The Good Listener (15 page)

I looked around the park.

It was slammed packed with mothers and children, with a few fathers thrown into the mix, but I assumed that most of them were probably working.

I smiled as I thought more about my suggestion to Joel.

Maybe it was time to get this whole baby show on the road.

But since he’d changed his mind, I had to convince him that he was right from the start.

But I couldn’t do that until Blake was out of the picture.

The weather was perfect, and hopefully, a change of scenery would help me out a little.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m not sure.”

The children running and laughing stole his attention for only a moment, and then he walked towards me and sat on a bench.

I sat beside him.

“I never bothered to have a family. I never bothered to try to meet a woman. One that I could love, get married to and have a child with. Not once have I ever really wanted to have a family of my own.”

“Why?”

“I’d never had a real one, so why should I create one?”

“Most people want someone to come home to at night. Someone to love them and keep them balanced. Love can be beautiful if you let it. I’m sure with your current position, status and even with your appearance that women find you attractive, intriguing and maybe even a little interesting; it wouldn’t be hard for you to find someone to love. Who knows, it may help you more than you think. Would it be so hard to give it a try?”

“It’s just no point Hannah. Love is a lie.”

“So you were being completely honest when you said that you’ve never been in love?”

“Yes. I have never ever been in love.”

“So, this woman, your next victim, you don’t love her?”

I was trying to figure out if there was some kind of romantic involvement or obsession.

“No.”

“You hate her?”

He didn’t answer the question.

“Hannah, love does more damage than good. People get married just to lie, cheat, and hurt the people that they say that they love and care about the most.”

“Not all people.”

“Most.”

“It depends on the person Blake.”

“So you’ve never lied to or cheated on Joel?”

“No. Never.”

“And do you think that he’s ever lied or cheated on you?”

“I would like to think that he hasn’t.”             

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you think that he hasn’t?”

“Because I love and trust my husband.”

“People and papers lie.”

What?

Was he trying to tell me something?

“What does that mean Blake?”

“I thought that by now you would have learned to listen with your mind, and not just with your ears.”

He was definitely telling me something that I didn’t want to hear.

Was Joel having an affair?

If so with who?

When?

And how would Blake know?

“How do you know this? He told you? Did you see it?”

“I actually like the color blue too. It’s not my favorite color like it is yours, but it is a beautiful color. I especially like clear, blue water. I remember taking a trip to Hawaii, the first year at the job. I wanted to do things that normal, successful people do, like take vacations. So that’s what I did. I actually enjoyed it. It was my first vacation and probably my last. Growing up I’d never been anywhere; just for fun. I’d never seen anything. No one had bothered to show me the world. For two years my room was actually in a basement. The only time that I came upstairs with the Joneses was when it was time for a visit from the Department of Social Services. I mean, there was everything in the basement that I needed; a bed, a TV. I even had my own bathroom. But I just wasn’t really a part of the family. I was just there. No family activities, I always ate dinner alone. They drove their kids to school but made me stand at the bus stop for the school bus; even when the weather was cold or bad. But they were the only family that didn’t physically or sexually abuse me so I wanted to stay there. I was still alone, but I wanted to stay with them. I wanted to say there because at least there I was safe. But eventually they ended up divorcing and just like that, I was back in the system again. Why is blue your favorite color?”

He was all over the place, and I couldn’t keep up.

Not that I was even trying to.

He’d changed the subject, but my mind was still on my husband.

I was sure that Joel wouldn’t have trusted Blake enough to reveal something like that to him so somehow Blake must have found out.

That’s if he was telling the truth.

But I was learning to listen to him on a level, even in a way that I didn’t even think was possible.

It was almost as though I absorbed his words and with every statement he said, I picked it apart to read in between the lines.

“Love makes me sick. I don’t love anything. Or anyone.”

“There must be something or someone that you love.”

“No. There isn’t.”

“Well, maybe that’s the problem. You said you haven’t felt any real, genuine love in such a long time, if ever before. Maybe that is the key. Maybe that is how to fix you. I have a challenge for you. Instead of shutting out the possibility of loving someone else or being love, find it. Start with dating. Is there someone that you would consider dating?”

“No. Do you really believe that love would save me?”

“It’s a start.”

He seemed to be giving it some thought.

We chatted for a long while.

He revealed more about his childhood and past feelings while with foster parents and group homes.

Some of the things that he had been through were so disturbing that it was a challenge for me to hold back my tears.

He’d had his toes burnt with lighters as a punishment and other horrible things done to him by pretty much everyone that has ever been in his life.

It was just so sad.

I could somewhat understand why he was the way that he was.

I couldn’t imagine going through the things that he’d gone through.

Of course, I’d had plenty of patients that had gone through horrible childhoods as well with drug addicts for parents, rapes and everything else in between.

