The Housemaid's Scandalous Secret (18 page)

His total lack of concern gave him away, for a man who had held a woman in his arms cannot but help retain the memory of that moment. Something remains and the studied blankness of his expression showed how hard he was trying to hide it. It was still there, that bond between them, pulling at them, tormenting them, no matter how Ross Montague tried to hide it.

* * *

‘After a year of mourning, I think the time is right to invite people in again, Ross,’ Giles agreed when Ross approached him about a wedding party for Araminta.

‘Your father must be consulted, of course. Will he allow it—or even consider it?’

‘I think he will. Until we know what has happened to Jamie we cannot mourn him, and the official period of mourning for Edward is over. I can see nothing wrong with putting on a party for Araminta, and I’m delighted she’s going to marry young Bennington, after all. As the eldest son of the Earl of Cawood his credentials are impeccable and she would be a fool to allow him to slip through her fingers a second time. Go for it, Ross. A few new faces about the place will be a pleasant change. Will his parents be travelling up from Cambridgeshire for the event—and his delightful sister, Caroline? She’s quite a beauty as I recall—just had her first Season.’

‘As to that, I wouldn’t know. I imagine they will all come—although because they are close friends of the Lathams, I expect they will stay at Glebe Hall.’

‘I’ll speak to Father about it—although he’s so out of it at times I doubt he’ll object, or even notice for that matter.’

‘Thanks, Giles. I’ll see it won’t be a crowded, animated affair but it will do for Araminta. As long as she marries Antony Bennington she will be perfectly happy about it.’

* * *

Having finally received a reply from her father’s lawyer, Mr Sowerby, in Oxford, Lisette had much to think about and consider. So it was on her afternoon off that she climbed halfway up to the high peaks where she could be alone with her thoughts. As she walked past the stables, although she kept her eyes averted, she was aware of Colonel Montague in conversation with his cousin, Lord Giles. She felt his eyes on her, following her, but she did not look back. His attitude, his cruel, angry words, his threat to have her dismissed, had reminded her of her humble position—that she was a servant and therefore dispensable.

Her initial reaction had been violent hurt and she could not, even now, truly suppress it. After her efforts that had sent her fleeing from India, she’d thought she’d conquered hurt. She’d been wrong on that score.

Climbing upwards through the park, she noticed three bored gamekeepers with dogs. They watched her pass with an admiring interest that she was in no mood for. Walking on she left the woods behind, emerging onto an open hillside. Climbing higher and walking round the sheep that looked at her with curious stares, she eventually found a suitable place to sit in the shade of a stone barn and read her letter once more.

Mr Sowerby had written to offer his condolences over the demise of her parents and went on to inform her that her father, who had been well rewarded for the work he had carried out in India for the university, had left her a substantial legacy of five thousand pounds. Lisette was astounded. She didn’t know anything about any money. Her father had never spoken of such things to her. But to suddenly find that she was a wealthy young woman in her own right and that she need not fear for her future again, was such a wonderful feeling she could not believe it at first.

Fixing her gaze on the horizon, she made her first decision about her future. She would leave Castonbury Park. She could not stay here. To be near Colonel Montague, to continue being his sister’s maid, knowing the disdain with which he regarded her, was an intolerable prospect.

But where else could she go? What could she do? She had done nothing but help her father with his work and for a few short months she had been a maid. For the first time she began to wonder if there were other possibilities for her future. She decided it was time to stop believing she had no choices in her life. It was time to begin deciding her own destiny. Perhaps it was even time to have a bit of fun. She would remain until Araminta married Lord Bennington. Araminta would then leave Castonbury Park—and maybe she could fulfil her dream and return to India.

* * *

Having watched her walk away from the house, Ross had been unable to resist the temptation to follow her. For the first time he saw her with her hair unbound. It was black and shining and moved like waves on a beach as she walked. He had not been alone with her since that day she had come to his room to tell him about Araminta’s assignation with young Bennington. He had treated her badly, said harsh things he did not mean, things he knew must have hurt her, and he wanted nothing more than to make amends. Hopefully the gift he would present her with would go some way to aiding his cause.

