The Green (3 page)

“So where are you gonna go? You can’t just up
and leave and not show up to court. They’ll throw you in jail!” I
slapped him on the shoulder. “God Nando, what the fuck were you
thinking? You deal drugs. It’s illegal.”

“I fucking know that Ariceli. You can’t help
me. No one can help me. I fucked up big time. And now I gotta go.”
He rubbed his hands over his head as fat tears rolled down his
cheeks.

“For real, where are you gonna go?” Despite
the shit he was in, my heart dropped a little. This was my big
brother. I looked away, embarrassed by his tears.

“It’s probably better that you don’t know. I
just gotta find a bag and I can get the hell outta here.” He got up
again and headed toward the closet.

“Hold on.” I went into my room and grabbed a
duffle bag from my closet.

“Here. Just take this.” I shoved it at
him.

“Thanks.” He turned his back on me as I tried
to stuff the mess back into the closet.

“Are you even going to tell Mom?” I
asked.

“I don’t have time to wait for her to get
here and I can’t talk to her over the phone. It’s too
dangerous.”

“Dammit Nando, so now I have to explain to
Mom why you skipped town.” My voice rose. “You can’t just leave
like that. She’s gonna freak out.”

He said nothing. Silent. Typical man, leaving
his family in the lurch. Such a pig. What little pity I’d felt for
him disappeared. I wanted to punch him. Make him hurt like I knew
it would hurt Mom. She would worry and pray for him. I didn’t care
if he left. Good. We could finally have the house back to
ourselves. No Nando. No hijacked living room. No drugs. No asshole
brother. Fine. But it wasn’t that easy.

“You know what, Nando?” I threw one of his
shoes at him. “Fuck you. Go. But don’t ever think you can come
back. You’ve done nothing for us and I’m glad you’re leaving.“ I
threw another shoe, hitting him in the head.

He roared to life, leaping across the room
and grabbing me by the throat. He slammed me against the wall.

“Look, you fucking preppy bitch, you think
you’ve got it all figured out? You’re so high and mighty ‘cause you
go to the good school and you get good grades. You cheer real good
for those white boys. You should be thanking me anyways—Mom
could’ve never afforded this apartment without me, you sell-out
bitch.”

He slapped me hard, my face whipped around.
My neck burned. Fingers pressing. No air. Everything was getting
dark. Shadows formed around the edges of my vision. I tried to
scream but no sounds came out.

“Go fuck your white boys, whore. Maybe
they’ll give you some cash so you can stay at your preppy ass
school.”

One more slap. This time I tasted blood. He
threw me to the floor. Just a pile of garbage. Swift kick to the
ribs.

I lay for a while, sucking air. My lungs were
happy but my ribs were not. Every breath brought fresh, stabbing
pain. I tried not to cry. I didn’t want that prick to think he’d
gotten to me.

I dragged myself back to my room while he
threw things in a bag. My hands found the doorframe and I pulled
myself up, slammed the door, and pressed the padlock into place. It
was a short crawl to the bed. My head was a speeding
merry-go-round. I couldn’t believe Nando was selling drugs so I
could stay at Cambridge, more because he was an asshole than
anything else. He didn’t do nice things for people.

I raised my hands to my face. I didn’t have a
mirror in the room to look at it, but I could feel it was swelling.
My neck was tender. I hoped it wasn’t bruised too badly. There was
no way I could explain this to Mom.

I could see that conversation now. Your son
left town because he’s afraid of the head drug dealer who thinks he
snitched to the cops and we got into a fight while he was packing
and he kicked the shit out of me. Right.

Mom would cry for him (even though he doesn’t
deserve it) and then cry for me and then drink until it didn’t hurt
anymore.

Then I’d be alone to figure it out myself.
Tears slid down my cheeks because my ribs hurt so badly, but I had
no one to call. Mom was at work and couldn’t take calls. Besides I
didn’t want to call there and risk her losing her job over this.
Who else? Naomi? James? I laughed out loud at the thought. Which
hurt the ribs again, so I stopped.

