The Hit List (11 page)

But I don’t have a better answer. “I’m not really sure, but I wouldn’t recommend it.”

She slides off the bed and walks to her computer. “You’re stressed. You shouldn’t be this stressed.”

I couldn’t agree more. “I’m fine. I’m just adjusting.”

“I know it’s hard to dance with someone new and this might sound insensitive, but you kind of have to get over it.”

I glare at her. Just because we had a moment of sharing doesn’t mean she knows anything about me. “You’re right. That sounds extremely insensitive.”

She sighs. “That’s not how I meant it. If you’re having problems, we need to find someone else you can dance with. Then you can practice and be okay when you’re in class.”

She makes it sound so easy. Because I have so much extra time in my ten-hour days filled with dancing and other classes. Those few spare minutes at night when I half-ass my homework don’t really matter. I’m sure I could spare some of those.

“I don’t have time to dance with someone else. And I don’t need to dance with someone else.”

Luke’s my partner, and like it or not, I need to get over my shit and just dance with him. No matter how hard it might be for me.

She shrugs. “Fine. No one’s going to say anything about it. Not everyone gets along with their partner, but we all need to rehearse.”

It’s tempting, but there isn’t anyone else I’d want to partner with. Being with Luke isn’t the issue. It’s having a partner at all. I just don’t want to do it.

“Adam would probably be willing to help you out, if you want. You just have to ask.” She swivels back and forth in her chair.

It’s not a bad idea. I’d already requested Adam as my partner anyway. She could have come up with something worse.

“It’s just a thought. You don’t have to. I’d prefer not to have to break in a new roommate when you end up leaving because you can’t figure this partner stuff out, but whatevs.” A look of indifference crosses her face, but I can see the little worry lines creasing her forehead as she stares out the window.

It won’t hurt me to try. Hopefully.

As much as it annoys me to admit that I might have to depend on someone else again, my need to do well in L. A. overpowers it. The longer I struggle with Luke, the faster London slips through my fingers. The sooner I’ll be forced to deal with what I’ll do when I don’t have dance anymore. I pull the door open and stare out into the hallway.

“See you later.” The corner of her mouth tips up briefly.

I don’t acknowledge her. If I stop now, I might not ask Adam at all. He’s my one chance to get this right. I don’t know what I’ll do if he doesn’t want to help me.

Adam’s room is down a different hall than ours. He opens the door as soon as I knock. “Hey.”

I glance into his room, trying to gauge whether I’m keeping him from doing something. “Can we talk?”

“Yeah.” He looks back into his room at his roommate. “But let’s go out. James is trying to study.”

“Hey, James.” I lean into the doorway and wave at him while Adam grabs his cell phone off his desk.

He waves back at me and jumps off the bed. “Hey, Sadie. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get dinner sometime?” He looks down at his feet when he’s finished talking, obviously nervous.

Adam coughs beside us as he tries to muffle his laughter. I elbow him in the ribs and his laughter turns to real coughing.

“That’s really sweet of you, James, but I’m so busy I don’t really have time to date. I’m sorry.” It’s not really a lie anymore, but I feel kind of bad saying no. James is probably the sweetest guy that’s asked me out in a long time. And the offer seems genuine coming from him. There’s no way someone as nice as him is involved with the people behind The Hit List.

James’s face drops. “Oh, that’s okay, just thought I’d ask.”

“I have the studio reserved tonight. Let’s go there.” Adam pushes me out into the hallway.

I stumble over my feet and glare at him.

He closes the door behind us. “You know, James isn’t playing that game. So if you did actually want to go out with him, it’s not like he’d try to use you for points.”

“How do you know?” It’s hard to give anyone the benefit of the doubt when it comes to The Hit List. James genuinely seems like a nice guy and if Adam thinks he’s not involved, I feel a little safer. But not safe enough for a date.

Adam shrugs. “I’ve known him for a while now. He’s not the type.”

I follow Adam through the now familiar halls. They’re dark and empty, with only every third light illuminated. I’m glad Adam is with me and I don’t have to walk through here by myself. It’s creepy.

Two girls from the music department walk toward us down the hallway. One is in a class with me. She’s hard to miss with her bright pink hair. They talk quietly to each other, but as they get closer, I can make out their words.