Silently he approached. He paused and studied her, seated on the grass with her arms clasped around her drawn-up knees watching a scatter of magpies scuttling about the remains of a dead rabbit in the tussocky grass down the slope. Her gaze shifted to a shallow, slow-moving stream which, when it reached the valley bottom, would wind along the valley floor. The sun was warm on her face, the air sweet, and she breathed deep of it into her lungs, leaning back against the stone wall.

She wore a light floral printed dress with a demure white fichu tucked into her neckline, her slender arms concealed in three-quarter-length sleeves. Staring at her delicate wrists and long fingers made him long to know her touch on his bare skin. For long uncounted moments, Ross simply looked, let his eyes drink their fill of her soft curves, of the shining gloss of her unbound hair, of her intrinsically feminine expression, the simplicity of her pose. He felt the surge of emotions that gripped him. He didn’t know why he’d been so furious with her when she had told him of Araminta’s assignation with young Bennington. After all, it wasn’t her fault, but for some reason he had been incensed.

But he had come to regret his condemnation of her, for Araminta’s disgraceful behaviour was her affair and had nothing to do with her maid.

Lisette could feel his presence all around her. She did not look round since she had known he would come. He was dressed in breeches, an open-necked shirt beneath his jacket and knee-high riding boots. Without a word he moved to lean beside her, crossing his arms over his broad chest, and they stared out over the splendour of the wide, wild open hills and bracken-clad moorland together.

‘How did you know I would be up here?’ she said at last, carefully folding Mr Sowerby’s letter and putting it in the pocket of her dress.

‘Because I followed you. Araminta mentioned it was your afternoon off—remember? And when I saw you walk past the stables and head for the woods, I thought you might like some company. I was about to ride into Hatherton.’

‘Then why didn’t you? Why did you follow me?’ She did not look at him but continued to gaze at the broad expanse of moor that had entered her heart the first time she had seen it, like a child settling in its mother’s lap. ‘What is it that you want from me?’

‘You.’ That was the moment Ross realised how true this was. His attitude to love had always been of the easygoing, take-it-or-leave-it variety, and now he found himself stunned by the force of his desire. Never had he wanted a woman so much, and never had he felt less sure of his ability to get what he wanted.

‘I will be no man’s plaything, Colonel.’

‘If I wanted a toy I would buy one, Lisette. I wanted to talk to you and to apologise for my behaviour when you came to tell me about Araminta—and again when I saw you earlier. I was boorish, I know.’

‘Boorish? You were downright rude. But then, you are my employer and entitled to speak to me how you see fit if you consider I have done wrong,’ she said with more than a hint of sarcasm, ‘even to go so far as to dismiss me should my
duplicity
, my
deceit
and
disloyalty
not meet with your approval.’

‘You are wrong, Lisette,’ he said softly. ‘I should not have spoken to you like I did and I’m sorry if I hurt you. Not one of those words applies to you. It was unforgivable of me. My temper got the better of me.’ He smiled grimly. ‘I should try singing from Aunt Grace’s hymn sheet.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘That I should be firm to the servants without being severe, kind without being familiar, to converse with reserve and distance of manner and be particularly careful to maintain respect for their feelings.’

‘Goodness, I have much to learn about my superiors as well as my own kind.’

‘Why did you come up here and why did you seem unsurprised to see me? Did you expect me to follow you?’

She ignored his question and asked one of her own. ‘Why did you want to talk to me? What have you and I to say to each other?’

‘I told you. I wanted to apologise.’

‘You could have done that at the house without following me all the way up here.’ She pushed her hair back from her face and looked at something in the distance, as though it didn’t really matter what he said.

‘I want to talk about us, Lisette. About you and me.’ His words were spoken quietly and did not take her by surprise.

‘There is no us. There never can be.’ She sighed deeply and turned for the first time to look at him, having to tilt her head to look up into his face. ‘You are a titled gentleman, a man of some importance and wealth, and I’m just a maid employed to look after your sister. If Mrs Landes-Fraser was to see me up here with you she’d have me out of Castonbury Park in a snap.’

