The Homesteader's Sweetheart (15 page)

“Your pa loves you.”

She squeezed his shoulder and he nodded, but he still seemed too serious. Unfortunately, with Jonas waiting, she didn’t have time to reassure him further.

“Goodnight, everyone.”

* * *

Jonas waited for Penny at the bottom of the porch steps, one of the horses saddled nearby. He could see her saying her goodbyes through the lighted window, but he remained in the shadows.

It was an appropriate metaphor for how he felt tonight, the first night his family had been back together since he and the boys had driven the cattle down to Cheyenne. It seemed as if Penny had bonded with each of them, although Edgar still looked on her somewhat suspiciously, and they surrounded her like a flock of chattering sparrows.

Leaving Jonas an outsider, the way he’d felt for most of his life.

He was glad for his children. He knew the boys and especially Breanna needed a woman’s touch in their lives, but part of him also wanted to be part of their grouping.

And that was the real problem. His few days away from home hadn’t resolved his feelings in the least. When he’d ridden into the yard this afternoon and seen Penny, his heart had leaped in his chest.

He was troubled. He might be falling in love with her. And if he was, that would be a disaster, because she was going to go back home to Calvin and find a well-to-do husband.

The door opened, spilling light onto the porch. Penny murmured a final goodbye over her shoulder and the door closed, leaving them alone.

The moon gilded her hair to gold when she joined him. He turned away, afraid of what he might do—reach out for her?—if he looked too long. Instead, he quickly mounted up and boosted her up behind him.

They rode in silence, until he couldn’t bear it anymore and asked, “Were the children upset?” His voice emerged rougher than he intended it to be.

“They were trying to understand why they don’t get to attend many community events.” Her soft-spoken words warmed his ear; her chin pressed against his shoulder.

“It’s just that…”

She squeezed his sides when his voice trailed off.

He wasn’t sure she would understand, but knew she wasn’t likely to drop it. Nosy woman. “I don’t want them to be ashamed to be part of this family.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s—we can’t afford new clothes every season and I don’t want folks looking down on my children.”

It was more than that. He didn’t want the children to hear the snide remarks some people made. Couldn’t she understand he was trying to protect his family?

“So if you had some new clothes, you’d go to the barn-raising?”

He exhaled hard, hearing something masked in her voice but not able to tell what. “It’s not just that. Not everyone in the community likes us. Some of the folks think the boys are troublemakers, just because of where they’ve come from. Worried they might steal things or get into fights or…I don’t even know.”

“Not everyone feels that way.”

He assumed she meant Walt. “I know. Walt has been a good friend.”

“It’s not just him.” Penny shook her head, her chin brushing against his shoulder. “There are others who admire you and what you’ve done.”

Was she talking about herself? Was it possible she admired him? He was scared to know.

“If you asked, some of them might be willing to speak on the boys’ behalf.”

He opened his mouth to say something, and she must’ve felt his tension because she rushed on, “Not publicly, but if some of the people in town spread the word that the boys can be trusted, maybe some of those bad feelings would dissipate.”

It was a kind thought, especially for someone like him, who’d never had anyone to stand up for him, but—

“It’s nice that you want to make things better for them.”

“And for you,” she put in.

“But what happens when you go back to Calvin and your life there? When they have to face the Bear Creek residents without your support?”

She was silent for a long moment. “Then I would hope that what I’ve given them—whether reading lessons or confidence to speak to others in town or…anything else—” he wondered at the catch in her voice “—would stay with them.”

Again, it was a tender sentiment, but as someone who’d been left behind before, the memories that remained when someone left you weren’t always the nice ones like Penny mentioned.

“I…um…” He’d never heard her so unsure as she sounded now. “I noticed…well, I thought—would you want to join in on Maxwell’s reading lessons?”

He ground his back teeth. How had she guessed he couldn’t read?

“I know you didn’t have an easy childhood. Were you able to go to school at all?”

“For a few months,” he said tightly. The months he’d been in the orphanage, before he’d run back to the streets.

