The Half Life of Molly Pierce (20 page)

But it’s not me. It’s not me, really. It’s almost me. It’s half of me.

It’s just—

Sometimes I get so sad I think my mind will rip and I will split into two separate people. I will keep all my sadness in one part of me. I will keep all my happiness in another.

We will share a body; she will give herself a name. My sister will like her.

She’ll sew herself up when she thinks I’m ready.

She’ll write me a letter. Instructions for how to live without her.

You deserve to be whole
.

You deserve to remember
.

You deserve to live
.

This voice in my head, it’s telling me he’ll be good for me. It’s telling me he’s kind. It’s telling me I should give him this one chance. Just do this. Just do this and maybe you’ll be happy.

There’s this voice, but I don’t have to listen to it. I can turn it off. I don’t have to hear her anymore.

I can do this part by myself.

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HarperCollins Publishers

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This book wouldn’t be a reality without the support of many, many people. First and foremost—my parents, who reacted very calmly when I phoned them up and told them I was quitting my job and moving back in with them in order to write a novel. They welcomed me and defended me against those who questioned my decisions. For that I’ll always be ridiculously grateful. I’d also like to thank them for being there for me when I went through my own struggle with depression and mental illness. That was the darkest time in my life, and without them I might never have made it out.

This book is dedicated to my brothers but I also have to acknowledge them here. Ric and Brittany gave me a home in Brooklyn and were always around to listen to my latest story idea. Colby gave me the world, in a way. I learned so much about myself traveling around with him. Thank you for encouraging me to write poetry about the moon when I was sixteen in Mexico. And Nicole, for her openness and warmth. I’ll always feel welcome wherever she is.

RHA—he was important and he is missed. He was the first person to ask me straight:
What are you
doing
with your life?
He made me rethink everything.

I consider a few people to be integral to the writing of this book. To Colleen, who taught me how to write a query letter, and to Dr. Jeffrey Lazar, for medical answers when I wasn’t yet ready to ask Ric.

My agent, Wendy Schmalz, for her patience and honesty. My editor, Sarah Dotts Barley, for her passion and commitment. Two such important people; I hope I know them for a very long time.

To the rest of my family and friends for their support and interest and love. Especially MMW and AJS.

And to all those fighting for better mental health awareness and treatment in America. This book was inspired by you.

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HarperCollins Publishers

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Amanda Jane Shank

KATRINA LENO
grew up in Connecticut and spent her childhood summers by the shore in Massachusetts, where The Half Life of Molly Pierce takes place. Katrina now lives in California. You can visit her online at www.katrinaleno.com and follow her on Twitter @KatrinaLeno.

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HarperTeen is an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers.

T
HE HALF LIFE OF MOLLY PIERCE
. Copyright © 2014 by Katrina Leno

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