The House on Blackstone Moor (The Blackstone Vampires) (9 page)

I felt positive about everything, yet worried that I would have to wait for the dresses to be made.

“Don’t fret about that, Miss Baines. Mrs. Twigg buys dresses from ladies who have nothing better to do than to fritter away their husband’s money on new clothes. She can alter something for you I am certain!” Mrs. Mott said to my relief.

At last we came to the shop. It was small, so small in fact that I wondered how it could be a shop at all. But once we entered I saw it was quite adequate.

The place was crammed with ladies’ dresses, wraps and shoes, and along the back were an infinite number of drawers, no doubt for the underclothes, I thought.

I liked Mrs. Twigg as soon as I saw her. She had a pleasant face and kind eyes. She asked if she could help us.

“Yes, this lady has acquired a governess position, Mrs. Twigg and she needs some appropriate wearing apparel. Some shoes, too and bonnets if you have them.”

“And a dressing gown and well, underclothes, too!” I added.

Mrs. Twigg looked me over and smiled. “I have those and more besides. Come along now and I shall show you.”

Within an hour I had selected four dresses
;
handsome practical looking dresses, but pretty too in their simplicity.

I was measured and the dresses pinned and told that I would have it all by Friday next. I could hardly believe it.

“Now for the bonnets. I have had two come in just yesterday, they are wonderful for church or daytime functions and this rather dressy one will go with the blue silk dress you admired.”

I had admired a divine royal blue gown but didn’t think I needed it.

“Oh Miss Baines,” Mrs. Mott urged. “Do buy it. It is magnificent with your coloring.”

“Very well!” I gushed. Why not? I was feeling rather grand after all.

With that done, I selected two pairs of shoes, which I was assured were of the finest leather. “And they will with proper care and attention last for years!” Mrs. Twigg declared.

Next, I selected my underclothes—three pairs of drawers, a chemise, a corset, stockings, and two petticoats, one for everyday and one for dress, although where I was going dressed up I had no idea.

“You would wear it under your blue silk dress,” Mrs. Twigg announced grandly.

At last I paid and was thanked for my custom and wished well.

We left the shop then to purchase not scones but pork pies and some rolls for dinner. The pies we decided to eat on the embankment.

After discussing the weather and how we were each convinced it was going to be an early summer, we seemed to run out of conversation.

We sat then in contemplative silence to watch the snowy white swans glide across the dark green water.

“I’ve never seen a more beautiful place. Do you come here often?”

I was shocked for Mrs. Mott looked close to tears. Truthfully I didn’t know what to do. But she began to speak then. “I know how you feel, Miss Baines. It is a blessing to begin afresh. You see, I know something of your history.”

I felt my cheeks color in embarrassment. “You
do?”

“Dr. Bannion told me of your tragedy and how you needed rest. Truly, he did not portray you in a bad light. He wanted me to understand because sometimes I don’t and—”

I stopped her there. “I do know, Mrs. Mott, as much as one woman may know another’s heart. I think I understand.”

She nodded, but I knew she was crying, though she turned her head. “I am a widow and alone in the world. I haven’t any friends or family. My husband died soon after my children—and I as you did—called Marsh home for a while, you see.”

So that was it. She met Dr. Bannion at Marsh and when she was well he hired her as his housekeeper. Anything that developed after that was their business and no one else’s.

*

If she had been pleasant and chatty, everything changed by evening for Dr. Bannion hadn’t come home for dinner.

“He can have it later when he gets here.”

I had eaten some but she hadn’t touched hers, she looked far too distraught.  “I wonder what’s keeping him?” she asked as she wrung her hands.

“Perhaps he is just late in leaving, Mrs. Mott.”

She shook her head and gave me a tremulous smile, but she didn’t reply.

The tension was awful as the hours wore on—finally her mood began to affect my own.

It got so bad that by half nine
,
I stood up to say I had to turn in for I could not stand the long silences any longer.

She nodded toward me and mumbled a good night.

“Yes, good night then, Mrs. Mott
,
” I answered.

I left her sitting in the parlor.

I was nearly asleep when I heard a carriage drive up. It was his. I hurried to the window to see him step down.

The sound of the front door reached me, as well as some conversation I could not make out, even though I am ashamed to say I did try.

The exchange ended with the sound of Mrs. Mott’s voice—high pitched and accusatory.

For a few moments there was no reply.

I did sincerely hope they wouldn’t argue, but they did and for some minutes. Then there was the sound of footsteps past my door. Finally, I heard a door slam and I sighed.

But then I heard soft talking and giggling, too.

“He has apologized
,
” I whispered out loud. “Good, I am glad.”

And I was too, but I was thoughtful.  I was up for quite a while thinking. I was wondering, you see, for I had no other example to measure it against, if most men troubled their women.

Why would Dr. Bannion stay out late if he knew it upset her?

It could have been innocent, just some work he had to see to.

I honestly thought that was the case.

On the other hand, Alice Mott wouldn’t have been so glum without reason to be suspicious, would she? Perhaps he had used up his excuses and was no longer believed.

It must have upset me far more than I realized for I had the most awful nightmares after it.

I woke up to find Dr. Bannion standing in my room, looking at me
. “You screamed, Rose. You were having a nightmare, nothing to worry about. It happens; it is to be expected really in cases such as yours.”

