The Hustle (Irreparable #4) (29 page)

I run every red light. Fuck it, if a cop follows me, even better. The adrenaline coursing through me sets my skin ablaze, but it’s my thundering heart that I can’t control. It knows I fucked up again. The fear and anxiety I felt when I roamed the Torrente mansion looking for Maria hits tenfold. If I can’t get there on time. If I can’t save Peyton, then the man I’ve fought so hard to be will fail as miserably as the man I used to be.

There’s also the lingering concern of how I’ll react to what I see. Javier might end up fatherless because as the rage I’ve been restraining charges toward the surface, I know I’ll kill that sick fucker if he hurts Peyton.

W
hen I first discovered Robert Dellisen in my bedroom, I was terrified, but then I got a glimpse of what he feels for me and I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. Even now as he sits on the floor in the corner pointing a gun at me, I know he’s conflicted with whatever madness lives in his head.

The nerves remain but I don’t feel panicked. He’s clearly not stable. The carefully placed pictures of me he’s plastered all over the walls are proof of that. They showcase the last year of my life. He’s been a constant shadow I never saw. His desperation is the only thing that kind of alarms me, as I don’t know how far he’ll go to avoid getting caught.

He hasn’t said a word in close to an hour. About the same amount of time that’s passed since I tried to text Aidan without him noticing. I failed and he ripped the phone out of my hand but not before I hit send. If he were going to hurt me, he would have done it then.

I study the man closely. Aidan would never point a gun at me and he scares me a hell of a lot worse than this unimposing, horribly insecure man. My eyes focus on the gun as I wonder if he’d really use it if I challenged him. I don’t know him well, but he doesn’t seem capable of shooting someone.

It’s only a matter of time until this situation escalates. Eventually Aidan will show up, or Mark and JT, or the movers whom I expect soon. I’m done waiting though and as I stand up off the floor, I refuse to be a victim.

“Sit down,” he orders waving the gun. His lack of confidence holding the weapon makes me question if he even knows how to fire it. Something else catches my eyes as I stare at the handle.

“No.” He waves the gun again and I laugh. “Go ahead, shoot me.” His face twists to a look of shock. Being raised in a small town with a father who liked to shoot and made you study your weapon is paying off. “Go ahead. It will hurt like hell, but an air soft pistol isn’t going to kill me.”

He doesn’t say a word, but I was a fool to think he wouldn’t hurt me. There’s fury in his eyes as he launches forward, tackling me around the waist. I thrash against him, but give up when it appears fighting him won’t end well for me. He is angrier now, as if I’ve woken up the devil inside of him.

His body fully covers mine, hindering me from moving. “All I wanted was for you to like me.”

“You can’t force me.” There’s a flash of vulnerability in his eyes, a moment where he knows he’s doing something wrong. This is my chance to use his feelings for me. “But you can try,” I say sweetly as though I’m offering surrender. His grip loosens slightly and I use the opportunity to lift my head, closing my eyes like I want him to kiss me. When his head lowers and his lips meet mine, I bite down on his bottom lip until I taste blood and then attempt to shove him off of me.

“You little bitch,” he snarls, pinning my wrists down above my head. Blood trickles from his lip and lands on my cheek. His nostrils flare as he inhales. “You’ll pay for that.”

He laughs with a cruelty that finally brings on fear.

“Fuck you,” I spit, refusing to show him he scares me.

“I’m going to take what I want.”

His mistake comes when he attempts to remove my jeans. He can’t free the button with one hand. Once he lowers his other hand, mine are free. I use them to push him back, following with a thrust of my foot into his belly. He grunts sailing backward, which gives me a few seconds to jump to my feet.

When he dives forward, he barely misses my ankle. Before he’s on his feet, I’m already halfway down the hall, only inches from the front door. His footsteps pound into the floor behind me, but I keep going until I’m outside and run right into Mike.

A
s I turn on to her street, red and blue flashing lights litter the scene in front of Peyton’s place. My chest collapses. A mere half of a mile separates me and whatever fate has planned for me. I didn’t make it in time to save her and if she’s hurt, or worse, the whole vicious cycle that’s been my life starts all over again.

My phone vibrates and I look down to a text from Mike,
she’s fine.

