The Harsh Cry of the Heron (28 page)

Where is our master?

She dreaded seeing
and hearing that way again, and she tried to armour herself against the cat’s
possession of her. She had inherited something of the implacable nature of the
Kikuta along with many of their talents. But the cat came to her in dreams,
demanding, terrifying and enticing.

‘You will make an
excellent spy!’ Sada exclaimed after their first night on the ship, when Maya
recounted the gossip she had overheard the day before: nothing sinister or
dangerous, just individuals’ secrets that they might have preferred to remain
unknown to the wide world.

‘I would rather be a
spy than have to get married to some lord,’ Maya replied. ‘I want to be like
you, or like Shizuka used to be.’

She gazed across the
white-flecked water towards the East, where the city of Hagi already lay lost
in the distance: Oshima also lay far behind them, only the clouds above the
island volcano visible. They had passed it during the night, to Maya’s regret,
for she had heard many stories of the pirates’ former stronghold and her father’s
visit to Lord Terada, and she wanted to see it for herself, but the ship could
not afford any delay: the north-easterly wind would not hold for many more days,
and they needed it to drive them to the coast of the West.

‘Shizuka used to do
whatever she pleased,’ Maya went on. ‘But then she got married to Dr Ishida,
and now she’s just like any other wife.’

Sada laughed. ‘Don’t
underestimate Muto Shizuka! She has always been so much more than she seems.’

‘She is Sunaomi’s
grandmother, too,’ Maya grumbled.

‘You are jealous,
Maya; that’s your trouble!’

‘It’s so unfair,’ the
girl said. ‘If only I were a boy it wouldn’t matter if I were a twin. If I were
a boy, Sunaomi would never have come to live with us, and Father would not be
thinking of adopting him!’ And I would never have thought of daring the little
coward to go to the shrine. She looked at Sada. ‘Didn’t you ever wish you were
a man?’

‘Yes, often, when I
was a child. Even in the Tribe, where women have great freedom, boys seem to be
valued more. I always set myself against them, always strove to beat them. Muto
Kenji used to say that explained why I grew as tall and as strong as a man. He
taught me to copy boys, use their speech and ape their gestures. Now I can be
either man or woman, and that’s the way I like it.’

‘He taught us the
same!’ Maya exclaimed, for like all the Tribe children she had learned both men’s
and women’s language, and gestures, and could pass as either.

Sada studied her. ‘Yes,
you could become a boy.’

‘Really, I am not
sorry to be sent away,’ Maya confided in her. ‘Because I like you - and I love
Taku!’

‘Everyone loves Taku.’
Sada laughed.

But Maya had no
opportunity to pick up more of the enticing, almost incomprehensible language
of the sailors - some of them hardly older than she was - for the swell picked
up and to her annoyance she discovered she was not a good sailor. The dip and
rise of the ship made her head ache and her body feel unbearable to her. Sada
cared for her without fussing or words of sympathy, held her head while she
vomited and sponged her face afterwards, making her take tiny sips of tea to
wet her lips, and when the most violent phase had passed laid her down and took
her head on her lap, holding her long, cool hand against Maya’s brow. Sada
thought she could feel, just beneath the skin, the animal nature, like a pelt,
dark, solid and heavy, yet soft to the touch, calling out to be caressed.

Maya experienced the
touch as that of a nurse or a mother; she woke from the sickness when the ship
rounded the cape just as the winds changed and the westerly came up to bring
them to shore, and gazed at Sada’s sharp face, with its high cheekbones like a
boy’s, and thought it would be happiness to lie for ever in her arms, and felt
her whole body stir in response. In that moment a passion came over her for the
older girl, a combination of admiration and need: it was her first experience
of love. She stretched against Sada, folded her arms around her, feeling the
strong muscles like a man’s, the surprising softness of the breasts. She
nuzzled into the neck, half child-like, half animal-like.

‘I take it this
affection means you’re feeling better?’ Sada said, hugging her back.

‘A little. It was
awful. I will never go in a ship again!’ She paused and then said, ‘Do you love
me, Sada?’

