The Heart-Shaped Emblor (The Ewlishash Series) (16 page)

After twenty minutes of trying to shift into an essence, I finally gave up. I needed help. I scrolled through my list of phone numbers to find Alexander’s. I hoped that this time, his number would work.

“Hello?”

“I need your help,” I pleaded. “I just had a dream about Jaden. Someone is holding her captive to get information on me. Cooper keeps emailing, and he is worried sick, but I have no idea who has her or why. Can you help me?” My voice cracked with panic.

Alexander fell quiet.

“Hello?” I asked. “You still there?”

“Yes,” he said coldly, his voice like ice. “This is too soon.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s too dangerous. Jaden will have to fend for herself for now. Besides, she betrayed you. Why would you want to help her anyway?” Alexander sounded distant, indifferent.

“Fend for herself? Are you kidding me?” I began to shake. “In the dream, she was there because of me! I can’t leave her there. It would be
my
fault if something happened to her! She needs help!”

“Calm down, Aislinn. Nothing is going to happen to her. Well, not physically, anyway. They wouldn’t chance that, not now. They probably just want information on you.”

“Won’t hurt her
physically
? That’s not good enough!” I tried to compose myself so I could think clearly. “Do you even know who ‘they’ are?”

“Yes and no. ‘They’ are Tirates. The darker element of us.” Alexander let out a rough breath. “You need to calm down. Screaming at me isn’t going to get her back. I’m sure she’s already affected mentally, being terrified and all, but physically, they can’t chance harming her.”

“Why? What do you mean they can’t chance harming her?”

“The Tirates want to sway you, Aislinn. Bring you over to their side, to make you like them. If they physically hurt her, they would never be able to convince you of the benefit of joining them. I can assure you, all they want is information.” His words made me feel a tiny bit better when it came to Jaden, but not when it came to me. I’d already passed my test. Why did they think I would swing their way?

“Alexander,” I pleaded. “I need to know more. Please. Who are these people? Not just their title, what are they about? What are you about? Why would they want to sway me to their side?” Then I paused. Did my parents’ secret have anything to do with what was happening now? I took a deep breath. “And what is it my parents are hiding from me?”

Alexander seemed taken aback. “I have no idea what your parents are hiding from you, though the Jarwin did give me warning they would be there.

“As far as the Tirates go, we should really talk in person. I wasn’t ready to tell you all of this yet, but now I have no choice. I’ll have to consult the Jarwin before we can speak freely on the Tirates.

“I know your parents just got there, and probably want to spend time with you, but do you think they’ll mind if you go out tonight? Then we can meet somewhere. Discuss things.”

“I’ll work something out. I’ll call later, and we can decide where to meet. What time?” I was solemn, troubled.

“Let’s make it eight.”

“Alexander? Can I ask one more thing?” I hesitated, not sure if he’d be angry.

“Of course.”

“How do I change?” My voice came out like a whisper. “I tried just a bit ago, but I couldn’t do it. What am I doing wrong?”

“You did what?” He shouted into the phone. “Do you have a death wish? If getting your ex-friend back means you’re going to act without thinking, then maybe you should leave this to the adults!”

I began to shake again. What the hell was his problem? I took a deep breath.

“If you ever speak to me like that again, it will be the last time.” My own words were icy now. I was done with his attitude. I wanted to ask if he knew where the broken windmill might be, but quickly changed my mind.

There was only silence coming through the phone, and an occasional deep breath until he finally spoke. “I’m sorry.”

“Thank you. Now can we talk without yelling?”

“Yes.” He was humble.

“Why couldn’t I change?”

“You change when your DNA is coded to, like a timer. Most people will choose it close to their birthday, but not everyone. According to my guides, your change will be on your next birthday. Until then, you won’t be able to shift.”

“Great.” I sighed.

“That is why I must go now and meet with the Jarwin.” Alexander kept calm. “You dreamt of yourself in the changed state, but this can’t be right. I’ll call Kiera to the meeting as well and have her fill Hope in on what’s happened. Try to relax for now, and please, don’t attempt to shift again. You need to know what these people are capable of. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Okay,” I sighed. I felt left hanging, like I had left Cooper feeling. “I’ll wait.”

