The Hornbeam Tree (7 page)

‘No. I was just passing so I thought I’d drop in. Seems it was good timing on my part, because you’re obviously in need of a bit of tea and sympathy.’

‘Oh no, don’t encourage me, please,’ Katie protested, tugging out another tissue to blow her nose.

Smiling and shaking her head, Judy went to plug in the kettle. ‘How are you on the physical front?’ she asked. ‘Is the pain under control?’

Katie nodded. ‘Completely,’ she said truthfully.

‘What about the constipation?’

‘I think it’s getting better. The senna’s helping and I’m taking more fibre.’

‘Good.’ She picked up the teapot and started to rinse it out. ‘And Molly? Have you managed to discuss anything with her yet?’

‘Chance would be a fine thing. She’s hardly ever here.’

Judy glanced back over her shoulder.

‘To tell the truth,’ Katie said, ‘I think she knows anyway, or at least senses it, and that’s why she’s avoiding me.’

‘It’s very possible,’ Judy responded. ‘Do you know where she goes?’

‘She’s getting quite tight with Allison Fortescue-Bond, which doesn’t exactly please me. It’s a world we’ve left behind now, and I’m afraid being around people who have all the privileges she’s lost …’ She sighed, and looked down at her hands. ‘Or maybe it’s a good thing,’ she continued after a moment. ‘At least she has a friend now, though it just leads me to wondering which I should be discussing first, boys, birth control and STDs, or my own situation.’

‘You’ve already done the birds and the bees,’ Judy reminded her.

‘Yes, but I need to keep on top of it all. Should I put her on the pill, just in case, or get her some condoms? Or coax her into some kind of celibacy club?’

Coming to the table, Judy said, ‘Are you sure you don’t want me to have a chat with her about you? It might be easier to hear it from someone else.’

Katie shook her head. ‘It should come from me,’ she said, her breath catching on a latent sob, ‘but to be honest, I’m not sure about making her face it yet. We don’t know how long it’s going to be, and maybe it would be kinder to let her feel some
security
with Michelle before she has to deal with losing me.’

Judy wasn’t too sure about that, so passing over it, she said, ‘Where is Michelle? Isn’t she supposed to be here today?’

‘Tomorrow,’ Katie answered. ‘Her flight was delayed.’

‘Oh, I see. So is that why you’re upset?’

Katie sighed again. ‘Yes. No! Oh, I don’t know. I’m feeling so confused about everything at the moment, and the heat doesn’t seem to be helping. Who’d believe it was almost the end of September?’

‘Gorgeous, isn’t it?’ Judy responded, turning to look out of the window, where the sky seemed improbably blue for the time of year, and the trees and hedgerows were still richly green. ‘It’s going to be quite a change for her, being in a sleepy backwater like this after her experiences in Afghanistan, I’m sure.’

‘Pakistan,’ Katie corrected.

‘Of course, sorry.’ Judy turned back. ‘You know, we should ask her to give a talk at the village hall, tell us all about it. Do you think she would?’

‘I expect so,’ Katie responded, glad that sinking feelings weren’t visible, for she was experiencing a particularly horrible one now at the prospect of her sister’s popularity. ‘Actually, the vicar’s already suggested it,’ she said, ‘and Mrs James wants to know if she’ll open the fête next month.’

Judy’s eyebrows rose. ‘Seems she’s already quite in demand,’ she remarked. ‘I suppose it’s inevitable, but we shouldn’t forget the real reason she’s coming, should we? I’m sure she won’t.’

‘You know, she’s not quite the saint you’re all
making
her out to be,’ Katie responded, wanting to quash it now, before it really took hold. ‘To begin with, she’s got a son who she just abandoned when he was five.’

‘Really? You’ve never mentioned that before. What do you mean, abandoned?’

Katie’s eyes moved away, for she knew it wasn’t quite as black as she was painting it, though to serve her own purposes right now she almost wished it was. ‘She left him with his father so she could go on with her calling,’ she said, knowing very well it had broken Michelle’s heart when Robbie had chosen to live in Los Angeles with Michael and his new wife.

‘How old is he now?’ Judy asked.

‘He must be nine, maybe ten. We never see him, because Michael, his father, almost never comes to England now. The point is though, Michelle is totally addicted to her work, which frankly is why I’m so anxious about her coming. If some other crisis pops up in the world between now and when I go, I’m afraid you won’t see her for dust, and then what’s going to happen to Molly?’

‘I’m sure she won’t do that,’ Judy responded.

‘I wish I had your confidence.’

