The Inner Circle, Book 3 of the Glass Wall ( A YA Urban Fantasy Romance ) (12 page)

“You’re going Christmas shopping with me and
Grace tonight,” he announced, giving me a playful punch on the
shoulder. “We’ll wait for you after work.”

“Oh?” I asked with a fake smile. I wasn’t in
a shopping mood. I had Al to push and tulpas to research. And
Rafael to be depressed about.

“You don’t have a choice,” he said
cheerfully. “And you better get up front. Samantha wants foamy
butterflies out of you. Ten of them.”

Reluctantly, I followed him to the front
counter. To my relief, Rafael was gone. I folded my arms on the
granite countertop and buried my head a moment, illogically upset
that he really
was
leaving me alone.

And then a fellow barista named Denise
whacked me on the top of the head with a rolled up newspaper and
ordered me to get to work on the espresso machine.

I tried to listen to her instructions. But I
was just too distracted. I couldn’t shake Rafael from my thoughts,
and it only got worse by the minute.

“Let me taste it,” Denise ordered in her best
Samantha imitation.

Shaken from my thoughts, I blinked a little
and handed her the drink.

She wrinkled her nose as if the smell
offended her.

I guess it did.

“What is this?” she asked in a disdainful
tone. “Some kind of science experiment?” Slamming the cup onto the
counter, she turned away.

I squinted at the cup. I didn’t care for
coffee. Or at least the concoction that I had made. I took a sip
and gagged. It tasted like a mixture of chocolate and canker sore
medicine.

Denise set me to practicing for an hour,
twirling hearts and ferns into the frothy, silky foam and placing
marshmallows “just so” in the cups. It was hard, especially when
she watched my every move with a critical eye. She was actually
much worse than Samantha.

Samantha herself wandered by at times to
watch. And every time she left, she told me, “Remember, Sydney.
Everything we do is about flavor!”

As the afternoon progressed, the shop emptied
and gray clouds covered the sky. A light drizzle began to fall.

Grace showed up shortly before our shift
ended.

“Going Christmas shopping with us after work,
Sydney?” she asked as she ordered a latte.

“Yeah, Sydney,” Ellison chimed in as he sent
me a pleading puppy-eyed look. He reached over and swatted my arm.
“You can’t say no.”

They were clearly teaming up.

“I dunno,” I said, thinking it just might be
a good idea. I was getting exhausted from the continuous swarm of
thoughts whirling around in my head. Maybe Christmas shopping would
be a good distraction.

And then our shift ended. Tossing my
disposable gloves into the trash, I untied my apron and headed to
the back to collect my things.

Grace and Ellison were waiting for me. Each
descending upon one side, they locked their elbows through
mine.

“You’re going,” Grace said. “You don’t have a
choice.”

“Fine,” I said, giving in. It was nice to
have friends. I certainly could use a good distraction.

I followed Grace to the parking lot to wait
for Ellison to bring up his car. I glanced around, but there was no
sign of Mesmers.

It was a little strange, almost as if they’d
suddenly lost interest in me.

Or maybe it was a new fear tactic.

I refused to let that thought take hold and
instead watched Grace karate-kick and punch the air. She was
certainly built to be a cop. I wondered if she was serious about
it, and then Ellison arrived before I could ask.

The ride to the mall was a short one. Grace
and Ellison chattered the whole time, and I was left alone with my
thoughts. I liked that.

The Town Square Mall was filled with holiday
shoppers. I watched lines of people stream into stores. I wasn’t
really eager to join the crowd, but Grace and Ellison forged
fearlessly on.

I followed, sidestepping a bickering couple
lugging bags and nearly ran into an elderly man pulling a portable
oxygen tank. I smiled apologetically and held the door open for
him. He patted me on the head as he passed by.

The gesture filled me with a strange longing.
I wistfully watched him go, wishing that I had a grandfather. What
would it be like to have a Christmas with a fireplace and a
laughing family?

“Are you coming, Sydney?” Grace was watching
me curiously.

“Sorry,” I mumbled, hurrying after them.

“Well, I’m not going to name any names, but
look who’s here,” Ellison said, coughing to cover a laugh as Grace
dissolved into a fit of giggles.

