“No.” His eyes again narrowed to slits. “It’s permanent.” The throb in his voice carried its own haunting tale.
Stephanie pressed her hand to her mouth to stifle her cry. “I’m so sorry, Nikos. I hardly know what to say.”
“Perhaps now you understand why your coming here to tell me you’re pregnant, at the very moment I’ve been dealing with my news, made me go out of my head for a little while. After having to give up all hope of having my own child, I suppose I was afraid to believe you were telling me the truth.”
Stephanie’s lungs tightened while she tried to absorb the revelation. “What was the other repercussion?” She feared it was going to be horrible, too.
“My best friend died in the accident.”
“Kon Gregerov?”
Nikos nodded gravely.
“Oh, no...” She couldn’t hold back the tears. They rolled down her cheeks. He’d mentioned his friend several times while they’d been diving. He’d told her they were closer than he was to his own brother. They’d grown up together and would have done anything for each other.
After such trauma, was it any wonder he’d changed so completely in every way? Other than anger over what life had dealt him, Nikos had to feel dead inside. If their positions were reversed, Stephanie knew her life would look black to her.
“Now that you’ve heard the truth from me, here’s my proposition. I want to marry you as soon as possible, and we’ll live here. It will mean having to give up your job. You can either sell or rent your condo, and put your car and furnishings in storage for the time being.
“It’s the only way I can protect you and the baby. But it wouldn’t have been fair to you if I hadn’t told you I can’t give you more children. Millions of other men can. You need to think about that very carefully before you commit yourself legally to me.”
Stephanie
was
thinking. It was a shock that she was going to have a baby at all. Right now she couldn’t contemplate having more children. Though she knew Nikos wasn’t in love with her, she had proof he’d been deadly honest with her just now. Knowing the only child he would ever have was on the way might give him a reason to go on living.
But there was a part of him that didn’t know if he was the father or not. And she had concerns, too, if a marriage between them was going to take place. She knew so little about him.
“Nikos?” She wiped the moisture off her face. “What is it you do for a living?”
He put his hands in his back pockets. “I used to work for the family shipping business. Now I’m in the process of starting up something new with Kon’s elder brother. It’s a project we used to talk about a lot.”
“What’s his name?”
“Tassos. He’s a good friend, too, and married, with a child.”
“Does it have to do with shipping?”
“No. We’re planning to drill for natural gas in this part of the Aegean.”
She knew Nikos was extraordinary, but to consider such an undertaking meant he was a man with vision. It took away her fear that he may have lost interest in everything, including life. To know he was working on something so vital for his own well-being, not to mention his country, thrilled her. Suddenly all those maps and charts she’d seen in the desk made sense.
“You don’t need to worry that I can’t take care of you,” he said mockingly.
“Don’t be absurd. The thought never crossed my mind. Nikos? Have you ever been married?”
A caustic laugh escaped. “No, although my family has had a girl picked out for me for years now.”
Someone he loved? “You mean a beautiful, well-heeled Greek woman of a good family from your social class. Until I showed up yesterday, were you planning to marry her?”
“No. Natasa wants children. That’s the one thing I can’t give her.”
But he’s given one to me, his only one.
Stephanie’s heart rejoiced, despite the fact she knew he wasn’t in love with her
.
“When the news gets out that you and I are married, she’ll have to move on,” he muttered.
Nikos hadn’t answered her question, but it didn’t matter. Having another woman waiting at home, approved of by his family, explained why he’d never made a commitment to Stephanie on the island. She had enough charity in her heart to feel sorry for Natasa. Nikos was a prize who stood out from every male she’d ever met.
“If I were to agree to marry you, I wouldn’t want a big wedding, Nikos.”
“That’s one area we fully agree on. We’ll have it take place in private, with only Yannis and the Gregerov family as witnesses.”
Alarmed, she turned to him. “Not even your parents?”
“Especially not them.” Stephanie cringed, there was so much heat behind his declaration. “My father and I have been at odds for a long time.”
“Your mother, too?”
