The Hamster of the Baskervilles (8 page)

When the last bell sounded, I glided out the door slicker than an eel on ice skates. Bending low, I crept through the crowd, leaving Bosco behind.

So far, so good.

I retrieved my skateboard and made it safely to a bush by the flagpole. Before long, my partner appeared.

"Natalie!" I hissed.

She joined me, and we ducked behind a hedge.

"There you—
whew!
" she said, fanning the air. "What, did they decide to make you a Dirty Rotten Stinker after all?"

"Ha, ha. I had to hide in the Dumpster to get away. How'd you escape?"

"Through the heating vents," she said. "So what now?"

"Time for drastic measures."

"We tell Principal Zero about the gang?" she asked.

"Not that drastic. No, we ambush a Dirty Rotten Stinker and squeeze some answers out of him."

Natalie grinned. "I'm your bird."

We peeked over the hedge at the kids leaving school. Soon, a likely target showed his snout: my old friend Kurt Replie. "Ready...," I whispered.

He drew even with us, then, "Go!" I hissed. Natalie and I jumped out and grabbed his elbows.

"We're doing a survey," I said. "How many Stinkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

"Why don't ya—hey!" said Kurt the rat. "It's you!" He tried to wriggle free, but we held him in a vise grip.

Natalie and I steered our captive behind the bushes. Some curious passersby glanced our way, but knew better than to interfere. Nobody but a giraffe sticks his neck out at Emerson Hicky.

We braced the rat between us. His eyes jittered from Natalie to me. Like most bullies, he wasn't so tough without his gang.

"What do you want?" whined Kurt.

"Information," I said. "We wanna hear all about

how your buddy Bosco trashed Mr. Ratnose's classroom."

Bewilderment crossed the rat's face. You could tell it was a frequent visitor. "I dunno what you're talkin' about," he said.

"Don't playact with me," I sneered. "Give us the goods on Bosco, or else!"

"Or else what?" he asked.

I hate when they do that.

Just then, I glanced past his shoulder and saw an unfriendly face attached to an even less friendly body. It was Erik Nidd, patrolling and casting his many eyes around for ... us!

"Aha!" shouted Erik.

"Uh-oh," said Natalie.

"Bye-bye," said I.

Just like that, Natalie and I skedaddled.

Erik chased us as far as the crossing guard. Then he shouted after us, "Ya can't hide forever. See ya at Science Fair!"

I wondered for a moment whether Principal Zero would be willing to transfer me to a nice safe school somewhere in Siberia—before six o'clock that evening.

Fat chance. Truth was, we were in deep, deep doo-doo.

After a hot shower and a quick snack, I was nearly ready to face school again.

But first, dinner. Chez Gecko offered a tempting termite 'n' onion casserole, with candy-coated wasp eggs for dessert.
Mmm.
And the price was right: free.

"Chet," said my mom, "get right back here, and do these dishes."

Well, almost free.

As we drove to school, a fat gold sun hung just over the hills, like a sumo wrestler caught in a tree. Moonrise was near—and with it, the were-creature's return.

My parents and my sister, Pinky, dropped me at the auditorium. I waded through an anthill of activity to find Natalie before the program started. A
couple of Dirty Rotten Stinkers crossed my path, but with their parents there, they could only scowl.

The cafeteria had been transformed into a giant laboratory from a mad scientist's dreams. Odd science projects from our class and others lined the walls. A huge, perpetual-motion wheel spun in the center of the room. Near it stood a scale model of a volcano and a water tank with a robot shark.

Drat! I
knew
our "Nature's Little Batteries" experiment was a dumb idea.

Natalie found me by the shark tank. "Listen," she said. "I've been reviewing our cases, and I think something big will happen tonight."

I blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Haven't you ever watched monster movies?" she asked.

"Yeah..."

Natalie leaned forward. "So, what did Godzilla do to Tokyo?"

"He trashed it," I said.

"And what did King Kong do to New York?"

"He wrecked it."

"And what does every werewolf do in every werewolf movie?"

I frowned. "They ... scratch their fleas and howl?"

"No, you noodlehead," said Natalie. "They go on a rampage."

I put up a finger. "So you think maybe..."

"The monster's coming tonight," we said together.

Natalie nodded. "And I still think it did the vandalism. Remember, Ms. LaRue said her room had been torn apart by a wild animal. What could be wilder than a were-thing?"

"A bunch of Dirty Rotten Stinkers?" I scanned the cafeteria. "Anyhow, let's prepare for the worst. Where's Principal Zero?"

The huge cat stood chatting with a few teachers near the stage. As we approached, he was saying to Ms. Glick, "...and I'll bet she wins the Teacher of the Year Award for organizing this."

I think Ms. Burrower blushed. It's hard to tell with a mole. Boom-Boom LaRue looked like she had swallowed a pickled grub worm.

"Uh, Principal Zero," I said.

His tail twitched. "Not now, Gecko."

"It's about that...
thing
you asked me to do?"

Principal Zero frowned. He took my arm. "Excuse us, please, ladies," he purred. When we were alone in the corner, he growled, "What?"

"There
is
a were-something," said Natalie.

"A were-what?"

I shrugged. "We don't know, exactly. It was dark."

Principal Zero glanced around sharply. "Where is the creature now?"

"Uh, it gave us the slip."

His neck fur bristled. "You're the snoop," he said. "Go snoop around for it."

I jerked my head at the displays. "But ... my science project?"

"Blast your science project," he snarled. "Find that were-thing before it finds us. Then call the janitors."

