The Hitwoman and the Chubby Cherub (8 page)

“I’ve got to take Katie to school.”

“And then?”

I filled him in on my father’s visit, my newfound parent ally, Cam, and the handcuffs. “Plus,” I concluded, “I want to visit Fern Cardinale’s restaurant and check out one of Belgard’s regular stops.” Just voicing the plans for the day exhausted me.

“You should bring me with you,” the lizard declared.

“Why?”

“An extra set of eyes might prove helpful.”

I couldn’t disagree with that. “Okay.”

I showered and dressed quickly and then opened the storm door to let the cat and dog back inside so that I could feed them.

DeeDee galloped down the stairs. “Hungry. Hungry.”

“When are you ever not hungry?” I laughed.

“I’m hungry too,” God whined pitifully.

Piss followed the dog inside at a more sedate pace.

“What about you, miss?” I asked. “Are you hungry?”

When she didn’t answer, I realized it was because she was carrying something in her mouth.

“What have you got?” I asked suspiciously.

Ignoring me, she jumped up on the shelf that held the lizard’s terrarium.

“Hey,” I protested. “Get off of there before you knock something over.”

She flattened her good ear in protest.

“Food!” God bellowed.

“I heard you the first time you said you were hungry,” I snapped.

“Glorious food!” he shouted, staring at what Piss held in her mouth.

I bent over and looked at it more carefully. Sure enough, she had a still squirming cricket.

“Fresh food!” The anole scampered from one end of his enclosure to the other. “Locally harvested and a sustainable crop.”

I pushed the lid aside so that Piss could drop the insect inside.

The cricket fell with a pitiful cry.

I slammed the lid back on before he could escape.

“I don’t know how sustainable the crop is.” The cat licked her paw, looking on with approval as the lizard caught the insect and began eating his meal.

“Hungry,” DeeDee whined.

“Yeah, yeah.” I hurried to fill her bowl with kibble. “What about you?” I asked Piss. “Did you have a locally harvested meal too?”

“Not with this one galumphing around like a herd of cattle, bless her heart.”

I put out food for the cat too.

“I’m going to run Katie to school, then I’ll come back for my walk with DeeDee and then we’ll go on our adventure.” I looked at the lizard to see if he was listening.

A cricket leg protruded from his mouth. He raised his front foot, which I took as the reptilian way to give a high five.

I made breakfast for Katie, or rather I cut up an apple and squeezed some yogurt into a bowl for her.  She ate the apple happily, but made a face at the yogurt, preferring to eat it out of the squeezable package.

“It tastes the same,” I told her what felt like the millionth time. Both Angel and her occupational therapist Rhonda wanted her to eat as many meals as possible with utensils, to improve her coordination and strength.

While she grudgingly ate the yogurt, I poured myself a cup of coffee. “I’m going to help with your Valentine’s Day party at school.”

That brought a smile to her face. “You are?”

I nodded.

“Cool.”

“As a cucumber,” I teased.

She giggled.

“More eating, less laughing, young lady,” Angel said with mock sternness as he joined us.

“Coffee?” I offered.

“Please.”

I poured him a cup.

“Aunt Maggie’s helpin’ with the party,” Katie told him excitedly.

“What party?” He took the cup from me with a nod of thanks.

“Valentine’s Day,” Katie and I answered simultaneously, which resulted in her giggling more.

“Is that what the glitter was about?” Angel sipped his drink.

“Sort of,” I admitted. “It was the invitation to volunteer.”

“They send out invitations to volunteer?”

I sighed. “This woman does.”

Angel raised his eyebrows signaling he’d heard my dislike of Megan.

“Aunt Susan hates glitter,” Katie announced seriously.

“She’s not the only one,” I muttered.

Angel shot me a warning look. “What about you, princess? Do you like glitter?”

She nodded enthusiastically. “It makes everything pretty.”

Angel glanced at me. “It certainly does,” he murmured quietly.

Embarrassed, I looked away. “Finish up, baby girl. This train’s leaving soon.”

“Choo choo!” She pumped her arm like she was operating a train whistle before dutifully gobbling up the rest of her meal.

She then chattered happily about her school activities as we finished getting ready to leave and drove over to the school.

As usual classes had already begun as I walked her through the hallways.

“I love you, Aunt Maggie,” she declared when we reached her classroom.