“You could certainly sit in on Maxwell’s lessons. If you wanted,” she added quickly. “Or we could spend a half an hour with a primer during lunchtime if you didn’t want the children to know.”

She finally stopped talking, maybe realizing he hadn’t responded. He didn’t mean for his lack of education to be a sore point, but he wanted her to think well of him.

“Thank you for the offer, but I’m already stretched thin trying to get everything taken care of on our place and the Sumners. And you’re staying late with Maxwell already. I don’t want to make more work for you.” And he didn’t think his heart could take any more time spent closely with her. Not if he wanted to remain unattached.

Chapter Fourteen

“C
areful,” Jonas warned Oscar from his perch on the skeleton frame of the Smiths’ new barn roof. The teen nodded, lips pressed around a handful of nails.

Jonas had reluctantly agreed to the barn-raising for the young couple from church because some of the boys kept asking about it—and because Maxwell did
not
ask. Penny had told him of Maxwell’s subdued reactions, and Jonas hadn’t wanted any of the boys to think he was ashamed of them. Penny and Sam had ridden along, but Walt had elected to stay home for the event.

He hadn’t taken up Penny on her offer to teach him to read. Jonas knew she’d made the offer out of kindness, but he didn’t want her to feel sorry for him. Not in any way.

And he’d been anxious about getting closer to her. His emotions were already out of control. He didn’t want to fall further in love with her, not when things could never work between them.

Now, mid-morning, he was part of the roofing crew, and he couldn’t help but be aware of Penny on the ground as she weaved among the visiting women, Breanna sometimes by her side and sometimes off playing with the other children. Breanna with her new dress…

Nor could he ignore an awareness of his sons, each wearing a bright, clean,
new
shirt. Usually, the boys wore hand-me-downs, with Oscar and Maxwell receiving the new items because they were biggest. The joy they’d expressed last night when Penny had gifted them with the shirts and again this morning as they’d donned the brand-new clothing pinched his heart. He wished he could do more for them.

He hadn’t yet worn the pale blue shirt she’d given him along with a sweet, sincere smile. He’d sat on the edge of his bed for a long time last night, moonlight streaming through his window, fingering the garment Penny had made for
him.

It had been a very long time since anyone had given him a gift, other than the little trinkets he received from the children at Christmas.

And no one had ever given him something so fine. He kept thinking of all the time she must have spent making it.

Almost like a wife or mother, making clothing for the ones she loved. How many nights had she sat up late, working on the garments for his family? Why had she done it? Not out of pity or surely he would have seen it on her face. But he couldn’t figure it out.

Those thoughts had crowded his mind, making sleep impossible until the moon had passed much farther across his window than he’d intended.

He hadn’t dared to wear the shirt this morning. Too afraid to soil it or rip it while he worked with the other men, he’d worn one of his older work shirts. And Penny hadn’t seemed to mind, if her cheerfulness this morning was any indication.

Nor did it seem to bother her now, as he glanced down to find her shading her eyes and looking up at him.

She waved. “You thirsty? I’ll bring some water.”

He found himself nodding even as she scurried away and returned with a water bucket. For a moment he thought she was going to ascend the ladder herself, but Ricky’s head popped up over the edge of the half-finished structure.

“Stay there,” he told his son. “We’ll come to you.”

Oscar was much more light of foot than Jonas on the roof. Jonas kept thinking about how far they were from the ground. Oscar met Ricky at the ladder first, quickly slurping from the community dipper. Jonas arrived as Oscar finished and accepted the dipper from his son. “Thank ya, Ricky.”

“You all right up there? Not afraid of heights or anything?”

Penny’s teasing tone drew his gaze downward. She was holding the ladder for Ricky, looking up at him with her face open and radiating happiness. Something inside him tightened like a fist, and then loosened and took flight.

“Jonas?”

He swallowed hard, fighting against the emotions swamping him. “Yep, we’re all right. You and Breanna okay?”

“Mmm. Making friends. I’m going to try to secure a place under the tree for our lunch blanket.”

