The Idea of You (5 page)

“I didn't do that either,” Evan said.

She smiled at Evan. “No, you didn't. Guess that makes us friends, too.” Except she
was
attracted to Evan, whereas she never had been to Sean.

“So what is all this?” Tori asked again.

When Evan didn't immediately supply the answer, Alaina said, “Evan set up a private wine tasting for me since I didn't want to go out.”

“We know a lot of the winemakers around here,” Tori said. “If you want a private tasting and a tour at a winery, just let us know.”

“Thanks, but I'm good with this.” She set her glass down and picked up the next one. “Cheers.” She tapped Evan's glass with hers, and he glanced at her. Damn, every time he looked straight at her, which wasn't often and typically lasted only for a split second, she felt it all the way to her toes.

“Mind if we join you?” Tori asked.

Again, Alaina waited for Evan to answer. But he didn't. She couldn't remotely tell what he was thinking. Had he planned for this to be a private event with just the two of them? Like a date? She doubted it, given his question earlier about whether last night was supposed to have been a date.

“Please do,” she said. As Tori and Sean went to grab a couple of glasses, Alaina stood on her toes and whispered next to Evan's ear. “Is that okay with you?”

He abruptly turned as his hand came up and swiped at his ear, like a bug had landed on him. “Don't do that,” he said.

“What?” Her heart rate kicked up as she registered the distress in his tone. “What did I do?”

“Hey.” Tori came up beside him and set her glass on the table. She touched his bicep. “You're fine.”

Alaina blinked at them, uncertain what was going on. Had she done something wrong? Her mind scrambled to determine what that could've been and came up with nothing.

Evan set his wineglass down. “Give me a minute.”

Alaina watched him leave and felt bad even though she had no idea what she'd done to upset him. “What happened?”

Tori turned toward her. “Did Sean tell you Evan has Asperger's syndrome?”

Uhhh, had he? Shit, she really wished she'd paid more attention. “Maybe?”

Tori flicked Sean a glance, but he only shrugged. “I don't remember,” he said. Alaina was beginning to think he had and she just hadn't been listening. It was nice of him not to throw her under the bus.

Alaina put her glass on the table. “I think he did, but I blew it.” She sort of knew what Asperger's was but had no clue about the specifics. “Isn't that a form of autism?”

“Some classify it on the spectrum, but that doesn't really matter. You just have to know that Evan is sensitive to sound and touch sometimes. Your whispering in his ear probably sounded like mortar fire.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “I had no idea. I'll go apologize.”

Tori shook her head but tempered it with a soft smile. “No, don't. He went to the gym to swing it out, I think. He just needs a minute to readjust. He knows you didn't do it on purpose. It's important that you don't take his reaction personally. It isn't you.”

“Okay.” She felt strangely . . . annoyed. Not at Tori and definitely not at Evan. At herself. She hated that she'd hurt him in any way when he'd gone above and beyond to create this special, probably once-in-a-lifetime experience.

“Hey, don't worry. He'll come back. It's not a big deal—and he won't be angry with you. Evan doesn't hold grudges, and he doesn't have a malicious bone in his body.”

Holy hell. He was perfect.

And that could seriously mess with her resolve to keep her hands to herself.

W
HEN
E
VAN WENT
back to the wine cellar, he paused in the doorway to watch Alaina with his sister and Sean. They stood together at the second table, wineglasses in hand, and they were laughing. Sean's hand massaged Tori's back, and she leaned into him. He couldn't see much of Alaina's face because of the angle of her body, but he didn't need to. He'd be able to envision her even if he never saw her again—her sparkling hazel eyes, her sculpted light brown brows, and her crazy sexy mouth.

“Evan, you're back,” Tori said. She motioned for him to come in. “We're on to Sokol Blosser—almost done, in fact.”

He joined them but didn't pick up a glass. “I'll skip this one.”

They chatted about this and that as they moved to the next table. Evan drank the wine but didn't pay close attention to the conversation. He'd gotten overstimulated, and Alaina whispering in his ear had sent him over the edge. Ten minutes on the swing had put him to rights, but he still felt . . . off.

