The Gray Institute (The Gray Institute Trilogy Book 1) (45 page)

'No,' He shakes his head sadly. 'I want to live a peaceful existence surrounded by happiness and people I love. Not suspicion and conspiracy. It's too much responsibility for any one person; the fate of an entire species.'

'Will you change things when you reign?' I ask.

'Change things?' He frowns.

'Make things better?' I explain. 'I know you don't agree with a lot of the goings on both here at the Institute and within the Auctoritas. Will you change all that?'

'It's not that simple. I'll still have my father, and his father and his father watching over me, guiding my every move. It's not as though they're dead and I can do what I like.

But I do hope that over time, I can lift some of the restrictions that bind Immortals so tightly. Sentences rather than an eternity within the Confine, and dependent on the crime. Like the human world. Evidence rather than rumour and suspicion in order to sentence them.

For a superior race, we're medieval in our treatment of our people. Most Immortals come to despise humans, but I admire them.'

I nod, understanding him perfectly, and feel a hope rise in my chest for the Immortal world. Malachy's reign will change history, change the way they live their lives, make it better.

Even if I won't be there to see it, it gives me hope.

'Will you free me?' I ask suddenly, the notion occurring to me. 'If I'm Confined, will you free me?'

'Yes,' He nods, squeezing my hand tighter. 'You have my word on that.'

A comfortable silence envelopes us as we sit on his bed, clutching one another's hands for dear life before the inevitable time comes.

A sinking feeling in my stomach settles as I realise that, when I leave, I'll be leaving very few people who liked me behind. Malachy and Diana are the only people who will mourn their loss of me. My treatment of Tia – though for her own benefit – was harsh and I feel an overwhelming sadness that I won't get to say goodbye to my loud-mouth, bubbly and enthusiastic friend. Nor to Richard, who I hope with all my heart Tia will be happy with for the rest of eternity.

'You do remind me of Aleks,' Malachy says suddenly, jolting me from my thoughts. 'But I know that you're you.'

'What?' I frown. He laughs, his eyes lighting briefly.

'What I mean is; when I look at you, I don't just see her,' He explains. 'I see you, Eve Ryder. A different person. When I first met you it was impossible for me to look at you or talk to you without it being a strain. I even tried to convince Diana not to change you, that you wouldn't make it,' He admits sheepishly. 'But now it's different – I only see you.'

'And?' I smile, tilting my head up towards the light for him to view me in profile. He smiles.

'And you're beautiful.'

My cocky smile fades as I turn to face him, sure that his compliment must have been meant sarcastically, but his blue eyes are sincere and his face is straight.

Before I can reply, Malachy edges towards me, leaning his lips close to mine, watching my eyes carefully for my response to his advance.

His scent washes over me, so distinctive and familiar to me now, his bright eyes fixed on me, giving me all of his attention. It's only in that moment that I realise how much I crave it.

I stay completely still, my breath caught in my throat as he eyes my lips, a mixture of fear and hunger emanating from his body. He's hesitant and unsure of himself and without asking, I know that images of Aleks trapped in the Confine are flashing in his mind.

'I have nothing to lose.' My voice is barely audible, the tension and atmosphere straining it. I'm tottering on the edge of a tightrope, one wrong move could make him pull away. He stares at me quizzically, considering my statement.

Though our frozen bodies carry no electricity, surges pass between us, back and forth, bouncing from one to the other as the air crackles and fizzles in the small, closing gap.

I watch as he fights a mental battle with himself, one half of his mind telling him to kiss me, the other half telling him to hold back. I breathe a sigh of relief as the hesitant side loses and he crashes his lips onto mine. My hands reach instantly to run my fingers through his soft hair, feeling the strands weave like silk across my skin. His lips are smooth, like velvet on mine, his taste sweet and luscious. I tilt my head to him as he places his hands on my cheeks, holding me still as he plants hungry, almost aggressive kisses on my mouth.

With my palm on the back of his neck, I pull him closer to me, allowing his arms to enfold me, hugging me tightly to his chest. Gently and slowly, he leans me back onto the bed, hovering over me, breaking away from my kiss for a moment to look at me.

He smiles, his eyes crinkling at the corners, and a rush of affection hits me like lightning. I reach for him, grabbing his shirt and pulling him to me, needing him as close to me as humanly possible.

With one hand firmly gripping my hip, the other tangled in my hair, he closes his eyes, keeping his lips pressed against mine and I let myself go, losing everything to him.

His scent clings to my skin as I cling to him, his hair brushes my cheek, his strong arms hold me tightly. With each of these sensations I breathe a sigh of pleasure and relief, as though all my pent up stress and anger is slowly dissipating.

The world and all my troubles disappear as I lay entwined with Malachy. He is all I see, feel and think of as he indulges in me.

I realise that all along, this is what I wanted. Not because of some feral, natural instinct towards him, but because I, Eve Ryder, want him.

I want every part of him; his smooth skin, soft hair, strong hands, addictive voice, even his sarcastic alter-ego.

I want him to be mine and mine alone. I don't want to share him, I don't want anyone else to have him, I don't want to leave him. 

I want to stay wrapped in his warmth and pretend, for as long as I can, that he is mine.

