The Ground Rules: Undone (15 page)

I try to keep on living, going through the motions every day, putting food on the table, forcing myself to eat, keeping the house in order, and playing with the girls as much as I can.

When Gabe first comes for the girls, I let Gwen take care of it and go hide somewhere. I just can’t see him. I can’t see his beautiful face and not long to touch it.

Thankfully, the girls have adjusted well. They’re busy with summer and their friends. Chloe is immersed in a series of books about warrior angels — she hasn’t had a chance to miss her daddy too much.

They seem to only ask about him when I tuck them in at night. I think they miss their little ritual (the plane crash bit he does every night). He grabs them and drags them through the air and finally drops them on the bed and makes big crashing noises. They giggle and he wraps them in their cozy blankets, and kisses them on the forehead. I don’t even try to replicate the ritual. It just wouldn’t be the same and I’d probably break my back.

There’s a piece of me missing, a huge void not having him every day in my life. I miss his teasing winks, the funny conversations, the playfulness, the sex. I miss it all. I miss him so much.

Although Weston has told me he would be staying away, he sends me an email, and somehow, it brightens my day. He is very formal in his communications, but I suppose he’s trying to keep an acceptable distance.

Hello Mirella,

I hope you are keeping well. I know you tend to not eat when you are nervous or upset. And as you know, this is not the time for this kind of behavior. I would like to ensure you do the following:

1. Eat a least three healthy meals a day consisting of the four food groups.
   
2. Take a prenatal vitamin every day.
   
3. See obstetrician regularly.
   
4. Limit intake of sugar. There is an increased risk of gestational diabetes in older women. (
   oh no… he didn’t
   )
   
5. Keep an eye on your blood pressure (this should be noted at your regular physician appointments).
   
6. Get a minimum of eight hours sleep every night.
   
7. Avoid stress as much as you can (can elevate blood pressure).
   
8. Avoid sushi, raw fish, tuna, deli meats, alcohol, or too much caffeine.
   
9. Ensure you get an adequate amount of iron in your diet.
   
10. Also, take a prenatal yoga class if you can. It is apparently good for relaxation and blood pressure.
    

Is he for real?

I almost laugh out loud when I read the email. I can’t believe this guy. I don’t dare show it to Gwen, who already thinks he’s an uptight oddball. I suppose I should be touched. He obviously cares about the baby’s health. But I can’t help but be mildly irritated, but this could very well have a little something to do with the pregnancy hormones.

Dear Weston,

Thank you for the very informative email. You will be happy to hear it’s a check on all bullet points. And also, it should be noted that I am aware that alcohol and pregnancy don’t mix… I haven’t been living under a rock. But I’m pretty sure the line of coke I do every morning is cool. : )

P.S. Why don’t you take a yoga class — you obviously need it more than I do.

Dear Mirella,

I can see you haven’t lost your sense of humor.

I also wanted to suggest you stop wearing underwire bras — they can apparently restrict the milk flow from the milk glands.

Dear Weston,

At this point, I don’t believe my breasts are producing milk. And besides, my new boyfriend thinks underwire bras are very sexy.

I can’t believe I’m flirting with him. But I feel like being playful, just for a minute. But if I know Weston, he will not play along — he’s always so serious.

Dear Mirella,

Well, I’m glad your new boyfriend is keeping you occupied. Why, with the drugs and the new guy, you must be having a grand old time.

I also wanted to remind you to keep your calcium uptake up.

As expected, he’s all business. I don’t know what it is, but when he’s being so stern like this, I’m driven to try to break his shell, to loosen him up a little. He becomes a fun challenge.

Dear Weston,

Yes, I am drinking a glass of milk right now. You seem to be extremely knowledgeable in all subjects concerning pregnancy. I have one question for you. I’ve been really horny — is it safe for me to masturbate?

Dear Mirella,

: )))

It is perfectly normal to experience an elevated libido during pregnancy as a result of elevated hormones and increased blood flow to the pelvic area, resulting in engorged genitals. Yes… it is absolutely safe for you to masturbate.

Damn, always so serious.

Dear Weston,

You are starting to really turn me on. : )

Dear Mirella,

I must say goodbye now. Keep well.

I think about Gabe as I read the emails again. I realize I’m behaving rather badly, flirting with Weston. I’m just so confused. My life is excruciatingly frustrating at the moment. I just want to pretend everything is fine. I just want life to not be so complicated, and so serious, just for once.

It’s Saturday morning and Gwen is making Mickey Mouse shaped pancakes again. The girls absolutely love them. She’s spent quite a few nights here in the last little while.

Claire wiggles in her seat. “Do a whip cream bow tie with blueberry polka-dots like last time.”

I smile. “Sorry, demanding little girl, isn’t she?”

Gwen smiles up at me as she slaps three perfectly round pancakes (one large one and two small ones) on the colorful plate. “She’s adorable. I love this.”

“When are you two going to have kids?” I ask, out of the blue. “You’d be a great mom.”

She shoots me a wide smile. “Well, actually, we’ve started trying.”

My spirits lift instantly. “Really? I’m so excited.”

“Yes. I’m thirty-one now, it’s time.”

