The Guise of a Gentleman (32 page)

Jared.

Disbelief and hopelessness fell over her again.

Glumly, she eyed Grant. “You blame me for your brother’s predicament, don’t you?”

“He vows you were a victim, but no woman is ever innocent.”

He shot such a freezing stare upon her that she held her tongue for the remainder of their journey. And rubbed her hands over her arms.

The hackney stopped in front of an innocuous brick building. Grant surprised her by handing her out. As she stared, he raised a brow, almost looking amused. Almost.

They were admitted into the office, a small room with two windows overlooking the Old Bailey. It seemed ordinary, like a professional office; neat, clean, with crisp wainscoting.

A respectable-looking man with graying hair greeted Grant with familiarity. “Weapons, Mr. Amesbury?”

Grant opened his coat and retrieved a frightening number of guns, knives and daggers, all of which he laid on the desk.

The man lifted a brow and attempted humor. “Traveling lighter than usual, eh?”

Grant fixed him with a cold stare.

The man cleared his throat. “Right. And my lady.” He turned to Elise. “I’m sure you don’t carry weapons.”

Elise opened her reticule and retrieved a tiny pistol. She set it carefully on the table next to Grant’s armory. “Just this one, sir.”

Grant lifted a brow. “You can shoot a gun.” His voice reflected his disbelief.

“Ask Jared how we met, sometime,” she said smugly.

The officer turned to a junior clerk. “Bring the turnkey, please. Who are you here to see tonight, Mr. Amesbury?”

“John Black.”

The officer lifted his eyebrows. “The pirate Black Jack? A friend of yours?”

Without blinking, Grant replied evenly, “I have unusual friends.”

The officer’s laugh sounded more like a cough. “You’re questioning him for a case, right?” Grant waited, giving nothing away and the officer uncomfortably cleared his voice. “Please sign your names here, sir.” He indicated a large book.

After they signed and the officer had also affixed his signature, he put away their weapons. Moments later, a hunched man entered wearing a respectable suit and carrying a heavy ring of keys.

“Show these people to John Black’s cell, if you please.”

The turnkey nodded. “Thi’ way, guv’nuh.”

He led them to a heavy oak gate, bound with iron, and studded with nails. Another turnkey stood guard. They nodded to each other and the second guard opened the gate to a dismal passageway made of stone running parallel to the Old Bailey.

The turnkey led them confidently along a maze of passages, turning at some junctions, passing straight on through others until Elise completely lost her bearings. If she’d been alone, she would have been terrified. She was actually grateful for the intimidating Grant at her side. Heavy doors and guards barred each new corridor. No prisoner could ever dream of escaping.

They followed the turnkey in and out of the shadows along a passageway. Her feet slipped with every step on the damp and slimy stone floor and she had to step carefully. Gloom battled with guttering, smoking candles set too far apart to give any real light. The stench of human waste and sickness nauseated her. Rats scurried at the sound of their footsteps and Elise clamped her mouth closed lest she cry out in alarm.

Beside her, Grant moved like a phantom, his grim presence as unnerving as the prison itself. The smells worsened. She’d never dreamed such filth existed. She nearly gagged, but left her perfumed handkerchief in her reticule, unwilling to show a sign of weakness in Grant’s company. He would no doubt only sneer at her for coming.

Occasionally, a moan seeped from the other side of a doorway, reminding her some wretched soul lived in misery within these walls.

She glanced at Grant. Though his brother had been forced to live here for nearly two weeks, he maintained an expressionless
façade
. He either had no feelings on the matter or was masterful at hiding them.

The turnkey stopped at a door and fitted a key into the lock. The door opened with a squeal, revealing a tiny room lit by a single candle sitting on the floor. A form crouched on a low, narrow cot.

“Grant.” Jared’s voice met them as the shadowy form straightened and stepped forward. “Elise. What are you doing here? Grant! You shouldn’t have brought her.”

Grant held up his hands in surrender. “Brought her? How well do you know this woman?”

Jared’s teeth flashed in the dim light. “What’d she do, point a gun at you?” He turned to her. “Oh, Elise. You’re a vision.” With one stride, he came to her and enfolded her into his arms. He crushed her against him and turned his head into her neck, breathing deeply. “You smell good.”

With her arms wrapped around him, she let him hold her as long as he wished, reveling in the completeness that overcame her each time he took her into his arms. When at last he pulled back, he brushed a hand across the side of her face and smoothed back her hair.

She laid a hand on his bearded cheek. He was thinner, but his eyes were clear and untroubled by fever, and his bruises had faded to a pale yellow. She’d worried he’d been ill and suffering from his injuries with no one to tend him. Seeing him well and whole left her weak with relief.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

She laughed weakly. “I’m not the one who’s been beaten, flogged, and locked in the most inhumane prison in all of England.”

