The Good Girls (13 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Ellie

W
hen Cara disappeared, she took a piece of me with her, the piece that held my will to live. I barely ate and refused to get out of bed. I’d never felt so alone in my life. I ignored all calls and messages until one day, there was a knock at my bedroom door. When I didn’t respond, it cracked open.

“How long are you going to avoid everyone?”

I rolled over, shocked to hear Brody’s voice in my house.

“How did you get in here?”

“Your dad let me in.” He smiled as he took a few steps closer to my bed, his eyes dancing around the room. I wanted to correct him and tell him that David was not my father, but it didn’t really matter.

“Really?”

“Why wouldn’t he?” He put his hand on his chest and pretended he was offended. “I’m a good guy.”

“You are,” I sighed and curled into a ball on my side.

“You want to get out of here and maybe get some lunch?”

“Not today,” I tried to give him a small smile, but my lip quivered as thoughts of
her
came flashing back.

“You must really miss Cara.” He wasn’t asking, simply observing. I nodded my head as he walked over to the edge of my bed and sank down on his haunches so he was eye level. “You can’t keep yourself locked away like this, El. It’s not good for you, and it won’t get better if you don’t try.”

“I don’t want to try.”

“Well, you don’t have a choice. I miss you.”

“You’re not missing out on much.”

“You know, that first night at the party when I saw you kiss Cara, I thought to myself, I wish that girl would look at me the way she’s looking at her. Silly, right?”

“That is silly. It was just a stupid kiss.”

His eyes narrowed as he brushed my hair from my forehead. “Because I knew right then that you’d never look at anyone else the way you looked at her. I saw it from day one. And I saw what it did to you on the Fourth of July.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes you do. And it must be really hard not being able to talk to anyone about it. I don’t think Cara had anyone to talk to either.”

“I don’t think Cara gave a shit about anyone but herself.”

He laughed sadly and held out his hand to me. Reluctantly I placed my palm in his and let him pull me to my feet.

“I don’t think that’s true.”

I looked to the ground between us as I felt the tears began to fill my eyes. “Where do you want to go?” I asked as I tugged at my T-shirt.

“Dawn said she has been trying to get you to go school shopping. Maybe I could take you. I’m not good with girl clothing, but I’ll tell you your ass looks great in whatever you try on.”

I smiled for the first time in weeks. I hadn’t given school a second thought. I haven’t given anything a second thought after Cara disappeared.

I ran my fingers through my lilac-scented hair and pulled it up into a messy ponytail before slipping my hand back in his and letting him guide me down the stairs. Dawn and David were in the kitchen talking, and both of their voices cut off as they looked to us.

I tried to pull my hand free from Brody’s, but he held it tight in his as we walked toward them. My heart felt like it was going to explode, but Brody wasn’t afraid at all.

David reached in his back pocket and pulled out some cash, handing it over to Brody. “Make sure she comes back with everything she needs,” he said with a smile, and I couldn’t help but grin back at him.

“Thanks, David.”

“Don’t bring her back too late,” he warned Brody, who assured them both he would take good care of me.

We shopped for hours, and I had nearly everything I needed, thanks to Brody keeping a list of the essentials such as packs of gum and rubber bands to shoot at people.

We ended up in the food court of the mall with bags piled around us. For the first time in weeks, I felt like I was starving, and my cheeks actually hurt from smiling, but I still felt empty inside. I knew it would take time to fill that void, but I was thankful Brody was willing to help me along that journey.

Halfway through my second slice of pizza, I nearly choked on a pepperoni when I noticed Tristan. He looked at me quizzically for a moment before he sauntered over to our table, a blonde tucked under his arm.

“Long time, no see, El.” He nodded his chin toward me, and I struggled to swallow against the lump in my throat. The last thing I wanted to do was talk to Cara’s ex-boyfriend. But when my eyes flicked to the girl under his arm, I felt the insane need to defend her that was now more prevalent than my jealousy toward him.

“Not that long. What’s it been? Three weeks, maybe, since Cara left?”

He shrugged, shifting his stance like I’d made him uncomfortable. Good. “She shouldn’t have lied about her age.”

The girl cocked an eyebrow, and I struggled not to leap over the table and wipe the painted-on arch off her face.

“You’re right about that. She lied about a lot of things.”

“Like what?” He was suddenly very open to listening, and I laughed, shaking my head. It was a little late for him to give a shit about who Cara really was.

“Does it matter anymore? You’ve moved on.”

“Just curious.”

I struggled not to mention the countless bruises she claimed she’d gotten from running into things or falling, but I didn’t have any proof.

“Just leave her alone, Tris.” Brody’s body tensed beside me, clearly over Tristan’s ignorant attitude. I can only imagine how much worse he’d gotten after Cara left him as she did.

“Uh-oh, babe. We’ve upset the kiddie table. We might get a time-out,” Tristan joked to the girl, who laughed at his lame attempt at a joke.

“I wasn’t the one screwing a minor.” As soon as Brody spoke, both of them shut up, their laughter dying at the awkwardness of his comment, which made me begin to giggle uncontrollably. “What’s that old saying? Seventeen will get you twenty?”

“Fuck you, Bro. The only reason you weren’t fucking Ellie was because she was too uptight.”

“Or she was busy stealing your girlfriend from
you
,” Brody shot back and even I couldn’t laugh as the tension grew thick between us.