Why had he become overstimulated? It wasn't too hot or too loud—the proximity of her whisper notwithstanding. Was it the wine maybe? It had never bothered him before. The only thing that was new or unexpected was Alaina, but he liked being with her. She made him feel great. Better than great.

Maybe that was the problem. Since she'd kissed him last night, he'd thought of little else. He'd only kissed a handful of women and could maybe classify three of them as girlfriends. Or not. He'd never referred to them as such, and the relationships had stayed fairly casual. Until his former neighbor in Longview.

It had started out perfectly. She was a single mom who hadn't wanted anything serious. Just sex on the nights when her son was with his dad—Wednesdays and every other weekend. Since Evan thrived on routine, it had been an ideal situation. But last fall she'd started to get clingy. Demanding, even. The end of his idyllic setup had contributed to his decision to move home.

“Evan?”

He blinked at Alaina, realizing he'd retreated into his head. Sean and Tori were over eating cheese and crackers. “Yeah, sorry. Sometimes I get a little lost in here.” He pointed at his temple.

She gave him a warm smile. “Me, too. Is everything . . . okay? I'm sorry about before. I didn't know that would bother you.”

“It's okay. It doesn't always. I wish I could tell you when it does, but it isn't like that. What works for me one day is a total nightmare the next.”

“Ouch, that sounds difficult. You're so . . . together.”

“There you go again—describing me with words no one has ever used with me before.” How could he not like her? He looked down at her glass. “Did you try that one?”

“Actually, no. And I think I'm done for now. I didn't do a very good job of pacing myself, I'm afraid.”

He glanced around at the quantity of wine he'd laid out. “I think I might've gone overboard. I do that sometimes.”

“What should we do with it?”

“We'll cork it and drink it later—not all tonight.”

She grinned up at him. “I didn't think so.”

“Everyone will be here for Sunday dinner tomorrow. We can put a dent in it then.”

Tori rejoined them. “I heard you mention dinner tomorrow.” She looked at Alaina. “You're coming, right? Six o'clock.”

“Uhhhh . . . ” She glanced at Evan, but he wasn't looking at her, as usual, nor did he say anything. “Sure?”

“You should,” Sean said, coming to the table. “You don't want to miss Kyle's food.”

“No, I don't. Not after everything you've told me. When can I see this restaurant you're filming?”

“Oh, anytime.” Sean looked at Tori. “Since Alaina's my producing partner, she wants to see what we're doing with the show.”

“I can take you up there tomorrow,” Evan offered, thinking it would keep her away from the homestead and his secret. “If that's okay.”

“That would be great,” Alaina said.

Sean sipped his wine. “Let us know what time, and we'll meet you there.”

Evan shrugged. “Sure.”

Alaina put her hand to her mouth to cover a yawn. “That wine's put me to sleep! I think I need a nap.” She turned to Evan. “Thanks for such a great time.” She looked back at Sean and Tori. “Bye.”

“Hey, I'll walk you over real quick,” Sean said. “I wanted to chat with you about something.”

“Okay.” Alaina left the wine cellar with Sean trailing after her.

As soon as they were gone, Tori turned to Evan. She tucked her hair behind her ear. “You sure you're okay? I haven't seen you do that in a while. Not since you've been home, anyway.”

“And you didn't exactly see me much before that.”

“No, it was kind of hard with you living in Longview and me living in San Francisco.” She smiled at him. “I'm so glad we're both here now. But I'm still surprised you made the move. I thought you liked living independently, away from all of us.”

“As much as you did, probably. Why did you come home?”

“Because of The Alex. Because of
Alex
—what he did. And then Sean.” She shook her head and blew out a breath. “My life has turned completely upside down in the past year.”

“Yeah, it has.”

She cocked her head to the side. “Has yours?”

He picked up the used glasses and took them over to the sink area, dumping leftover wine down the drain. “I guess.”