I followed his gaze to see Rafael a short
distance away, leaning against the wall with his brown leather
jacket casually tossed over one shoulder and his hands tucked into
his designer jeans.

He looked ridiculously handsome.

And he was looking directly at me. This time,
his gray eyes were rimmed with only a light application of black
eyeliner and nothing else. Briefly, I wondered at the change, but
then he was moving towards me and I panicked.

It was the look in his eyes. A look that
spoke volumes. A look that promised words I wanted to hear.

This was how he was leaving me alone?

It was then that I knew the truth. With
Rafael, I couldn’t pretend to be something I wasn’t. I was useless
as a spy.

I knew I had to escape.

If I let him catch me, I was going to turn
into a useless mush of feelings and probably end up kissing him all
night. And while that was tempting—oh sooooo tempting—I knew that I
had to stay focused.

There was just too much at stake.

Turning away, I dove into the sea of people,
weaving through the throng of shoppers, but Ellison ran after me
and caught my sleeve.

“Hey, you should really talk to him,” he
said.

“Yeah, just talk it out.” Grace came up
behind us. And then adopting an innocent expression, she added,
“Love. The more you resist it, the more it grows.”

I scowled at them both. “Did you bring me
here on purpose?”

“He asked me to this morning,” Ellison
admitted sheepishly and hiked a thumb over his shoulder to where
Rafael had paused to wait.

And then Grace was putting Ellison into a
headlock and dragging him away. I was only partially sorry to see
them go.

Rafael took that as his cue to sweep in, but
I wasn’t so easy.

Heading back into the crowd, I navigated
through the corridor and skipped up the escalator to take refuge
behind a group of potted trees decked out with Christmas
ornaments.

Below me, I could see Rafael walking through
the crowds. He was easy to find as he was taller than almost
everyone else. Several times, he passed by a mirror. Strangely, he
ignored his own reflection. It was the first time I hadn't seen him
stop to check out his hair.

And then the crowd swept him away.

Now was my chance to leave.

Pulling my phone out, I texted Grace that I’d
see her at home later, and then tucking my phone back into my
sweatshirt, I turned.

And ran straight into Rafael’s muscular
chest.

“You can try running from me, little pixie,”
he said in a low voice. “But it will never work.”

‘Pixie’. My knees went weak. He hadn’t called
me that in some time. It was hardly fair to start calling me that
again right now. “What are you doing here?” I asked sharply.

But instead of answering, he gave a sudden,
sharp intake of breath and yanked my wrists, pulling me behind the
potted plants as he covered my mouth with his hand.

His strong arms encircled my waist, and I
felt his hard chest against my back. I was too stunned to
react.

And then I saw Marquis pass by, his head
swiveling from side to side.

I froze.

Marquis paused for several interminably long
moments, and then slowly, he turned away and headed down the
stairs.

Once he’d disappeared from sight, Rafael
removed his hand from my mouth and pulled me forward.

I didn’t resist.

I let him guide me through the maze of
shoppers, his hand firmly locked over mine. I knew I was safe with
him. But as we stepped out into the cold air, I rounded on him and
forced him to stop.

“What’s going on?” I asked, nodding back at
the mall. “You aren’t really one of them, are you?”

There was a haunted look in his eyes as he
replied, “I’ve always been part of the Inner Circle, Sydney. Since
childhood.”

“But you aren’t bad,” I insisted. “You keep
saving me. Protecting me.”

“Did you really think I wouldn’t?” His gray
eyes were alive with feeling.

My heart hammered against my ribs.

And then he guided me across the parking lot
to his Bentley. In silence, we got into the car, and I watched him
pull out onto the street and effortlessly navigate through the
Christmas rush. His jaw was firm, his eyes riveting whenever they
strayed across mine, but for the most part he kept his gaze focused
on the road.

He didn’t speak until he’d pulled into Al and
Betty’s driveway. Leaning against the steering wheel, he said in a
low voice, “Fate isn’t something you can fool, Sydney. I should
have known that.”

I could barely make out his stricken
expression in the dark. And then he abruptly struck his fist
against the window.

“And in spite of the fact that you’re making
this even harder, I have only myself to blame for this whole
situation,” he said with a wince. “I’ve already failed.”