They would struggle to comprehend this hot
mess. In their cookie cutter suburban houses with neat lawns and
flowers on the front porch, they sat comfortable while Mom and Dad
brought home the bacon and bought them nice things. People got
beaten on TV shows, not in their living rooms. I tried not to bring
my friends to the shitty basement apartment in Slate Park where the
grass was brown and no one planted flowers because they couldn’t
afford it. Where we were lucky if we had a parent at all, let alone
one that earned enough money to put Ramen on the table.

Here we put on the fake smile and kept it to
ourselves. We dealt with it. And that was just what I planned to do
right now. Deal with it. In the future, I wouldn’t have to worry
about this shit. I’d have money and a spot on the news, doing my
thing. These bruises would heal and they’d make me stronger. Harden
this brown skin until it was a rock. Unbreakable.

I didn’t want to leave my room until I knew
Nando was gone. I turned on the TV and burrowed under the covers.
My head was full. All I could think about was how to explain to Mom
what happened. Was what Nando said really true? If we couldn’t
afford this place, we couldn’t stay here and our options were not
good. If we had to go back to the city I wouldn’t be able to finish
my year at Cambridge. I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving my
friends. I had built a life for myself at that school and I wasn’t
ready to walk away from it. More tears slipped from my eyes. I
cried for myself this time.

I must have dozed off at some point because
when I woke up later the apartment was eerily quiet. The only sound
was my TV. My eyes struggled to open, the lids felt heavy, like
they weighed a hundred pounds. The neon numbers of the clock blazed
in the dark room, showing eleven in the morning.

My ribs ached. Pain raced through my core as
I rolled to a seated position. Time to inspect the damage. I
removed the padlock. If Nando was really gone, I wouldn’t need this
anymore. I slipped across the hallway and into the bathroom.

The mirror did not show a pretty picture. A
deep purple puff had inflated under my left eye. Dried blood
crusted in a crack on my swollen lip. Little flecks of purpley-red
dotted my neck like an ugly necklace. Dammit. I would have to work
with some makeup and scarves to cover up this mess. I pulled up my
shirt to check out my ribs. A wretched reddish-purple welt ran
along my ribs, heat radiating from my throbbing skin. I wasn’t sure
if they were broken or just bruised. Maybe I could just lie and
tell my mom I fell at cheerleading so I’d have an excuse to have it
looked at. If I could hide the other marks, maybe they wouldn’t ask
any questions.

The rest of the day I puttered around the
apartment, cleaning up Nando’s mess and happy because I knew it
would stay that way. Clean. I finished my homework but shoved the
info from Northwestern aside. Today was not the day to deal with
that. I found a few things in the fridge to make dinner. At least
if I had to tell Mom some bad news, it could be after we both had a
good meal.

$$$

A key clicked in the lock, sucked in a deep
breath, and nearly squealed in pain. I had forgotten about the ribs
for a minute.

“Hi Mom!” I said as she came in. “I made you
dinner!”

“Thank you mija,” she said. I tried not to
cringe as she hugged me. Her light accent gave her voice a musical
quality. “Oh, this smells so good!”

“How was work?” I asked, setting a piece of
chicken on her plate.

“It was fine.” She looked at me oddly for a
moment. “What’s all this, with your face. Did someone hit you
baby?”

“Oh, this?” Dammit. I needed heavier makeup
tomorrow I guess. “Naw, I fell during cheerleading yesterday.”

“Oh, cheerleading. I never thought it was
that dangerous!”

“Mom, seriously, we fly through the air and
sometimes we fall. Or land on each other. Actually,” I paused,
taking my chance, “my ribs kinda hurt from falling. Do you think I
could go to the clinic tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I guess. But the only time I can take
you, you’re supposed to be in school,” she said.

“That’s alright, I can just go in when we’re
done at the clinic. You just have to call me out.”

“Okay baby.”

As she finished her last bite, I readied
myself for the big show. I figured it would be best take out all
the drama.

“Mom, I have some bad news for you.” I played
with my napkin.

“What is it?” She looked up, instantly
alarmed.

“Well, Nando was here earlier, and he packed
his stuff and said he was leaving.”

“Why? Did he say why? Dios, why would he just
up and leave without calling me?” she cried, her voice rising in
pitch.

