Authors: Jessica Verday
His lips pulled up into a half smile, and he sat on the bed. I popped the burrito in and nuked it for twenty seconds before
joining him. I ate in silence, and I got up to brush my teeth as soon as I was done. I did
not
want to have guacamole stuck in them.
When I exited the bathroom, he had one leg propped up on the comforter and was looking at a picture hanging on the far wall. I wondered how the rest of the night would go. Was he going to spend it in the chair, or on the floor? Or in the bed… with me?
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he said suddenly, turning to face me.
“What I’m thinking? Why?”
“Because I can’t
stop
thinking. And I want to know if you feel that way too.” He looked frustrated. “Are you thinking about everything that happened? You should be. You should be thinking about why those Revenants are in Sleepy Hollow, and what that means. You should be thinking about Vincent Drake and how you can stay safe.” He looked down at his leg and pulled at the fabric on his jeans. “You should be thinking about me, Astrid. And how all of this is happening because of
me
.”
“I am thinking about everything,” I said. “But just one thing at a time. There’s so much to take in. I have to compartmentalize it all, or it’ll take over.” His eyes met mine. “I’m afraid, Caspian. Afraid of tomorrow—today, technically—and what it will bring.
I don’t want seeing your grave to drive me back to Dr. Pendleton.”
“Then go home,” he urged. “Leave this place.”
“Go back to Sleepy Hollow? Where there are Revenants who are waiting for me to die? Or where the crazy boy who might have killed my best friend waits?”
“When you put it that way, it sounds—”
“It sounds crazy. I know. I might be safer here. But the most important thing to face right now is
you
.”
“What will it prove? You already know I’m dead.”
“I don’t know,” I said truthfully. “I guess it’s because sometimes I forget.” I reached out a hand to put on his arm and felt the soft covers instead. “Because other than
that
, sometimes I forget you’re not really here and normal.” I looked away. “Trust me, I’d like to forget about this, but I think it’s important. It
feels
crucial. Do you know what I mean?”
“I just don’t want it to hurt, Astrid,” he said.
His words made my heart ache, and I gave him a sad smile. “Hurt is a part of life.” I gestured between us helplessly. “
This
hurts. It
kills
me that I can’t touch you, Caspian. Can’t kiss you. Can’t listen to your heart beating.” I closed my eyes, feeling the tears threatening. “Can you turn off the light?” I asked in a wobbly voice. “If I burst into tears here, I really don’t want you to see it.”
A second later the room turned dark with a soft
click
.
“Don’t cry, Astrid,” he whispered into my ear. “Please don’t cry. Your big eyes and pouty lips… they undo me. I can’t take it. I’ll do anything to make it better.”
I scrambled backward and found one edge of the covers. “Sleep with… me?” I said hesitantly. “Just… be near me.”
Silence was his only answer, and I felt foolish. He didn’t sleep. So why would he want to just lie there next to me?
“Climb under the covers,” he said.
His voice sounded closer, like he’d followed me up the bed. A wicked heat spread through me and made my skin ache. I pulled back the covers and slid between the sheets. The legs of my pajama bottoms rode up my shins, and I wiggled around to straighten them out.
“Are you settled?” Caspian asked.
“Mmm-hmm.” I counted to a hundred, then said, “Are you, um, settled?”
“I’m here.” He sounded too far away.
“Come closer. I like it when you whisper in my ear.”
“I aim to please.”
The shiver came back. He was
much
closer now, and I gave a happy sigh.
“Put your hand on your chest, over your heart,” Caspian
said. I almost turned to ask him why. “No questions,” he said, anticipating my move. “Just do it.”
“Over or under my top?”
“Under,” he breathed. “Skin to skin.”
My body heated up again. Placing one hand over my heart, I felt it beating hard. Like a trapped butterfly frantically fluttering its wings.
“Close your eyes,” he whispered.
I followed his instructions. Then I felt it. Just the slightest dip in the bed. If I hadn’t been concentrating, I might have missed it. My left arm and leg tingled for a second, and then my right arm and leg tingled at the same time.
“Do you feel your heartbeat?” His words fluttered down across my face, and I knew that if I opened my eyes, I’d see him on top of me.
It should have freaked me out. Lying in bed with a boy who was practically pinning me down. And yet… he wasn’t. He
couldn’t
. It felt right with him.
Safe
.
And dangerous. And thrilling. And exhilarating.
I had to moisten my lips before I could answer him. “I feel it.”
“If I could touch anything in the world right now, it would be your heart. I want to take that piece of you and keep it with me when I’m alone in the dark.”
His voice ached, and I ached right along with him.
“I want to feel your heartbeat too,” I whispered.
“Pretend,” he said. “Can you do that? Pretend I’m alive and there’s nothing between us. Nothing at all. I’m real and warm and
alive
.”
My eyes flew open, and I could just barely make out the contours of his face. Holding my hand steady over my heart, I wished I could see his eyes. “Nothing is between us, Caspian,” I whispered. “I’m your other half. So half of this? Half of this erratic thumping? Is yours. I’ll carry your heartbeat in mine.”
The covers bunched around me. He was clenching his hands. “How can you do it, Abbey? How can you love me? I have nothing to offer. Nothing to give you. I don’t even know how long I’ll stay like this. You’d be better off—”
“Stop,” I commanded him softly. “Stop this.”
“But Ben—”
“Would be better for me? Has more to offer me?”
He stayed silent.
“Don’t you think I
know
that, Caspian? Don’t you think I’ve thought about that?”
His voice was quiet, but he said, “You have?”
“Yes. I have. On the night of my birthday party. When I first came back. All those times I was trying
so hard
to get you
out of my head. I’ve thought about it a million times.”