Bending down to give her a hug, I whispered, “I love you more.”

“I love you most,” she countered.

I shook my head. “Not possible.” Kissing her cheek, I handed over her backpack and pushed her gently toward the door.

She tottered in with a last wave to me.

“Amazing the way you’ve bonded,” someone said.

Twisting around, I found khaki-encrusted Megan watching me. I slowly got to my feet.

“She almost treats you like you’re her mother. Amazing.” While on the surface the words seemed kind, her mocking tone made the message clear. I wasn’t Maggie’s mother and never would be.

Maybe if I wasn’t always plagued with doubts about whether I was even capable of mothering Katie, her barb wouldn’t have bothered me so much. But considering my insecurity, her insult pierced my heart as effectively as one of the Cupid Killer’s arrows.

I couldn’t even protest because the pain was making it hard to breathe.

“I’ve decided that you’ll be in charge of the food for the party,” Megan continued. “I’ll do the decorations. You can handle that, can’t you?”

I nodded, despite knowing I couldn’t.

“Good. Remember, it’s got to be gluten, nut, dairy and sugar-free.”

“So I should serve sawdust?” I knew she was assigning me the job of providing the food because it would be impossible.

Megan grimaced. “I’m sure you’ll think of
something
…” With that she waggled her fingers at me. “Must run. A busy mother’s work is never done.”

She and her khaki-clad butt sauntered off.

I just stood there, fighting the urge to chase after her and bash her motherly head in.

“Katie is your niece?” a woman asked softly.

I turned to find a woman who looked to be of Middle Eastern descent, but who spoke with an English accent peering out at me from around the corner.

“My daughter is Sindhu,” she continued.

I relaxed a little. “Katie’s new friend?”

The woman nodded stepping around the corner. “I’m Anwen.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“She’s wrong you know.”

“Who?”

“Megan. That list she gave you of all the things the kids can’t eat, it’s wrong.”

I perked up a bit at that. “Really?”

Anwen nodded. “It’s true about the gluten and nuts, but there are no dairy or sugar limitations in their class.”

I eyed her suspiciously, wondering if Megan had sent her to mislead me. “Why should I believe you?”

“The teacher has the list of allowable foods. Check with her,” Anwen replied graciously. “Megan is just trying to make you look bad.”

“I’ve heard that about her,” I admitted.

Anwen shrugged. “She’s a challenge. Anyway, I thought you should know.”

“Thank you.”

“It must be difficult for you,” she murmured sympathetically. “If you ever have questions, feel free to call me.” She handed me a business card.

I took it and stuck it in my pocket without looking at it. “Thank you.”

“Katie’s a wonderful girl. You’re doing a great job with her. I look forward to seeing you again, Maggie.” She waved good-bye and headed off.

I waved wanly as she left, already exhausted when the day had barely begun.

Chapter Nine

As promised I returned home to walk DeeDee. As usual she was raring to go, panting “walk for go, walk for go” and completely unaware of my exhaustion.

God was prone on the floor of his terrarium having succumbed to a food coma.

Only Piss noticed my state. “What’s wrong, sugar?”

“Being a parent is like being a student again,” I complained sinking down onto the couch.

DeeDee whined her disappointment, but was silenced by the cat hissing something unintelligible at her. The dog bellied up to the floor, resting her head between her paws and watched me forlornly.

Piss jumped onto the couch, curled up on my lap and purred, “Tell me all about it.”

“There’s this competition to be the best, and you have to choose sides, and there are all these people with secret agendas…” I hung my head, overwhelmed by it all.

“You’ve handled a lot worse than a bunch of overachieving mom-bots,” the cat declared.

“Mom-bots?”

“I can’t help it. The lizard watches so much TV. It was bound to seep into my brain sometime. But I’m not the point. We’re talking about your problems.”

“I do seem to have a lot of them.”

“And yet you’ll come out smelling like a rose,” she predicted.

“I doubt that.”

For a few minutes we sat silently with me petting her and the little-kitty-that-could chugging away contentedly.

Finally, when the waiting got to be too much for her, DeeDee whined softly. “Walk for go?”

I nodded. I couldn’t sit there feeling sorry for myself all day. I had things to do. Places to investigate.

Piss climbed off my lap, giving the dog a dirty look with her good eye.

I grabbed the mutt’s leash and we headed out.

“Belgard’s place,” I said when we reached the street.