The brunette I don’t recognize plays with a strand of her hair as she walks. “I just don’t understand why he hasn’t called. It was amazing. I would think he’d want to do it again.”

I can only imagine why she’s upset. Probably another victim.

“I saw him flirting with Betsy today in Intro to Theater. Maybe it wasn’t as amazing as you think.” The pink-haired girl shrugs. She doesn’t look concerned about either her friend’s or Betsy’s wellbeing.

I glance at Adam, but he doesn’t give anything away. I’m not even sure he’s paying any attention to them. The girls continue to walk down the hallway and their voices get too quiet for me to hear any more.

Luke’s roommate, Nathan, approaches us from the opposite direction. He would be attractive if I’d never spoken to him. His green eyes were the thing that drew me in, but then he opened his mouth.

His black hair is a mess. He’s either just come from rehearsal or from some girl’s room. He gives me the head nod when he’s a couple feet away. His sleazy smile gives me the creeps. “Hey, sexy. Want to come over later?”

Eww. Not in a million years.

I grimace. “No, thanks. I’ll pass.”

“Suit yourself. It’s only a matter of time before you give in to this.” He lifts his shirt and gestures to his abs.

No. That’s just sick. I don’t want anything to do with him ever.

Adam curls his lip. “Didn’t you get chlamydia last year from sleeping with some random girl?”

Nathan smiles and winks at me. “I think that random girl was her roommate, but don’t worry. I have a clean bill of health now.”

He’s about as far from attractive as he can possibly get. “Something to be proud of.”

That’s probably all he has to be proud of.

“You know where I live.” Nathan rounds a corner down the hall.

Adam stares at the hallway where he disappeared. “It’s unnatural how much you and Brielle get hit on.”

“It’s because of that game. These guys are running around trying to sleep with every girl on campus.”

I don’t even understand how they would get someone to sleep with them after everyone in school found out about the game. No one is that desperate. And if they are, they need higher standards.

He stops walking and looks at me. “You know, not every guy at this school is playing that game. Some of them might actually be interested in dating you. Like James.”

“Could have fooled me.”

Brandon is in the studio when we arrive. He looks like he’s almost finished. A towel drapes around his neck and a tank top sticks to his chest, the visible skin flushed from his workout.

Adam puts a hand on the door to push it open.

“Shouldn’t we wait until he’s done?”

“I have time reserved. We’re fine.”

Brandon raises his hand in a wave as we enter the studio. “Hey, guys. I was just leaving.”

“Hey,” Adam says.

I give Brandon a small wave. The last time I saw him, I was passing out. Not exactly the best first impression for one of the people who gets to vote for me for Fall Showcase.

“Are you feeling better?” He wipes his face and throws the towel over his shoulder. His brown hair is slicked back against his head, but a few spikes stick up here and there.

Adam frowns at me, confused, and it takes me a second to remember that he doesn’t know I almost passed out today.

“Yeah, thanks. It’s just been a rough week.”

Brandon slides his iPod into the pocket in his pants. “Well, get used to that. You’re going to have a lot of those around here.”

Adam laughs. “I wish I could say he was lying.” He puts an arm around my shoulder and pulls me into his side.

It’s awkward, but I’d rather be closer to Adam than Brandon. I don’t pull away.

“I wouldn’t worry so much if I were you. From what I’ve seen, you stand a good chance of making it into Fall Showcase and of being in the running for London.” Brandon picks up his stuff and walks toward the door.

I turn to watch him. I like it better when there’s distance between us. He gives me a weird vibe. “Isn’t it a little unfair that the seniors get to judge who makes it into Fall Showcase? Why wouldn’t you all just vote for yourselves?”

Brandon takes a drink of his water. “Seniors get a free pass to Fall Showcase.”

“Of course.” I guess it makes sense that they should automatically be in one of the last shows they’ll get in front of the talent agencies.

“I look forward to seeing you in rehearsal, Sadie.” Brandon pushes through the door and disappears into the hallway.

Adam whistles as the door closes behind Brandon.

“What?”

