The Heaven I Found In Hell (15 page)

I erased the latter part of my solution, and redid it. When I was finally done answering, I handed the piece of paper back to her, and hoped I did the right thing. She breathed out a sigh of relief, before she gave me a grin. "You're not so dumb and bad after all."

I curved my lips upward, and snickered at her. "First impressions don't last."

"Yes, but I have to tell you, even if we're seeing eye-to-eye now, doesn't mean I can share with you already."

Huh?

I looked at her questioningly, before I understood what she meant. 
She wants Nathan all to herself…

But no!
 The voice inside my head shouted. 
How can I ignore such a good, hot person? And we have that whole 'Help Anthony' thing, and even though he is always out right after school, we still hang out always at the night with Riley. We've been flirting…okay…you can't really call it flirting since we just tease each other, but still…I think I'm starting to want to make-out with him…maybe even sleep with him…then dump him…? I don't know. Why do commitments have to exist anyway?

"Oh…right. Yeah, yeah…don't worry." I told her hesitantly, while I scratched the back of my head. She cocked one of her eyebrows up at me, and patted my left shoulder.

"Good. I'll see you next Tuesday to continue this lesson."

I nodded at her, and was about to leave until she called me back. She took out a piece of paper with a new set of problems, and I mentally cursed her and myself. I took the paper, folded it twice, and looked up at her.

"Just give that to me tomorrow morning, I already have the answers, so I can tell you right away if you have a chance of passing the test…or maybe acing it."

"Acing a test?" I asked her in disbelief.

"It's only the basics…" She said, shrugging her shoulders. "And besides that's like one plus one…"

"Right…since you're taking AP Calculus, right?" I asked, sensing that she was about to start becoming conceited again. She shook her head, before she answered with a laugh.

"No, I'm already taking college-level lessons in Math."

"Tell me, Nathan…" I started, looking up at him. He returned my curious look with one of his own.

We were in my dorm room, waiting for Riley to come back from her meeting before we grabbed dinner at the nearby pizzeria. And while waiting, I tried to do the exercises Cindy gave me, with the help of Nathan of course. So far, I've answered six out of ten questions correctly. Of course, I made errors, but Nathan quickly found them, and corrected them. Even though Nathan wasn't in AP Calculus (he was my classmate, duh), he was still smart, and to prove it, he had AP World History, AP European Literature, AP U.S. Government and Politics, and of course, college-level Chemistry. He was hot, athletic, smart…and conceited.

"Tell you what?" He asked, as he got the paper I had on my lap, and checked if my answer to problem number seven was right.

"How can a slut be a nerd at the same time?"

Nathan immediately laughed at my question, before he turned to me, and gave me a look of hilarity. I tried to slap his shoulder, but wasn't able to since he got a hold of my wrist and pulled me closer to him. We were on the couch, with my head now leaning on his shoulder, while his arm found its way around my waist. I slowly realized what we were doing, and immediately sat up. I removed my head from his shoulder, and took his arm off my waist. He gave me a look, which was a mixture of disappointment and anger, before he asked me why I did what I did.

"Cindy likes you, you know…" I told him, and I suddenly felt a tug at my heart.

I knew I shouldn't have let go of him since I had been waiting for something like this, an opportunity, but I had spent an hour with Cindy, and before we exchanged 'goodbye's, she clearly told me what, or in this case, who she wanted. Nathan.

It's Cindy...you guys aren't even close...

My inner-self told me, making me want to sin and lose my purity. Nathan ran a hand through his soft, well-shampooed hair, before he mouthed out an 'I know'.

"Yeah…so we better stop, before I lose my tutor again." I told him, sounding a little bit casual, though I felt myself stiffen at my words.

"I told you before I could tutor you!" He said, raising his voice. "Isn't that what I've been doing for the past half hour? And Cindy isn't even here!"

"Cindy's not the point."

"Yes, she is."

"No, the point is that we're acting like a couple when we're not even one in the first place!" I said, my voice matching his now.

He slouched down on the couch, and distanced himself away from me. I mentally gave myself the bird, and sighed.

I hated hurting his ego…

"What's wrong with what we did? Couples kiss…they make-out…my arm was just around you, and your head was just on my shoulder. What's wrong with that?"

"If Riley came in here the moment we did that, she'd probably be teasing us out of our minds." I told him, standing up from the couch now, as I walked in front of him back and forth in a fast pace.