He couldn’t help the way his heart jumped when she said
our blanket,
as if they were all one family. He kept his face impassive, afraid she could still see his feelings in his eyes.

“All right.” Was that his voice, that husky, grating sound?

“Be careful.”

Careful. How could he tell his heart to be careful when it seemed determined to reach out for her?

Wanting Penny in his life, in the children’s, was impossible. But it hadn’t seemed so impossible this morning as they’d rode up to the gathering, with her sitting close next to him on the wagon bench.

And it didn’t seem so impossible when she said things like
be careful,
as if concerned about his safety.

He found it hard to concentrate for the rest of the morning, slipping once but catching his balance. Then he whacked the side of his thumb with his hammer and had to hold back a shout.
Concentrate!
he told himself, but still found his attention following the vibrant auburn head from his high vantage point.

He’d never been so relieved to hear the dinner bell before.

Instead of going straight to Penny like a lovestruck boy, he forced himself to follow the other men to the water trough and rinse some of the dust and sweat off his face and hands before joining his family at the blanket that Penny had located in the shade from a large oak on the hill.

Penny handed out tin plates to the jostling boys, who then made their way toward the groaning makeshift tables laden with food.

“Pa, can I eat with Sissy Peterson? Her ma said it was okay and—”

Jonas gave in with a nod and Breanna ran off to join her friend. Leaving Jonas and Penny alone.

Penny fell into step beside him, their shoulders brushing. She handed him his plate and gasped when she caught sight of his purpling finger. “Jonas—”

She grasped his wrist and pulled him to a halt, still far enough away from the crowds that their conversation wouldn’t be overheard. “What did you do? Are you all right?”

“Just banged it a little. It doesn’t hurt.” Much.

Her head bent close to his chest as she examined his thumb, and his heart beat painfully against the inside of his ribs. He hoped she couldn’t hear it.

“Are you sure? It looks painful.” Then her blue eyes rested on his face, questioning, worry emanating from their depths.

He wasn’t sure anyone had ever looked at him that way before. It erased the distance he’d spent the past week and a half trying to put between them. Made him want to be what he couldn’t: someone who had enough to give Penny everything she wanted. Someone she wouldn’t want to leave.

Her concerned gaze also made him want to kiss her. His eyes flicked down to her slightly parted lips and he wanted—

“You two had better get to the food ’fore it’s all gone,” someone called out to them, breaking the connection and bringing Jonas to his senses. Heat filled his face and he ducked his head, hoping his hat would hide his embarrassment from anyone who might be looking—and from Penny—and moved away. How long had he stood there, stunned by her? The crowd around the food tables was much thinner now. Most folks were already back at their blankets or sitting in the grass, eating.

But Penny slid her hand into the crook of his elbow, not allowing him to outdistance her, keeping him by her side.

His heart thundered like a stampeding herd, crashing loud in his ears. Did she really want to be with him? He couldn’t wrap his mind around it.

Penny clung to his elbow right up until she had to start filling her plate. She greeted the women still helping serve and when they responded, their welcome included him. Something else he’d never experienced before, not from most of these women; he’d never spoken to many of them.

A young woman served pie near the end of the tables, and Penny stopped to speak to her in a low voice, leaving Jonas standing awkwardly alone.
This
he was used to. Should he wait for Penny? Retreat to the quilt under the tree?

Then Penny returned to his side, this time with the girl’s arm tucked in hers and wearing a beaming smile. “I’ve been getting to know Emily all morning and she’s agreed to join me for the meal so we can speak some more.”

It took Jonas a moment to recognize the girl as the same one Maxwell had spoken to Penny about, then he realized that Penny must have something in mind. He knew Maxwell was eating on the blanket with the other boys. And now Penny was bringing the object of his son’s affections right to him.

He couldn’t do anything but follow along, an unwitting accomplice.

* * *

Penny hadn’t planned to invite Emily to eat with the family until she’d seen her serving pie. With most of the folks already finished filling their plates, the girl would be free to sit down and eat herself…

And it
was
true that Penny had been conversing with her all morning, whenever they would pass each other. She could see why Maxwell was smitten. Emily had a sweet disposition and a gentle, ready smile.

