The Happiest Day (23 page)

“But…but your
job!  Peter, you’re a judge in New York—you would leave all of that behind?”

“I would give up
everything to be with my son.  If I stay in New York, how often would I see
him?  Summers, holidays?  That’s not enough for me.  I want to be a part of his
every day life.”

“What would you do
here?”

“I could practice
law again.  I could buy a house.”

She felt as if she
didn’t have the right to ask but she plunged ahead.  “Is there anyone you would
be leaving behind?”

“No one special.”
He ran a thumb over her trembling lips.  “There’s never been anyone since you.”

“Peter, what
happened to Blanche?”

His eyes grew dark
with emotion.  “She hemorrhaged to death after a back-alley abortion.”

“I’m sorry,” she
whispered, stroking her hand during the side of his face.

“It wasn’t her
first, just her last.”  He kissed the tip of her nose and sat up.  “I’d better
leave.  I don’t think your husband would react well to finding me holding you
on his sofa.”  He stood and held out a hand to help her up.  “Walk me to the
door?”

They walked
slowly, stretching out their moments together, hands intertwined.  “So what
happens now?”

“I’d like to pick
David up from school and take him out for supper.  I’ll talk to him then about
my plans and see how he feels about it.  He seems to be handling this well so
far.”

“He’s always been
mature for his age.”

“I could see
that.  You’ve raised a wonderful boy.  Do you mind if I meet him after school?”

“No, it’s fine.”

“I’ll come to your
office tomorrow and we’ll discuss my plans.”

“All right.  Just
have him home early, especially if he has homework.”

“Will do.” He
looked over his shoulder to make sure they were alone, then bent to kiss her
sweetly on the lips.  “I love you.”

She nodded against
his lips, acknowledging him silently.  “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

That evening was
tense again, especially once Theo learned that David would be spending time
with Peter.  “Son of a bitch,” he muttered in disgust when Rachel told him
where their son was.  “And so it begins.”  He locked himself in his study the
rest of the night.

The small children
didn’t understand where their brother was and bombarded Rachel was constant,
unanswerable questions.  Finally, in a fit of temper, she sent them all to bed
early.  She sat on the front porch, pretending to read a book.  Around seven
o’clock, Peter’s car arrived and David jumped out.

“See you
tomorrow!” David could be heard to say as he closed the car door.

Peter didn’t get
out of the car, but leaned down to look at Rachel where she sat.  They held
eyes for a moment then he raised his hand slightly from where it lay on the
steering wheel.  She responded with a slight wave of her own and he pulled
away, driving down the long, winding drive.

“Hi, Mom!” David
greeted her with a broad smile.  “I got an A on my history test.”

“Great job,
darling.  I’m proud of you.” She rose to give him a hug.  “How was school?”

“It was fine. 
Guess what, Mom?  Peter is going to move here.  He said he’s ready to come
home.”

“How do you feel
about that?”

“I think it’s
great.  He’s all alone in New York but now he’ll be with family.”

“There’s not much
family left,” Rachel said gently.  “His mother and step-father, as well as his
sister and brother are all gone now.”

“He has me,
though,” David said hesitantly.  “I mean, I
am
his son.”

Rachel’s throat
tightened and she had to force the words past the lump.  “You’re absolutely
right.  He has you, and that’s the most important thing.”

“I’m going to help
him find a house to buy.  I hope he finds one near here so it will be easy for
me to see him.”

“I’m sure he’ll
appreciate your help.  Davy…?”

“What?”

“You really like
him, don’t you?”

Her son grew
serious—far too serious for one his age.  “I really do, Mom.  It’s strange.  I
mean, I never knew anything about him but now that I know him…I don’t know how
to say it…” His dark eyebrows came together in a frown.

“It’s like you
always knew each other?”

The frown
cleared.  “Yeah, I guess that’s right.  Does that sound stupid?”

“Not at all.  I
understand completely.”  She ruffled his hair.  “Come on, let’s go inside.”

Peter made a brief
visit to her the next day to inform her of what David had already told her.  He
was headed back to New York to resign his position on the bench, sell his home,
and move his life back to Ohio.

“I visited Bert
last night,” he told her.  “I told him everything.  I hope you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind,”
she assured him.  “I don’t want to keep secrets anymore.”  She pursed her lips
a bit ruefully.  “I suppose he’ll be along any moment to confront me.”

“More than
likely,” he agreed with a grin.  “Listen, I can’t stay.  I’m leaving on the ten
o’clock train.  I’m not sure how long this will all take but I’ll stay in
touch.”

“Through David,”
she stated.

His eyebrows
raised in question.  “Is that how you want it?”