Adam is hard to read. His face is guarded and I can’t tell what he’s thinking. “Just be careful. If you’re worried about anyone playing that game, it should be Brandon. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’s the brains behind the whole thing.”

“What are you talking about?” Something about Brandon rubs me the wrong way, but despite that, he’s been one of the nicest people in L. A. so far.

“I’m not saying not to trust Brandon because I’m sure he can be really nice, but he and Luke don’t exactly get along. I don’t think he would toy with you just to get to Luke, but you never know.” He grabs my hand and pulls me into the middle of the studio.

“That’s crazy.”

What difference would it make anyway? Luke doesn’t like me so why would it affect him in the least if Brandon pays me any attention.

Adam laughs. “I never said it wasn’t. Just watch your back. There’s been a target on it since you got here.”

“So I’ve noticed.”

It feels like people have been against me from day one. I wish I could convince myself that I’m blowing everything out of proportion. But Adam’s right.

“I worry about you and Brielle since you’re both on the top ten list. I shouldn’t have to worry this much about people.”

I laugh. He must not see half the shit that Brielle does. “I don’t think you have to worry about Brielle. She seems like she can hold her own. And she’s playing her own game by leading them on.”

His brow pulls together in confusion. “She wasn’t always like that. She was really shy last year when she started here. I don’t know what happened, but it was like a switch got flipped. The city got to her, I guess. She started caring more about sleeping around and partying than going to class. That’s what got her in trouble with Miss Catherine. I just don’t want to see her have a breakdown because of this game.”

I don’t want to see that either. I can’t handle it if we both go off the deep end. “She’ll be okay.”

“What about you? Are you okay with everything? Is it weird that everyone knows you already?”

I shrug. I’d rather no one knew me because I probably wouldn’t have ended up in the game, but there’s nothing I can do about that now. “People can be weird about it, but I’m fine.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation, I liked the article about you in
Jeté Magazine
.”

“It’s not, but thanks.” It’s a constant reminder of my failure. And now it’s a constant reminder that everywhere I go in the dance world, everyone will already know about me, making my fresh start impossible.

“What did you want to talk about?” He sits down on the floor, stretching out his legs.

He looks sincere and it makes me want to tell him about everything, but I don’t think I’m ready to do that yet.

I take a deep breath. “I need help partnering.”

He runs a hand through his hair and gives me a crooked smile. “You’ve done it before. It’s kind of like riding a bike. Once you start getting into it again, it’ll all come back to you.”

If only it were that easy. I would give anything for that to be my problem. “That’s not the issue. I know I can partner. It’s not like I lost it in the last year.”

“You’re confusing me. You can’t partner, but you can?” He looks like he’s trying to do calculus in his head.

I sigh. I need to tell him enough so he’ll understand, even though I don’t want to tell him anything at all. He deserves some kind of explanation if he’s willing to take the time to work with me. It’s rude to expect him to help me with no reason why.

“I haven’t partnered with anyone since my injury. The whole reason I got injured in the first place was because a lift went wrong.”

“You’re scared.”

I can’t meet his eyes. I don’t want to see the pity. I never wanted people to feel sorry for me.

I don’t want to talk about this, to tell him that I’m scared I’ll get hurt again, to tell him Patrick shattered any future trust I would ever have with another partner.

“What if I get hurt again and I can’t dance anymore?” It’s a very real possibility.

He laughs. It booms off the walls and lightens my mood a little. “No pressure.”

I shove his arm playfully. “I don’t think you’ll drop me.”

“I’ll help you in any way I can, but at some point you’re going to have to dance with Luke.” He looks up at me from his position on the floor. There’s sadness in his eyes.

I’m well aware of that, but the thought of a repeat of today’s rehearsal is sickening. “I just want to be able to get used to lifts again without him.”

Walking to the stereo, he turns the music up. “Let’s take it slow. Dance with me. No choreography, just us.” He stands up straight when he comes back to me. It makes him look more confident.

He wraps his arm around my waist and grabs my right hand with his left. We dance around the studio, using every inch of space. He’s good at improvising and he pulls me into small familiar lifts from time to time. It reminds me of dancing with Patrick before everything fell apart and he left. Familiar and safe. The way it should be with Luke.