‘My aunt is not your employer.’

‘No, and you are not my master. No one owns me,’ she told him, getting up and brushing down her skirts.

‘I do not play the game according to society’s rules, Lisette. I write my own. That is something you will have to come to terms with.’

‘And why should I do that? We can never mean more to each other than what we are now. You are Colonel Lord Ross Montague while I am a mere maid, a domestic—the lowliest of the low. You belong to a place like Castonbury Park and I belong in your sister’s boudoir as her maid. You are soon to return to India. We are too different—worlds apart, in fact.’

‘Why?’ he demanded.

‘Because we are.’

‘Defend your argument.’

She inhaled sharply, feeling as though she was getting nowhere. ‘I’ve told you why,’ she said on a weaker note. ‘I cannot be more explicit—and we are different in our values.’

‘How? How are we different?’ he persisted.

Her eyes snapped and she almost shouted, ‘Because you are who you are and you are too eager to judge. I have just suffered your outrage at first hand...and your indifference—’

‘I am never indifferent to you, Lisette.’

‘Don’t interrupt. I suffered your indifference for some unwitting transgression.’

‘For which I have apologised.’

Emboldened by his attentive, angry stare, she forged on. ‘Perhaps you can be satisfied with a clandestine relationship but I need more than that—and I do not mean riches or rank. I fail to be dazzled by all that.’

‘Because you feel that may only make me want you more,’ he uttered quietly. ‘What is it going to take for you to let me hold you—kiss you?’

‘I don’t have a price, if that is what you mean. I have no interest in money or jewels. I am not for sale.’

Ross smiled and moved closer. ‘Well, well, Lisette. It seems you have a temper. I knew there was more to you than meets the eye.’

‘Why are you so interested in me?’ she cried. ‘There are plenty of other girls you could have—who are far prettier than I.’

‘Your question is simple to answer. It is because I don’t want anyone else. I want
you
.’

‘For what purpose?’ Lisette exclaimed. ‘Oh, but of course—to warm your bed. That’s it, isn’t it?’

‘More than that.’

‘Why?’ She just wanted to hear him say,
Because I love you
—to say those words—but not if it wasn’t true.

‘Because I do,’ he answered, refusing to say it.

‘This is not about what
you
want. Is that all you care about?’

He studied her irate face for a second, then he began to laugh softly. ‘You are so adorable when you’re angry—do you know that?’

‘What?’ She was bemused and growing flustered as he drew closer.

‘I have just one question for you,’ he murmured, staring into her glorious amber eyes, ‘and I want you to answer honestly.’

‘What?’

‘Do you want me?’

She stared at him, and when he reached out and brushed her cheek with the backs of his fingers, she quivered. ‘I—I... Oh, don’t do that. Please don’t...’

Ross realised the effect his caressing fingers were having on her senses, but he responded with a questioning lift to his brows. ‘Why not?’ he asked, running his fingers down her neck. ‘You like me to touch you.’

‘I—’ she began, uncomfortably aware of the knowing look in his eyes.

‘Yes?’ he prompted.

Lisette swallowed hard and turned her head away, telling herself she must be strong. ‘I don’t know—exactly,’ she admitted. All she knew for certain was that, for just a moment, she would have liked to be in his arms.

Suddenly he laughed and took hold of her hand. His mood had changed. ‘Come, Lisette—we will continue this conversation later. But first I have a present for you.’

Totally bemused, Lisette followed him to the other side of the barn where two horses were tethered side by side. One was Bengal, the other a beautiful white mare she had often favoured with an apple. Puzzled, she looked up at Colonel Montague.

‘You did not come alone?’

‘Oh, yes.’

‘But...I don’t understand.’

He grinned roguishly. ‘Knowing of your passion for horses—and that you have not had the opportunity to ride since you left India, which must be torture in itself, I thought you might appreciate a gallop.’

Lisette stared at him, unable to believe the marvel of what he was offering. ‘But...how can I? If I am seen atop a horse out of the Montague stable—have you any idea how I will be made to suffer?’