The Heaven I Found In Hell (9 page)

"You're going to thank us someday." Nathan said, gifting me with a forced smile.

I pondered his words carefully, and couldn't help but snicker. Cocking an eyebrow up at me, he wondered and questioned the expression on my face. Anthony remained at the far part of the bathroom, listening to the conversation.

"I'm going to be happy by not having fun?" I asked, and later on I added, "And I'm supposed to thank you guys for that?"

"We're not telling you to stop having fun." Anthony said, speaking for the first time since we got to the comfort room, arms falling lazily beside him.

"Then tell me what you guys mean, because I don't want to waste my time pondering on something that is against my beliefs." I said, with a smug expression.

I knew they were just trying to help, but the both of them acting like my mom and taking control over me is something too much. They've crossed the line and even after countless times of showing them that I wasn't amused with their help, they still continued, and wouldn't let go.

"Alex, what you do now will affect your future, and the decisions you make that are not thought about carefully may lead to regret later on."

"Wow, Nathan…" I said, mock-impressed. "I didn't know you were such an Einstein."

"Alex…" He said in the same tone that kept telling me he was pissed but was just trying to hide it. I heard Anthony let out a sigh for the nth time tonight, but he didn't talk. I figured it was all Nathan in this, and Anthony was just pulled by Nathan to get me out of that whole kissing scene, judging by the way Nathan was being insightful all throughout the conversation while Anthony just agreed to the things his friend said.

"Answer me this…what's ahead of you? I mean after you graduate and stuff." He said, resting a comforting hand on my lap. I let his hand linger there since it'd be rude of me if I swat it away, and besides…it was warm.

"Modeling contracts…" I said, looking away from him, as I surveyed the bathroom.

The design was very Earthy and Japanese-inspired. It was big compared to the usual bathrooms, but hey…this wasn't a usual bathroom. It was a comfortable room in the V.I.P section, only for the best. I laughed at that thought, and both the guys looked at me, confused. They must've thought I was an idiot to be laughing for no apparent reason.

"I just thought of something…sorry." I said quickly, before they nodded apprehensively at me.

"You're not taking this seriously…" Nathan said, getting uneasy for no apparent reason.

He Indian-sat on the floor, but still remained near me. His head stayed looking up, so as not to break the eye contact we were having.

"Yeah, I'm not. Because I get enough of this with my mom."

"Your mom?" He asked, particularly wondering why I didn't just say parents.

"Yes, only my mom, because she's the one always getting on my nerves, always telling me to think long-term, like you…" I said in an acidic tone.

"Don't be like that…I'm sure she's just doing that because she -…"

"Don't give me that crap, Nate." I said immediately, cutting him off.

I, apparently, like the both of them, got surprised because I called Nathan Nate, which was a first for me. Maybe Anthony's reasons for getting astonished were different from mine, and my reasons were different from Nathan, but all of us still got taken aback. Anthony, who only spoke a word or two during this whole talk, decided to exit the bathroom.

"I'll leave you two…" He started. "I feel insignificant."

He opened the door, left, and closed it behind him, and Nathan and I stared at each other once again.

Where were we again…?

"Just stop acting like my mother, please?" I asked, hoping for a small nod and leave everything at that, but no. Heaven and all good things weren't on my side since Nathan just continued.

"Your mom loves you…"

"Is that why she sent me to boarding school?" I asked. "Huh?"

"She just wants you to have the best future you can possibly have…"

"Nathan we're getting way off topic. How did we get from talking about relationships and move on to my mother's love for me, which I haven't felt until now?"

"The way you and your mother treat each other 
is 
a relationship…" He said, breathing heavily. I stood up from the toilet bowl and sat down on the floor beside him, so our gazes were at the same level.

"And by the way you talked about your mom I could see that you don't take what you guys have seriously…"

I gave him an 'hmph', before saying, "Look who's talking…you're acting like your parents are there for you 24/7. I know what kind of family you have, Nathan…"

I saw anger in his eyes, as I continued.

"Your parents are always away on business trips. They're never there on special occasions, but even when they are…they don't spend time with you. Am I right?"

I furthered myself away from him when he spoke through gritted teeth.

"Just shut up."

I widened my eyes, and asked, "Weren't you the one giving me a sermon a while ago, and now you're telling me to 'shut up'?"

Surprisingly he softened. Guessing that two angry people in a bathroom would be the perfect ingredients for chaos, he sighed (again), before he talked to me in a more good-natured way.

