The Impossible Search for the Perfect Man (25 page)

‘This is wonderful,’ I tell him, fishing
out the china plates that he’s packed carefully in the bottom. 

‘I love it here,’ says Marcus wistfully,
clearly reliving some of his misspent youth – or teenaged fumblings – he
doesn’t say.  I’m about to ask, but then two things happen.  First
Elmer appears from the lake and leaps on top of us.  Then just as Marcus
drags her off us, there’s a flash of lightning followed by a clap of thunder
overhead.  And then, the heavens open.

‘Let’s get back to the car,’ shouts
Marcus, grabbing the rug and flinging everything back in the hamper as we make
a run for it.

Elmer
is loving
every second of this, leaping into the air catching raindrops, then yelping at
every crack of thunder as though it’s bitten her.  Safely inside the car,
however, Marcus looks crestfallen.

‘Don’t worry,’ I reach for his
hand.  ‘You weren’t to know.  And it’s like you said.  It’s only
rain.  It’ll pass.’

He sits there, silent, then suddenly he
leaps out of the car and strides round to my door, opening it and pulling me
outside too.  The rain has become a monsoon, soaking my clothes, slicking
my hair to my head.

‘Let go!’ I shriek, half laughing at
him.  ‘Marcus!  We’re soaked!  What are you
doing!
’ 

But he pulls me into a clearing where we
stand unsheltered beneath the sky.

‘
Okay… You said you were happy, Lou
…’
he’s shouting, because it’s raining so hard the noise is deafening.  He’s
drenched – we both are and I’ve still no idea what this is about.

‘
And proposals are supposed to be
memorable, aren’t they?
’

Did I hear him right?  My heart
misses a beat and suddenly, I’m not thinking about the rain.  There’s
another crack of thunder and a howl from the car, as there, surrounded by
water, he goes down on one knee, holding my hand tightly, pressing something
into it. 

‘
I know you’re right off weddings and
it can be a small, simple one, I don’t care, but Louisa…
will you be my
wife?
’

As he says the words, time stands still,
paradoxically, not unlike it did when Arian left me.  Only that was a
lifetime ago and this couldn’t be more different, because this is Marcus, who I
love more than anyone in the world.  His eyes are bright with excitement
and the rain and with hope, as he waits for me to say something.  I look
at him,
then
at the beautiful ring he’s just given me,
trying to scorch this extraordinary moment into my memory forever.

‘
Yes
!!’ I screech, flinging my
arms up at the merciless heavens and twirling round, and as he gets up, throw
myself into his arms.

As we drive home, the aroma of wet flatcoat
filling the car, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.  I can’t take my eyes
off the ring and I keep touching it and twisting it slightly.

‘Are you sure it fits?’  Marcus
asks.

‘
Perfectly
,’ I tell him.  I
don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop smiling.  ‘It’s the loveliest
ring.  I can’t believe you chose it.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ He
pretends to be huffy.  ‘I have excellent taste.’

Then a bit later, he pulls over and
turns the engine off, then pulls me into his arms.

‘Did you really have no idea?’ he asks.

‘None,’ I tell him. 
‘Whatsoever.  You have been quite cryptic, though.’

‘In what way?’

‘Just saying things,’ I smile at
him.  ‘Nice things, though.  So don’t worry.’

‘I’m not worrying.  I’m just
happy.’  He kisses me.

‘So am I,’ I mumble. 

And I am.  I’d no idea I could feel
like this.  It surpasses all of my weird dreams.  Then the horrific
thought occurs to me that this is actually one of them and any moment, I’ll
wake up and be in my own little bed with a sad, empty feeling because I imagined
it all... And then I’m returned to the moment by the smell of dog fart. 

And for once, there are no words.

I feel incredibly self-conscious, as if
I’m wearing the crown jewels on my left hand.  My beautiful ring is an
antique, Marcus says, because he wants everything about our getting married to
be different to my first time. 
Hallejah
!  I can get married
in pink or black or something I really love, with my hair blowing in the wind
and my feet bare on the grass… And absolutely no bridesmaids of course, because
then I’d have to ask Emma, and much though I love her, I’m not being upstaged
by anyone on my wedding day.  In the end, I decide I’m not going to tell
anyone.  I’ll wait and see if anyone notices.  But no-one says a
word, until later on, Karina calls.