REVELATIONS

I
forced myself upstairs to talk to Mom and Dad. They were both sitting on the couch, the TV on, but neither of them watching.

“Hey, guys?” My words came out slowly, hesitantly. I didn’t want to let them know I had heard their conversation. “I know you are here now, but I had a date planned for eight tonight. Will that be an issue?”

“Oh, hey, Aislinn. That’s fine, dear. We weren’t expecting you until tomorrow anyway. How was your nap?” Mom didn’t look up at me. I could still see dampness in her eyes.

“Good, thanks for asking, but I’m really hungry now.”

“Oh! Sorry! Let me get you some food.” Mom jumped off the couch and headed for the kitchen. She returned with food in hand, trying to hide her face.

“Mom?” I cleared my throat. “Are you still crying? I see no onions.”

“I’m not!” she blurted out.

I tried to be comforting. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. I promise I won’t freak out.”

Mom looked up at me suspiciously and then gave Dad the angriest death-warmed-over look imaginable.

“Benjamin!” She screeched, and I covered my ears.

Dad quickly put his arms up in submission. “I didn’t say anything, I swear!”

Then the glares turned to me. “Mom, you’re scaring me. What’s the deal?”

“You really don’t know?” she muttered.

“Know what?”

“Where did you really get that Celtic stuff?” She looked straight into my soul now, pleading for truth.

“The shop in town, Mom,” I defended myself. “What’s the big deal?”

“It’s a big deal, because…” She broke off, collapsing onto the couch.

“Because I’m half Irish?” I interjected.

Mom sat up straight. “Who told you that?”

“Well, first off, Grams left me something Celtic that had been in the family for generations. Second, the storekeeper told me that the box handed down to me was very special. It could only be passed to someone who is at least half Irish. The woman assumed me to be Irish, and I didn’t think about it too much until you reacted the way you did,” I admitted. “I don’t see why it’s such a big deal. So which one of you is Irish?”

Both of them looked at me, more solemn and serious than I had ever seen them. Their eyes darted back and forth to one another, but they didn’t answer.

“Guys… You’re making me nervous. What’s going on?” I unwillingly sat up straighter, as if a bomb might drop at a moment’s notice.

“Neither,” Dad said carefully, waiting for me get the full impact of his admission.

I sat there, utterly dumbfounded. What did he mean
neither
? That wasn’t possible. How could I be Irish if neither of them was? But before I could even finish the thought, my heart told me how it was possible.

Feeling the numbness slowly consume me, I let my gaze wander to the window. Who the hell was I?

“Neither of you are Irish, but I am?”

“Correct,” Dad said smoothly.

Rage filled me. I could barely breathe. Air, I needed fresh air. I looked up at my dad, who was still staring blankly from across the room. I knew they loved me. They had sacrificed their whole lives to prove that. So why had they lied?

My head pounded and I squinted, trying to keep from exploding. I wasn’t theirs? Why had I never dreamed about this?

Dad could see me agonizing over the possibilities in my head. He walked cautiously toward me and placed his hand on my back. The warmth and comfort immediately helped. He
was
my dad, biological or not. I wanted to hear what they had to say, their explanation.

“Aislinn,” Dad whispered. “Please know that we love you deeply. You mean the world to us. Try to understand. We only kept this from you for your safety.” Dad kneeled down so he could see me face to face.

“My safety?” My voice cracked as I tried to speak. The heaviness of his revelation hit my chest like a punching bag.

“Yes.” He sat up a little. “I know you have a date, but I think you should at least hear us out first. Then you can have some time to think things over. Does that sound fair?”

I nodded.

Dad sat back, and Mom joined him, still too upset to talk. I could see fear in her empty eyes, and I remembered what she’d said earlier.
What if she leaves us?
Now I understood. She was afraid I would be angry and leave them.

He cleared his throat. “When you were a baby, you lived in Ireland with your mom. Your biological mom,” he corrected. “Her name was Relina. You look very much like her, but she had green eyes, not blue. Relina and Holly were very good friends. They met as pen pals in grade school and kept in touch pretty much their whole lives.