"I…just…I didn't like it when I saw you oompa-loomping that stranger…" He said. Remembering the movie Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, the word oompa-loomping lightened the air around us, making me smile.

"Were you jealous?" I asked, in a tone of apathy. Maybe I was curious, but I wasn't teasing him. I still didn't forget the part where he acted like he was older, and knew more about this world than I did. Both of us were eighteen, and he had been in boarding school for the past Lord-knows-how-long, while I had traveled the globe, meeting different kinds of people. By that, it sounded like I knew more to life, but maybe he had a few points…

All the time I was globetrotting, all I cared about was modeling, money, and parties. I forgot about what real living was. But hey…I wasn't going to admit to him he's right and I'm wrong. No way…

"As a friend, I consider you as someone special.”

F-Y-I that didn't make me blush.
 
I'm cold as a stone whenever angered.

I simply glared at him.

"And since you're my sister's roommate, I care for you more…and I want you to know I'm just doing this because I want to be a good friend…" He said, smiling.

Was he trying to blind me and make me agree with him by smiling and telling me how much he cares blah, blah, blah…? A-hole.

"Well F-Y-I…next time you want to be a good friend just let me kiss who I want to kiss…" I said, disdainfully. "Don't tell one of your friends to pull me out, okay?"

I stood up from the floor, which I sat on, and wanted to leave, but he got a hold of my hand. He tried to pull me down, and when I didn't budge, he stood up, before he rested his hands on my shoulder.

"Alex, you can't just kiss and leave, you know. People have feelings."

"Well, this is what I call having fun, and if ever someone got hurt, it's his fault because he returned the kiss. It's his problem if he took it as something more than a hook-up."

Nathan exhaled for the millionth time ever since our 'talk' started. He started to move in his place, and now, he couldn't look me in the eye. Why was he caring so much? We've only known each other for a week?

"Are you never going to take anything, aside from your career, seriously?"

He let go of his hands on my shoulders, as he let them fall lethargically beside his waist. The warmth I felt was now gone, and I was sort of missing his touch, or anyone's touch.

I contemplated his question, but not very thoughtfully. "My answer's no, especially when it comes to dating…"

He looked up from the floor, and once again focused his hazel-green eyes on me. I knew he wanted ask why, but he didn't want to come out as desperate or too meddlesome, so I just told him my reasonable and non-debatable answer, non-debatable according to me.

"Of course you know I travel a lot…?"

He nodded.

"I don't believe in long-distance relationships, and I don't want to be with a guy a million miles away from me, while I'm in Paris, in a club, sipping cocktails with my girl friends, while we're surrounded by gorgeous models, actors, and heirs to million-dollar or even billion-dollar fortunes."

I knew he understood what I was trying to say since he had that thoughtful look on his face. I nodded to myself, and continued.

"I'm not being apathetic, insensitive, or ignorant of other people's feelings…I just don't want to keep myself, and the guy I'm dating hoping…hoping that it's going to work…because it won't."

"Have you ever tried to make it work?" It was the first time he talked since I started my explanation.

"What's the use of trying if I know it's not going to end in a Happily Ever After…"

"You're such a pessimist."

He didn't smile when he called me that, and I felt my insides flip. How can one kiss…okay, fine…it wasn't just a one-second peck…but still, how can a twenty-minute make-out session end up with two people reasoning out and defending each other's thinking? And besides, I wasn't used to serious Nathan…it was scary…

"Nathan, don't tell me to try…" I said. "Because once I get out of Ridgeway I'm back to my old life…I'll be partying, I'll be rounding the globe meeting hundreds of new people. I'll be modeling. I'll be drinking. I'll be kissing, okay? And no one's going to pull me out…"

"You're not going to change are you? You're just going to be breaking hearts and such, right?" He asked, as he looked repeatedly from the floor to me.

I swear, why was he thinking so hard?

"I'm not changing just because I got sent to boarding school." I told him in all honesty. "And yes, if you want to put it that way, I'll be breaking hearts."

He nodded, opened the bathroom door, and left me to replay in my head the quick events that had taken place.

The night ended with me getting extremely drunk, riding with Blake in his Lamborghini, and sleeping with him.

I knew this was going to make Cindy hate me more, but I was drunk as hell, and Blake wasn't like Anthony, nor was he like Nathan. Blake wasn't going to stop, and tell me, "Hey, but I think this is wrong. You won't remember this the next day, so why should we? And I think you're going to regret it blah, blah, blah." I'd be dreaming if Blake did that, but he didn't. Instead, he continued, and just continued.