“Making it harder?” I repeated, my brows
lifting in surprise.

“Your message this morning,” he said,
lowering his voice.

I frowned in confusion. “Asking you to leave
me alone? What are you talking about?”

He stiffened and then gave me a long steady
look. “Leave you alone?” And then nodding sharply, he waved at the
house. “You’re home now. You can leave.”

“I don’t get it,” I said. I wasn’t about to
leave. “What—”

“Go, Sydney,” he said abruptly. And then he
closed his eyes and whispered, “Please, just go.”

Each syllable was cold and felt like a dagger
through my heart.

Suddenly hurt, I reacted by doing just as he
suggested. I kicked the door open and jumped out. And as soon as
the car door slammed shut, he tore out of the driveway, zoomed down
the street, and was gone.

“Psycho!” I scowled.

Grabbing my phone, I dug up our conversation
from that morning and read it again.

And then my heart stopped.

I’d meant to type “Leave me alone”.
Autocorrect had changed it to “Love me alone”.

Stunned, my eyes locked onto his reply.

Of course!
Of course, he would love me
alone.

I closed my eyes.

Suddenly, the implications were
horrendous.

It had all been hypothetical before, but now
I
really
internalized just what it would truly mean if
Rafael were to love me.

It meant that he would suffer. He’d carry an
unbearable burden the rest of his life, the knowledge that he was
responsible for destroying the Tree of Life.

I couldn’t let him love me. I loved him too
much to hurt him in that way.

I wanted to cry, but tears refused to
come.

“Are you coming in, kiddo?” Al’s voice asked
in the darkness by the garage.

“I’m scared, Al,” I said, rooted to the spot.
My voice was shaky.

I heard his footsteps crunching down the
driveway towards me. “What’s happened—” he began.

But I lunged at him and hugging him tightly,
buried my face in his solid, warm shoulder. “I think I’ve done
something really wrong,” I said, my voice wobbling. “I think I made
Rafael fall in love with me.”

Al patted me on the head. “No one can
make
someone fall in love, kiddo,” he said. “If he’s in love
with you, it’s his own choice.”

“But he can’t,” I whispered,
horror-stricken.

“Why not?” he asked. “You’ve got feelings for
that kid, too. It’s plain on your face every time you look at
him.”

I didn’t know how to tell him, so I settled
for saying, “It can’t end well. I can’t let it happen.”

“Real love won’t be denied, Sydney,” Al said
with a laugh. “You can pretend you don’t feel it, but that won’t
make it go away. That’s one of the ways you know it’s real.”

I lifted my chin stubbornly. “We’ll see about
that,” I said.

“Sure thing,” he said, reaching over to pat
me on the head again. “Why don’t you help me take in the trash
since you’re out here?”

We didn’t say anything else as we dragged the
trashcans back to the garage, and feeling miserable, I slipped into
a comfortable pair of sweats and an oversized T-shirt and went
directly to bed.

It was a horrible night.

I couldn’t sleep. I’d never felt more
depressed in my life.

I tossed and turned, feeling absolutely
hideous inside.

At some point, I fell asleep, because all I
recalled was being startled awake with a jerk and a sudden sense of
falling.

For a moment, I stayed as I was, eyes closed,
flat on my back.

But then I knew I wasn’t alone.

A blanket of fear and depression settled over
me, so strong I could hardly open my eyes.

And then I saw it.

Close to the ceiling, hovering over Jerry’s
cage, with its long, black, snake-like appendages, was the mutant
tulpa, reaching out for me.

I wanted to
scream, but I couldn’t. My body was paralyzed. I could only watch
as the tulpa’s black feelers insidiously stretched out in all
directions. Several black, oily coils protruded from what seemed to
be its head, and as one of its black legs touched the top of
Jerry’s cage, the tulpa instinctively jerked back as if it had been
burnt.

And then it moved.

It began to slink my way, its long spindly
legs reaching out for me. It was a hideous thing to see and even
worse to feel. The full weight of the fear it exuded overwhelmed
me, physically pushing me down into the bed. Immediately, I wanted
to give up. I didn’t see the point of fighting. It would just be
easier to let the fear consume me and to let it turn me into
itself.