The Golden Chance (29 page)

Reed's hand flexed around his beer can. “Maybe you'd better tell me the whole story.”

Nick took another swallow of beer and did exactly that.

Phila was wondering how the golf game was going and contemplating a walk on the beach, when Hilary arrived at the front door. The instant Phila saw who her visitor was, she wished she'd left for the beach five minutes earlier.

“Come on in,” Phila said politely because it was the only thing she could say under the circumstances. “Would you like some coffee?”

“That would be nice, thank you.” Hilary stood for a moment, looking elegantly out of place in the comfortably shabby room.

She was wearing a pair of slim black pants and an austerely cut russet shirt with wide cuffs. A handful of simple gold chains swung gracefully down the center of the shirt.

“Have a seat,” Phila offered as she went into the kitchen.

When she returned she saw that Hilary had chosen the sofa. She was perched regally on the edge so as not to let herself get sucked back into the sagging depths of the old cushions. She examined Phila as she took her coffee.

“It's hard to believe you and Crissie were so close.”

“Do you doubt it?”

“No. Crissie talked enough about you to make me realize you and she had a special relationship.” Hilary paused. “Sometimes I was almost envious of that relationship.”

“There was no need for you to be,” Phila said gently as she took the chair across from her. “Hilary, if I ask you an honest question, will you answer it?”

“I don't know.”

“Were you raped as Eleanor says?”

Hilary's head snapped around sharply. She fixed Phila with fierce eyes. “Yes.”

Phila drew a deep breath as pity welled up in her. “I'm so sorry.”

Almost immediately Hilary had control of herself. “I didn't realize Eleanor had told you so much. She's never told anyone else about that part of it.”

“She was upset.”

“You upset her,” Hilary accused.

“Yes. I…” Phila swallowed. “I'm afraid I hurt her.”

“You're hurting a lot of people just by being here. Don't you think it's time you handed over the shares and left?”

“Probably.”

There was a long silence, and then Hilary said quietly, “He called me cold, you know. Told me I was only a beautiful shell of a woman. He could not tolerate the fact that I did not respond to him.”

Phila put down her mug and clasped her hands together.

“You don't have to tell me about it, Hilary.”

“Why shouldn't I? You're thinking of becoming part of the family, aren't you? Maybe you'd better know a little more about the kind of family you're hoping to marry into. Maybe the truth will make you open your eyes.”

“I don't think you want to tell me this.”

Hilary eyed her sharply. “Perhaps you're right. It isn't a very pleasant tale.”

“Tell me about Crissie instead.”

Hilary hesitated, her expression softening. “Crissie was special. To others she seemed very self-centered. But I understood her. She understood me.”

“I know.”

“I've never been as close to anyone as I was to Crissie.”

Phila nodded.

“You know it all, don't you?” Hilary asked tightly.

“That you and she were lovers? Yes. I did some careful thinking last night, and finally put together what I'd learned about the families with some things Crissie had said about you all. Crissie was discreet and she never would have told me outright about her affair with you. But as I got to know all of you, it wasn't too hard to figure it out.”

Hilary watched her. “You're not jealous, are you?”

“Crissie and I were best friends, but we were never lovers. She knew, even before I did, that we never would be.” Phila took a sip of coffee. “She disliked men intensely. She thought they were all fools, although she occasionally found them useful. She used to say I was hopelessly trapped in my heterosexuality and that it was a damn shame.”
A shame because I wasn't even enjoying it
. Crissie would be genuinely glad to know that Nick had definitely changed that much, at least.

Hilary's mouth curved grimly. “I did not realize why I could not respond to Nick or any other man until I met Crissie. I put Nick off until our wedding night because I was afraid he'd realize he wouldn't ever get the kind of response he wanted. I sensed he would be a physically demanding man, a passionate man. But when I met Crissie, I finally understood. I stopped fighting myself.”

“But you married Reed.”

“Only because of the baby. Reed has never touched me.”

“You're both living rather lonely lives, aren't you?”

“I have my goals. I'm satisfied with them.” Hilary's eyes were intent but no longer fierce. “If you know Crissie and I were lovers then you must know she intended to give me those shares or at least back me at the annual meeting. She knew how important they were to me.”

“But she didn't give them to you, Hilary. Nor did she will them to you. She left them to me, and they didn't come with instructions.”

“Crissie was full of life. She had no way of knowing she would die before the August meeting. It never occurred to her to change her will. She was too young to think about things like that. Neither of us even considered the possibility of her death.”

“I don't believe she would have altered her will, even if she had thought about it. I've told you, Crissie and I were best friends.”

“
But I was her lover
.”

“She'd had other lovers, Hilary. She did not mention them in her will.”

“Damn you, I know she intended for me to have those shares. She told me she did. You have no right to them. Are you so blinded by your infatuation with Nick that you're going to let him tell you what to do with those shares?”

Phila thought about that. “I'm not backing him because I'm infatuated with him.”

“You think you're in love with him?” Hilary softened. “You think he'll marry you?”

Phila shook her head. “It's got nothing to do with any of that. It's a business decision.”

“A
business
decision. You mean he's offering you so much money you can't resist? Did he finally find your price?”

“No.” Phila said. “He was too smart to try. He knew I'd just get spitting mad if he tried to buy me off.”

“What's his secret?” Hilary demanded.

“I trust him to do what's best for the families.”

“You trust him? You're crazy. After what I just told you about what he did to me?”

“You didn't say it was Nick who raped you.”