She looked down at
her desk, pretending interest in the paperwork in front of her.  “It would be
for the best.”

He came closer,
leaning on her desk as he had done on that first day.  This time, though, there
was no anger, just curiosity.  “Rae, how are things at home?”

She looked up at
him.  “How do you think things are?”

“Bressler is
angry?”

“Very.”

“At you or me?”

“He’s not
discriminatory,” she said wryly, “but unfortunately I’m feeling the brunt of
his anger.”  She stood, arms crossed over her chest.  “It’s my problem, Peter. 
I just have a lot of repairs to do.”

His face was a mix
of emotions and his mouth opened and closed once before he plunged in with,
“Rachel, you’re sure?  You’re sure you want to work on it?  This could be so
easy…”

“Peter,” she
stopped him gently.  “I’m sure.  I love Theo.  I love my life.  I don’t want
anything to ruin what I have.”

He nodded and
straightened.  “Can’t blame a guy for trying,” he said with a smile.  “I want
to give you a promise.  I’m moving back here to be with David.  I won’t
interfere in your marriage, I promise.”

“We could be
friends again,” she suggested.  “That would be interesting, wouldn’t it?”

“We’ve got to be
friends for David’s sake.  Can you make Bressler see that?”

“I will,” she
promised.  “It will just take some time.”

“All right.  I’ve
got to go.  I’ll be back soon.”

“Travel safe,” she
said, not moving from her defensive stance.

He ran his eyes
down to where she stood, arms crossed over her chest, chin firm.  “You are just
as hard-headed now as you were then.  You know I want to kiss you, but I made a
promise.  Could you at least shake my hand?”

She uncrossed her
tense arms and held out her hand.  He smiled in triumph and bent to kiss her
hand.  She closed her eyes briefly against the warmth of his lips on her skin. 
“Peter…” she said in a low voice.

“I know, I know,”
he said against her hand.  “Take care, Rachel.”

Then he was gone
leaving the sensation of his lips on her hand.  She raised her hand up to her
lips and felt tears press her eyes.

Peter returned to Cincinnati
by the end of June and bought a house within a mile of the estate.  He went to
work for a moderate size law firm downtown, professing that he had no desire to
run his own practice again.  He wanted to have the time to spend with his son
and was happy to carry a small caseload with plenty of flexibility.

Rachel was
thrilled to see the relationship between Peter and David develop.  Peter, true
to his word, did not interfere in her marriage and mainly communicated with her
through their son.  David spent every Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday with
Peter and even went on vacation with him in July.  The younger children were
confused at first, but soon accepted that their brother had another father with
whom he would be spending time.  They were young enough to not understand or
question their mother’s convoluted past.

It helped Bert to
have his old friend back in town, as well.  On the nights David was not with
him, Peter usually dined with the widower and they rekindled their friendship. 
There was an unspoken sadness in which they both mourned the loss of Maryanne,
but Bert healed enough to ask his parents to bring Alan and Rose home to him. 
The children were happy to be home again, with their father and with their
cousins and friends.  Life seemed to settle into an easy pattern.

Only her
relationship with Theo suffered.  He could not seem to forgive her for her
deception of David’s parentage.  He was still a loving father to David and
polite with Peter, but he and Rachel barely passed a word that didn’t involve
the newspaper, the estate, or the children.

In August, he
entered her office after a brief knock and laid a single sheet of paper on her
desk.

“What’s this?” she
asked.

“It’s my
resignation,” he answered.  “I’ve accepted a job with
Stars and Stripes
.”

She looked up at
him, feeling her heart contract.  How she wished she could go back to the days
when he was in love with her.  “I see.  When were you going to tell me?”

He frowned and
motioned to the resignation letter.  “I just did.”

“No, you just told
your newspaper editor.  When were you going to tell your wife?”

“I didn’t know
there was a difference,” he said coldly.

She tried to
control the rush of emotions that threatened to overwhelm her.  “Apparently
there isn’t.  How much will you be travelling for this job?”

“I’ll be based in
London.”

It was a blow she
wasn’t expecting.  The paper fell out of her hand.  “You’re leaving for good?”

“Not for good. 
I’ll just be based there.  It doesn’t mean I won’t come home.  The world is
changing, Rachel, and someone needs to be there to report on it.  This Hitler
is a dangerous man.  Do you even know what’s happening over there?”

“Don’t patronize
me, Theo,” she snapped.  “Of course I do.  I’m not just some girl who delivers
coffee and cigarettes, I own this newspaper.”

“Like I could
forget that,” he muttered.

They stared at
each other with all the bitterness and resentment that had been building for
years.  “Fine,” she finally said.  “I accept your resignation.  Tonight at
home, though, I do expect that we’ll talk about how this is going to work. 
You’ll have to tell the children.”