‘What sort of
question is that?’

‘I dreamed you did.
But I’m never sure if it’s me dreaming, or . . .’

‘Or what?’

‘Or the cat.’

‘What sort of dreams
does the cat have?’ Sada asked idly.

‘Animal dreams.’ Maya
was gazing at the distant shore, the pine-topped cliffs that rose abruptly from
the dark blue water, the black rocks fringed with grey-green and white waves.
Within the bay, where the surface was calmer, and up into the estuary, wooden
racks supported seaweed, and shallow-hulled fishing boats were pulled up on the
sand, where sea grass grew in tussocks. Men crouched on the shore, mending nets
and keeping the fires lit that forced salt from seawater.

‘I don’t know about
loving you,’ Sada teased. ‘But I do love the cat!’ She reached out and rubbed
Maya’s neck as if she were petting a cat, and the girl’s back arched in
pleasure. Again Sada thought she could almost feel the fur under her fingers.

‘If you keep doing
that, I think I will turn into the cat,’ Maya said dreamily.

‘I’m sure that will
come in useful.’ Sada’s tone was matter of fact and practical. Maya grinned. ‘That’s
why I love the Tribe,’ she said. ‘They don’t mind if I’m a twin, or if the cat
is possessing me. Whatever is useful to them is good. That’s how I think. I’m
never going to go back to life in a palace, or a castle. I’m going to stay with
the Tribe.’

‘We’ll see what Taku
has to say about that!’

Maya knew Taku was
the strictest of teachers and quite lacking in sentimentality, but she feared
he would be swayed by his duty to her father and would therefore be inclined to
treat her with favouritism. She did not know which would be worse: to be
accepted by Taku only because she was an Otori daughter, or to be rejected by
him as not being skilful enough. One moment she found herself thinking he would
send her away, unable to help her; the next that he would be amazed by all she
could do and all her potential. In the end his reception of her would be something
between the two: not quite disappointing, but not overwhelming or flattering
either.

The sandy estuary was
too shallow for their ship to enter, and they were lowered down on ropes to the
flimsy fishing boats. The boats were narrow and unstable; the boatsman laughed
as Maya grabbed the gunwale, and tried to engage Sada in bawdy conversation as
he poled them upstream towards the city of Maruyama.

The castle stood on a
small hill above the river and the town that had spread around it. It was small
and beautiful, white-walled and grey-roofed, looking in some way bird-like, as
if it had just come to rest, its wings still spread, the setting sun tinging
them pink. Maya knew it well and had often stayed there with her mother and
sisters, but today it was not her destination. She kept her eyes lowered and
spoke to no one, already half consciously able to dissemble her features so no
one would recognize her. Sada addressed her roughly from time to time, scolding
her for dawdling, telling her not to scuffle her feet in the dirt. Maya
answered her meekly, Yes, older sister, of course, older sister, walking
without complaining, though it was a long way and the bundle was heavy, and it
was nearly dark by the time they came to a long, low house that extended all the
way round the corner of the street. Its windows were barred with wooden slats,
and its low tiled roof extended out in deep eaves. One side was a shop front,
now closed and silent. Set into the other wall was a huge gate. Two men stood
outside, armed with swords, each holding a long, curved spear.

Sada addressed one of
them. ‘Are you expecting an invasion, cousin?’

‘Here’s trouble,’ he
replied. ‘What are you doing? And who’s the kid?’

‘My little sister,
you remember her?’

‘That’s never Mai!’

‘No, not Mai, Maya.
Let us in. I’ll tell you all about it later. Is Taku in Maruyama?’ she added as
the gate was unbarred and they slipped inside.

‘Yes, he came a few
days ago. Very grand, too, and in elevated company. He is with Lord Kono, from
Miyako, and Lord Sugita is entertaining them both. He hasn’t dropped in like he
usually does. We’ll let him know you and your sister are here.’

‘Do they know who I
am?’ Maya whispered as Sada led her through the darkened garden to the
entrance.

