The Homecoming: Countdown to Armageddon: Book 5 (13 page)

-23-

     It was a sound, so low it was almost imperceptible, that caught Scott’s attention and called him back to Sara’s side. Little more than a sigh, yet enough to alert him that something was wrong; that Sara was somehow in distress.

     And his instinct was right on the mark. Even before he got to her, she’d raised her face toward him, tears suddenly welling in her eyes.

     He wrapped his arms around her.

     “Honey, what is it?”

     For several moments she trembled in his arms, unable to find the words. Then she merely sobbed.

     He didn’t press her.

     “How about you just sit here and I’ll pull stuff out of your closet. You just shake your head yes or no. The stuff you shake your head ‘yes’ to I’ll pile on the bed and we’ll take it back with us. Fair enough?”

     She managed a feeble nod.

     It didn’t take long. There wasn’t much left. Glen, enraged that Sara had found the nerve to leave them, had thrown most of her belongings away a year before. The few items he left behind, the only things still standing testament to the fact she’d once lived there, were mostly things she didn’t want anyway.

     Only when she was in the patrol car and driving south on Moon Valley Drive did she finally divulge the secrets of the letter she still clutched firmly in her hand.

     “Mom is still alive,” she stated matter-of-factly.

     Scott was startled.

     His jaw dropped and he turned to face her.

     “What?”

     She caught her breath, uncrumpled the letter and read it aloud.

     Scott had the sense that she wanted, or needed, his full attention. He pulled into the parking lot of an abandoned HEB supermarket and turned off the car’s ignition.

     Tears streamed down young Sara’s face as she read each word.

My Dearest Sara,

     Today I’ve finally had enough. I’ve finally decided to do two things I should have done a long time ago. One might make you proud. The other might make you hate me. And the odd thing is, I have no right to do either of them. One is a sin in the eyes of God, and of society. The other has the potential to cause you even more pain than you’ve already suffered at my hands. And I’m sorry for that: for both the pain I’ve already given you, and the pain my actions today will almost certainly cause you in the future.

     Because despite what you may have come to believe in recent years, I do love you. You are my heart, and always have been. I know I don’t have the right to say that, and you probably don’t believe it. But it happens to be true.

     This morning I killed Glen. I shot him as he sat in a field, a half mile from the house. He sat looking at me and begging me for mercy. But I had none for him. I shot him like a dog, and I felt no remorse. In fact, God help me, I laughed over his body.

     The other thing I’ve decided to do, and I know I have no right to do it, is to resolve to find you. I know that when you left you thought you were finished with me. And you had that right. But I need to see you. I need to beg for your forgiveness. I was too weak to protect you. Too afraid of being homeless and destitute once again. Too afraid of what would happen to me if I tried to keep him away from you.

     In other words, for years I put my own self-interests above yours. I was the most despicable kind of mother a mother could be.

     I have no right to beg for your forgiveness. I know that. But I’m going to anyway. I don’t know why that’s important to me. It just is.

     So I plan to find you, or die trying. And when I find you I plan to tell you that I really did love you. I still love you.

     And I’m dreadfully sorry for all the terrible things I let happen to you.

     If you ever come back and find this, know that I am out there looking for you. And I’ll look until my dying breath, or until I find you.

     I’ve given permission to Justin and Sami Tomkins to stay here until I return. Their own house burned down and they had no place to stay. I told them which areas of the city I plan to search first. If you have any desire to meet with me, they can put you on the right track.

     I know you left with Jordan. One of the neighbors saw the two of you leaving, and she described Jordan perfectly. I only wish I was more involved in your personal life so that I knew Jordan’s last name or where he lived. But I was stupid and a negligent and abusive mother.

     And so I start my search blind.

     As God is my witness, I will find you. Or I will die trying.

     I love you, sweet Sara. I know you probably don’t believe that. But it’s the honest to God truth.

     Mom

     For several seconds, neither said a word. Then Scott, the master of the obvious, stated, “Well, now. That changes things a little.”

     Sara said, “I need some fresh air. Do you think Rhett and Scarlett would be upset if we took a short walk while I try to wrap my head around this?”

     “If they are, they can start without us. They wouldn’t want us to get there with your head unwrapped. It sounds quite messy.”

     She didn’t smile.

     For forty minutes the pair strolled, hand in hand, in circles around the desolate ruins of the once-bustling supermarket. Neither said more than a handful of words, yet both of their minds were racing.