She brought more glasses and set them by the sink, then opened the dishwasher and started loading them into the racks, which had been designed specifically for wineglasses. “Does Alex dying have anything to do with you coming home?”

He went around and picked up more glasses. “I suppose. You're all coming back and working on the monastery. I felt like I should, too.”

“Not all of us,” she said, taking over dumping the wine and then loading the glasses in the dishwasher. “Hayden left, and I doubt Liam will ever come back.”

“You have a point. But Hayden will be back when his internship's done. I'm sure he'll open the next best winery in the valley.”

“You're probably right.” She leaned her hip against the counter. “You've never said whether you've gotten your letter from Alex.”

“No.”

“Have you?” He sensed the intensity in her question. She'd been so upset when she'd had to wait for her letter. Alex hadn't intended her to have it for a whole year, but Evan had demanded Aubrey give it to her last fall, when Tori's life had basically imploded from grief and guilt.

He hadn't wanted to tell anyone that he'd gotten his letter. They'd only ask what was in it, and he couldn't share what Alex had asked of him. Not until Evan had done it. But since she was asking him point-blank, he didn't see a reason to lie. Whoa, now he was
thinking
about whether or not to withhold information. Maybe he was as together as Alaina said.
Cool.
“Yes. Aubrey brought it to me last March.”

“She
brought
it to you? In Longview?” Tori folded her arms over her chest. “Why'd you get yours so fast when Alex was going to make me wait a year?”

Evan arched a brow at her. “Didn't he say something in your letter about perspective?”

“Yes.” She finished putting the last of the glasses in the dishwasher. She dropped a soap pellet into the compartment on the door and closed it. “Will you tell me what he wrote?”

Evan went around and recorked the bottles. He still wasn't ready to reveal the part about the novel. The same went for his new job. “It was relatively short, actually. He told me to take care of you.” He flicked her an apologetic glance. “I should've done better.”

“Don't beat yourself up. I wasn't letting anyone help me. Even if you'd been here, I likely would've pushed you away along with everyone else. I was such a head case. And kind of a bitch, too, probably.” She turned to program the dishwasher to start.

“Don't beat yourself up either,” Evan said. “Our brother killed himself. You're entitled to deal with it however you can.”

“Well, that
was
my problem. I didn't deal with it.” She turned and leaned back against the dishwasher. “What about you? How did you cope?”

That was a tough question to answer. Evan didn't typically show a lot of emotion, but that didn't mean there wasn't any. He'd been angry and sad and, most of all, confused. He just didn't understand how someone could be depressed enough to end it all. But he also accepted there were many things he'd never understand, and that was just the way his brain worked. “It might sound simplistic, but I acknowledged early on that this was a tragedy and that I couldn't change it. The only thing I could do was to keep on living.”

She came toward him, her mouth curving up. “You are the smartest, most grounded person I know. Thank God you provide some much-needed sanity in this family.” She kissed his cheek. “Now tell me what the heck is going on with you and Alaina Pierce! Was this a date?”

“No. She wanted to go wine tasting and couldn't. No big deal.”

“No big deal? You went to three different wineries, as far as I can tell, and picked up a bunch of bottles of wine. That had to have cost you at least three hundred bucks.”

“Yeah, so? I have plenty of extra money since Mom and Dad won't let me pay them rent.”

She started toward the door. “You know, it wouldn't be
bad
if you liked Alaina. Sean says she's great.”

“I
do
like her.”

Tori looked back at him over her shoulder, her brow arched. “I mean
like
like her. As in dating.” She stopped in the hallway and turned to face him. “Unless you're still together with your neighbor. What was her name?”

“Michelle.”

“That's right. You guys were together for a long time. I guess I just assumed you broke up when you moved back here.”

For nearly two years they'd done their thing, but they'd never been “together,” not in the way Tori meant. “There was nothing to break up. It wasn't serious.”

“Are you sure?” Her brow knitted, and she adopted her older-sister expression. “Evan, you do realize that she might have thought things were more serious than you did. I mean, are you sure she's okay?”