The air rushes out of me, but I don’t feel relief as the remaining worry of how upset she’ll be with me and if she even wants to see me plagues my thoughts. But at least she isn’t hurt physically. She can hate me as long as she’s safe, I can live with that. Who am I kidding? I’m not about to live without her.

I have to park a few houses down and walk to her place as there are dozens of emergency vehicles. After about two steps, I see her staring at me and jog to reach her at the bottom of her driveway. I’m confused because I thoroughly expected to find her crying and upset and angry, but the smile on her face is delightful.

“Took you long enough.”

It always does and this woman always waits for me. I don’t deserve her, but I’m fucking done fighting. “Better late than never,” I respond just as I did the last time we stood in this driveway.

“I guess that depends on why you’re here.” She clearly remembers this conversation as well, but unlike before, I know my answer and I plan to take full advantage of my second chance.

“I’m here because I’m in love with you, Peyton. I’ve always loved you. I’m here because the thought of living without you hurts more than opening up to you. I haven’t said it because I didn’t want you to have any power over me, but the truth is . . . you already do. You’re the first woman who hasn’t needed me and that scares the shit out of me. But then you did need me and I wasn’t here and that freaked me out too. The one thing I’m positive of is you’re the last woman I ever want to take a risk with.”

She shakes her head with a smile that makes me melt on the inside. “I do need you, but not to save me.” Her palm presses flat on my chest above my heart. “I need what’s in here, Aidan. I need you to be with me. All of you, even the parts you try to hide, because they make you worthy.”

I let out a painful sigh. “You’re the only one who sees it.”

“Maybe I’m the only one who wants to.” She grins, looking me over. “I think you had time to put some clothes on.”

And just like that, I’m positive I’m never going to lose this woman. That she’d never intentionally hurt me, and that she really is my angel.

R
oughly two hours later, we’re back at the loft and all is forgotten as I sink into the hot bath Aidan insisted I take. He even drew it for me, which I didn’t try to fight given my muscles are incredibly sore from the encounter with Robert.

As I lie in the cocoon of bubbles, inhaling jasmine and chamomile, I can’t help but wonder what brings a man to snap the way Robert did? What trigger is in place to take a seemingly normal man and break him? For Aidan it was love and loss, but even when he was at his lowest, and lost to his anger, he didn’t hurt anyone. Or did he?

He wanted Maria much in the same way Robert wanted me. When he couldn’t have her, he sought revenge just as Robert did. People were not only hurt, they lost their lives. The tears I don’t want to be there pool in my eyes and I don’t want them to fall but there’s nothing I can do to stop them.

Essentially I’m in love with a man who carries the same sickness in him that Robert does. The water feels like it’s boiling as my emotions choke me and I begin to sob. I should have stayed away. Aidan warned me to stay away even, but I couldn’t. Why?

Why couldn’t I listen?

While I breathe through the anxiety, my thoughts focus on a woman I never met but feel an undeniable connection to. I suddenly see and feel the difference between a man like Aidan and a man like Robert.

The desire Aidan felt was reciprocated by the object of his affections. His needs were about trying to protect a woman who had already given him her heart. He wasn’t seeking to take it from her to fulfill a fantasy.

Their love was real as our love is real and that’s why I refused to listen. Because every time I look into his eyes, I see his heart. With overwhelming clarity, I understand who Aidan is and why he feels like such a failure. Only he’s isn’t because he tried. He tried to do the right thing, not only with Maria but with his family and with me.

He tried to be strong for too long and the choices he made he thinks were wrong, but I think only time will tell for sure. I don’t know what our fate is or who decides it, but I like to believe things happen to us for a reason.

Maybe Maria was always meant to leave life early. I feel like her meeting Aidan was about finding someone who needed a gift so she could leave her precious son with someone who needed a blessing. And Maybe Aidan needed to love and lose because he needed to grow before he could love me. None of us know for sure why such horrible things happen or how a man can snap, but there are reasons.

Accepting those reasons and rolling with what life gives us is how we move on and live happily. Aidan’s regret will always be with him and there may be times I don’t like who that makes him, but I’ll always love him. His regret makes him who is, every fault, his weaknesses, his heart and soul are a part of me. The best parts.