Authors: Eleanor Hawken
It was her.
The grey girl, running away from the house. Her cloak billowed behind her as she ran as fast as her legs could carry her. Running towards the river, towards
The Lady of Shalott
.
âWhat are you looking at?' Nate moved beside me. His voice had dropped its cocky arrogance and he suddenly sounded concerned.
âYou can't see that, can you?' I whispered.
âSee what?'
I looked across at Nate. His eyes searched mine for answers.
âI can see a girl, running from the house towards the river. She's running for her life. She's untying the boat â¦' I said, as I watched her untie
The Lady of Shalott
. âI just wish I knew what it all meant.' A single tear began to trickle down my face.
âSuzy, you're kind of freaking me out â¦'
âShe's trying to get into it, can't you see?' I began to cry. I couldn't stop the tears. This was it. I was seeing something that he couldn't. She was appearing to me and not to him. I didn't know why. I didn't want this. I wanted the darkness of the spirit world to be invisible to me too. âCan't you see her?' I sobbed.
âSuzy!' Nate took my arm and tried to pull me away from the window.
âNo!' I fought with him as he tried to lead me away. I struggled to see more. I hung on to the window frame and watched, my eyes wide with horror at what I saw.
I'd seen it all before. The girl waded into the water, her cloak spreading out behind her. She pushed the boat further out into the stream and began to climb in. âWhat's she running away from?' I cried, feeling Nate's hands come around my waist as he tried to pull me back from the window. I fought against him. âShe's running away. Look at her!'
Nate's arms suddenly went limp around me. Then I felt his chest rise quickly as he took a sharp intake of breath. He had seen her. I spun around and looked up at his face. His eyes followed her as she began to row herself downstream.
âYou can see her?' I whispered up at him, tears streaming down my face.
He nodded silently. His eyes met mine and he nodded again. âI see her.'
I turned back around towards the window, but she had gone. Vanished into the night.
My whole body shook and my hands gripped the windowsill for support. I'd seen her again. And Nate had seen her too. Now he knew as well as I did, as well as Fiona did, that the grey girl was real.
Nate began to mutter and whisper something in my ear but I couldn't hear him. I wasn't listening. All I could hear was the howl of the wind outside. I felt Nate's arms close around my waist once again, and I let myself sink back into him, my body pressing against his.
The next thing I knew my legs gave way beneath me and I collapsed into his arms.
I woke up still dressed in my school uniform costume, the sunlight streaming violently through my bedroom window. My eyes were swollen and sore, and as I lifted my hand to rub at them I felt something resisting me. There was a pair of strong, warm arms wrapped around my waist, pinning my arms to my side. The arms were pulling me close to a warm, hard body. I could feel breath rising and falling; I became aware of soft exhales tickling the back of my neck.
âNate?' I whispered.
He gave no answer.
Mortified, I tried to wriggle out of his vice-like hold. Memories of last night came flooding back to me. I'd sobbed my heart out to him. Tears and snot had streamed down my face as he'd tried to console me. He hadn't asked me any questions about what we'd seen. He didn't ask me if I'd seen her before or if I knew who she was, if it was the same girl his mother had always spoken of. I wouldn't have been able to answer him if he had asked. All I could do was cry. I cried myself to sleep and Nate rocked me back and forth in his arms as I drifted off. It was the first time I'd ever spent the night with a boy by my side and I'd fallen asleep with snot encrusted on my face. Brilliant.
As the harsh morning sunlight invaded the bedroom I just wanted to slip out of the room and never see Nate again.
Slowly, I managed to prise one of Nate's arms from around my waist. He stirred slightly as I lifted it up and gently crawled out of his grasp. I swung my legs off the bed and sat up, careful not to make any sharp or sudden movements that might wake him.
Nate murmured something in his sleep, and as I stood up I turned around and looked at him. He was fully clothed and sleeping on top of the duvet, lying on his side facing where I had been. I took a moment to study his relaxed features. His hair had grown slightly since I'd first met him â I could tell that it might grow into thick blond curls if he were to let it grow out any more. His skin was perfect, his lips puckered, kiss-like, in his sleep. His eyelids twitched as if he was dreaming. It was the first moment I truly appreciated just how handsome Nate was. And that realisation only made me more feel more mortified about the fact that I'd practically fainted on him the night before and then cried on his shoulder for hours.
I silently pulled out fresh clothes from my drawers, crept to the bathroom, and locked the door behind me. I jumped in the shower and let scolding hot water pour over me until I was numb. When the water started to run cold I got out, dried myself and put on the clean clothes. I stared at myself in the mirror as I brushed out my wet and faded red hair. My eyes were slightly less swollen, but I still looked like something that had crawled out of a nightmare.