Unsmiling, he put a hand on each side of her face and looked at her searchingly. “Did the navy captain mistreat you?”

“No. He was a gentleman. He brought me untouched to London, and arranged lodging for me until I could return home. I’m staying with Charles and Charlotte Greymore here in town.”

“I’m glad they’re helping you. How’s Colin?”

“He’s well. I brought him with me. I couldn’t bear to be separated from him again. And we’re visiting the museums and the zoo. He sees it all as a great adventure. We even took a hot air balloon ride at Hyde Park.”

“I bet he loved it.”

“He did. I felt terribly guilty engaging in such diverting activities with you in here, but I was trying not to let Colin know anything was amiss.” She drew a breath. “He misses you. He asks about you often. I don’t know what to tell him.” She glanced back at Grant who stood stiffly, arms folded, scowling out of the narrow, barred window.

Jared pulled her in close again. He kissed her in long, lingering kisses that left her breathless. His fingers traced her face, his lips following behind. Then he just held her.

Elise would have given anything to remain in his arms forever.

“A few more lessons, and you’ll be a skilled kisser, Mrs. Berkley.” His attempt to lighten the somber mood made her determined to play along.

She smiled, probably too brightly. “I look forward to more kissing lessons from you, Mr. Amesbury.”

He grinned. “So happy to oblige.”

He drew her in for a kiss again, playful at first, but becoming more desperate. His imminent death loomed over them and their passion grew, fueled by desperation and fear. A tremor ran through his body. He broke the kiss and crushed her against him.

“I love you,” she whispered raggedly.

He let his breath out and shivered. “I thought I’d die before I heard you say that.”

“I loved you aboard the ship. I loved you before then. I think I’ve loved you since that first scandalous kiss.”

He gathered her in closer and rested the side of his face on top of her head. “Oh, Elise, I never thought I’d love anyone so deeply. If I manage to get free of this place, I’m going to throw you over my shoulder and carry you off to the nearest parson.”

“Is that a marriage proposal, Mr. Amesbury?”

“No. Not giving you a choice.”

She laughed softly even through her threatening tears. “Fortunate for you I want to marry you or I might give you a spot of trouble. I’m a pretty good shot, you know. Deadly with candlesticks, as well.”

He chuckled but sobered quickly and pulled back enough to search her eyes. “Will you have me?”

“Yes. Come out of this alive and I will gladly be your wife.”

“Are you just saying that because you know I’m condemned?”

“No, indeed. If you’d asked me on your ship, my answer would have been the same.”

He raised his brows in surprise. “In truth? Even when you thought I was a pirate?”

“Even then. I knew you were a good man caught in bad circumstances. Each time you ceased playing a role and showed me the man you are underneath, I couldn’t help but love that man even more.”

He paused. “The man underneath?”

“A man of honor and decency and gentleness and strength. A man I love.”

Jared closed his eyes. “As an operative, I donned so many disguises, played so many roles ….” he stared at a fixed point behind her, seeing another life. “I feared once I dropped all guises, there’d be no one left.”

She tightened her arms around him. “There is someone left. And he’s the one I love.”

“I killed a lot of men, Elise. I terrorized many others.”

“You had no choice. It was a war, first against the French, then against the pirates, and you fought it for your country. Sometimes it’s easier to forgive others than to forgive yourself. Let it go. I already have. And I loved the irrepressible pirate, as well.”

“You bring out the best in me. I want to be a better man when I’m with you. You make me want to live by a higher code of honor.” He drew a breath, his heartbeat steady against her. His voice hushed. “And I can be completely relaxed with you. It’s like coming home. You’ve helped me find myself. You saved me, my angel.”

She slipped her fingers into his hair and pulled his mouth down on hers, trying to prove to him with her kiss all the tenderness and passion in her heart.

He returned her kisses with a fierceness that might have frightened her a few weeks ago. Now it only made her want him more. How desperately she wanted to free him and make a place for him in her life! She rested her cheek against his chest, wishing for his freedom, wishing for a future with him.

“Are you two finished?” Grant’s snide tone boomed.

Elise blushed. She’d actually forgotten Grant was still in the room. She was more surprised he’d remained silent for so long. He seemed the type to interject derogatory comments during such a tender encounter.

“If you ever fall in love, I’m going to give you such grief,” Jared threatened.

Grant made a sound somewhere between a cough and a choke. “I’ll shoot my own foot before I’ll ever fall in love.”

The brothers exchanged a long look, Grant’s expression transforming from sarcasm to distress. Jared’s hands tightened on Elise’s shoulders as his gaze locked with his brother.

Elise could almost hear them thinking Jared might not live long enough to ever tease his brother again. She swallowed a lump.

Grant hardened again and turned his back the same time Jared looked away. Jared kissed her again with a note of finality.

“Take Colin and go home. Stay away from the square Monday.”