Cases such as mine.
I was a case and would be for an indeterminate time.

“I am sorry for disturbing you.”

Mrs. Mott suddenly appeared, both of them now standing in their dressing gowns. “Would you care for something, tea perhaps?”

She glanced at me and Dr. Bannion, too. She looked pleased when he nodded.

“That’s a good idea, Mrs. Mott, but before you do that just bring me my bag.”

Actually I was pleased
; only
a pinch and then relief. I was tired of suffering.

“Don’t worry, Rose. It takes time. You’ve been through so much.”

“Yes, but…” I began to cry. “I honestly don’t think I will ever be well… you see I was happy with the new clothes and so looking forward to things…”

My eyelids felt so heavy.

“Yes, that’s right. Close your eyes.”

I nearly smiled for I had come to like the feeling the medicine gave me. It was like warm honey flowing through my body. Calming and soothing me, bringing peace to troubled nerves, and comfort to a troubled heart.

He wouldn’t always be close by to help me. Indeed I wondered how I would manage without him. I’d be on my own, in just a few weeks with two charges to care for. That was a lot of responsibility. Perhaps I wasn’t ready, and perhaps I’d never be ready.

Maybe Dr. Bannion was wrong. I wasn’t right yet to leave.

One morose thought began to replace another, but before I could voice any of my worries, I heard Mrs. Mott ask if she should leave the tea, to which Dr. Bannion replied that she should.

I did say thank you, just before I fell asleep.

I heard the door close softly and I smiled, for I was certain she had heard me.

I slept until nearly eleven, and woke with a start.

Ah, yes. That’s something I have forgotten to tell you about. It’s awful waking quickly and gasping for air, not knowing where you are for a moment.

It’s worse at night but it was morning now and the sun was streaming in. At last I remembered where I was.

I cried a little, more relieved than sad.

I am here to get well. And I shall get well, because it is my fate to go forth into the world with a real chance this time.

Perhaps fate was giving me a chance after all.

*

I found Mrs. Mott in the kitchen. Neither she nor I said anything about the incident the night before. I was embarrassed and I think she realized it. In any event, I was relieved.

She served me toast this time, as my appetite had lessened.

“Yes, I like toast too. I think there isn’t anything as lovely as toast with rich jelly on it. I see you like it, too.”

She was such a pleasant person, so kind-hearted. I could imagine what a lovely home she had, with children and a husband, and then death snatched it all away.

We spoke as though I were some friend of hers and not a damaged young woman trying to fit into the world again.

I truly felt a kinship with Alice Mott. We both had tragedies and shared the horror of Marsh, and happily we had both come out of it.

I had already begun to notice the routine of the house. Order is important; it is something people need to hang on to for it helps to have a focus.

My home had known only the basic desire to survive from one day to the next; there was no room for anything else like happiness.

Marsh had a routine too, one that had to be learned quickly—all manner of coping and not standing out.

I supposed that life was full of routine and ways to manage it in order to exist.

As Mrs. Mott seemed terribly busy I asked her if I might help her with any of her errands. She looked pleased but somewhat amazed. But then she smiled and said I could go into the village for her, as she had some yarn to pick up.

“They would bring it by, but I am in a hurry for it, as I am using it to make someone a gift.”

I was certain that someone was Dr. Bannion.

“Well, I shall go for you!”

I did so want to go, but I found myself frightened after saying it.

“It’s alright if you prefer not to, I will go myself.”

“Oh no, Mrs. Mott. It’s just…”

She smiled so kindly, so knowingly. “I understand. It is hard to go forth as others do so easily. Hard for
some…”

We both knew what the rest of that sentence was…
some like us
…

“No, I shall!” I declared sounding as brave as I possibly could. “I shall go and I will be glad about it, too.”

“Well, if you’re certain you feel up to it.”

I shrugged. “I shall only know if I try.”

“It’s all put away for me. It’s just a little parcel and here is the payment.”

She handed me some money. “I know how much it is for they have told me.”

I started to leave, but she called me back. “Miss Baines, as long as you’re there, have a stroll around. Enjoy your time in town.”

I smiled. “Yes,” I said. “I shall do that.”

*

It was harder than I thought. First. there was the door to open. You wouldn’t think twice about turning a door knob, but perhaps if something awful had happened in your life, you might!

Still, I bit my lip and turned it.

With the door open I faced the path and beyond that, the gate
.

Go on Rose, you can do it.

It’s one foot in front of the other, that’s all it is.

And it was! I had managed to walk to the gate.

There I stood, about to leave the safe world of Dr. Bannion’s house for the world of Clegton. So what was the problem? I had been there before.

Yes of course, but I hadn’t been alone. Being alone makes all the difference sometimes.

But I did set out. A bit unsteady on my feet, I did manage to actually cover some ground and before I knew, I was standing outside the sewing shop. I did of course recall the other sewing shop at Marsh.

Ah, but this was different! I smiled to myself as I opened the door. A bell rang and I was inside.

“I am here please to pick up a parcel for Mrs. Alice Mott.”

I was handed her parcel for which I paid and was thanked. That was all there was to it!

I’ve accomplished something
, I thought , and I had.

I found as I walked along, it felt easier to be out and about. Even when I came upon a group of people, I didn’t find myself feeling anxious. I wasn’t frightened.

A young man tipped his hat.
Fancy
, I thought.
I am winning!