     Scott, for his part, was ever the protector. He winced at the thought of the emotional carnage this new development must be wreaking on his already-fragile daughter in law.

     She, infinitely stronger than Scott would ever know, was already pondering her options. And wondering at the same time if she was destined to try to find and save the mother who once failed in her own responsibilities to protect Sara. Would Sara be able to find it within herself to be the better person? To be the stronger soul? And should she?

     As they completed their third circuit around the HEB, a large brown rat burst free from the bowels of the building and bolted through the parking lot just yards in front of them. The sudden movement startled Scott, but Sara was so numb she barely noticed.

     They stopped to watch, though, as the wild tabby cat in hot pursuit of the rat closed the gap between them and finally pounced on his prey, making quick work of him.

     Neither said the words, but both were glad to see that some housecats managed to survive the blackout and all the turmoil that followed. And both hoped that there were enough around to enable them to repopulate and perhaps allow themselves to be domesticated once again.

     They might have continued their walk for hours, were it not for an audible rumbling in the pit of Scott’s stomach.

     Sara looked at him and asked the most obvious of questions.

     “Hungry?”

     Scott sheepishly replied, “Yeah, kinda.”

     “Me too. Let’s go eat.”

     Back in the car, the pair shared small talk on their way to Baker Street.

     The topic of Sara’s mom, though, went undiscussed, as though by mutual, unspoken agreement.

-24-

       At the end of Baker Street, a street party of sorts was in full swing as Scott pulled the police cruiser to a stop. Although Rhett, Tony and David had tried several times to make a decent micro-brewery beer, they’d failed miserably. They finally decided that the hops they’d boosted from the local Budweiser plant had just gotten too old since the plant ceased operations two years before.

    However, the liquor and wine they’d hidden away just after the blackout still held up remarkably well, and served to make an occasional special event all the more so.

     Everyone had, though, gotten quite tired of Tony’s play on words every time someone asked him where on earth they’d gotten the stuff.

     Everyone, that is, except Tony. He still considered himself quite a comedian each time he got to answer the same tired question with a gleam in his eye and the words, “Oh, we managed to spirit some of it away before the looters got it all.”

     He’d always finish with a wink and an uproarious laugh, for those who might not catch his incredibly clever pun.

     “Get it? We managed to
spirit
it away? As in
spirits
?”

     While Tony went on and on chuckling at his mastery of all things humorous, his poor victims typically responded with a groan or a shake of the head.

     Most of them knew by this time to avoid him altogether at such events. Especially when he began to get a bit tipsy.

     Tony responded by seeking out those new to the group, as well as guests and special invitees.

     He therefore wasted no time in greeting Scott and Sara as soon as they stepped out of the car.

     “Good afternoon, lovely Sara. It is quite a pleasure to meet you. I’ve heard nothing but good things about you.”

     Scarlett knew what was coming and quickly intervened.

     “Sara! Oh, my God! It’s so good to see you again! I’ve missed you so much!”

     Scarlett grabbed young Sara by the arm and whisked her away, leaving poor Tony in a cloud of dust and with a “what the heck just happened?” look on his face.

     Scott just stood back and chuckled.

     Sara was understandably confused.

     “Uh, I’m sorry. Do we know each other?”

     Scarlett waited until they were out of Tony’s earshot before responding, “We do now. I’m Scarlett Butler. You don’t know it now, but I’ve just saved you from an incredibly awkward moment.”

     Sara was even more confused.

     “Uh, okay.”

     “Oh, Tony means no harm. And actually, my heart aches for him. Ever since he lost his wife and children to marauders he’s been a lost soul. We all give him plenty of attention and love, but he continues to feel starved for more. When he’s sober he’s the most wonderful guy in the world. But when he’s had a few drinks he becomes an incredible pain.”

     “How so?”

     “He’d have bored you to death with a series of terribly bad jokes, and within half an hour would have made a very bold attempt to gain access to your pants.”

     “Ouch. Well, in that case, thanks for the rescue.”

     “Don’t get me wrong. I’ll introduce you to him another time when he’s sober, and you’ll find he’s really an incredibly sensitive and wonderful man. He’s just hurting, as we all are, and he eases his pain in a rather… bizarre manner.”

     “I understand, and I won’t hold it against him.”

     “Now, then. Let’s make the rounds. Everyone here has been so looking forward to meeting you. Did you accomplish your mission?”

     Sara was a bit taken aback.

     “You know why I came here?”

