, and also some plum pudding cakes and some fresh water. But I need you to help pull me up in the bucket.”

Rapunzel clenched her teeth. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell her to take her fried apple pasties and her plum pudding cakes and choke on them. She would be completely justified in making all manner of condemning reprimands to this woman who had called herself her mother for the past sixteen years. But she needed to concentrate on escaping. And she couldn't escape if she lost her strength. Besides, she suspected her fever from the day before was caused by not drinking enough water. She did not have much choice. She needed Gothel to survive.

“You may come up,” Rapunzel said.

She watched as Gothel stepped into the bucket and held on to the rope. Gothel was lighter and smaller than Rapunzel. They both pulled on the rope, and she started to rise. If Rapunzel let go, Gothel would go plunging back to the ground. Even though she was furious with her, she had no desire to kill her. Vengeance belonged to the Lord, as she had once heard a priest say.

When she had pulled the bucket level with the window ledge, Gothel took hold of the window casing and stepped onto the window. Rapunzel let go of the rope and helped her inside.

Gothel untied the cloth bag from her belt and gave Rapunzel the food. Again, it was still warm.

“There is a village nearby.” Rapunzel said it as a statement, not a question.

“It is not very near,” Gothel said slowly. “There is a woman I found who cooks very good pasties and bread. She lives outside the village.”

Rapunzel nodded.

“So you are not angry with me anymore?” Gothel said.

“I am as angry with you as I would be with my own birth mother if she had given me poison, forced me from my duties and my friends, forced me to lie in a state of unconsciousness, dragged me into an old tower, locked me away inside, starved me, denied me clean water—”

“Enough!” The black center of Gothel's eyes dilated. “You betrayed me with that knight, Sir Gerek, then sneaked away in defiance so that you could do something great? No! So you could be a maidservant.”

“I betrayed you? In what way did I betray you?”

“You deceived me.”

“So that I could learn to read. You knew I wanted to learn, you led me to believe that you would help me find lessons, and yet you never did.”

“After all I have done for you, would you dare—”

“Yes, after all you did for me, stealing me away from my rightful parents, from my rightful place, from people who loved me and could give me everything.”

Gothel said nothing. Rapunzel tried to slow her breathing and control her thoughts. Becoming angry was not the way to concentrate on making a plan of escape. It was foolish to defend herself to this woman.

“How is your apple pasty? Is it the way you like it?”

Rapunzel refused to answer. She ate slowly.

“I think I can tie our straw mattress to the rope and we can haul it up.”

“Hmm.”

How strange to have a conversation with this woman, as if the woman had not robbed her of her own human dignity. But she had to pretend to be calm so she could keep her mind clear.

After they ate, Gothel walked around the tower room making plans about how to furnish it and make it more comfortable.

“So you expect me to stay trapped in this room, never leaving,
because you wish it?” Rapunzel couldn't stop herself, couldn't stop the breathless, disbelieving tone.

“You left me no choice, Rapunzel.” Gothel's voice was hard. “I didn't want to do this, but you forced me.”

Rapunzel wanted to scream. But she concentrated on breathing slowly.

Rapunzel asked her questions, discovering that Gothel had hired a man from the nearby village to lay the stones and mortar to close up the doorway to the high tower room.

“Did this man see me lying on the floor?” Rapunzel asked, making her voice unemotional and matter-of-fact.

“No, I covered you up. He did not know you were in the room.”

“Weren't you taking a chance that I would die up here? You could not get up here to help me unless I woke up and was strong enough to eat and drink by myself.”

Gothel did not answer. Apparently she had been willing to take the risk. Finally, she said, “Do not think Sir Gerek will come and rescue you. As long as he thinks you are only a peasant girl, only a maidservant, he will not come searching for you.”

Heat rose into Rapunzel's cheeks. She was breathing hard when she said, “I will never listen to anything you say ever again.”

“He does not love you. I am the one who loves you.”

Rapunzel turned and lay down on the hard stone floor, staring out the window at the trees and the sky beyond them.

Later that afternoon Gothel finally said she needed to leave to fetch their mattress. Rapunzel helped lower Gothel down and watched her walk away.

She blinked back angry tears.
O God, help me find a way of escape.

Chapter Thirty

Gerek had not found anyone on the north road who
had seen Rapunzel and her mother, so he struck out to the west, traveling, wandering around for days, which turned into weeks, talking to people, searching the woods, the villages, and the roads.

By the time he returned to Hagenheim, he had been searching for six weeks. His beard was quite long now. He couldn't even bring himself to go to Frau Adelheit and tell her he had failed to find any sign of where Rapunzel might be.