“When Relina had you, she called us, ecstatic. Holly and I went to see her. We had just been married at the time. Relina asked if Holly and I would be your godparents. We agreed.

“I’m sorry we don’t know who your father is. Relina didn’t even know for sure. She hinted that there had been force involved, and that in return for something terrible, she got you. She called you her savior.

“But when you were two, Relina called us in a panic. She said that there was an emergency and to come right away. We had difficulty booking the flight at the last minute, but we managed. Relina sounded in dire need.

“By the time we got to Relina’s house, she was gone. We found you in a playpen with a bag packed and a note. She told us in the note not to tell you about her until you were about this age, and that she wasn’t coming back.

“She wanted us to bring you here and pretend you were our own. Her letter stated that you were in danger if anyone found out you were hers. So we lied to you all these years. To keep you safe from whoever took your mother.” He quivered as he spoke. I could tell that whatever he’d seen had shaken him to his core.

“What do you mean whoever took my mother?”

“We can’t be sure, but we think someone abducted her. When we got to you, Relina’s clothes were on the floor, like they had just fallen where she stood. And nothing appeared to be missing. Not her purse or shoes, jacket or bags… Nothing. In the bag she had packed for you were some clothes and family heirlooms that we will gladly give to you now that you know, but she just disappeared.”

“So you have no idea what happened to her?” I asked nervously. Had she been like me?

“No,” he sighed. “I’m sorry, but we have no information. We don’t think she was missing for long, because you had a clean diaper, but we don’t know for sure. Her family, your family in Ireland, reported her missing. But nothing ever came of it.”

“I have family there? In Ireland?” My voice raised an octave as I realized that these distant family members could know more about me.

“Yes,” Mom spoke finally. “In Limerick.”

“And you have no idea who my dad is? Or if he was some kind of jerk?”

“No idea about either. I suspect your mother knew your father well, but for some reason, she preferred telling people she didn’t. Relina seemed adamant about that. So we respected her wishes and didn’t push to find out.” Dad spoke again. I realized part of the problem with Mom was that she didn’t like having to call someone else my mother.

I sat back, letting all of the information smack me in the face. My whole life, I’d believed that these were my parents. The sudden realization that they weren’t bothered me.

They had never let me discuss my dreams, or things I saw, like ghosts. Everything was always “evil” or “in my imagination.” But these things weren’t. They were real, and now I finally understood why my parents had not. They really didn’t know what I knew. We were foreigners living as family.

Everything fell into place. I wasn’t a freak of nature, just different from those who raised me. As I thought about my other family, the one I didn’t know yet, my heart began to race.

“Dad?” I kept my voice steady. “Who was Grams?”

“Your grandmother as far as we could tell.” He paused for a moment to rub Mom’s arm, trying to make her feel more comfortable. It didn’t seem to work.

“After we adopted you, we brought you here. We didn’t even have your birth certificate. Things were different where Relina lived. We had difficulties trying to get information on you. So we kept your first name, but gave you a new middle name and our last name.

“We also had to give you a new birth date. You weren’t a newborn when we first met you, so we only knew your approximate age. Immigration picked a day for you, since we could only guess.” Dad looked at me to make sure I wasn’t freaking out. The look on his face gave me comfort. He smiled gently and continued. “Really, we have no idea to this day how Grams even found us. The only information anyone had was that you came to North America, but nothing else. No one knew who Holly and I were. No one knew where to look for you. Nevertheless, one day, Grams showed up claiming to be your grandmother.

“She wouldn’t tell us whose side of the family she belonged to, but Grams gave us very intimate information about your birth, like she had been there. Relina told Holly things back then, details that Grams verified. So we believed her. But it took a long time before we began to trust her. She could only visit with you at our house, for your safety. You two were so close, both Holly and I could tell that you knew her already. Plus, she agreed that the safest place for you was with us. So she began to earn our trust. It devastated all of us when she passed.