“Let’s just say she’s loyal to my father and takes his part in most everything, to keep things civil.”
That’s why Nikos had never spoken of them on vacation. What could have happened to cause such a breach? “I’m sorry.”
He eyed her soulfully. “No more sorry than I am for you to have lived with the hurt your mother inflicted, even if she did it for what she believed were the right reasons. My father justifies his decisions in the same way, without considering the damage. You and I share a common bond in that regard.”
A world of hurt laced his words.
“After we’re married, we’ll drop by the house for a visit and tell them. They’ll come around after the baby’s born. My parents want grandchildren.”
Stephanie eyed him carefully. “Do they know that the accident made you s-sterile?” she stammered.
Frown lines marred his face. “No. To them, children are everything. I don’t ever want them to know.”
She could understand that. If his family pitied him, he’d never be able to handle it. Stephanie was coming to find out what a private person he was. “Have you considered how they’ll feel about me when we’re introduced? I’m afraid they’ll never see a pregnant American woman from a single family, with no father in the picture, as worthy to be your wife.”
His features hardened. “You’re carrying a Vassalos inside your body. That makes you the worthiest of all.”
Her baby was a Walsh, too, but Nikos had his pride, and right now she knew he was clinging to that one bright hope. More than ever Stephanie realized he was planning on the baby being his. Otherwise there’d be no visit to his family, and her marriage to Nikos would be dissolved.
In order to put him out of his pain, she could swear on the Bible that he was the father, so he’d be reassured, but it would do no good. He needed proof.
Last night he’d told her to go below. She’d thought he was just being mean-spirited, because he was angry. But hearing about the boating accident that had cost his friend his life made her realize Nikos was being protective.
He’d been that way with her scuba diving, always watching out for her. It was his nature. She’d found that trait in him particularly reassuring and remarkable, but she still had reservations about marrying him.
“Earlier you mentioned divorce.”
“That’s because we don’t know what the future will bring after the baby is born.”
“You mean you might not want to live with me anymore, under the same roof.”
He cocked his head. “As I recall, you were the one who said that what we had on vacation wasn’t love. I’m just trying to cover every contingency so there won’t be any more surprises. I’d say we’ve both had enough of them since we met in the Caribbean, and need to lay the groundwork if this is going to work.”
Pragmatic
was the operative word. She could hardly breathe. “Where would we live?”
“Because of my work with Tassos, I prefer the yacht for the time being. We’ll dock at various ports so you can go ashore and explore. A little later on I’ll buy us a villa on Oinoussa Island, near the Gregerov’s, where you can set up a nursery. Tassos’s wife, Elianna, and his younger sister, Ariadne, both had babies recently and speak excellent English. They’re warm and friendly. You’ll like them.”
“I’m sure they’re very nice.”
The problem was, Stephanie didn’t speak any Greek. Yesterday she hadn’t known if Dev was even in Egnoussa. Last evening he’d turned into Nikos Vassalos; today he was talking marriage to her. But he wasn’t the man she’d fallen headlong in love with on vacation. That time with Dev could never be recaptured, and she found herself grieving all over again.
Unfortunately, she didn’t have the luxury of shedding more tears. For the sake of their child, it was Nikos, not Dev, who’d proposed to her, in order to give their baby a legitimate name and legacy.
“Any more questions?”
“I’m sure more will come up, but right now I can’t think of any.” She clutched the chair railing. “Is there anything else important you haven’t confided to me?”
He rubbed the side of his jaw. “Yes. If you agree to marry me, then I’ll tell you the rest. But if you would prefer that I set you up on Oinoussa as my pillow friend and a kept woman, so I have access to you when the baby comes, then there’s nothing more you need to know.”
She’d heard the Greek phrase “pillow friend” before. A woman with no claim to the man who provided for her until he tired of her and sent her away. Stephanie couldn’t imagine anything so awful.
“It’s either one or the other, Stephanie, because under no circumstances will I let you leave Greece now.”
Nikos meant it with every breath of his body. As he’d told her earlier, this baby was doubly precious to him now.