Feeling like a defeated challenger, rather than the champion he had prayed to be for Rapunzel, he went to sleep in his own bed in the knights' barracks. He slept all night and part of the next day. He bathed and went into the chapel.

The stone chapel was lit with candles and the sunlight streamed through the stained-glass windows. He thanked God that it was empty.

Kneeling before the large crucifix, he prayed, “See my suffering, Sovereign Lord. See my affliction. Though it is not as great as your own when you went to the cross, please have mercy and show me the way. My quest is noble. I seek an innocent girl who has been taken against her will. Merciful God, do not forsake me. Do not forsake Rapunzel. Forgive me for being unkind to her at times. Forgive me for not recognizing what an exceptional woman she is.”

He felt a great weight on his shoulders and chest. “O Sovereign
Lord, I wanted to marry Lady Lankouwen. I wanted her for her castle. I wanted to be her defender, but not out of love for her. O God, you know the motives of my heart. I wanted to prove that I was better than my brother. I wanted to be greater and wealthier than he.” It hurt to admit it, but the heaviness on his shoulders lifted a bit.

A verse from the Proverbs came into his mind.
Trust in the L
ORD
with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Gerek had thought his plans were wise. He had thought he understood success and what he wanted. But he had been leaning on his own understanding. He had not trusted in the Lord with all his heart or submitted his ways to God. He'd been wise in his own eyes, thinking he knew what was best.

Rapunzel. She was one hundred times nobler than he had been, and he loved her.

“Forgive me for wanting riches and status more than to give love to a woman who deserves it. I promise, if it is your will, I shall marry Rapunzel and give her everything I am, everything you provide, and I shall begin by giving her my love.”

He meditated on the Savior's love, on how great was the Father's love for his children, for himself, for Rapunzel, and even for Lady Lankouwen, since God surely had another man for her. How much greater was God's love than man's love! How much greater, more perfect, more holy. But God knew man, that he was but dust, that man's love would fail, to various degrees and in various ways.

So selfish was Rapunzel's mother's love for her child. She had forbidden Rapunzel to speak to a man and had made her mistrustful of all men. And when she could not bear to see Rapunzel free and living away from her, she had seized her and fled far away. Gothel must have done something truly atrocious to keep Rapunzel from being able to escape and come back to Hagenheim.

As the day turned into evening, Gerek continued to fast and pray. Eventually, his mind turned to his own father and mother.

What must his mother have felt, being yelled at and beaten by her husband?

He had not cried over his mother's death since he was a little boy, but now, as he continued to kneel before the altar and crucifix, he wept for his mother, and he wept for himself and the guilt, shame, and pain of what had happened to her, of what his father had done, killing her in a drunken rage. He wept for the older brother who had been his hero but who had taken his grief out in anger on Gerek. And he wept for Rapunzel, the courageous young woman who had saved his life, who had gracefully endured his ingratitude and irritability when he had been forced to teach her to read. She was clever and beautiful, and she had no one to protect her from the one person who should love her the most.

Just like his mother.

When Gerek looked up, the crucifix was glowing.

Take the north road toward Thornbeck and listen for my instruction.

The words just seemed to appear in his mind. When no other words came, he fell prostrate on his face. “Thank you, Sovereign God. Worthy are you, O Lord. I thank you with all my heart.”

He stood up, the weight gone from his shoulders.

He went to the Great Hall and found all his friends gathering for the evening meal. They clapped him on the back, asking, “Did you find the girl, Rapunzel?”

If he had expected them to tease him for still looking for a maidservant, he was surprised to see that they seemed genuinely concerned for her.

“After what Frau Adelheit said, we all looked, but there was no sign of her. It was as if she vanished.”

But Gerek had guidance now. He knew where to look, or at least
where to start—the road to Thornbeck. He believed he would get further instruction when he needed it.

He had also decided on a new course that filled him with joy—he would ask Rapunzel to be his wife.

Rapunzel gazed out the window. She still shouted for help sometimes, even though her shouts had never brought anyone. It seemed worth the effort anyway, and Gothel was usually gone all day and only came back at night to bring food and water and to sleep.

Every night Gothel still asked her, “Won't you sing to me tonight, Rapunzel, one of your songs?”

She had not sung a single note or thought of a single verse of song since Gothel had taken her away from Hagenheim.

Rapunzel always answered, “I will sing when you set me free.”

Today Gothel smiled as she was preparing to leave for the day. “I will have another child soon.”

“What do you mean?”

“I am attending a young maiden who is with child. She doesn't want it and says she will give it to me.”

Rapunzel tried to think of something to say. Gothel would do this to another person, the same thing she had done to Rapunzel—poison her against men—and poison her literally if she ever defied her and tried to get away.