THE GREAT PRETENDER (13 page)

Helen’s eyes bulged. They looked as if they would soon pop out of their sockets. “Kids?
Two
kids? Oh, God…that son of a bitch!”

“Yes,” said Renee on the breath of a sob. Her chest rose and fell with each word. “Two…grown-up…daughters. One’s twenty-one, and the youngest is seventeen.” Even as
she
spoke the words, it was as if
someone else
was saying them. Her entire life had been viciously torn straight down the middle, and her heart hadn’t stood a chance of escaping the split.

“Where’s Denise?” asked Helen, looking toward the archway. It suddenly occurred to her that her niece might be in the house.

Renee blew her nose. “She’s at the McDuffies’.”

Helen gently nudged her head. “Sit up. Come on…sit up so we can talk about this, okay?”

Renee raised her head slowly; it had begun to pound.

“Now, how did you find out about this?”

“Oh, God! He told me! He—” Renee became hysterical again.

“Sis, you’re gonna have to calm down,” Helen interrupted, wiping the flow of tears from Renee’s face. “Come now; calm down and talk to me. It’s all right. Take some deep breaths…Yeah…inhale…exhale…good. Now, start from the beginning.”

“Okay. Okay.” Renee attempted to relax the tense, aching veins in her head. They felt like they were tied in knots. Five minutes passed before she calmly said, “He told me last night. He started by saying that he had no choice but to tell me…what he was about to say. He said he knew that he was about to change my life forever, but that it couldn’t be helped.”

Helen leaned in closer, her face full of anger.

“And then he said he was married.” She threw her arms up and let them fall heavily into her lap. The crying started again. “He’s married to a woman named Tracy. He was married to her when we met, but they’ve only stayed together for the sake of the two girls.” Renee saw the disbelief on Helen’s face and rushed on. “But once the kids grew up, they planned to divorce and he was gonna propose to me. He said he found out Tracy was cheating on him with some other man and he wanted a divorce, but his sister, Thelma, convinced him to stay with Tracy for the sake of the kids. So they wouldn’t grow up without a father.”

“Renee, surely you don’t believe all that gibberish?” Helen exclaimed, her voice saturated in suspicion.

Blowing her nose again, Renee went to stand by the window. She closed her eyes and let the rays of the sun cover her face, a warm stimulant.

“Renee,
please
tell
me
you don’t believe that nonsense,” Helen demanded from the sofa.

“Hel, I can’t lose Reginald. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
I love him.
Now, he says he had to tell me the truth because the seventeen-year-old has leukemia, and he has to go be with her. They want her to feel that everything is normal, you know, to decrease the risk of unnecessary stress. But once they find a marrow donor for her, he’s gonna get his divorce and marry me.” She paused and then added, “And I told him I’d wait for him.”

She saw the astonishment on Helen’s face, but ignored it. “I told him that I could forgive him since he was being so honest now, and that I could wait for…Valerie to get better.” Renee toyed with the lapels of her robe. Opening her eyes, she left the sunlight and returned to the sofa. “God help me, Helen, but I love him. I can’t lose him.”

Helen sighed. She felt for her sister. This was exactly what she and the rest of the family had been afraid of. She remembered her earlier conversation with her mother and chose her words carefully. She didn’t want to fight with Renee anymore. After all, they were sisters, and from what she could tell, Renee needed her now more than ever.

“So you’re willing to wait indefinitely for his divorce. Is that really what you want? Is that gonna make you happy?”

“Of course it won’t make me happy, Helen, but what else can I do if I don’t want to lose him?” She clenched her fists. “I know I’d just die if he weren’t in my life!” Her eyes darted around, looking about the house. “What would anything mean if he was gone?”

“You would not die, Renee. You’d move on just like everyone else who has to.” Helen paused before saying carefully, “Look, I know you don’t want to hear this right now, but for the record, I don’t believe it. I don’t believe that he and this—this wife—are planning on getting divorced. Renee, it just sounds like this is his way of moving you to the back burner. I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t say so, and I’m positive Mom’s gonna agree. We all know how
she
feels about Reginald. I mean…I hate to say ‘We told you so,’ but we did.”

“All right, you told me. But just the same, I can’t turn my back on him. I won’t lose him, Helen.”

“Well, we can’t live your life for you, but I know that I hate to see you like this. If you want my advice, I think you should cut your losses before the other shoe drops.”

“Why do you say that? When his daughter recovers, we’ll be married. The worst that can happen is that it takes a while to find a matching donor, but I believe in him, Helen. He didn’t have to tell me the truth, did he? He could have made up some lie and then left. But he didn’t do that. He loves me enough not to tell me anymore lies.” She paused. “Yes, it does hurt like hell, and it’ll be a while before I get used to the fact that he’s hidden this from me all these years, but I know his intentions and I trust them. And that’s what’ll get me through.”

Helen stared at her sister.
You fool
was written all over her face. How could she be so stupid? Listening to her logic was baffling.
I wonder if I should have a little tête-à-tête with Mr. Brooks before he takes off to reunite with
wifey
down in Miami…

Renee went upstairs to shower and change, and Helen stayed to keep her company. They spoke no more of the situation with Reginald, and both preferred it that way.

They walked arm in arm over to the McDuffies’ town home to fetch Denise. They then pick up Ashley and Brian and spent most of the afternoon perched on the bleachers of
Water’s Edge Park,
watching the kids play volleyball.

They discussed the children’s various schoolteachers, upcoming report cards, and plans for summer vacation, but for the rest of the day neither woman voiced the one topic that remained first and foremost on her mind.