Judy was watching her with a mixture of curiosity and concern. ‘I didn’t realize this was going to be so difficult for you,’ she said gently. ‘I mean, I know you don’t see each other often, but you’ve always kept in touch.’

‘Only on birthdays and at Christmas. As a matter of fact she’s forty today, so I’d planned a bit of a celebration tonight. It won’t happen now, of course, because she’s not going to be here, is she?’

‘You surely can’t blame her for a flight being delayed.’

‘No, of course not, but this is what it’s like with her. Something always comes up or goes wrong, or gets in the way. Nothing’s ever straightforward, and even though it might not be her fault, she always manages to let me down somehow, and I’ve got a horrible feeling it’s not going to be any different now.’

Molly was sitting cross-legged on Allison’s bed wearing only her bra and a thong. Her eyes were closed, her arms were folded across her breasts as candlelight flickered like tiny wavelets over her skin. Allison, Cecily and Donna stood at the foot of the bed, dressed in these wigs and stuff Cecily had brought, holding hands and chanting softly. The sound of their girlish voices mingled with the haunting melody on the CD, the rhythm fading and building, the heady perfume of incense and oils making Molly feel a bit sick.

‘We accept you Molly Kiernan,’ they intoned, over and over. ‘We accept you Molly Kiernan.’

After a while Allison moved forward, her black crinkly wig glinting like silvery wires in the candlelight. ‘I am your sponsor, Molly, so do you promise never to let me down?’

‘I promise,’ Molly responded, eyes still closed.

Cecily said, ‘Molly, do you swear to obey the rules of the Goddess Lilith?’

‘I swear,’ Molly said. It was like, really hot in the room, but for some reason she kept shivering, and feeling afraid of forgetting her lines, even though she didn’t have very many.

‘Do you understand that if you break the rules you will be banished, never to return?’ Cecily asked.

‘I understand.’

‘Do you swear to put our Goddess before all others?’

‘I swear.’

‘She will be your one true mother now.’

‘My one true …’ Molly swallowed, ‘… mother,’ she finished.

Cecily picked up a bottle. ‘Lie down, Molly Kiernan,’ she instructed.

Obediently Molly unfolded her legs and lay back on the bed, arms at her sides. She felt like, dead embarrassed now, being the only one in her underwear, so she kept her eyes closed, and tried to pretend she was having a dream.

Cecily held the bottle over her and poured. The oil was soft and cool as it pooled on to her skin. ‘Lilith has decreed that your heart and womb will be torn from your body if you betray us,’ she warned. ‘Your tongue will be cut from your throat, your eyes plucked from your head.’ She poured more oil on to Molly’s skin and began gently to massage it in, while Molly kept her doubts about Lilith to herself.

‘Do you swear you are a virgin?’ Cecily asked.

‘I swear,’ Molly responded.

‘Do you promise to lose your virginity as laid down by our rules?’

‘I promise.’

‘Open your legs, Molly Kiernan.’

Feeling like, totally freaked out now, Molly parted her legs an inch.

Donna stepped forward, hands clasped together as though in prayer.

‘I, Donna Ringwold, do honour your virginity,’ she said, bowing before Molly. She moved aside and Allison took her place.

‘I, Allison Fortescue-Bond, do honour your virginity,’ she echoed, bowing too.

Cecily continued to massage. ‘Your virginity is honoured by us all,’ she told Molly. ‘There are six steps to be taken before you can lose it. Are you willing to take them?’

‘Yes,’ Molly answered.

‘Then recite now from the Oracle of Lilith.’

Obediently Molly began to chant the words she had learned by heart.

‘“
I dance life for myself
,

I am whole, I am complete
.

I live my sexuality to please myself

and pleasure others
.

I express it as it needs to be expressed
,

from the core of myself
.

I am female, I am sexual, I am power
.”’

‘Now speak the name of the man you have chosen to take your virginity,’ Cecily said.

A quiver of nerves stole Molly’s voice. She tried again. ‘Brad Jenkins,’ she whispered.

‘We call upon the great Goddess Lilith to hear Brad Jenkins,’ Cecily cried. There was a moment’s silence, then she said, ‘Our great Goddess hears and approves Brad Jenkins. Together with Lilith we will help you to achieve your goal. You are one of us now. Your desires are ours, your passions
shall
be fulfilled, your loves achieved. You will dress, think and speak according to our rules. You will follow the Six Steps. Get up Molly Kiernan and seal your solemn vows.’

Molly got up and stood next to the bed.