“If you get knocked up soon, our babies can play together,” I gush. “Wouldn’t that be wonderful?”

She pours two glasses of orange juice. “It would be awesome. We could go on stroller walks together. And shopping for baby stuff, and Baby and Mommy yoga classes.”

The doorbell rings. I tie my housecoat closed and try to fix my hair as I make my way to the door. I hate pop-ins. I especially hate pop-ins when I look like hell. I wonder if it’s Gabe. I do want to see him but he’s not supposed to come until tomorrow. He can’t just be changing things up like this without contacting me first. I curse under my breath.

As soon as I pull the door open, my breath catches as I see Weston’s face. He stares down at the patio stones, not quite looking at me. He’s still bruised up pretty badly, but he looks damn good still, in light grey chinos and a thin navy blue t-shirt. It occurs to me that I haven’t seen him in weeks.

He rubs the back of his neck as his gaze slowly lifts to meet mine, but just for a second. “I’m sorry to just drop by like this,” he says, not quite looking at me. He clears his throat. “I-I just got in my car this morning for a ride, and I ended up here.”

I cock a brow. “I thought you didn’t like to drive,” I say, eyeing the sleek convertible Beamer in my driveway.

“I do occasionally,” he tells me, still standing on my step — I’ve yet to invite him in. “To clear my head,” he explains, “to blow off some steam. I just wanted to check on you.”

I wonder why he’s really here. I wonder how he knew where to find me. But then I remember — his driver has picked me up here so many times. And he’s also had a private investigator following me these recent weeks.

I rub my nose vigorously. “I was just finishing my line of coke,” I joke. “Come in.”

He smiles as he steps in and takes in the space. “So this is where you live? Nice.”

I know my house must seem very common, middle-class to him. “It’s all right.”

He smiles, gazing past me. I look back to see the girls and Gwen standing there, like statues.

“Hi, Weston,” Claire says, her sweet voice breaking the silence. “Nice to see you again.”

He smiles down at her. “Yes, it’s very nice to see you again, Claire. And you too, Chloe,” he adds as his gaze travels to her. She gives him a little nod — that’s all he’s going to get, I’m sure.

Gwen stands there, motionless, a can of spray whipped cream in her hand.

“Hello,” Weston says. “I’m Weston…a friend of Mirella’s.”

“I’m sorry,” I pipe in. “I should introduce you two.”

“I know who he is…” Gwen trails off, mouth still hanging open.

“The spirited Gwen, I assume,” he says with a smile. “Gwen.”

“Gwen Robbins,” she says as she offers her free hand. “Wow, that web picture did not do you justice. You are breathtaking.”

I laugh a little. This is trademark Gwen. She loves to joke around like this with men, whether it be our waiter, the young guy at Gap, or that police officer who graciously dismissed her speeding ticket.

Weston cocks a brow and shoots me a shy smile. I can tell she’s made him a little uncomfortable.

“I think I want to photograph you and paint you,” she goes on, all smiles, “and make a collage with glitter, and hang it over my bed.”

I laugh. “Yes, I’m sure that would go over well with Greg.”

“Greg? Greg who?” she says.

Weston laughs. His wide smile suddenly does very unexpected things to me.

“Oh, and that smile,” she adds. Apparently she’s not quite done with him. “Now it all makes sense,” she whispers in my ear. “How he managed to strip Mother Teresa’s panties off so fast.”

I glare at her and cover Chloe’s ears. “I told you to stop calling me that, Gwen.”

Yes, Mother Teresa, I am
definitely
not.

I look up at Weston who is clearly amused. “I’m sorry. You’ll have to excuse Gwen. She likes to kid around.”

He smiles still. “No worries.”

I want him to stop smiling…because God, he’s sexy when he smiles. I glare at Gwen again. “Go to the corner.”

“Yes, Miss Mirella,” she smirks. “C’mon girls, let’s go eat those pancakes.”

“Please come in,” I urge. “How are you?” I ask. I still feel so badly about what Gabe has done to him, and seeing him still bruised up like this makes my heart sink. “You look awful, still.”

He rubs his chin. “Why, thank you, Mirella.”

“I didn’t…I mean you look good as always,” I stammer, kind of making a fool of myself.

And he smiles, still. And he’s standing a little too close to me. And suddenly I feel a heat rush through me.

He shifts from one foot to the other. “It’s not that bad. My nose was broken but fortunately, it was a clean break.”

“You’ve never broken your nose before?’

He cocks a brow, a hint of a smile lifts the corner of his mouth. “No. Why? Have you?”

“No, but Gabe has had his nose broken four times. That’s why it’s a little crooked.”

He nods, hands in pockets.

I gesture him over as I walk to the living room. I take a seat on the sofa. “Come and sit.”

His movements are slow and measured as he sits down next to me on the sofa, at an acceptable distance. He doesn’t quite look at me and his foot bounces on the hardwood floor.

I watch him as his gaze travels across the living room, to the girls’ pictures on the wall and a few colorful paintings. I’ve tried to make the space as beautiful as I could. Thankfully we have quite the selection of high quality furniture, and the cushions, vases and frames were a steal at Target.