“In fact, we didn’t even know she had passed until she didn’t show up for one of your visits. She had no phone for us to reach her. We only found out because there was an article in the newspaper about an elderly woman who died in her home, in her sleep. The newspaper said her name was Olivia Shulsh, the same name Grams gave us when she first came.”

I wanted to tell Mom and Dad that I wouldn’t leave them, that they had been wonderful parents despite the new revelation of their dishonesty. I wanted to tell them that I loved them, and thank them for taking such good care of me. The fact that they had never accepted my gifts didn’t seem to matter anymore, now that I had a reason why they couldn’t understand.

I closed my eyes and tried to picture all the memories I had with them. Holidays, vacations, times when Mom stayed up all night long when I was sick, taking care of me. Then I tried to focus on earlier memories. Back with my other mother. I searched and searched, but came up empty. At the age of two, there was a possibility that I could have formed some memories. But nothing came.

After taking a deep and slow breath, I opened my eyes. “Mom, Dad, I want you to know that even though I’m upset, I’m not angry with you. Your honesty will really help me. I’ve been…” I looked away from them to get my words straight before I continued, “remembering things… things that really didn’t make any sense until now. So thank you for finally telling me. I appreciate it.

“I also want to say that I love you both. As far as I’m concerned, you are my parents. But I do have other family, and I can’t promise that I’ll never want to visit them or find out more about them one day. I will not just up and disappear, though. There’s no reason for you to be concerned.

“It’s hard to see each other very often now anyway, living so far away. So don’t worry. If the time comes that I want to visit Ireland, I won’t stay forever. You are my family, the only one I’ve known. I could never just walk away from you. Okay?” I tried desperately to keep my voice steady, but it cracked several times.

Part of me wanted to cry and run from the house, screaming at the top of my lungs. My head just couldn’t keep up. Especially with the worry over Jaden added to the mix. But I stayed strong.

Mom looked up at me with a soft and appreciative half-smile. It looked forced, but she wanted me to know that she was trying. She pulled me into her. Dad wrapped his arms around me from the opposite side, and before I knew it, they were giving me a double bear hug.

Feeling time slip by, I pulled out of the hug and tried to regain composure. I wiped my face, just in case any tears had snuck out. I needed to snap myself out of the funk to focus on Alexander and what he had to tell me.

Mom touched my cheek. “Thank you.” She spoke softly, more calm now.

“For what?”

“For not leaving us, for not being angry with us, and for loving us still, even if you didn’t come from us.” Mom’s voice shook. I could tell she was still trying to keep a cap on her emotions. My reaction to the news had definitely helped.

“I could never just disregard all the things you’ve done to show me that you love me, despite not being my biological parents.” I wanted to ask why they had never had more kids, kids of their own, but that could wait.

Both Mom and Dad grinned, pleased with my response.

“We love you, Aislinn,” Dad said proudly.

“I know.” My chest warmed.

“Do you still want to go out tonight?” he asked. “Or would you rather stay home and let things sink in? I promise you can ask us anything. We’ll try to answer as best we can.”

I considered his offer, but I needed to go out, especially with the information about my actual birth date being a mystery. Alexander needed to know.

“Actually, Dad, I think it would help me to go out. I’m not taking off, don’t worry.” I smirked in a teasing fashion. “But it would help to get out of the situation for a while and digest all that you revealed.”

“Okay,” he said gently. “Whatever you need.”

I looked at the clock. Seven-thirty.

“I need to get going.”

Mom and Dad both nodded as I pulled away. I hurried downstairs and grabbed a few things, just in case I needed to be out all night. As I came back up the stairs, both Mom and Dad were waiting eagerly at the top.

“I might stay out late, so don’t wait up,” I said, hoping they wouldn’t get all parental on me.

“No problem,” Mom replied. “We know you aren’t used to having us around, so do what you would normally do.”

“Can I ask something before I go?”

“Sure,” Mom replied.

“Do you two remember where that old white building with the windmill is?”

Mom narrowed her eyes, as if she couldn’t understand why I was asking. “I think it’s out past the state park. I can’t be certain. Too much time has passed since I was there.”