The Imaginary (7 page)

She was driving him mad. Driving him crazy. She was supposed
to
be his friend, to be his best friend, and she wouldn't even listen to him. He'd just had the most terrifying experience of his short life (two months, three weeks and a day) and what did she care about? Some spilled coins and a stupid game of hide and seek. That wasn't how a friend was supposed to behave, was it? She should have said how sorry she was and asked what she could do to make him feel better. But instead she picked up the last few coins and put them in a pile on her bedside cabinet, before turning and flashing him the sort of smile a hungry spider gives a tired fly.

What now?
he thought.

‘There you are,' Amanda said pointing at him. ‘That's the most rubbish hiding place I've ever seen. Amanda wins!'

She pumped the air with her fist, like a winner.

‘Hang on,' Rudger said, ‘that's not fair. I didn't think we were still playing.'

‘I never said we
weren't
,' Amanda explained, ‘and so I win.'

‘I've had enough of this,' he said. ‘I'm going to my wardrobe.'

He walked across the bedroom, stepped inside his wardrobe and shut the door behind him.
That'll teach her a lesson
, he thought.

‘Can we go swimming today, Mum?' Amanda asked the next morning.

She waved her spoon at the window. It had stopped raining out there, but the morning light was grey like dishwater, the rain pooled in huge puddles and drops were dripping from the blocked gutters. ‘We can't go play in the garden, and me and Rudger ain't been swimming for ages.'

Rudger looked at her. It seemed she hadn't noticed that he wasn't talking to her.

‘I suppose so,' her mum said. ‘I've got to go into town anyway, so maybe we could…'

‘Brilliant!'

Gobbling the last spoonful of her cornflakes noisily, Amanda jumped down from the table and ran upstairs.

Her
mum picked her bowl up, then stacked Rudger's on top of it. She tipped his uneaten cornflakes into the bin.

She rubbed her eyes tiredly, put the bowls in the sink, turned on the hot tap and squirted a dribble of washing-up liquid into the water.

Rudger went out to wait in the hall.

He'd teach Amanda a lesson. He'd wait until she noticed he was upset and apologised to him, and
then
he'd forgive her and everything could be as it was before.

It was a plan and he was going to stick to it.

She ran downstairs with sparkling eyes and her rucksack in her hands.

‘I've got my costume and goggles and some towels and I got a pair of shorts for you. Let's see if Mum's ready yet.'

By the time Rudger didn't reply, Amanda had already run into the kitchen.

The problem with Amanda, Rudger realised, was that she didn't
notice
things.

She hadn't noticed his fear last night and she didn't notice his silence this morning. She was off in her own world, nattering away as if Rudger was hanging on her every word, which of course he was, waiting for her apology. But as hard as he listened, none of the hundreds of words she threw into the air were the ‘sorry' he longed for.

And
although a silence is as silent as it can get, Rudger's silence still managed to grow even more so with each passing moment. Just because she'd imagined him didn't mean she could ignore his feelings.

He folded his arms and looked out of the car window.

On the pavement across from the house, under the opposite neighbour's tree, he thought for a moment he saw two figures just standing there, but as Amanda's mum reversed out of the drive, the car turned in such a way that he could no longer see them. By the time he'd swivelled to look out of the rear window, they'd gone.

Should he tell Amanda? But what could he say? She'd just take the mickey. If she hadn't noticed them, then maybe they hadn't been there. She was usually so good at noticing things, except, of course, he corrected himself, when she wasn't. He kept quiet.

Upon reflection, he thought, it
must
have been a trick of the light, just a memory from the night before echoing in his mind. He hadn't slept very well, tossing and turning in his wardrobe, and now he gave a big yawn.

‘I've always preferred the backstroke,' Amanda was saying, not noticing anything much but the sound of her own voice,
‘
because you don't get the water in your eyes so much that way. I've always reckoned that they should paint pictures on the ceiling, or maybe a comic strip or something, so you can read it as you swim. D'you agree?'

She kept on talking to him, even though his arms were crossed and his eyes were glued to the window.

‘I'm probably the
fourth
best swimmer in my class. Vincent's better than me 'cos he's got longer legs, and Taylor's got a face like a fish, so she's better than almost anyone. And I've never seen Absalom swim, so I don't know if he's better or not. Maybe I'm
third
best. What do you think, Rudger?'

There was a gap while she waited for Rudger's answer, which he didn't give, and then she went on again.

‘What I like best of all's the smell. It's sort of weird, isn't it? And the sound of it. It's like a church full of water, or a bus station perhaps. It
echoes
. And the smell is odd but nice. Some people don't like it. Julia says it stings her eyes, but that's the sort of thing she would say, isn't it, because she's allergic to peanuts.'

Rudger felt
so
annoyed with her. His anger was stuck inside him and he felt his ears might pop off at any moment and let out great gushes of steam. And all she could do was blather on.

‘
Aren't you even going to say sorry?' he blurted out when she finally paused for breath.

Amanda turned to look at him with her mouth open.

‘What are you talking about?' she asked in a quieter voice so her mum couldn't hear. ‘What do you mean, say sorry?'

This time Rudger's jaw dropped. After all this, after a whole morning of the silent treatment, of his cold shoulder, she genuinely didn't know
why
he was upset. She hadn't even noticed.

‘
What
?' she whispered.

‘Last night,' he said.

‘Oh, that!' Amanda breezily waved her hand in the air. ‘I've forgiven you for that
ages
ago.'

Rudger stamped his feet in frustration.

‘No, no, no,' he said, gritting his teeth. ‘That's not fair.
You
can't forgive
me
. That's not how it works.'

‘How would you know how it works?' Amanda said shortly, having grown tired of the conversation. ‘You're
my
'maginary friend, Rudger, not the other way round. I've been alive for
ages
more than you. You're only two months and three weeks and two days old. You know
nothing
. Without me thinking of stuff all the time you'd probably just…I don't know, fade away or something.'

‘You alright back there, darling?' Amanda's mum called over her shoulder.

‘Yes, Mum,' Amanda said cheerily.

‘That's not true. I can't fade,' Rudger said, thinking it probably was.

‘
Is too,' Amanda hissed.

‘Hmmph.'

Amanda's mum stopped the car. They'd arrived at the swimming pool.

‘Don't forget your bag, darling.'

Amanda unbuckled her seatbelt, lifted her rucksack from between her feet and opened the car door. She climbed out.

Rudger slid over the seat and got out of the same door and then they were stood on the tarmac between two parked cars.

‘Wait here, Amanda, guard the car for a sec. I'll just pop across and get a ticket.'

Mrs Shuffleup shouldered her handbag and headed off to the ticket machine to pay for their parking.

Rudger stepped out from between the cars. Although their argument, the argument he was entirely on the right side of, had been interrupted, now they were on their own he wasn't going to let it go.

‘If that's what you think,' he said, meaning that he'd fade without Amanda around to imagine him, ‘then maybe we should put it to the test. Maybe I'll go off for a bit and show you I don't need you.' He walked across the roadway and stood between the two parked cars opposite. He held his hands up so they could both see them. ‘Look, I'm not fading yet.'

‘Don't be silly, Rudger,' Amanda said, holding out her hand to him. ‘Come back here.'

‘Not until you say sorry.'

Amanda sighed. Took a deep breath. She didn't want to lose Rudger. Vincent and Julia were good friends, but only Rudger was her
best
friend. He was the one she could share the wild adventures with. Only an imaginary friend could do that. The others tried, but they could only
pretend
. Rudger was the real deal.