He pulled back, and the space between us widened. I sat up slightly, leveraging myself on my elbows to lessen the space. “I don’t say this to hurt you, love.” The endearment slipped out without me even thinking about it. “I’m telling you this so that you’ll know I made a choice. I
chose
you. Before I knew you were dead… and after.”
“Say it again,” he said. “Call me your love.”
I wanted to touch his face so much, to make him
see
how much he meant to me, that my fingers ached with the wanting. “Love, love,
love
. I chose you freely, love. Before I knew about the Revenants and being your destined other half. I thought about all the ways I could be with Ben—”
“Oh God, Abbey,” he whispered. “You’re breaking my heart here.”
“No,” I said. “Don’t let it. I’m sorry—I’m messing this up.” I rolled away from him, pulling my knees up to my chest. Hot tears threatened to spill, and I jammed my hands into my eyes to stop them.
“I’m so jealous of him,” Caspian admitted. “Every smile he earns from you. Every laugh. I’m jealous of a geek who watches
Star Trek
and eats Funyuns, for God’s sake.” He laughed bitterly. “I see the look on his face, and I know… I
know
how
he feels. Even if he doesn’t. Because I feel it too.”
I swiped my hand over my face and swallowed.
“I’m sorry, Astrid,” he said. “I know what you were trying to say.”
“Ben’s a great guy, Caspian. He is. But he’s not
you
. You’re… chocolate to his vanilla. It works for some people, but not me.”
“With sprinkles?” he asked. “Sprinkles are good.”
“Maybe nuts instead of sprinkles.” I smiled into the darkness. “Anyone who can hang out in a mausoleum all day
has
to be a little nutty.”
“I guess I’m the perfect match, then, for a girl who likes to visit a cemetery.” He drew out every syllable so that it sounded like a love song.
I closed my eyes, savoring those words. “A perfect match,” I murmured. “My other half.”
F
ACE TO
F
ACE
She was withal a little of a coquette, as might be perceived even in her dress, which was a mixture of ancient and modern fashions, as most suited to set off her charms.
—“The Legend of Sleepy Hollow”
A muffled thump and the call of “Housekeeping!” woke me up later that morning, and I put the pillow over my head to try and block out the sound. A short burst of knocks echoed on the door, and I groaned out loud.
“No thank you,” I called, raising my voice so it could be heard through the door.
They knocked again.
“I don’t need any room service! Go away!” It was rude, but effective, and they moved on to the next room.
I felt the sheet slip as I rolled to my side, but I only made a halfhearted attempt to grab at it. It pooled around me, and I
felt the cool air on my exposed midriff. I snuggled deeper into my pillow…
And then my eyes popped open.
Caspian was lying next to me.
I yanked my pajama top back down.
It’s no worse than if you wore a bikini,
I tried to tell myself.
Your belly would show then, too.
But I couldn’t meet his eyes. I was
sure
my face was completely red.
“So,” Caspian said. “How did you sleep?”
My brain was stuttering, but apparently my tongue had no such problems. “Fine. Good.” He leaned closer. I inhaled sharply at his nearness.
“I want to wake up with you every morning,” he said. “Just like this.”
That familiar shivery feeling stole over me again and made my brain go all fuzzy.
“I
should
call you a pervert,” I finally replied. “For ogling me while I sleep.”
“It was torture. To look and not touch…”
“Hey! Just how much looking did you do?” I said indignantly.
“Not… much.” He grinned at me, his hair falling into one eye. “I’m
just sorry that I don’t have my sketch pad. The real crime here was not capturing such beauty.”
I shook my head at him. “That is
such
a come-on line.… But now I need a shower, and you’re going to have to leave the room and return when I’m done, or keep your eyes closed the entire time. And I’ll know if you’re peeking.”
“I’m staying in the room with you. And I won’t peek.”
“I’m trusting you.”
“Of course you can.”
His face was serious, and I could tell he meant what he was promising. Heading toward the bathroom, I called out, “Okay, close ’em.” He did, but I still glanced out at him to see if he was keeping his word.
He was.
I turned the water on, adjusted the temperature, and momentarily forgot all about Caspian as soon as the hot water hit me. The shower was relaxing and just what I needed. I seriously regretted it the moment I turned it off.
I dried off with a towel down from the rack, then wrapped it around me. Another glance at Caspian told me that he was turned away, watching TV.
As I opened the bathroom door, a cloud of steam escaped with me. The carpet was soft on my bare feet, and I scrunched
up my toes, enjoying the feeling. The towel I’d wrapped turban-style around my head started to come undone, so I reached up to secure it.
Behind me the TV switched off.
I froze, aware that I had to be careful how much I moved, or else the towel wrapped around my body could slip.
Turning slowly, I locked eyes with Caspian, and he crooked his finger. Beckoning me to come closer.
I couldn’t resist.
He stood up from the edge of the bed and met me halfway. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest.
“Your cheeks are rosy,” he observed. “And you smell good.” He let out a small groan, and I backed up a step, suddenly feeling out of my element. My suitcase was on the floor behind me, and I bumped into it.
“I’m at a disadvantage here.” I tried to laugh. Tried to distract myself from this strange moment that I didn’t know how to react to. “You’re fully dressed, and I’m only wearing a towel.”
In an instant he pulled off the dark gray T-shirt he wore. The black interlocking circles of the tattoo on his left arm flashed when he moved. “Now we’re a little more even.”
Desire hit me like a rock as I gazed at his bare chest, and I wondered what his skin tasted like there. He was so…
male
. So beautiful.
I bit my lip to keep from moaning, and Caspian let out a sigh. “You are so unbelievably sexy right now.”
A wicked little devil prodded me to be bad, and I took off the towel wrapped around my head, flipping my hair to one side so it slithered over my shoulder. Biting down harder on my lip, I whispered, “Hold on,” and disappeared into the bathroom again.