With a deep breath, I opened the bathroom door, feeling slightly more human and better prepared to face Nate. The bed was empty. For a moment I thought I'd dreamt the whole thing. Wishful thinking perhaps. As I walked up to my bed, I noticed a page of my notepad had been torn out and written on, the note sitting on top of my pillows.
See you downstairs. I make a mean bacon sandwich.
I smiled to myself as I carefully put the note back down where I'd found it. There was something I knew I had to do before I went downstairs to face Nate. I quickly fired up my computer and logged into my Facebook account. I typed out a private message to Frankie and quickly read it through before pressing âsend'.
Dear Frankie,
It meant so much to have you here the other day. I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you for so long before. You're the best friend I've ever had, and I'm sorry if I don't tell you that enough.
Things here are coming to a close. I can feel it. Everything has changed. And soon everything will be over. I spoke to Fiona â she'd seen the grey girl too. I'm still not sure who she was, and why she's still here â but I'm going to find out if it kills me.
If I never see you again I want you to know how important you are. You're important to me and to the universe, Frankie, never forget that.
Suzy xxx
It was late and the guests had already eaten their breakfast and were busy reading clues and occupying most parts of the house, rendering them out of bounds. Katie and Nell were nowhere to be seen as I came into the kitchen to find Nate pottering around. With any luck no one had seen him come downstairs this morning â who knew what kind of conclusion people would come to if they knew he'd spent the night in my room.
Nate busied himself around the kitchen with his back to me. With one hand he flipped over charred bread under the grill, and with the other he turned the heat down on the stove. I stood in the doorway, silently watching him. âGrab some plates, will you,' he said without turning around. âAnd some ketchup â breakfast is ready.'
I hesitated for a moment, slightly bewildered by the sight of Nate so at home in Aunt Meredith's kitchen, and slightly confused by the fact that he was acting so normally towards me. After what he'd seen last night I couldn't believe he'd still want to step inside Dudley Hall, and still want to be anywhere near me. He turned around and stared at me; I stared back. He raised his eyebrows and lifted the sizzling frying pan towards me. âPlates.'
Swiftly laying the table, I sat down and waited for Nate to join me. He landed a very crisp-looking bacon sandwich in front of me, and then poured a steaming pot of thick, strong coffee into a couple of mugs. It was the first time coffee had ever smelt so appealing to me, and I greedily picked up my mug and blew on it to cool it down.
Nate sat down opposite me and hungrily lifted the sandwich to his mouth and began to devour it. âEat up,' he said with his mouth full. âThat'll get cold.'
âDid you, um, sleep okay?' I asked, not looking at him.
âEventually. You took a while to go to sleep. And you seemed to be having nightmares.'
I closed my eyes, just wanting the kitchen floor to open up and swallow me whole.
I could feel Nate staring at me, as though he was waiting for me to speak.
âI could be bounded in a nutshell, and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams.'
âIt's a bit early for
Hamlet
,
isn't it?' He was smiling at me when I looked up at him.
âYou know
Hamlet
?' I asked, briefly forgetting how humiliated I felt.
âWe studied it in college, it's pretty cool.' He smiled.
âIt's my favourite play. I love Shakespeare.'
âSuzy, can I ask you something?' I lowered my coffee cup and braced myself. âWhen you don't want people to know how you feel you start reeling off lines from plays and poems â am I right?'
I took a swig of my coffee and lowered the cup to my lips, letting it hover there for a moment before I thought of the best thing to say. âMaybe I say those things when I want people to know how I feel but don't know how to put my feelings into words,' I said slowly, choosing my words carefully. I'd never wanted to explain myself before, not really. But for some reason I found myself wanting to be completely honest with Nate. âI have so many thoughts rattling around inside my head, sometimes it's hard to give them shape. Sometimes other people's words are easier to use. And I find them ⦠comforting. It's good to know that other people have seen the world in the same way that I do. It makes me feel as though I'm not alone.'
âYou're not alone,' he said gently, reaching across the table towards me. He took my hand in his and gently stroked the backs of my knuckles. âYou know you can talk to me, don't you?'
I nodded and took my hand away, clasping my coffee cup and bringing it to my lips once again.
âI think I'll go and visit Toby today,' I said quietly.
âDo you want a lift?' he asked, his hand still reached out on the table where I'd left it.
âYes please,' I replied, looking down at his outstretched hand. He suddenly seemed to realise that his hand was still there, and quickly moved it back to his coffee cup. âWon't your mum wonder where you were last night?'
He shook his head. âI told her I was coming here to visit you last night. She knows where I am.' My cheeks blushed at the thought of Fiona knowing that Nate and I had spent the night together in Dudley Hall. I felt a momentary jab of annoyance that Nate might let them believe that he and I were more than just friends.
âI hope you're going to tell them nothing happened,' I said sharply.
âDon't worry,' he smirked, biting into his sandwich. âYour honour will remain intact,' he said through a mouthful of bacon.