He nodded and left
her office without another word.  Rachel followed and shut her office door. 
Stumbling to the sofa, she fell onto it and dissolved into tears.  She never
thought he would leave her, especially in this manner, without a definitive
decision.  He was just running away.

It was Wednesday,
she suddenly thought. 
Shit
.  She would have to talk to Peter about his
night with David.

His law office was
only one block over from the newspaper building.  Leaving her pocketbook and
her umbrella, despite the growing storm clouds, she walked to his office
building, her thoughts in turmoil.

The receptionist
recognized her immediately and assured her that she would summon Peter right
away.  Rachel sat on a chair in the reception area and stared desolately at a
picture hanging on the wall without really seeing it.

“Rae?” Peter came
striding into the reception area.  “What is it?  Is David all right?”

She looked up at
him confusedly, forgetting for a moment why she was there.  “Oh, no he’s fine. 
I just need to ask you if we can switch nights.  I need David at home tonight.”

“Of course.” He
crouched down in front of her, taking her hands in his.  “You’re as pale as a
ghost.  What’s wrong?”

“Theo took a job
with
Stars and Stripes
.  He’s going to be based out of London.”

“Does he want you
and the children to go with him?” he asked already knowing that he would fight
them tooth and nail to keep David here with him.

She turned wounded
eyes to him.  “No.”

Peter tried to
hide his relief.  “I see.”  He lowered his voice.  “Did he ask you for a
divorce?”

“No.  He said that
he’ll come home occasionally.”

“So he’s leaving
you in limbo.  That’s not very fair of him.”

“I think he must
need time away to figure out what he wants.  He’s so angry at me right now,
it’s probably for the best.”  She sighed, then straightened her spine.  “I
didn’t mean to burden you.  I just needed to ask if David could be home tonight
when he tells the children.”

“Of course.”

“I have to get
back to work.”

“Let me walk you
back.”  He talked to his receptionist quietly then offered his hand to Rachel
to help her stand.  “Come on, Spider.  Let’s get you back to where the world
makes sense.”

She laughed a
little.  “That is true.  Thanks for understanding, Peter.”

As they walked
outside, they heard the thunder rumbling.  “Uh-oh,” he said.  “I think we’re
going to get drenched.  Let’s hurry.”

They got about
half a block when the skies opened up and the rain began coming down in
torrents.  Peter pulled off his jacket and draped it over both of their heads.

“Let’s run!”
Rachel said, laughing.

“You’ll turn an
ankle in those heels!”  He pulled her into a doorway where the brick archway
afforded them protection from the rain.  He pulled her close to him and looked
upward.  “It’s just one cloud.  Once it passes, we should be able to make it
the rest of the way without getting too soaked.”

The air was humid
and the steam rose from the sidewalk in steamy wisps.  Rachel signed deeply and
closed her eyes.  “Oh Peter, when did it all get so complicated?”

He chuckled. 
“When has it ever not been complicated?”  He drew her head against his chest. 
“Just rest for a moment, sweetheart.  Pretend that there’s nothing else you
need to do but stand right here and listen to the rain.”

They stood there
together in silence, listening to the rain, his hand stroking her back in long
sweeping strokes.  “I wish…”

“You wish what?”
he asked, his voice husky.

“Do you remember
that first night we were together?  At the beach?  It seemed so simple.”

“It was far from
simple but it was one of the best nights of my life.”

“Mine, too.”  She
felt his body growing hard against her and she knew she should pull away.  “I’m
breaking one of my rules right now.”

“It seems like
Bressler is changing the rules.”

“Until he divorces
me, I’m not free.”

“Do you want him
to divorce you?”

“No,” she answered
honestly.  “I don’t want another marriage to be a failure.”

“Rachel, you did
everything you could to be a good wife to Norris.”

“Having an affair
with you was not exactly the decision a loyal wife makes.”

“It was more complex
than that.”

She accepted that
wordlessly.  “The rain is stopping.”  She pulled slightly and he let her go. 
“I’ll be fine from here.”

He nodded.  “All
right.  I hope everything goes all right for you tonight.  Could I have David
tomorrow night?”

“Of course.”  She
stepped down from the doorway and turned back.  “Peter, thank you.  No matter
what we’ve been through, you are always there for me.”

“I love you,” he
said simply.  “I could no more turn my back on you then stop breathing.”

Tears filled her
eyes.  “I…I wish things could be different.”

“I know.”  He
shoved his hands in his pockets.  “Go on now.  Call me if you need me.”

Theo sat the
children down that night after dinner and told them the news.  Thankfully, they
found it exciting that their father was going to be working for
Stars and
Stripes
and only Matthew and David understood that this meant that they
would not get to see their father very often.