Elise nodded, biting her lip to hold back her tears. She couldn’t bear the thought of not being there for his last moment, yet couldn’t imagine being at the site of his death. “I love you.”

Grant led her away. He held her arm as they followed the turnkey down the intricately twisted corridors which seemed more oppressive, the guarded gates more ominous, the moans of the prisoners more heart-wrenching.

She maintained control until after they’d retrieved their weapons, signed out, and left the outer door. Then, as they waited in the suffocating fog for a hackney, Elise doubled over and lost the contents of her dinner.

Grant kept a steadying arm around her through her dry heaves and even during the racking sobs that followed. Without censure, he guided her to the coach and saw her back to the Greymore’s home.

There she awaited Jared’s death.

The afternoon before the scheduled hangings, Jared’s siblings paid him a visit.

Appalled, Jared could barely choke out a greeting. “What are you thinking? You can’t come visit a pirate in gaol. It will be all over the papers tomorrow.”

With a cocky grin lighting his face, Cole quirked an eyebrow. “You underestimate my influence, little brother.”

Jared glanced meaningfully at the twins.

Cole only shook his head. “You really don’t think we’d fail to come see you, do you.” It wasn’t a question.

Though still concerned about the scandal touching the family he’d worked so hard to protect, Jared had to admit their visit meant a great deal. The conversation lagged, stilted and uncomfortable, despite his family’s attempts to tease him as they always had, and his own poor retorts.

Oddly enough, the girls managed to be more themselves than his brothers. Margaret, completely unruffled, looked him over in her usual imperious way. “Save a place for my husband in hell.”

He offered a wry grin. “Are you sending him there, soon?”

“One can only hope.”

Rachel described a cottage she’d found near the Scottish border where she planned to finish writing her book on herbology.

Christian was grim and tight-lipped. “Father would be proud of you,” he said quietly. “He’d consider this a hero’s death.”

Jared looked away, unwilling to show how much Christian’s words meant to him. “Yes, well, I’d rather live if given a choice. But at least they no longer chain pirates to the river and let three tides wash over their bodies. That’d be chilly.”

Christian closed his eyes, his jaw hard.

At the sickened looks on his siblings’ faces, Jared said, “Sorry. I keep making tasteless jokes.”

Cole tried too hard to act as if nothing unusual were happening and traded jests with his brothers with zeal. When they were about to depart, Cole turned back. “I’ll be there tomorrow for you.”

Jared stared at him, astounded. “You can’t be serious. No, Cole, don’t.”

“I will not leave you to face this alone. I was on your ship with you for a year. I wasn’t even there under orders. I should be hanging right beside you.”

“You came on board because I needed you.”

Stricken, Cole dragged his hand through his hair.

“Cole.” He waited until his brother looked him in the eye. “Go home and take care of Alicia. And your child. Don’t speak another word of it.”

Cole nodded miserably, his eyes suspiciously bright.

“Greymore may yet come through for me,” Jared added.

Cole swallowed hard. “We’ve both already gone all the way to the top. They’ve washed their hands of you.”

“Just as they promised.”

Cole embraced him fiercely, then Margaret and Rachel followed suit. Grant offered a brief hug accompanied with a hearty back slap.

Lastly, Christian, looking utterly desolate, threw his arms around him. “Father was wrong about you. I’m sorry he never saw you the way I always have.”

Jared couldn’t speak. Christian pulled away without meeting his eyes. And then they were gone. Jared sank down on his cot.

Would he have done anything differently if he’d known this was how it would end?

He relived the events of his life. In a moment of humbling clarity, he realized even though he’d often cursed the Secret Service, he’d thrived on the danger. He loved immersing himself in the different roles he’d played. Even some aspects of piracy had been … well … fun. At least he’d rid the world of Macy, the cruel and ferocious pirate captain whose ship he later commanded, as well as Leandro and Santos, who were equally bloodthirsty, plus a number of other reprobates the world would never mourn.

If he could have gone back and relived his life, all the major paths he trod would have been the same. Except for killing Leandro sooner, he would have done little differently.

Even his time aboard the ship with Elise was precious. And now, with astonishing clarity, he knew who he was.

Underneath all the lies and espionage, he truly was the man he became in Elise’s presence. She brought out that man from the deep place Jared had imprisoned him.

He stood and went to the window. Perhaps that wasn’t entirely true. Perhaps his real self had more power than he’d suspected. Perhaps his real self influenced everything he did. The realization brought a peace he hadn’t expected.

He hadn’t vanished after years of portraying others; he had remained, guiding his choices all along.

Jared smiled. He would not have changed a thing. Except to make amends with Father and visit his family more frequently.

And take a different route home to avoid the navy.

Tomorrow he would die as a pirate, and there wasn’t a thing he could do about it.

He straightened.

He’d hold his head up and go with the dignity of an honorable gentleman. A gentleman Elise would be proud to love.