‘Well?’ she says.  I’ve no idea
what she’s talking about.

‘Oh, for goodness sake, Louisa,’ says
Karina irritably.  ‘Did you say yes?’ 

‘Oh.  That.  Of course I said
yes!’ I say,
then
I’m suspicious.  ‘Was this a
set-up?  There is a carriage horse, isn’t there?  It’s really
important, you know…’

‘Thank God!’ she says.  ‘Of course
there is.  Don’t
worry,
I’ll take care of
it.  Look, congratulations.  I’m sorry but Oscar’s screaming - I have
to go.’

Most disappointingly I don’t see Emma the
whole of the rest of the day.  Sam gives me a wink across the yard, but
not even Mrs Boggle comes in tonight to tell me how she always cries at
weddings.   

And now I’ve another wedding to plan.
 
Mine and Marcus’s.
 In spite of the lack of
interest around me, I feel so zingy and happy, I could cry.

Marcus comes over to mine as soon as he
finishes work.

‘Haven’t changed your mind, have you?’
he asks teasingly, holding me close against him.

‘No way not ever,’ I say, and throw my
arms round his neck.

‘Have you fed those horses yet?’ he
asks.

‘Ages ago,’ I reply.

‘Well, it’s a bit early for the pub,’ he
says, looking at his watch.

So I take his hand and lead him
upstairs, because after all, we have lots to do.  And to start with, we
need to decide whose house we’re going to live in, and absolutely the best
place to do that from, has to be my bed.

There’s yet another surprise in store
when we get to the pub.   As we go in, I notice that everyone from
the practice is there, which is most unusual, and then they all yell
‘surprise!’

I can’t believe it.  All the vets,
Zac and Sam, Beamish and Agnes, Leonie and Pete, Rachel, even Karina, but
fortunately she’s had the good sense to leave Arian at home.  That would
have been just a little
too
weird.  But nothing can spoil this
evening for me.

It turns out I was right and the whole
lets-go-carriage-driving bit was a complete set-up, right from the
beginning.  Rachel was in on it and Karina wasn’t called out
anywhere.  Which means Marcus must have been feeling reasonably confident
to tell them before he’d even asked me.

‘My boyfriend can be just
soo
romantic, I had no idea…’ I tell Emma very smugly, feeling warm and tingly
again, now that I’m telling her about it.  ‘A picnic in one of the most
glorious spots you’ve ever seen…’  I omit the part about the thunder and
my farting dog.

Will sweeps me up in an enormous hug and
even Miles manages a wan smile.  Then someone pushes another glass of
champagne into my hand, and Beamish clears his throat and knocks on the table.

Oh no
.  Not one
of
Beamish’s
speeches.  I hope everyone’s
sitting comfortably - this isn’t going to be quick.

‘Ahem.’

Here we go…

 
‘I um, really am
delighted you are all here tonight.’  He beams round at every one, looking
highly pleased with himself as Marcus squeezes my hand.  ‘I’m sure all of
you, um, would like to join me in a toast to er, Marcus, who is a splendid um,
vet, and to Louisa, who, um, keeps
our er
, practice on
its feet… so without, further ado, a toast – to Marcus and Louisa.’

Phew.  That’s it.  Marcus and
I clink our glasses together and then everyone else want to clink glasses with
us.  I’m so happy I could fly - and it just keeps getting better.

By the time we wander home to mine, I’m
floating, literally on air, my head full of plans for our future.

‘You’re quiet,’ he remarks. 

‘Just thinking – about weddings - and
where we’re going to live, darling Marcus.  Tell me where you would like
to live.’

‘Do you know Lou, much though I like my
cottage, I think I’d like to put it on the market,’ he says decisively, making
me float a little higher
. 

 
‘So, why don’t I
move in with you and your animals, and we can just take our time
deciding.  What do you think?’ 