âIs your mum really mad with me then?' I asked awkwardly, taking another swig of my coffee. With each sip I was gradually feeling more human.
âWhy would she be mad at you?' he asked, confused.
âBecause I stole her shadow puppet.'
Nate shook his head. âShe doesn't know it's gone.'
âBut you told me â¦'
âI told you what you needed to hear so you'd give it back to me, which you still haven't done. It's not yours to take, Suzy.'
âDid you know that the puppet your mother has is one of a pair?' I said quickly, trying to sidetrack him. âThere's another one. I found it here, in one of the attic rooms. In the room that I saw her in one time. It's a puppet of a woman.'
Nate looked at me and shrugged. âMum has a box of old things like that. Most of them belonged to my grandmother.' I thought of the shoe box that Fiona had pulled the shadow puppet from. âI don't know what that thing you took â the shadow puppet â is for or why she has it. And if you've found another one here at Dudley Hall then I have no idea what that means. It's just junk, Suzy, it probably doesn't mean anything. But for some reason that puppet, and everything else my mum keeps in that stupid box, is important to her. I need to take it back. You can't have it.'
âOkay,' I said quietly. The mention of his mum and the shadow puppet had quickly turned Nate from kind and sympathetic to prickly and cold.
âNow eat your breakfast,' Nate said, looking down at the bacon sandwich sitting untouched on my plate. âBefore it gets cold and before I eat it for you.'
I began to eat my bacon sandwich, soon realising how famished I felt and devouring the thing in a few monster-sized bites. âThat was delicious, thank you.'
Nate sat back in his chair and took a loud slurp of his coffee. âI thought you could do with a descent breakfast ⦠after, you know ⦠last night.'
I looked down at my empty coffee mug, wishing I had more to drink. I placed it down on the kitchen table and rubbed my tired temples with my fingers. âNate, I'm so sorry about last night. I didn't want you to see any of that. I hardly know you â the last thing I wanted to do was cry in front of you like that. And I'm grateful, really grateful that you stayed with me. Thank you. Although, honestly, right now I'm kind of mortified by the whole thing and I kind of wish you weren't here.'
âMortified?'
âYeah, now you know how crazy I am.'
âCrazy?' he echoed. âI don't know about crazy, Suzy. I saw her too, remember? My mum used to tell me about a grey girl who haunts this house. I never believed her. But that was her, wasn't it?' I nodded. âI've never believed in ghosts before.'
âI have,' I said, looking up at him.
âHas this happened to you before?' he asked, leaning forwards and staring right into my eyes.
I nodded, hesitating for a brief moment before I told Nate my story. âI used to go to an all-girls' boarding school,' I said. âMy best friend, Frankie â the girl you saw me with the other day â she and I thought it would be fun to do a Ouija board. We wanted to summon up the spirit of a girl who'd supposedly died at the school hundreds of years before. A girl who everyone said haunted the school. The Ouija board worked, but it wasn't her we contacted. It was another girl. A girl who'd been murdered at the school â buried alive. Once we'd awoken her spirit she wouldn't leave us alone. It was horrible. I thought I was going crazy, no one believed me. It nearly killed me. Frankie was the strong one â she managed to uncover the truth about who had killed the girl. I just fell apart. The doctors all thought I'd gone mad. That's why I was in hospital before I came here. They locked me up for “delusions”.'
âBut they weren't delusions, were they?' Nate said, his voice soft and worried. âWhat you saw was real. This girl, the ghost at your school, she was as real as the grey girl at Dudley Hall.'
âAs real as a ghost can be,' I shrugged. âWhoever she is â the grey girl â she's dead, she doesn't belong here. But where is she when she's not in front of me? Is she watching, invisible in the shadows? Is she sleeping? Is she waiting? Is she nowhere at all, like before you're born? Nate â¦' I said slowly. He nodded, wanting me to go on. âDo you ever wonder if there's any truth to what your aunt does?'
âFortune telling?'
âNo, not that. I mean, do you ever wonder if there's really a way that we can contact spirits of the dead? A dimension beyond our own that some people can access â by tarot cards or Ouija board, or crystal balls â and others can't see?'
âHonestly, Suzy, I'm pretty much a man of science. I believe in what I can see. I believe that when you die, that's the end. No Heaven, no Hell, no coming back and haunting. But then, I guess I've always thought of myself as having an open mind. I'd never judge someone like my mum because of what she believes. I'd never judge you, Suzy, no matter what you told me. And after what I saw last night, I honestly don't know what I believe.'
âIt's all true, Nate. All of it,' I said quickly, not wanting to hold back. âOuija boards and ghosts, tarot cards and seances. It's all real. It's all true. And something terrible once happened here at Dudley Hall, something that no one wants to talk about or try to look into. But whatever it was was so bad that the memory just won't go away. It's haunting this house.
She's
haunting this house. I don't know how to get rid of her, but something has to be done.'