I really didn't know why Nathan bothered me so much. Okay, he wasn't really a nuisance, but the things he did were. He could confuse the hell out of me in a matter of minutes, but still I would never get mad. He could also act so sweet, that it sometimes would give me unwanted feelings, and to add to that, these feelings didn't want to leave anymore. I exhaled for which was probably my fifth time tonight, before I turned my attention back to the boy who was looking at me with disappointment. The more I got baffled. Of all the expressions in the world, why that? But before I could even ask myself questions, he decided to speak.

"Babe…"

Oh no.

"That's one more thing…you're not my boyfriend, so don't call me babe."

He screamed out a curse, before he stood up, and towered over me. He looked at me, and I saw anger flash through his eyes. Yes, apparently this was the time his eyes showed emotion, but I wasn't liking what his green orbs showed. I was surprised that he actually cursed 
me
, not because he cussed. I looked at him, open-mouthed, before I turned away, and tried to hide the frown that was slowly appearing on his face. He didn't see how sad I was.

"Have fun with your tutor." He said smugly, and was about to open the door and leave, if I hadn't wrap my arms around his waist from behind. He stopped immediately, and caught by surprise, asked me what was going on.

"Don't be mad at me." I said, my arms still around him "I hate it when that happens."

He closed the door, and turned around, so now I was facing his chest. I rested my head on it, and to my comfort, I felt his breathing. He hesitantly patted my shoulder, as I continued to hold him, grasping him tight. I knew he was confused with my sudden embrace which was lasting for more than what I expected, so I pulled away. I looked at him like a lost child.

"It's just…I hate the things you say sometimes." He said, laughing softly. "You know…you can be very sweet, but in some instances you make me want to kill you, like what happened a while ago."

I laughed softly at his words.

"It's just Cindy told me she wanted you…and Blake, but you especially…and she's actually being nice to me now…I don't want to ruin that."

He put his hands on my shoulders, as he looked me in the eyes. "But I want your hugs."

I couldn't stop smiling. I knew he was saying that in a friendly sort of way, but still...that simple sentence was something big for me. It made me hope...wish that maybe ...

"But Nathan…" I immediately said, stopping my own thoughts.

He was being so sweet right at this instance that it was hard for me to run away from him. He was acting like a...I'd hate to say it, but...he was acting like an almost-perfect boyfriend. The only thing that made him not completely faultless was that he wasn't with me.

"No…how about…" He started. "I go out with her…once only! So she won't suspect a thing. It's just a date anyway, and Cindy can be so shallow at times, no matter how high her GPA is."

"Are you're just doing this for my hugs?" I asked him skeptically. "Or maybe you really like her…"

He gave me a disgusted face, and asked me if I was serious as hell. Of course, I nodded, and mouthed out a 'yes,' before he started giving me an explanation I didn't really need.

"I just want to go on a date with her so she wouldn't suspect anything about us…"

I coughed at the word 'us.'

"No.'us'." I pointed out, stopping after every word for emphasis.

He laughed lightly at me before he positioned himself against the wall. I stood in front of him with my arms crossed over my breasts as I tapped my foot repeatedly, waiting for an answer. I knew that we looked stupid arguing with each other, but a while after, we'd be saying sweet things, but this was just how Nathan and I were. Random, shallow, and we hated making each other angry, so we'd end up saying something nice, or hugging.

"Yes, we have our friendship with each other…
anyway…
" He continued with a roll of his eyes. "Hugs and kisses on the cheeks can be friendly, you know…but some people get wrong ideas. If I give you a friendly hug, Cindy might think something in between the lines of flirting and liking as more than a friend, and I don't want anyone to think I like you as more than a friend, because you're such a great friend to me, but not hugging you, and not calling you 'babe' aren't even going to be possibilities…and they never will be…"

I frowned unnoticeably when he said...'...I don't want anyone to think I like you as more than a friend...'...because of that simple...stupid...fu...sentence, all my hopes of him liking me back came crashing down on moi. It hurt really...even though I knew that he considered me as someone special to him...a best friend. I really didn't know what to feel anymore...should I be happy because we're really great friends, or should I frown because that's all we'll ever be?

I sighed...again. All this thinking made me feel like crap.

"Continue..."

"So…I'll go ask Cindy for a date, and only one date…and I'll expect a hug from you after Cindy and I go out, 'kay since you're a good friend to me? Right?" He asked with a small childish smile that I found so, so cute.

When I didn't answer, he nagged me again. "Will you give your best friend a hug?"

"Maybe." I said with a tiny mischievous smile.

"You're not a great friend after all!" He whined, acting like a little kid that I just wanted to cuddle. Still with his back against the wall, he tried to pull me closer to him, and envelop me into a 'friendly' hug.

"Have you noticed…you've been repeating the word 'friends' over and over again…?” I said, hugging him only for a couple of seconds until I pulled myself away from him.