But for some reason, Blake’s situation really seemed to get to me.

Blake also visited a few things concerning his biological mother and father.

I assumed that once his mother started using drugs and became mentally questionable, his father bailed on them.

The feelings of neglect were clear in his voice whenever he talked about his father, and there was nothing but pain present when he discussed his mother.

He felt as though he hadn't been a good enough son. He questioned what he had done wrong to make them not love him or want him.

And then in an instant, he went from being emotional to merely rejoicing their deaths.

“Wherever they are, I hope they are being tortured just like I was,” he was smiling, but he fixed his face once he noticed my frown.

“Joel talked about you on the phone one day to China. Why did he call you Little Yellow?”

“That’s a little pet name that my family used to have for me. Joel says it when he’s trying to be funny.”

“I never had a nickname. I guess that’s what happy, normal families do huh? Give nicknames?”

“Not really. Not everyone has one.”

“Then where did yours come from?”

“My parents gave it to me. My entire family used to call my mother, Big Red. She’d carried it from a child because of her dirty red hair. My father used to make fun of her so one day she started calling him Big Blue, because of his eyes…and then some time or another they gave me Little Yellow, because of my skin.”

“I guess I did have a nickname too; if you count bastard, or orphan, or maybe mutt; you know, things like that since I was called those things growing up more than my real name.”

“What is your real name? So I can address you correctly.”

“Calling me Blake is fine.”

Blake talked literally for hours after that and by the time we concluded our conversation and looked around the park was pretty much deserted.

“I have to get going. I’m sure that my husband is looking for me,” I said realizing that Joel had probably been home for a while, and I’d left my phone in the car.

He was going to be livid!

I started to walk away, but Blake stayed seated.

He called my name just before I was out of hearing range.

“Hannah?”

“Yes, Blake.”

“She was here. Today, at the park. She was here.”

Who was here?

“Who?”

“Her.”

He said, and he got up and headed towards the pond.

What?

So now he says something!

I looked around and saw no one.

He talked to me until the entire park was clear, just to reveal that part at the end.

I should have known that he was up to something.

An uneasy feeling came over me because if she was at the park that day, most likely she was a mother.

More than likely she was there with her child, and he was planning on taking some innocent child’s mother away from them.

Of course, I couldn’t remember anyone’s faces.

I had been paying more attention to the children than the parents anyway.

I wondered if there was some kind of surveillance of the park.

It was a public place.

There had to be some kind of footage being recorded.

But even if so, how would I get it?

What would I do with it?

There wasn’t much that I would be able to do without involving the police, and I knew that wasn’t an option.

I knew that Blake would run.

He would kill, and he would run.

So it was all on me.

I was all on my own.

I sat in my car for a while once I arrived home to think about my conversation with Blake.

He’d given me so much information in one sitting, and I had to figure out what to do with it.

Timidly, I entered the house, and I already knew that Joel was going to give me a piece of his mind.

I’d had a few missed calls and texts from him once I was in the car, and I already knew that he was going to give me an ear full.

“So nice of you to finally come home. Where were you?”

I sat down my purse.

He was eating pizza.

“I was with a patient.”

“No, you weren’t. I went by the office, and you had left for the day hours ago.”

“We were at the park.”

“The park?”

“Yes. He didn’t show up for his appointment and on my way home, he called and asked if we could have our therapy session at the park.”

“He? Blake?”

“One of my patients Joel.”

I sat on the couch.

Joel threw down the slice of pizza that he was eating.

“Well, one of your patients is going to cause you to lose your husband.”

“Says the man who will barely even touch me. Tell me something. If you aren’t touching me, then who are you touching Joel? Who is she?”

“What?”

“You heard me. I wasn’t born yesterday. I know that you have been having an affair. So, who is she?”

I wasn’t exactly sure if Blake really knew anything, but I was about to find out.

I’d asked Joel the night before if there was someone else but with Blake bringing up the conversation, and then stating that people lie maybe he knew something that I didn’t know.

I didn’t know how he knew it, but something told me that he knew something.

“What are you talking about?”

“Have you been having an affair Joel?”

“No Hannah, I have not.”

Joel started to bite his lip…which he only did when he was lying.

Oh no, so it was true?

Blake had been telling the truth?

I felt as though a hundred or so butterflies were playing hide and go seek in my belly.

My heart started to beat faster and faster, but I knew that I had to keep pressing the issue.

“I already know the truth, so if I were you, I would be honest. Right here. Right now. Tell me the truth Joel.”

Please let this feeling be wrong this time.

I was pushing for an answer that I wasn’t even sure that I wanted to hear.

Joel opened his mouth, and I impatiently waited for what was about to come out of it.

“I’m not having an affair, Hannah. And I never did. It was only one time.”