‘You may dress now, except for your shoes,’ Cecily told her, eyeing Molly’s new trainers. ‘They are the token of our commitment to you, so in gratitude you will say a prayer of thanks to us, before putting them on.’

When she was dressed Molly dropped to her knees, and putting her hands together she recited the prayer Cecily had given her to learn. ‘I thank you Daughters of Lilith for making me a member of your exclusive society. I honour and respect you. I promise to obey the rules, and I will always treasure this token of your commitment.’ As she finished, she picked up the trainers, feeling a tremor of pure pleasure, for they were sooo cool.

The others applauded and Cecily put a hand on Molly’s head. ‘You are now a full member of the Daughters of Lilith,’ she declared, ‘which entitles you to all privileges our secret club offers, starting with …’ Her eyes were shining, her smile wide, as she threw back her head and cried, ‘
Getting drunk!
’

The others cheered and clapped, Deepest Blue went on the CD, and Bacardi Breezers were whisked from the fridge.

‘So, was that cool, or what?’ Allison demanded, linking Molly’s arm and pulling her down on to one of the sofas.

‘Totally amazing,’ Molly responded, actually thinking it was, though still relieved to be dressed.

‘I told you, Cecily’s like, wild,’ Allison went on.
‘She
made it all up herself. I mean, she got some of the stuff online, you know, from Lilith web sites and places, but the whole ceremony thing, you know, with the oil and chants and stuff, that’s totally hers.’

‘We’ve just got to get you up to speed with the steps now,’ Cecily told her, ‘because we’re all on Step Three. So, have you ever kissed a boy?’

Molly kept her eyes down and nodded.

‘So that’s Step One taken care of,’ Allison declared. ‘Step Two’s kissing with tongues. Have you ever done that?’

Since Molly had already confessed she hadn’t, she could only shake her head.

‘No big deal,’ Allison told her. ‘I reckon she can do two and three together, don’t you?’ she said to the others.

‘So what’s Step Three?’ Molly asked.

They all started to giggle. ‘It is like so out there,’ Allison informed her. ‘You are going to just die when we tell you.’

Chapter Three

THE FOLLOWING DAY
Katie was standing in the back car park of Chippenham station, watching the train pull away to continue its journey to Bristol. She checked her watch. Yes, this was definitely the train Michelle had insisted she’d be on, but no more than a handful of people had got off, and none of them was Michelle.

With a bitter, disappointed sigh she unlocked her old Fiesta and slid into the driver’s seat, unable to stop herself remembering the last time this had happened, when Michelle had failed to turn up for their mother’s funeral because, apparently, a bunch of total strangers in Mogadishu had needed her. So Katie could only wonder what insurmountable obstacle had thrown itself in her path this time to prevent her from being on that train.

As she turned out of the station slip road the Westinghouse traffic was already clogging up the one-way system, and there, right behind her, all of a sudden, was white-van man, that peril of the English roads, whom she’d happily force to slam
into
the back of her car if she could be bothered with the insurance hassle that came with it. Anyway, at least she hadn’t gone to too much trouble for dinner, just a roast-in-the-bag chicken from Sainsbury’s and a bottle of mediumly expensive white wine. The spare room was made up, of course, and she’d put some fresh flowers in a vase to brighten it up a bit. She’d even ironed the sheets before putting them on the bed, something she never did for herself and Molly.

Deciding to switch on the news, she hit the button, then almost had second thoughts when she realized it wouldn’t surprise her to discover Michelle was in the headlines, for it was the kind of thing her sister usually managed to pull off without too much effort. Thanks to her earlier fame as an actress, people hadn’t quite forgotten who she was yet, so maybe that was the cause of her delay, she was still up there at Heathrow, filling the press in on how many babies she’d managed to save since the last time she was in overprivileged, don’t-know-where-we’re-well-off England, and how many hungry mouths she’d helped feed while the British were wasting enough every week to feed several African nations for an entire year.

The lead news story turned out to be more on the debacle in Iraq, a situation that fascinated and infuriated Katie, for she loathed the hawkish elements of the US regime that had somehow dragged Britain into this, and she still couldn’t believe the gullibility of half the American people who just weren’t getting that they’d been sold a lemon. Next on the agenda was the story of two British girls who’d disappeared while on holiday in
Croatia
. Apparently they’d gone to a nightclub sometime over the weekend and no-one had seen them since, though some pretty sinister details were starting to emerge now, about a couple of local men they’d become involved with. Katie’s heart went out to their mothers, for the girls were only just nineteen, not that much older than Molly. The very idea of what the families must be going through now made her long for her old column which she’d frequently used to reach out to people in their times of need.