Now if only Maxwell could overcome his extreme shyness and manage to speak to her himself.

The boys were eating and talking when she, Jonas and Emily approached. So far she still hadn’t been able to force manners on most of them. She didn’t want the girl to be scared off without even speaking to Maxwell.

Penny cleared her throat and the boys looked up. Ricky and Davy with mouths hanging open. Maxwell choked, coughing. Penny pretended not to notice and Seb thumped his older brother on the back. Sam glanced curiously from Emily to Maxwell.

“Boys, I’ve been making friends with Miss Emily and she’s going to sit with me for lunch. I know you can all be polite since there are ladies present.” She
hoped.
“Here, why don’t you scoot over?”

Maxwell finally got his breath, his cheeks pink. When Penny nudged him with her foot, he turned cherry red, but he obediently shifted to one side, allowing room for Emily to settle beside him with Penny on her other side.

With the extra body on their blanket, Penny was forced close to Jonas, her knee pressing into his leg. He, too, looked a little pink, and Penny patted his hand, hoping he didn’t think her actions were too forward. Maxwell
had
asked for her help.

The usually boisterous boys had gone unnaturally silent, some of them staring at the new young lady in their midst. The only sounds were the clinking of their forks and the soft rustle of the breeze in the leaves above them. Emily politely kept her gaze on her food.

“I’m sure some of you know Miss Emily from school. Is that right?” Penny asked, trying to get the conversation started. She tried to catch Maxwell’s eye to encourage him to say “hello”, but he kept his face turned down. Both his hands were clenched on his plate, so hard his knuckles were white.

“Mm-hmm,” someone replied, and Penny found herself grateful that Matty hadn’t spoken with his mouth full.

“And we get supplies at her pa’s store,” Seb supplied helpfully. He seemed to be the only one unaware of the tension surrounding those on the blanket. Hopefully Emily wasn’t aware of it, either.

Maxwell continued to stare down, jaw locked. A soft snicker from one of his brothers made a muscle jump in his cheek.

“That’s right.” Emily brightened, smiling at the faces around her. “I happen to know that Seb likes caramels the best. Ricky, Davy and…is it Oscar? You all like the black licorice.” The girl’s nose scrunched up, making it obvious that it was not a liking she shared. “Matty and Edgar prefer the taffy, and Breanna and Mr. White like to share a bag of Turkish delights.”

Emily paused, and everyone on the blanket seemed to hold their breath, aware that she hadn’t mentioned Maxwell. The teen sat so still Penny couldn’t tell if he was breathing. Emily turned to address him directly, “But Maxwell asks for something different every time. What
is
your favorite candy?”

“I dunno,” he said, almost too quietly to hear. “I like them all, I guess.”

“Oh, but surely you’ve got a favorite,” Emily prodded. “Everyone has something they like better than all the others.”

“Maxwell always gets sumpin to share.” Seb’s helpful remark made Penny reach out and pat the boy’s foot.

Ricky, Matty and Edgar lost interest in the conversation and began their own, thankfully in lowered voices.

Maxwell dared to glance up from his plate, although he quickly looked back down when he saw Emily watching him, waiting for an answer. Penny saw his chest rise and fall before he spoke, again in that soft tone. “Ain’t had much candy before Pa took me in. Guess I wanted to try the different kinds to see what they were like.”

His words pinched Penny’s heart. She knew from what Jonas had told her that Maxwell had had a hard life, but this confirmation stung. She rushed to fill the awkward silence that threatened, not wanting to give Emily a chance to say something that might hurt the boy.

“Miss Emily’s been telling me she has plans to visit her aunt in Texas next summer.”

“That’s right. Marjorie—my sister—” Emily directed this to Penny, “will be old enough to tend the counter next year. At least that’s what Pa says. Ma isn’t so sure, but they’ve agreed to let me spend some time with my aunt in Austin and I’m so excited!”