The Hero's Guide to Saving Your Kingdom (36 page)

“Of course,” Liam said, playing innocent, although he was still gazing moony-eyed at Ella. “We thought you escaped days ago.”

“You were right. But I came back for the map,” Ella said. “Please tell me you found it.”

“I did.” Liam showed them the rolled-up parchment.

“Do you know what’s on that map?” Ella asked. “The witch has prisoners in those towers.”

“Aha! Just as I suspected!” Liam said.

“Well, it didn’t take much guesswork,” Duncan said. “She’d written ‘prisoner’—”

“Just as I suspected,” Liam repeated, cutting him off. “So with you free, we have five more people to rescue.”

“Four,” Ella said. “I already rescued one.”

“You did?” Liam leaned his elbow on a nearby sarcophagus and brushed his fingers through his hair, trying to look casually dashing. “You’re a very impressive woman.”

“Thanks. But, anyway, her prisoners are all bards,” Ella said. “The witch is striking at the very heart of our world’s entertainment industry. She’s planning to kill the bards as part of some huge demented spectacle.”

“I know. She’s going to do it today,” Liam said. “That’s why
I
insisted we come back here to get the map. The others were ready to call it quits, but
I
said—”

“The
others
—oh, my goodness,” Ella said breathlessly. “Is
Frederic
really with you?”

“Yes, Frederic, that’s right,” Liam said. He lowered his voice, feeling somewhat ashamed for flirting with his friend’s fiancée. But at the same time he thought, how could he help himself? Ella was just, like, you know,
wow
.

“Yes,” Duncan butted in. He didn’t like what he was seeing. Liam seemed to be smitten with Ella. “
Frederic
is actually the reason we’re all here.
He
found us all and got us together to come after you in the first place. It was
his
idea.” He shot a disapproving look at Liam, who gave a sheepish shrug in return.

“So who are you people?” Ella asked.

“We are the League of Princes Charming,” Duncan offered eagerly.

“No, League of
Princes
,” Liam cut in. “Just League of Princes.”

“Fine,” Duncan conceded. “But we
are
all Princes Charming.”

“Is that how Frederic got hooked up with you? Because of him being called Prince Charming in that song about me?” Ella asked.

“Exactly!” Duncan beamed. “And I’m from the Snow White song.”

Ella turned to Liam, who was looking a bit red-faced. “And what about you? Whose Prince Charming are you?” She nudged Liam playfully with her elbow.

“Sleeping Beauty’s,” Liam reluctantly admitted. “But don’t believe everything you’ve heard about me.”

“I haven’t heard much of anything about anybody lately,” Ella said. “I’ve been a bit preoccupied.”

“Really?” Liam asked. “So there’s nothing you think you know about me? Prince Liam from Erinthia? You haven’t heard any rumors?”

“Nope,” Ella said.

“So as far as you’re concerned, I’m just a guy bravely risking his own life in order to save the lives of others.”

“Oh, wait—Erinthia! Yes!”

“I knew it,” he muttered glumly.

“Your sister is looking for you,” Ella said.

“Lila?”

“Yeah, she’s a great kid.”

“How do you know—”

Duncan stomped his foot and said, “We should really go outside now and make sure FREDERIC is okay.”

“You’re right; let’s go,” Ella said. She found it touching that Frederic had gone through the trouble of getting these other princes to search for her, and she didn’t want to see him get into any kind of real trouble on her behalf. “Where is Frederic, anyway? Keeping lookout in the trees or something?”

“No, he’s out there distracting the giant,” Duncan said.

“The giant?” Ella gasped, and gave Liam a shove. “You left Frederic with a giant? Are you trying to kill him?”

“He can handle it,” Liam protested. “Trust me, he’s changed.”

“You’re a lunatic,” Ella cried. “Frederic’s afraid of dust bunnies! We have to go help him, right now!” She shoved Liam aside and ran toward the exit. But just as she reached the doors, she heard a sizzling sound and a cry of pain from behind her. She turned to see Liam on the ground, clutching his chest. Zaubera stood in an open doorway, smiling wickedly. She raised her hand and zapped Liam again with a crackling streak of blue energy.

“So nice that you came back to pay old Zaubera another visit,” the witch said. Her red and black rags fluttered as an unnatural wind stirred up around her.

Ella shivered with the terrifying realization that the witch was even more powerful than she’d previously thought. She also realized that the witch was apparently not named Wendy. But that was less terrifying.

“Leave him alone!” Ella cried, running back to Liam’s side. “Take me. I’m the one you want!”

“Oh, don’t worry—you’re not going anywhere either, my little starlet,” Zaubera sneered. She nailed Ella with a blast of sorcerous lightning, sending her to the floor next to Liam.

“You despicable fiend,” Liam hissed from his place on the ground.

“You didn’t think I was going to let Prince Charming run in here and steal away my Cinderella, did you?” Zaubera said.

“How does she know who you are?” Duncan asked, flabbergasted.

Zaubera looked at Liam. “Aha,” she said with a green-toothed smile. “
You’re
the one. Frankly, I assumed it would be you. The other three are kind of … you know.”

Liam reached up and thrust the map into Duncan’s hands. “Remember the plan, Duncan,” he sputtered. “Take it. Go!”