“Well, you were at work and he didn’t want to
bother you. You know you can’t take calls there.” I kept my voice
steady, trying to ease her hysteria.

“Where did he go? Did he say?” She rubbed her
face with her hands

“Nope. He wouldn’t tell me. He just said he
had to go.”

She grabbed her phone from her purse and
dialed his number.

I could hear Jay-Z singing “Big Pimpin’” from
somewhere in the living room and went to investigate. I finally
found Nando’s Blackberry under a cushion on the couch.

Mom pressed her hands to her quivering lips
and started to cry. “Why would he do that, just go? And not even
take his phone! Now how will we call him?”

God, I wished she wouldn’t cry. It was just
so awkward; I wasn’t sure what to do.

“Look, I’m sure that he’ll call or maybe even
come back for the phone.” I patted her shoulder, wishing I could do
something.

I set it on the table and figured if he came
back for it, he would find it there. I just hoped I wasn’t here if
he did.

“Mom, Nando said something about you needing
money from him. Is that true?” I asked.

She started to cry harder.

“I don’t know what I’ll do. I just don’t make
enough. I don’t know where I’ll get that extra four hundred
dollars.”

I could barely make her words out through the
sobs.

“Aww, Mom, it’ll be okay.” I wrapped her in a
hug. “Look, maybe I could get a job or something and help out.”

“No, mija. You have school and that’s what’s
most important.”

“Well it doesn’t do me any good if I have to
leave here and switch schools. I have to stay at Cambridge. We’ll
figure something out. I refuse to move back to the city.”

But what was I going to do? I guessed I would
have to suck it up tomorrow after school and look for some kind of
job, after I went to the clinic and got my ribs checked out.

The clinic went smoothly—they bought the
story about me falling at cheerleading. Luckily, the ribs were only
bruised and they gave me some giant pills to make the swelling go
down. Now I had to come up with a story that would fly at school. I
really hated lying to people, it definitely wasn’t my thing, but I
wasn’t about to bust out the whole story on them.

“Dude, what happened to you?” James
asked.

I slid into my seat in history.

I guess makeup covered the bruises, but the
swelling couldn’t be covered on my face. Thank god for scarves,
because that seemed to keep him from noticing my neck.

“Aw, I fell yesterday. My brother was moving
out and I was helping him carry stuff out to the car. I’m so
clumsy, I totally stepped wrong and went flying down the stairs.
The box I was carrying landed right on my face.” Lies, lies. But
the fake smile will make it seem real. In all honesty, he couldn’t
even begin to fathom what my Sunday morning was really like. At
least it wasn’t a total lie, I was helping Nando move…

He narrowed his eyes and nodded. “Does it
hurt?”

“Um, a little,” I said. I searched the floor
for something to look at besides his face.

“So, what are you doing after school today?
Got practice?”

“Actually, I think I might go look for a
job.” I breathed a little easier, thrilled that he changed the
subject.

He wrinkled his nose. “Wow, that sucks. When
are you possibly going to have time for a job?”

“I don’t know man, I guess I’ll just have to
try and work it around my schedule.” I fidgeted with my
notebook.

“I was going to see if you wanted to come up
to Village Pizza after school. Some of us are gonna go after
basketball practice.” He raised his eyebrows, gazing at me
expectantly.

Me? James was asking me to go for pizza? Yes
please!

“Who else is going?” It wasn’t really a date
if other people were going, right? Besides, it was a Monday. Nobody
goes on dates on Mondays. So I’m sure he was just asking me as a
friend. Even so, what would Naomi say? I really didn’t think I
wanted to be the first girl he went out with. She’d kill me. She’d
probably think I was plotting on her this whole time. That I had
stayed her friend for years only to wait out their relationship and
get my hands on him. Ooooo, hands on him, that would be nice…

Focus, Ari, Focus.

“Steve, Dave, and Declan.” He counted on his
fingers. “And maybe Belinda, Gina, and Riley.”

“Thanks for the invite, it sounds cool. Maybe
another time.”

There better be another time.

$$$

After school I headed out to the
banana-yellow bus and was chauffeured back to good old Slate Park
with the few other students that joined me for the daily ride. Most
of them were younger, being that all the students my age, even from
Slate Park, had a car.