The Greatness Guide, Book 2: 101 More Insights to Get You to World Class (8 page)

People who are outstanding always get found out. The cliché is true: The cream always rises to the top. The best always come to light. And the Great Ones among us can never be held back.

I’m reading a book by my dear friend Richard Carlson, author of
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff,
who sadly passed away a while ago. The book’s called
Don’t Get Scrooged,
and I just finished the chapter “Acceptance: The Ultimate Solution.” Made me stop. And think.

Richard writes, “Acceptance may sound like inaction, but when you try to practice it, you’ll see that it is anything but doing nothing. It sometimes requires more effort than the complaining, confronting or clamming up you would normally do. But … once you experience the freedom it brings—acceptance can become almost second nature.”

Acceptance. Looking for the blessing in disguise amid adversity. Relaxing into whatever situation you find yourself in. Embracing the age-old adage that life doesn’t give you what you want but just might send you what you need (thanks again, Mick). We all get hard days and mean seasons, from time to time. That’s because you and I are enrolled in Greatness School. And challenge, conflict, confusion and uncertainty are beautifully orchestrated vehicles for our growth. But days do get better and seasons always change. By accepting “what is,” the bitter times will be shorter
and your gorgeous days will get longer. And that’s my highest wish for you. Always.

I’m sitting in my hotel room in Karachi as I write this. An absolutely fascinating city. The sounds. The culture. The people. All a wonderful education for me. I’m grateful to be here.

Reading Jhumpa Lahiri’s
The Namesake.
Beautifully written. It prompted an idea: Become a Beautiful Thinker. Commit to making each of your thoughts a thing of beauty. Devote yourself to coming up with stunning insights and ideas and reflections that are outright masterpieces. You’ve heard it a hundred times in as many different ways: You become what you think about. And the thoughts you use become self-fulfilling prophecies. Expect extraordinary things to unfold for you, and they will. The motivators say it. The teachers say it. The sages say it. Ever wonder why?

I think I finally understand why the idea is accurate. It’s not some esoteric philosophy. It’s simple logic. Here we go: The actions you take each day create the results of your life. And since every action you take has been preceded by a thought (thinking truly is the ancestor of performance), what you focus on does drive your reality. British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli said it so well when he wrote, “You will never go any higher than your
thinking.” As a human being you will never act in a way bigger than your thoughts. Dream big and your behavior will follow. Think small and you’ll play small.

This concept cascades through every dimension of our lives. Think people are good and you walk through your days with an open heart. And that very behavior actually creates your reality, because people
do good things for good people.
Think you deserve the best and your actions will reflect that confidence. Better actions will then drive better results. Expect to be world class in your career or within your community and that brilliant thinking will shape the way you work as well as the way you live. And that exceptional conduct will drive exceptional outcomes.

I hope I have been able to express this point clearly. Because I believe it’s a big one that is too easy to neglect. Your thoughts do shape your reality. Your thinking does form your world. What you focus on truly will expand. And what you dwell upon will most definitely determine your destiny.

It doesn’t matter what other people think of you. All that matters is what
you
think of you. We waste so much energy worrying about the opinions of others, wanting to be liked, needing to please. But authentic leadership and real personal mastery are all about rising above social approval—to self-approval. Respect you. So long as you are living by your values, being authentic, running your own race and doing your dreams, why worry what anyone else thinks or feels or says about you? Success isn’t a popularity contest. And at the end of each day, what matters most is whether you were true to yourself.

Bianca, my 11-year-old daughter, is a wise, wonderful and hilarious kid. She wants to be the drummer for Green Day when she grows up. She loves her dog, Max. And when Bianca laughs, the whole world laughs with her. Loudly.

So we are having a great conversation (I spend a lot of time just talking with my kids; I never have my BlackBerry on when I’m with them). She tells me the boys in her class think she’s cool. They love making her laugh. They get that she’s got a big spirit. Then she shares a line that cracks me up: “Dad, all my friends say I’m jokeable.”

So let me ask you a question: How jokeable are you? When was the last time you allowed someone to make you laugh so hard tears streamed down your cheeks? How often do you sit back and giggle at life—even at the messy stuff? (Life’s messy at times, isn’t it; love the messes—your richest growth resides in them.) The best among us don’t take themselves too seriously (no one will take you seriously if you take yourself too seriously). They do their best and then let go, letting life do the rest. Life has its own intelligence.