Reginald
felt more
optimistic than he had in months, a
s he drove
through the Hart-Roman gateway that afternoon.

The way was paved for getting his life in order. Once he returned to Miami, they would finally become the family they should have been all along. Even as he sat at his desk in his plush fourteenth-floor office, wracking his brain over projections and evaluations, his thoughts were of home. Miami.

He couldn’t have imagined anything making him question his newfound resolve—until he returned to the town house. Seeing the sadness on his daughter’s face, Reginald was conflicted and ashamed. He was leaving her to grow up without him, without a father to love and nurture her, the way only a father could.

“Daddy? Who’s gonna bring me ice cream when you’re gone?” Denise asked, pouting. Her bright, round eyes were questioning.

Rising from the wicker chair, Reggie knelt in front of Denise. He and Renee were in her bedroom, which they’d painted a bright lime green, tucking her into her sleigh bed.

“Listen, sweetheart, I’m pretty sure Mommy will buy you plenty of ice cream, so don’t you worry.” He smiled. “And I’m gonna try to get back home and see you as much as I can, okay?” He brushed her nose. “Oh, and I promise to have ice cream for my little Denise when I come back, so don’t worry. But”—he raised a finger—“remember, now, bad girls don’t get ice cream, so be a good girl for your mother. Is that a deal?”

“But, Daddy,” she whined, “you know how she says I eat too much ice cream all the time. You and Grandma are the only ones that give me ice cream any time I want it…”

“Okay,” Reggie laughed. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll call to make sure Mommy’s buying ice cream for you. You just have to behave and be good, all right?” Reggie glanced up and winked at Renee, who had been quiet up until then.

“Oh, she’ll be good.” Renee joined in with a smile. “My little Gumdrop is always good. And if she’s a good girl, she’ll get all the ice cream I can buy.”

“See?” said Reggie, standing and ruffling Denise’s unruly curls. “Ice cream problem solved.”

“Oh, Daddy, I’ll be good!” Denise giggled and fell back on the fluffy bed. “I’m a good girl.”

“That’s Daddy’s angel.” Reginald bent and kissed her.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, angel?”

“How long will I have to miss you for?” Her eyes begged for an answer.

Uncertainty filled Reginald. “Oh, honey…I promise I’ll try not to make it too long, okay? And I’ll come home as often as I can to see you. But it all depends on how my work goes. Can you understand that?”

“Uh-huh. I just don’t want to have to miss you too long, because then I won’t get to prove to Mommy that you’ll keep your promises.” She glanced mischievously at her mother.

“Prove to Mommy? What do you mean, sweetheart?”

“You know…when you promise to bring me something home on the way from your work? Mommy always says I shouldn’t listen to you ‘cuz you always break the promise, and she gets really mad—”

“Is that what Mommy says?” Reginald interrupted, his eyes cutting to Renee.

“Yeah,” Denise continued, “so if you’re gone too long, I won’t get to show Mommy how many times you keep your promises—see? She won last time.”

“Yes, I see. Well, in that case, I’ll just have to make sure Mommy loses from now on, right?”

“Right! Because sometimes she wins too much, Daddy, and it makes me sad.”

“Okay, angel, like I said, don’t worry about a thing while Daddy’s gone.” He ruffled her hair again. “I’m gonna take care of everything—even while I’m away—and that’s a promise, all right?”

“Promise?” she questioned eagerly.

“Promise,” he answered. “I love you, sweetheart.”

“Love you, too, Daddy,” she said, smiling.

“Okay, now. It’s time for bed, Gumdrop,” Renee chimed in, though it was clear she’d been embarrassed by the turn in the conversation.

Once Denise was
tucked in for the night, they returned to the living room where they’d all been watching
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
. Reggie removed the disc from the DVD player while Renee went about fluffing the sofa pillows.

Reggie thought it best to ignore his daughter’s comments about the win-lose game between her and her mother—at least for the moment. With his retreat to Miami only days away, he needed another confrontation with Renee like a hole in the head. Despite this resolve, it did bother him that Renee had been speaking to Denise that way about him…

I’m bathing the wrong woman,
he thought twenty minutes later, as he lathered peach-scented bath gel on Renee’s back.

Shit.

He regretted the thought almost instantly.

He didn’t think the guilt could get any worse.

They had retreated to their bathroom to take their nightly shower—a routine rarely missed when they were together. Renee made sure of that.

Over the years, sex with Renee had become so predictable that Reginald wondered what was taking her so long to make the move tonight. He wanted to get it over with; he could barely look her in the eye.

Finally, Renee turned around in the middle of the back rub and began stroking him. He managed to harden under the pressure of her fingers. His eyes grew cloudy. He pinned her to the wall and slid his hand under her thigh, propping her leg on a gold faucet. He was being unusually rushed, but couldn’t stop himself.

Without warning, Reggie lifted his full penis and plunged every inch into her.

“Oh—” she exclaimed, wincing at his harsh entry. Renee was stunned. He must have known she wasn’t ready for penetration. Puzzled, she pulled her head back to look at him, but he had buried his head into the crook of her neck; braced his hands against the shower wall, and begun moving inside her.

What’s going on?
s
he thought, as he skillfully stroked her.

It was never this way. Reginald loved to kiss her…to lick her and rub her until she thought she would die if he didn’t slip inside.

So what was going on tonight? Why was he making love to her in a hurry? Was he upset about what Denise said?

Oh, no. That’s it.

She kept her worried eyes open, watching the steady stream from the showerhead, for the duration of his swift lovemaking. When he finally climaxed, he slumped against her like a two-hundred-twenty-pound running back.