     “Oh, I’m sorry. I should have told you up front. I’m the neighborhood busybody. I’m just not happy unless I know everything. And don’t blame Scott. I sort of pried it out of him. No one else knows. They just think you wanted to see what San Antonio looked like two years after the blackout.”

     “Well, I have to say, it’s changed so much. I mean, so many of the buildings are gone. I’m amazed that not just the residential areas are so barren, but also the business districts as well. We drove down Loop 410 on the way here, and my jaw dropped to see both sides, that used to be wall to wall strip malls and businesses, reduced to just vacant lots and piles of rubble.”

     “Well, the city leaders struggled with that decision for quite a while. The vacant homes and buildings had become havens for marauders and gangs of nomads, as well as vagrants and rodents. As they were able to get more and more pieces of heavy machinery working again, it just made sense to raze them. Now, the rule is, if a building doesn’t actually have someone living or working there, or a claimant who has agreed to open a business or move in within sixty days, down it comes. It sounds harsh, but it’s worked. The thugs and undesireables have fewer places to take refuge, and are either having to join polite society or move on.”

     Sara stood in the center of Baker Street and slowly turned full circle, taking it all in.

     “I’m also amazed at how so many residential streets have transformed themselves into… farms, almost.”

     “Well, it only made sense, really. As the houses came down, the yards became places to grow crops. We could no longer rely on supermarkets to buy our foods. The yards gave us the chance to grow our own. It’s healthier than processed food was, and it forces us off the couch and outdoors. The work involved makes us physically stronger, and working together with our neighbors makes us stronger as a community. I never thought I’d call myself a farmer, but now I proudly do so.”

     As she finished the last part of her statement, Scarlett suddenly stopped dead in her tracks and had to catch her breath. At the same time she placed both hands on her midsection.

     “Oh, my,” Sara said in alarm. “Are you okay?”

     Scarlett laughed.

     “Yes. Listen at me, bragging about getting back into shape and then having to stop to draw a breath. Silly me.”

     The pair continued on, mingling with the crowd and introducing Sara to her new friends, but Sara was careful to keep a wary eye on her hostess.

              -25-

     After having met all the residents of Baker Street, Sara broke free long enough to reconnect with Scott.

     “Hey, Sunshine. Is Scarlett taking good care of you? Are you having fun?”

     “Yes, and she brought me an apple turnover she said they made over a campfire, in a cast iron thing she called a Dutch oven. I took one bite and thought I’d died and gone to heaven.”

     “Yeah, they’ve really refined the art of cooking and baking under primitive conditions. They’ve come a long way since dried beans and out of date canned goods.”

     “Two things, Scott. First, I haven’t met the love of your life and my new step-mother, Becky. She’s the one I was looking forward to meeting the most, other than maybe Scarlett. Is she hiding from me, or am I just missing her?”

     “Oh, I forgot to tell you. She had to split a second shift at the hospital. Her replacement fell on her way in to work and hit her head. They say she’ll be okay, but they made her one of their patients temporarily and put her in a bed for observation. Becky’s working four hours longer to cover for her, and the third shift nurse will be coming in four hours early to relieve her.”

     “Oh, that’s nice of them.”

     “It’s kinda the way they have to run things in a hospital where they only have a third as many nurses as they need.”

     “Wow. How come they’re so short-handed?”

     “It was just the way the numbers played out. Very few trained nurses survived the chaos of the blackout. Then they were on the front lines during the plague, and their numbers dwindled even further. Many of them hadn’t even heard of the pandemic until after they were already infected, because communications were so spotty back then.

     “Now, the few nurses left are so overworked that many of them are running themselves into the ground. Becky has worked seven days a week for fifty-something days now, sometimes pulling double shifts or covering for a co-worker who has a bad back or an illness.”

     “Oh, my goodness. I didn’t realize it was that bad.”

     “Yes. But do me a big favor, sweetheart, and don’t mention anything about the nursing shortage to Becky. She already feels horrible because she’s moving up to the compound with me next Wednesday. She deserves the chance to relax and start a new life and enjoy herself after all she’s gone through for the last two years. None of her coworkers or friends begrudge her for getting a chance to get away from it all. But she’s been beating herself up about it. She feels terrible for leaving, thinking she’s abandoning her friends and fellow nurses at a time when they need every qualified person they can muster.”

     “That’s crazy. She lost her husband and children. She’s sacrificed at least as much as anyone. She should rejoice in knowing she’s paid her dues and deserves to retire.”