'Eve?' His voice is barely a whisper though his lips are next to my ear. My mouth is busy against his neck and I mumble an acknowledgement.

'Eve,' He insists, gently placing his fingers beneath my chin and turning my head to face him.

My concentration broken, I stare at him, watching his eyes change colour from the brightest blue to sea green and back again. It's mesmerising and I stroke his cheek softly with my fingertips.

He hesitates, opening his mouth and closing it, trying to find the right words. A chill of fear shivers along my spine as I wait for him to tell me to leave, that we can't do this.

'I love you.' He murmurs, planting a soft kiss on my lips.

My breath catches in my throat and my stomach feels winded, like I've been punched.

I was not expecting that.

My first instinct is that he's joking, but without asking I know that Malachy wouldn't joke about something like this.

But surely he can't be serious?

I have no doubts that what I feel for Malachy is strong, confusing and intense, but love?

Love is the strongest feeling, the opposite of hate, love is dangerous and sometimes deadly. Love is baffling and stressful enough without the added pressures of mine and Malachy's detailed lives.

Perhaps all the confusion, the daily stress of my task, the escape, the fact that in just a few days Mal and I will have to say goodbye has stirred up feelings within him that aren't as strong as he thinks they are.

Perhaps he misses Aleks too much.

'It's okay.' He laughs, noticing my hesitation before I've had time to compose myself.

'Mal,' I breathe, not sure where to begin. 'We hardly know each other. We've been through a lot together in the last few weeks. I feel a lot for you, and care a lot for you, but...' I struggle to come up with the right words to say. 'You're an Auctorita, and I'm... me.' I shrug, earning a smirk from him.

'Eve, I said it's okay,' He assures me, his voice quiet and gentle. 'I know what you must be thinking. About Aleks, about my vulnerability in what has been a difficult few years for me. But I know what I feel.' He is determined and resolute and it scares me.

A hammering on the door jolts us both back to reality and whilst I fight the urge to jump up and scram, he remains calm.

'Malachy! Open this door right now!' A familiar voice shrieks through the wood.

'Lucrezia.' Mal sighs, sitting up and running his hands through his hair.

'Must be annoying that you can't sense her coming,'

'You think?' He raises an eyebrow, reluctantly sliding off the bed and heading to the door. I stand up, smoothing his bedsheets down and crossing to stand politely in the centre of the room.

She's through the door barely after Malachy has swung it open, eyeing me with fury, her stance aggressive.

'I went all the way to fetch Amber Mayfair, went all the way to Sir Alec's office, only to find that you'd already been and gone!' She snarls in Malachy's direction, her eyes bright with anger.

'Sorry, Luca,' Malachy attempts to soothe her. 'Amber wasn't needed in the end. Sir Alec's orders.'

'So what did he say?' She demands, placing a hand on her hip.

'He won't pursue it further.' Mal shrugs, as though the subject is out of his hands.

'What?!' Lucrezia shrieks incredulously. 'But she admitted it outright! What did you tell him?' She eyes Mal suspiciously.

'That a student had stepped forward and admitted skipping classes. He asked who it was, I told him, and he said that he wouldn't be pursuing her due to her task.'

'Did you tell him she was skipping classes without the safety net of Lorna Gray?' Lucrezia growls, her eyes flashing as Malachy nods.

'He's already pulled her up about it once but he won't do anything because he needs her. She's doing him a favour, he will return it.' Malachy shrugs.

Lucrezia lets out a high pitched noise, a mixture of a whine and a scream before rounding on me.

'I can't wait until you fail in your little mission. When you do, and you fall from Sir Alec's grace, when you're no longer his little pet, I'll be there.' She promises as I keep my eyes down.

'Luca.' Malachy warns, his tone low.

'What?!' She spins to face him, advancing on him. 'Why are you always backing her up, Mal? Are you and Sir Alec in cahoots together or something? Or...' Lucrezia's eyes darken, the ball of green fire burning brighter than I've ever seen.

'Perhaps she's your new toy? A replacement for the old one father managed to get rid of?' She smirks coldly. My heart tugs for Malachy and I have to curl my fists into balls to stop myself pummelling her.

His eyes flash with hurt but he hides it well, keeping his composure, his face neutral. 'Leave it, Lucrezia. Remember what father said.' He growls, his voice menacing, making even my toes shrivel up. Her eyes lighten and a look of panic crosses her face, enough to make me wonder just what her father warned her about.

'I'm waiting, Ryder.' She snarls before crossing to the door, opening it wide and looking to me.

I glance at Malachy who nods slightly, and with a sigh, I exit the room, jumping as Lucrezia slams the door behind me. I hear her screaming at Malachy from inside. The corridor is empty and with a heavy heart I tread its floor, with nowhere to go but back to my lonely room.

I curse Lucrezia for interrupting Mal and I; the thought of his lips on mine sends butterflies to my stomach, weakening my knees and plastering a stupid smile on my face.

The thought of him telling me he loves me sends a shiver of longing and fear down my spine.

I'm not sure how I feel about Mal. I can't deny that I want him physically, that I am attracted to him and that I care about him a great deal.

But I can't say for certain that I love him.

I press the button for the lift and wait patiently for its arrival. As Malachy's door opens behind me, my heart leaps into my throat and he emerges, heading straight for me.