How bizarre that she was hesitating, when she’d come to Greece to find her baby’s father and do the right thing for her child. But nothing had gone the way she’d envisioned it. Theirs would be a marriage without love.
“When do you plan for us to be married?”
“Tomorrow.”
So soon! “Isn’t there a waiting period?”
“Not with my contacts.”
Naturally, Nikos knew someone in high places who could move mountains. Of course he did! Stephanie didn’t doubt he could make anything happen, if he wanted it enough. “Where will ours take place?”
“At the small church on Oinoussa, with Father Kerykes, the village priest. He performed Kon’s marriage. The man can keep a confidence and be trusted to honor my wishes.”
Stephanie moistened her lips nervously. At least they would exchange vows in a holy place.
“What’s it going to be, Stephanie?”
As a marriage proposal, it lacked all the passion and romance of her dreams. Without looking at him, she said, “For our child’s sake, I want to marry you to give it your name.”
“In that case, follow me. I have something to show you.”
He left the lounge and walked across the corridor to the locked door, which he opened with a key. It was another bedroom, with two twin beds. “You’re welcome to look in the closet.”
What on earth?
Stephanie stepped past him and opened the double doors. On one side she discovered two military dress uniforms hanging, one was white, the other navy blue with gold buttons and braid. Next to them was a pair of crutches.
When she glanced on the other side, she was startled to discover half a dozen rifles and a special black scuba diving suit, along with a ton of very official looking gear that would be used by someone in the military.
She turned slowly and sought his gaze. “This equipment belongs to you. What does it mean? I thought you worked for your family’s company.”
“I did until I was twenty-two. By then Kon was divorced and we decided to join the Greek navy, much to my father’s chagrin. We were in for ten years, but for the last five we’ve been Navy SEALs doing covert operations for our government.”
That’s why he was such an expert scuba diver.... All those years, Nikos had been fighting for his country. So far every minute she’d spent with him since she’d flown here provided one revelation after another.
“While I was on vacation with you, our unit got called up to do another highly classified mission. Since I can never use my own identity when I travel, and had to leave immediately, the note I left you was the best I could do.”
The memory of that note flashed through her mind.
Unfortunately, I’ve had to leave the island because of an emergency at my work that couldn’t be handled by anyone else.
Stephanie was so stunned, she sank down on one of the beds for support.
“Two days later the enemy ambushed our underwater demolition team. They bombed out of the water the fishing vessel we were using for surveillance. After it was detonated, I saw one of them swim away, before I could warn everyone. Kon died in the explosion. I was knocked unconscious and would have died if I hadn’t been picked up and flown to the hospital.”
“Nikos—”
“At first I was told the injury to my spine meant I’d be paralyzed from the waist down, but slowly feeling came back to my limbs.”
“Thank heaven,” she whispered in a trembling voice.
“The explosion should have taken me out, too!” His own voice shook with despair.
“But it didn’t, and you have to believe there was a reason you survived.”
His grim expression devastated her. “If you can make me believe that, then you’re a saint.”
Anger swept through her. “Kon didn’t leave a child behind, but you did! Think about the fact that you’re not paralyzed. Otherwise your child would grow up knowing you only in a wheelchair.”
He bit out a Greek epithet before he murmured, “It turned out I’d been deeply bruised, but I could walk.”
“You’re one of the lucky vets, Nikos, and it’s going to mean the world to your child that you continue to get better and stronger. Are you seeing a doctor regularly?”
“Yes,” he whispered.
“What about exercise?”
“Among his many jobs, Yannis helps me do mine up on deck.”
“I can help you with them, too.”
“That won’t be necessary, but since you’re going to be my wife, I wanted you to know about my past. Now we don’t ever have to speak of it again.”
Nikos closed the closet doors and pulled her cell phone from his pocket. “Before we make any plans, you need to talk to your boss and tell him you can’t work for him anymore.” He handed it to her. “While you do that, I’ll be in the galley. Come and find me after you’ve talked to him. If I’m not there, I’ll be in the lounge.”