“Okay, Brody. I think it’s time for us to go.”

“No,” Tristan held out his hand for me to wait as I stood. “What the fuck does that mean, Bro?”

Brody sighed as he looked to me. I just shook my head and relaxed back in my seat, preparing for the worst. “It means, the first night we even took El to a party, your girl shoved her tongue down El’s throat.”

“Bullshit,” Tristan snapped as the girl under his arm took a step away from him, trying to distance herself from the escalating tempers.

“Is it?” Brody cocked his eyebrow as he shoved a french fry in his mouth.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Cara

I
fell back into my old routine at my mom’s house. Even though she had divorced my father a few years ago, he came by nearly every day to help her around the house and spend time with me.

At first it was hard to see Tatum’s house without my stomach sinking, but I’d never gotten a glimpse of her. Rumor had it her parents now homeschooled her, and she was spending her summer at church camp.

I begged my mother to let me get my GED so I could begin working and taking college courses online. She hated the thought of me not getting my high school diploma, and I knew I would regret it if I didn’t.

I’d thrown myself into working, desperate to begin saving money so I could get out on my own. Waitressing was a hard job, and having to rely on tips made me learn to stifle my sarcastic attitude.

When I wasn’t working I would spend every waking moment reading. I didn’t want to suffer through a moment of reality, even though I stared at my cell phone constantly. For the first few days after I left, El texted and called me at all hours until I was forced to send David an e-mail, asking him to let her know I’d gone to live with my mother and I was fine. The sooner she moved on and forgot about me the better.

But forgetting about Ellie was impossible. I struggled to smile every day so my mother wouldn’t think something was wrong. At church I prayed that Ellie would forgive me, and at night I fantasized about what it would be like to see her again. My mind was in constant turmoil, and my heart was broken without her. What I had for her was just a crush. I knew that now, because losing her absolutely crushed me. I’d died inside when I walked away from her.

I’d come back here because I’d had no other option. I refused to let Ellie stand up for me and alienate herself. I needed to make the best of this opportunity to try to build a future that one day I’d be proud to share with someone else.

I wrote a letter in my journal every day to Ellie, even though I knew she would never get to read them. It made me feel like I still had a connection to her, an invisible thread that tugged on my heart whenever I thought of her beautiful face.

When I first met her I wanted help her come out of her shell and learn to live, but I’d learned so much more from her. I felt loved for the first time—truly loved.

I began to log my every thought, plans for the future, and regrets of the past. If Ellie could see me now, she would laugh at me for becoming so much like she had been when we first met.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Ellie

W
ord spreads quickly in a small town, and I started my senior year with a reputation that preceded me.

It began with a look that lingered a few seconds too long before the whispers began. At first I was certain it was all in my head, but it didn’t take long for someone to speak up and let me know that I was going to hell.

By the time I walked into the cafeteria for lunch, I wanted to run out of the school and never look back. Immediately after buying my food, I dumped the tray in the trash and hurried to the bathroom so I could type out a text to Brody.

He reassured me that things would get better over time, and he was right. Every day that he didn’t have a class he would drive me to school, kissing me in full view of my classmates before sending me on my way.

The rumors didn’t stop, but it did quiet them, and I was able to focus on my schoolwork. Having someone in my corner who wasn’t oblivious to who I was made me feel safe for the first time in a long time.

Brody became my protector and my best friend. David was surprisingly lenient when it came to me spending time with him, and I think he was just happy I was no longer lying in bed all day depressed. He didn’t have any idea about the rumors at school but after a few weeks, I no longer ate lunch alone. After a few months I had made friends that I hung out with on occasion outside of school because they enjoyed college frat parties. By the end of the school year, I could talk about Cara without crying because I was smiling at Brody. Unfortunately, my grades and attendance suffered because of it.

Brody and I remained just friends, but after my eighteenth birthday, the line began to blur from time to time. I’d never imagined getting over my first love would take so much time. I’d seen my classmates switch partners more often than they’d switch classes and it didn’t seem to faze them at all. Maybe they were better at hiding their true feelings, as Cara had been.

One thing I learned over time is that I didn’t care what they thought of me. I embraced the rumors and became the wild child they all thought I was. I became Cara McCarthy, and I never felt more alone.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Cara

A
s hard as I’d tried to avoid having to face the world again, I was actually excited for my first day of high school.

The thought of Ellie, studying and working hard, made me strive to be a better person. One day I hoped to be able to show her what I’d accomplished and that it was all because of her.

Going from being popular to being avoided and talked about was excruciating. In my past I would have started a fight or gone out to get high with the guys, but I didn’t have the guys anymore. I didn’t have any more chances. Instead, I dove into my work and studied harder than I had ever studied in my life.

When I wasn’t focused on school, I plotted out what my next accomplishment would be. I could finally envision a future, and I wanted one that didn’t require me to work endless hours and barely able to scrape by. Over time, I realized I wanted to keep my parents in my life. I didn’t agree with their views, but I knew their tough-love tactics were because they were afraid of sending me out into the world where everyone would judge me for who I loved.

I kept to myself and finished out my senior year with the best grades I’d ever had. I worked hard, saving money to buy my own car. It barely ran, but with a little work it was reliable enough to take me to and from work and would be perfect for when I left for college.