     “Thank you for recognizing that. She doesn’t see it that way, though. She’s worked some kind of deal with the state licensing agency to contribute in another way. She’s only taking a short leave of absence for three weeks, and then she’s opening up a nursing school at the old Kerrville Community College.”

     “I thought those buildings were abandoned and boarded up.”

     “They have been since the blackout. But it turns out that before the blackout, they taught some great courses in medicine. They degreed people as surgical, or scrub nurses. Emergency medical technicians, dentists, radiologists. Licensed Vocational Nurses, or LVNs. It turns out that all the materials… the lab equipment, the textbooks, the training materials… it’s all still there, under two years’ worth of dust.”

     “And she’s going to bring everything back to life?”

     “Precisely. Kerrville and Junction and the surrounding towns have atrocious unemployment rates. Most of the businesses simply don’t exist anymore. The state has agreed to start up a program to address both the unemployment problem and the shortage of medical professionals. It’s going to accept applications for the medical training programs at what will be renamed the Kerrville School of Medicine. Those who are accepted will be given a stipend while they attend classes, provided they maintain their grades and the school’s standards. After they graduate, they’ll be placed directly into Kerr County General Hospital, or in one of the six hospitals operating in San Antonio.”

     “It sounds like she’ll be doing her overworked co-workers much more good by training a lot of new people instead of just being a single additional body.”

     “
Thank you!
I’ve been trying to tell her the same thing. And I guess it’s understandable that she feels so bad about leaving her overworked friends behind. But if she’d just focus on the big picture, she’d see that her leaving is the best thing she can do for them.”

     “I’m sure she does see that, Scott. But from her point of view, the hundreds of unnamed nurses and medical technicians she’ll put into the system in the future is still just a pie-in-the-sky concept. The people she’s working with now have names and faces. She knows them, and their stories. She’s shed sweat and tears with them. They all have places in her heart. They’re part of her. She wouldn’t be human if she didn’t feel bad for leaving them when she knows how overworked they are already.”

     “I know, sweetheart. I can see that side also. That’s why I’m careful not to mention it. Right now she’s being torn between how she can help them in the short term, and how she can help them to a much greater extent by leaving them behind. And it’s tearing her apart. That’s why I’d appreciate it if you just wouldn’t mention it to her.”

     “I won’t. It does make me wonder, though…”

     “About what?”

     “Jordan and I have been talking a lot lately about where we go from here, now that the world is starting to get back to normal again. As you said, there aren’t a lot of employment opportunities in or around Kerrville. Maybe this program would be something to think about.”

     “You know, Sara, I was hoping you might consider it. I think you’d be a fine nurse.”

     Sara stopped dead in her tracks and looked at him.

     “Actually, I was thinking of Jordan.”

              -26-

     Scott swallowed hard, not sure whether she was kidding. Her face was resolute, without the hint of a smile. But with Sara, one could never be sure. She had the ultimate poker face, and never gave anything away.

     “What?” she prodded, “You have something against male nurses?”

     “No. It’s just that you’re such a kind soul. You’re the kind of woman who could empathize with your patients. To give them the kind of care most people couldn’t. You’d move heaven and earth to not only make them well, but to show them that you genuinely cared for them.”

     “Don’t sell your son short. He’s the most caring individual I’ve ever known. He saved my life, after all. He was there at the compound, after Joyce died, comforting and consoling everyone, attending to their needs. Even though he was hurting as much as anyone, he wouldn’t let it show. It was important to him that he be everyone’s rock. It was him and him alone that kept everyone from going insane in those troubled weeks.”

     “I’m sorry. I didn’t know that.”

     “You never knew because he’s not a guy who likes to take credit for the good things he does. You were only there a couple of days for the funeral, remember. It was after you came back to San Antonio, when we started breaking down one at a time, that he wrapped his arms around us and propped us up, until we got past the worst of it. One of the things I’ve talked a lot to Linda about, that you haven’t seen yet, is how he became a man in those weeks.

     “You’ll see, when you get back. He’s as strong a man as you are now, and as Tom. Tom can see it too. He’s mentioned it to me. Yet as strong as Jordan is, he’s still a very gentle soul. You’ll see it in the way he carries little Christopher. With capable hands. Strong, yet pliant.

     “He’s there by Christopher’s side at every step, willing to let our son make mistakes, and even fall occasionally, so he can learn and grow and toughen up. But at the same time careful not to let him learn his lessons too quickly, or too painfully.