‘They know. But they
also know it is not their business to know, so they will say nothing to anyone.’

She imagined how it
would be, a man - perhaps a woman - in the guise of a soldier, a guard or a
servant; they would approach Taku casually, with some comment about a horse or
a meal, and add a seemingly random sentence, and then Taku would know . . .

‘What will they call
me?’ she said to Sada, stepping lightly onto the veranda.

‘Call you? Who?’

‘What is my secret
name that only the Tribe know?’

Sada laughed almost
soundlessly. ‘They will make something up. The Kitten, perhaps.’ The Kitten
came back tonight. Maya could almost hear the maid’s voice -she had decided it
would be a woman - whisper in Taku’s ear as she bent to wash his feet, or
poured wine for him, and then . . . what would Taku do then?

She felt a slight
touch of apprehension: whatever happened was not going to be easy.

She had to wait two
days. She did not have time to be bored or anxious, for Sada kept her busy with
the Tribe training that has no end, for the skills of the Tribe can always be
improved, and no one, not even Muto Kenji or Kikuta Kotaro, has ever mastered
them completely. And Maya was only a child: years lay ahead of her, standing
motionless for long periods, stretching and folding her limbs to keep them
completely supple, memory and observation training, the speed of movement that
leads to invisibility and the command of the second self. Maya submitted to the
discipline uncomplainingly, for she had decided that she loved Sada without
reserve, and strove to please her.

At the end of the
second day, after night had fallen and they had finished eating, Sada beckoned
to Maya, who was gathering up the bowls and placing them on trays - for here
she was no longer Lord Otori’s daughter but the youngest girl in the household,
and hence servant to everyone. She finished her task, carrying the trays to the
kitchen, and then stepped outside onto the veranda. At the further end, Sada
stood holding a lamp. Maya could see Taku’s face, half lit, half in darkness.

She approached and
dropped to her knees before him, but not before she had quickly studied what
she could see of his face. He looked tired, his expression strained, even
annoyed. Her heart sank.

‘Lord Taku,’ she
whispered.

He frowned more
deeply, and made a gesture to Sada to bring the lamp closer. Maya felt the heat
on her cheek, and closed her eyes briefly. The flame flickered behind her
darkened lids.

‘Look at me,’ Taku
said.

His eyes, black,
opaque, stared directly into hers. She held his gaze without blinking, making
her mind go blank, not allowing anything to surface that might reveal her
weaknesses to him; and at the same time not daring to search for his. But she
could not foil him completely: she felt as if some beam of light, or of
thought, had penetrated her, had seen a secret she had not known she held.

‘Unnh,’ Taku grunted,
but Maya could not tell if it was in approval or surprise. ‘Why has your father
sent you to me?’

‘He thinks I am
possessed by a cat spirit,’ she said quietly. ‘He thought Kenji might have
passed some of the Tribe’s knowledge of these things on to you.’

‘Show me.’

‘I don’t want to,’
she said.

‘Let me see this cat
spirit, if it is there.’ His voice was sceptical and dismissive. Maya responded
with a flash of anger. It ran through her body, direct and non-human, making
her limbs soften and stretch, rippling her coat; her ears flattened and she
showed her teeth, prepared to spring.

‘Enough,’ Taku said
quietly, and touched her lightly on the cheek. The animal self subsided, and
purred.

‘You didn’t believe
me,’ Maya said blankly. She was shivering.

‘If I didn’t before,
I do now,’ he replied. ‘Very interesting. And I daresay useful. The question
is, just how shall we use you best? Have you ever taken on its form completely?’

‘Once,’ she admitted.
‘I followed Sunaomi to Akane’s shrine and watched him wet himself!’

Taku heard something
beneath the bravado. ‘And?’ he questioned.

Maya did not answer
for a few moments; then she muttered, ‘I don’t want to do it again! I don’t
like the feeling.’

‘Whether you like it
or not has nothing to do with it,’ he said. ‘Don’t waste my time. You must
promise that you will do only what Sada or I tell you, no going off on your
own, no risks, no secrets from us.’