“Well, it was, you little fool.”

“Was it?” Phila realized her coffee was getting cold.

“Yes, yes,
yes
!” Hilary leaped to her feet, the cup and saucer clattering as she half-dropped them on the small table. “He hurt me very badly. So very badly.”

Phila looked down at her coffee. “I don't believe you, Hilary. In fact, I don't believe you were raped by anyone.”

“Then you're a bigger fool than I thought.” Hilary rushed for the door and then halted abruptly, not looking back. “Just tell me one thing, if you can. I have to know.”

“What do you have to know, Hilary?”

“Why you? Why did Crissie love you so much? You weren't even her lover.”

Phila felt the tears well up in her eyes and begin to course down her cheeks. “Don't you see?” she whispered. “Don't you understand? I was the one person with whom she could lower her guard and take the risk of being kind. I was the one person who wanted nothing from her except friendship, the one person who didn't try to use her.”

“I never tried to use her.”

“Sure you did. Everyone did. Except me. With me she felt safe. But she was wrong, wasn't she? In the end I couldn't protect her, could I?”

There was silence for a long moment before Hilary said very distantly, “We both loved her, but I don't think either of us could have protected her. She was her own worst enemy. How do you save someone from herself?”

Phila blinked back more tears. “I don't know. Oh, God. I just don't know.”

The door squeaked on its hinges as Hilary opened it. “One more thing, Phila. Don't go near Eleanor again, do you hear me? I don't want you upsetting her. She's got enough to deal with.”

The door slammed behind her.

Phila waited until her legs felt strong enough to support her, and then she got to her feet and went into the kitchen. Her tears mixed with the cold coffee as she poured it down the drain.

* * *

There was nothing like the laughter of a child to jerk you out of morbid thoughts, Phila decided later that afternoon as she walked along the path in front of the Lightfoot and Castleton front gate.

Jordan's screeches of excitement echoed across the lawn. She looked through the wrought-iron bars and saw that he was having a great time rolling down a small hill. As soon as he reached the bottom, he picked himself up and ran back to the top to start the process all over again. Cupcake and Fifi were charging up and down the grassy slope beside him, thoroughly enjoying themselves.

Phila stood for a minute, her fingers locked around the bars of the gate. She was aware of a strangely wistful feeling. Before she could properly identify the odd sensation, Jordan spotted her and waved enthusiastically. Then he came racing toward her. The rottweilers trotted after him.

“Hi, Phila. Hi, Phila. Hi, Phila.” Jordan sang his litany of greeting as he barreled toward her.

“Hi, yourself. What are you doing?” She patted the dogs in an effort to fend them off.

“Gettin' dizzy.” Jordan grinned proudly.

“Is that a lot of fun?”

He nodded vigorously. “Wanna try?”

“Not today, thanks. I'm already dizzy. Where's your mother?” Phila glanced automatically toward the Castleton beach cottage as Jordan pointed. She saw Victoria rise from the porch swing and start down toward the gate. “Oh, there she is.” Phila straightened, trying to give the dogs a farewell pat. She was not in a good mood to deal with any adult Castletons or Lightfoots at the moment. “Tell her hello for me.”

“Where you going?”

“I'm just taking a walk.”

“Phila.” Victoria was almost at the gate.

Phila groaned. “Hello, Vicky. Jordan and I were having a chat. I'm out for a walk.”

“Jordan and I will go with you.”

“Yes, yes, yes,” Jordan said, clapping his hands.

Phila wished she had never turned left when she walked away from the cottage. She should have headed straight for the solitude of the beach. “Sure. Why not?”

“Where's Nick?” Victoria let herself and her son through the gate and fell into step beside Phila. Jordan scampered on ahead with the dogs.

“Playing golf with Reed.”

Victoria looked startled. “He is?”

“Yes.”

“They haven't played together in years.”

“It's about time they did, then, don't you think?”

Victoria's eyes narrowed. “Hilary went down to the Gilmarten place to see you this morning. I saw her leave.”

“Uh huh.”

“What did she want?”

“The usual.”

“She tried to get you to give her the shares?”

Phila watched the dogs investigating interesting odors at the side of the road. “That's about the only reason a Castleton or a Lightfoot would bother to seek me out, isn't it?”

“Can you blame us?”

“Nope. Vicky, I want to tell you something. I know your biggest concern is about Jordan's future inheritance. Rest assured that I won't do anything to jeopardize it.”

“If you back Nick instead of Hilary at the annual meeting, you'll jeopardize my husband's future and, therefore, my son's.”

“I think Nick has the best interests of Castleton & Lightfoot at heart.”

“So does Hilary. She might not give a damn about anything or anyone else, but Eleanor's right. There's no doubt she's devoted to the firm.”

“You don't like Hilary very much, do you?”

Victoria bit her lip and called out to her son. “Jordan, come back here. Stop running with that stick.”

“Why don't you like her?” Phila persisted quietly.

“That's not really any of your business, is it?”

Phila thought for a moment. “I'll bet you think the baby was Darren's, don't you?”

Victoria came to a halt and whirled to face her. “You little bitch.”

Phila closed her eyes and then opened them narrowly. “A lot of people seem to think of me in those terms lately. Your husband called me the same thing.”

“He was right.”

“Well, you're wrong. About him, at any rate. Hilary claims she was raped. Darren wouldn't have done such a thing.”

“Any man might resort to rape if he's pushed far enough, just as any man might resort to murder,” Victoria said tightly.

“Hilary didn't push him. Why should she?”