Without a word, Duncan sped off with the map. He ran, not toward the exit, but straight into a nearby wall. He bounced backward a few steps, spun around, and ran behind a large rack of magic wands, where he spilled over a table full of jarred frogs with a crash and a clatter.

“There’s no way out over there,” the witch called out helpfully.

A second later, Duncan burst back into view and dashed out through the main doors.

Zaubera rubbed her hands together and grinned devilishly. “I have Cinderella
and
Prince Charming!”

“Ha!” Liam shouted. He and Ella were both still on the floor, too sore and winded to attempt a getaway. “My friend just escaped with your map,
witch
. Your evil plot is foiled.”

“Oh, really?” Zaubera said, sounding rather amused. “Did you notice I made no attempt to stop him?”

“Face it,
witch
: You’ve lost,” Liam said. “With that map, my friends will free the bards in no time.”

“You mean
these
bards?” Zaubera asked. She snapped her bony fingers, and four dark-purple vines descended from the ceiling. At the end of each, wrapped up in coils of slithering ivy, was a kidnapped bard. Lyrical Leif, Tyrese the Tuneful, Wallace Fitzwallace, and Reynaldo, Duke of Rhyme, all gagged by curling ivy, stared plaintively at Liam and Ella.

“Crud,” Liam muttered.

“Yes, crud indeed,” Zaubera grinned. “I’ve had it up to here with the libelous, inaccurate story-songs of these mewling melody-makers. They ruined my reputation, and I’m finally going to get my payback.”

“You’re insane,
witch
,” Ella said. “You’re going to slaughter these men just because they told the world how Rapunzel escaped from you?”

“Rapunzel never escaped from me!” Zaubera shrieked. “I
let
that little hooligan go! No one escapes Zaubera!”

“Um,” Liam interrupted. “Actually, we all have at least once.”

“NO ONE ESCAPES ZAUBERA!” the witch yelled even louder. “And anyway, I’m not going to kill the bards. I need them to witness my massacre and sing to the world about it. No, the bards are my publicity team. I’m going to kill everybody else. With the help of you two, of course.” The moving vines whisked the bards out of sight.

“We’ll never help you,
witch
!” Ella spat.

“You all say ‘witch’ like it’s an insult,” Zaubera said. “I
am
a witch. And anyway, yours is not exactly a voluntary position.”

Zaubera snapped her fingers again. Purple vines snaked swiftly along the floor and wrapped themselves around Liam and Ella.

“Come,” Zaubera said. “I’m taking you and your boyfriend upstairs now.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Ella said.

“Yeah, I’m not her, uh, what you said…,” Liam mumbled.

“Boyfriend, fiancée … whatever,” Zaubera sniffed. “You’re Cinderella and Prince Charming—that’s all the heroes are going to care about.”

Liam and Ella cast each other confused glances, neither understanding what the witch meant. Zaubera started up the spiral staircase to her tower observatory. The wriggling vines followed, dragging her prisoners with them. “You should feel privileged, really,” the witch said. “This is going to be the biggest massacre in recorded history, and you two get to be the headlining victims.”

“You’re forgetting one thing, witch,” Liam said. “My friends.”

Zaubera chuckled. “If the rest of your pals are anything like that little fellow who couldn’t find the exit, I’m not too concerned.”

27

P
RINCE
C
HARMING
G
ETS
G
OOD
N
EWS AND
B
AD
N
EWS

D
uncan burst out into the fading sunlight and zipped straight around to the back of the fortress to find Gustav. He kept his eyes closed, hoping that would prevent the giant from seeing him as he dashed by.

“Finally!” Gustav said, standing up and sheathing his sword. “Do you know how bored I’ve been?”

“The witch got Liam and Ella!” Duncan cried.

“Criminy Pete!” Gustav cursed. “Can’t that goody-goody do anything right? Wait, did you say Ella?”

“But look, I got the map!” Duncan added.

“Well, that’s dandy,” Gustav said. “But how do we beat the giant when the dragon is still asleep?”

Duncan looked over Gustav’s shoulder. “Um,” he said. “The dragon’s not asleep.”

The freshly awakened dragon roared and whipped its tail into Gustav from behind. Gustav slammed into Duncan, and both men tumbled to the ground. The creature reared over them, about to let loose with a powerful gust of flame.
If I die like this,
Gustav thought,
I’ll never live it down
.

But before the men could be flash-fried, they heard a gruff voice yell something in a language they didn’t understand. The dragon backed away from them.

“Banchuk!”

“Grut!”

“Tchaka!”
More strange commands rang out, each in a different grumbly voice. The dragon got down on all fours and swerved around. Gustav and Duncan scrambled to their feet.

Leaning against the tower wall, catching their breath, they were awestruck by what they saw. The dwarfs, Flik, Frak, and Frank, surrounded the dragon, barking bizarre foreign words and making mysterious hand gestures.

The dragon began to calm down.

“Frank?” Duncan called out.

Frank held a finger up to shush him, never taking his eyes off the dragon.

“Banchuk! Grut!”
The dragon lowered its head. Flik walked right up and pet its nose. The beast closed its reptilian eyes, and though Gustav wasn’t quite sure, he thought he heard it purr.

Frank sauntered over to the princes.

“What are you two staring at?” he asked. “Dwarves are
expert
dragon tamers.”