He didn't need to tell me twice; I'd rather snoop than science any day.

As I headed backstage to investigate, Natalie lagged behind. She eyed the exhibits longingly.

"What?" I asked.

"I'll ... uh, watch the doors," she said.

I shook my head. My partner, the science nerd.

"Okay, but look sharp," I said. "We don't know which way this thing will jump."

I eased toward the curtains.

"Chet Gecko!" called Mr. Ratnose. "Go join your group."

"Can't," I said. "Principal's orders."

Mr. Ratnose's eyes narrowed. Much as I might have wanted to hear his discussion with Mr. Zero, it was time for action.

I slipped behind the curtains. The dust billowed. Hunting for a light switch, I shuffled along in the dimness.

From the corner of my eye, movement. I wasn't alone.

"Now we've got you!" crooned Bosco Rebbizi.

I backed away from him. A foot scraped behind me. I whirled.

A buff toad grinned at me—another gang member. I was trapped!

Zzwip!

I scaled the curtain in a flash, out of reach. Sometimes, it pays to be a gecko.

While Bosco and the toad fumbled for a ladder, I slithered through the gap in the curtains, slid to the floor, and ran into the crowded cafeteria.

Before they could track me, I shot out the door. Clouds filled the night sky. I looked both ways.

Now, where would a were-whatsit go to amuse itself? The swings? The library? The kennel?

I edged along the cafeteria wall, with one eye out for the monster and one eye out for gang members. This was one time it would've helped to have eyes like Shirley Chameleon's.

Turning the corner, I noticed an odd shape by the loading dock—some kind of tall box draped in cloth. As I moved closer, a twig cracked in the darkness.

There!—on the right—a dark figure loomed.

My quick gecko reflexes kicked in. I sprang to the wall.

A deep molasses voice drawled, "Like, take a chill pill, daddy-o."

"Cool Beans?"

"The real deal." The big possum ambled forward. "Now, what's the scam, Sam?"

I climbed down. "Looking for that were-creature," I said. "Hey, I thought you were sick?"

"Naw," said Cool Beans. "Just takin' a long nod back at my pad. Didn't want to miss the action. What's shakin'?"

"Nothing yet." I pointed at the tall box. "I was just about to check that out."

"Crazy, man. I'll cover you."

I walked up to the box and read a sign hanging on it:
Science Fair Property. Don't even think about opening this.

I lifted an edge of the drapery. It revealed steel bars. I pushed the cloth higher and peered into the cage. It was darker than Dracula's belly button.

Hmm,
a door.

Cool Beans spoke from behind me. "Should you be openin' that door, Sherlock?"

I opened it.

The moon appeared suddenly, and three things happened almost at once:

1) it shone on a furry shape inside the cage;

2) that furry shape blew up like a blimp in no time flat; and

3) it burst from the cage with an "
Eeeee!
" and bowled me over.

"I s'pose that answers my question," said Cool Beans.

Tangled in the drapery, I sputtered, "After it!"

Cool Beans rushed to untangle me. An ice age passed. Civilizations rose, flourished, and died a miserable death. And still I was trapped.

"Hurry!" I said, struggling.

"Us possums only have two speeds," he said. "This is the fast one, man."

Beyond the slow-moving librarian, the were-thing disappeared around the building. Principal Zero was going to kill me.

With Cool Beans's help, I unwrapped myself. He was too slow; I'd have to chase down the monster alone. "Call the janitors," I said. "I'll try to head it off."

I charged after the were-creature, my coattails flying. Turning the corner, I skidded to a halt. The beast was standing under a tree. Monstrous, dark, and red eyed, the shaggy creature panted rapidly.

"Nice were-thingy," I said. The gentle touch works wonders.

It jumped like a frog on a whoopee cushion and tore away from me at top speed.

So much for the gentle touch. That thing was pretty skittish for a monster.

It dodged through a cafeteria door. I dashed into the room on its heels and smack into the middle of Pandemonium City.

The monster tore through the crowd like a hog through hog chow. Students and parents lunged out of the were-creature's way, trampling science projects and junior scientists alike.

"Stay calm!" shouted Principal Zero above the hubbub.

"My science project!" squealed Ms. Burrower.

Panting, I kept up the chase. The doorways were jammed with panicked kids; it couldn't escape. So the creature began tearing around the auditorium, running laps like a track star. No way could I tackle it. There had to be a better method for stopping it....

Natalie was crouching by the perpetual-motion
wheel. I blinked. A brainstorm hit me. (It happens sometimes.)

I puffed up to her. "Natalie, when it comes around again, stand your ground."

"What?!" She looked at me like I'd flipped.

"Trust me," I said. "And make the loudest noise you can, on my signal."

She nodded shakily. I stepped aside and braced myself. Here came the marathon monster, barreling along.

It brushed past; I leaped behind it and spread my arms wide. "Now, Natalie!"

"
AAA-OOOOGAHH!
" she wailed, like a giant Klaxon.

Startled, the monster stopped dead. It whirled on me, and I flapped my arms, yelling, "
YAAAGH!
"

The were-creature turned again and half stumbled, half fell inside the spinning wheel. It scrambled to catch its balance. Then the monster dropped into a rhythm, running round and round inside the wheel, going nowhere fast.

The janitors arrived. Maureen DeBree and Luke Busy pushed through the crowd and stood waiting, armed with a net and rolls of duct tape. Gradually, the parents and kids overcame their fear and edged forward to watch. They murmured among themselves.