‘
Oh Marcus
,’ I say, my heart
singing because it’s exactly what I want too.  Then we’ll have oodles of
time to find ourselves a family sized house with a paddock and stables for
Hamish and Mavis, and bedrooms for children…and then it strikes me.  Oh my
God.  We’ve never even mentioned the subject of children… What if he’s
like Arian and doesn’t want them?  I’ll have to give him back my ring and
tell everyone the wedding’s off and it will be even worse than when Arian left
me.

Then he says casually, ‘I suppose we
ought to find somewhere with at least three bedrooms.  I mean,
hopefully
…’

Then I come back a little to earth,
because he stops walking and turns to look at me.  ‘Well, I sort of
assumed we’d have children… you better tell me if I’m wrong… we haven’t talked
about it, have we?’

There’s a brief silence as the hugest smile
plasters itself across my face.

‘I want loads and loads of children,’ I
say, flinging my arms around him.  ‘Well, at least two or three. 
If we can.
 And if not, we’ll adopt lots of
orphans…’ 

Marcus silences me with an absolute
smacker of a kiss.  I think I can safely say that we’re in agreement on
this one, too.

Oh, Lordy.  I am now instrumental
in planning
two
weddings, and am whirling around feeling madder than
ever.  Normal humans who do that are rather glamorous and

called
wedding organisers, so I’ve no idea what’s going wrong.

Last weekend I took Marcus home to meet
my parents.  Mum was a bit sniffy to start with, but Dad was Dad, and
welcomed him warmly to our family.  Even Mum thawed in the end, especially
when Marcus told her what a delicious lunch it was, which it really, truly
wasn’t, though thankfully she didn’t cook sprouts.  

Marcus can be very charming. He also
said to them that seeing as it was my second marriage, it would be different
this time and that though we weren’t quite sure what we were doing yet, we
would love them to be an important part of it, but we would be paying.  So
Dad said immediately that he’d like to buy the wine, and Mum wants to help me
chose my dress – all this, even though we haven’t set a date…

In turn, Marcus takes me down to
Salcombe to meet his family, which is lovely but jolly scary.  He says
it’s okay to take Elmer and we leave Horace and Mavis in the capable hands of
Emma.  Salcombe is gorgeous, but I’m too nervous to enjoy myself, even
though Marcus’s parents turn out to be lovely and his Mum says she’s so glad to
see him happy after everything he’s been through. 

But we take Elmer for
some lovely walks, and Marcus tells me how when he was a boy, his father was
hideously strict.
 

‘You’d never know now,’ he says
ruefully, ‘but I wouldn’t say it was the happiest time. I don’t want us to be
like that with our children,
Lou,
I want them to have
idyllic, carefree childhoods, if we’re able to give them that.’

Gosh.  So do
I
. 
In fact, I can’t wait to get started on the children part of things
.
 
I can see them already - an adorable little pink-cheeked baby sleeping in an
old fashioned wooden cradle, wrapped in snuggly blankets like the one I bought
for little Oscar.  I can just see too, tangle-haired toddlers running
around on the lawn with chocolate on their faces and an elderly, grizzle-faced
Elmer as their nanny, and when they’re older, having all their friends round
for tons of parties that Marcus and I’ll moan about, because ours will be the
kind of house where everyone wants to be.

‘Louisa?’ Marcus is saying to me. 
‘
Louisa?
Did you hear me?  You were miles away again…’

My state of bliss doesn’t alter.  I
honestly can’t believe how I feel and how incredibly, unbelievably lucky I am.
 Have I really found my happy ending?  I have this wonderful man in
my life who wants to marry me, all these fantastic friends and a job I
absolutely love.  It’s as though everything in my life that has gone
before was simply building up to this. 

The past is just that – the past - and I
don’t feel even a tiny bit smug or self-deserving.  I’ve learned the hard
way that you can afford to take nothing for granted and so I just feel quietly,
gratefully incredulous, as I wonder at the way things have turned out. 
And very slowly, allow myself to get a little bit used to it too.   

It’s one of those rare, fairy-tale
interludes and I bask in every single second of it.  It lasts for a few
blissful days.  And then I get home from work to find a message on my
answerphone.  As I play it back, reality strikes with a vengeance and my
bubble well and truly bursts.