“I’ll write every
day,” Theo promised, “and come home when I can.”  He swung three year old Lily
up into his arms.  “Promise me you won’t grow up too fast, Lily-belle.”

“I promise,” she
giggled, throwing her chubby arms around his neck.

Rachel saw the
moment of pain in his face and had to turn away.  Up in their bedroom later
that night, as he began packing for his journey, she said, “You don’t have to
leave them, you know.  It wouldn’t be the end of the world if you divorced me. 
You could still be with the children.”

“You’d like that,
wouldn’t you?”  His jaw was set tightly.  “That would leave a clear pathway for
you and MacGregor to be together again.  He’s already raising one of my
children, I’ll be damned if he’ll raise the rest of them.”

“Theo, I have no
intention of being with Peter.”

“It’s just a
matter of time.”

“So you’re willing
to sacrifice being with your own children just because you don’t trust me? 
Just because you think I’m not committed to this marriage?”

“I’m leaving,
Rachel, because I’m smothered.  I don’t want to be here any longer.  I want to
be a part of something bigger than this Midwestern city and your
middle-of-the-road newspaper.”

His words took her
aback.  She stared at him, really seeing him for the first time.  “You know,
when I first met you, I wondered how someone as intelligent and talented and
handsome as you had never been married.  Now, I see it’s because you’re
selfish.  You’re only happy if everything is about you.  You got caught up in
protecting me and before you knew it, you were a father of four, stuck in a job
that you had never really wanted.  You were married to a woman who essentially
was your boss.  You’re willing to walk away from all of this, including your
own children, because you want to be the star, the center of attention.  You’re
a flawed human being, Theo Bressler.”

His face contorted
in anger.  “How dare you?  How dare you judge me?”  He strode across the room
and yanked her up by her arm.  “This could have been a good marriage.  You
never bought into it, though.  You never bought into me.  Your mind, and your
heart for that matter, was always somewhere else.”

“Let go of me!”
she said furiously.  He had never touched her in anger.

“I hate you for
what you’ve done to us.  I hate you for tearing this family apart.”  He threw
her onto the bed and she gasped in fury.

“You will not
manhandle me!”

“You may have been
my boss outside of this house, but here, especially in this bedroom, I’m the
boss.”  He knelt over her, catching her chin between his thumb and forefinger
painfully.  “God damn you, Rachel.”  He bent his head, kissing her in
punishment.

She pushed against
him, shocked that he was using his superior strength against her.  She was
stunned when she felt him pulling her dress up above her waist and fingering
her roughly through her underwear.  “Stop…stop…” she said furiously.  “I will
not let you do this.”

He used one hand
to press against her chest, holding her in place and the other hand to unzip
his pants.  He pushed himself inside of her and she cried out in pain.

“Damn you, you
bastard,” she cried, her voice barely there.  He had not touched her for months
and this was the way that he chose to return to intimacy.

“What, doesn’t
MacGregor ever like it rough?” he growled.  “He doesn’t know what he’s
missing.  You’re so fucking sexy like this…”  He thrust two or three more times
and groaned in release.

Rachel lay on the
bed after he withdrew and stood, zipping his pants.  “I hate you for this,” she
said tonelessly.

“You’ll get over
it,” he said.  “Just like I’ll get over what you’ve done to me.  Some time
apart is exactly what we need.”

She watched him
continue packing and finally rolled off the bed onto her feet.  “I’m going to
sleep in Lily’s room tonight.”

“I’ll be gone
before you get up tomorrow.  I’ll let you know when I arrive in London.”

She wanted to tell
him to not bother, but she had to think of the children.  “Fine.”  She grabbed
a nightgown and left the room without another word.

When she rose the
next morning, he was gone.  On her pillow, though, was a note.  She held it for
a long time, torn between throwing it in the garbage and reading his final
words to her.  Finally, she opened it.

“
Dear Rachel,

I wish I could
have woken you up this morning.  I sat next to Lily’s bed for over an hour,
staring at you, with our little girl curled up against you.  I wanted to crawl
into the bed and hold both of you in my arms but I didn’t want to wake you and
see the hatred in your eyes.  I am so very sorry for what I did.  I’m not a
violent person—you know that.  I am so ashamed of my actions last night and I’m
sorry if I hurt you.  I think it’s for the best that we separate for now so
that I can get my head on straight.  I do not want a divorce.  I will be back,
I promise.  Please wait for me.  I love you.

                                                Theo”

Rachel didn’t even
feel the tears come until she saw them splashing onto the paper.  Her marriage
was bruised and battered but apparently not yet over.  Only time would tell how
they would manage to find their way to happiness again.