The Inscription (26 page)

The bleeding had stopped after the first full day. During the second, he hadn’t seemed to move a muscle. If she lifted the bandages, what would she find? Scars?

She paced back and forth in front of the bed, then realized she’d worn a path in the rush-strewn floor. Pausing in front of Lachlan, she made her decision.

Amber pulled back the blanket and began to carefully unwind the bandages. This was crazy. All she would accomplish was to open his wounds and to acknowledge the fact that she’d allowed her imagination to run wild. It was a journey to somewhere in between
The Island of Dr. Moreau
and never-never land.

Her hands shook as she removed the last linen strip. His injuries had healed. She had a moment’s elation at the thought he’d survived before the realization hit. Lachlan’s chest was bare, the muscles well defined and… there were no lingering puncture wounds from the arrows. She staggered back. Impossible.

A knock startled her. Quickly she hid the bandages and covered Lachlan with the blankets.

Marcail entered. She was wearing red brocade and her hair was tucked neatly in place.

“I have heard that you insisted on caring for Lachlan.”

Amber combed her fingers through her tangled hair. All she could do was nod. Her body was still shaking. She didn’t trust herself to speak. Her suspicions had been confirmed. It had been the same for Gavin and now, she suspected, O’Donnell as well. No scars. She felt her knees go weak and reached over to the bedpost for support. There were voices in the hall. Before she could understand what they were saying, two serving women, red-faced and out of breath, hurried into the room.

Marcail motioned to the adjoining room. “Pull out the bathtub and fill it all the way to the top.”

Within the next half hour a parade of women passed before Amber, until the tub was filled with steaming water.

Marcail smiled. She touched Amber on the shoulder. “Your vigil has tired you greatly. Please, allow yourself this luxury. It will soothe your mind as well as refresh your body.”

Amber tried to smile in response to the woman’s kindness. There were several things she should ask Marcail: had she made a decision about O’Donnell, had anyone heard from Elaenor, how was Gavin doing, and had they buried MacDougal. But the concept that Lachlan couldn’t die dominated her thoughts. Her heart felt as though it was beating as fast as a hummingbird’s wings. All she could do was to hold on. The thick, wooden bedpost was the only reality she could trust.

The women left, followed by Marcail, plunging the room into a smothering silence. Amber fought the overpowering desire to run. She needed to think this through calmly. She wandered into the adjoining room and stared at the wooden tub until her vision blurred. A bath might indeed calm her down. She peeled off her clothes, threw them on the chair and tested the water with her hand. It was already starting to cool. She climbed in and leaned her head back until it touched the edge. She closed her eyes. The world she had begun to build around Lachlan had shattered like a china plate. No matter how you tried to repair the porcelain, you’d always see the cracks.

Amber sank deeper into the bath, feeling the water swirl around her as the realization hit her full force. He was immortal. She would age, become feeble and infirm, an albatross around Lachlan’s neck, while he would always look like a Viking warrior.

A slight moan came from the direction of the bed. Amber sat up and water sloshed over the sides of the tub spilling onto the floor. She heard the sound again. This time mumbled words were added, but she couldn’t move. It was almost as though she were afraid to see his condition.

He was coming out of the deep sleep. He muttered the words, “Time is an illusion.”

The world that had stood still moments before began to spin. The words he’d spoken repeated themselves over and over. She knew them so well. It was the first part of the inscription written in her aunt’s copy of
The Canterbury Tales
. “Time is an illusion and love the only reality.”

The door to the other room banged open and a crowd of people hurried in. Amber made a wild grab for the towel on the hook. One consolation; they weren’t paying any attention to her. They were all huddled around Lachlan’s bed. She stepped out of the tub, made for the archway and crept out of sight.

Lachlan watched her flick a linen cloth over the mantel. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like? I’m dusting.”

He reached out and grasped her wrist. Beneath his fingers her pulse raced as if she had been running.

“I have servants who can accomplish that task.”

“Of, course you do. But I’m really upset, and this always worked for my aunt.”

He paused and knew he did not want to hear the answer to his question. “Why are you angry?”

Amber pulled away from him and backed toward the fireplace. “You should be dead, or close to it.”

“You are ”not pleased I survived?“

She turned to face the empty hearth. “That’s not what I mean, and you know it. At first no one would let me in to see you. I had to sneak past Angus and found you unconscious on the bed. There was so much blood.”

He pulled her against his chest. She was trembling again. “My injuries were not as serious as they appeared.”

Amber turned in his arms and looked up at him.

“It’s more than being able to recover from such a terrible attack. You don’t have any scars. I know, I checked.”

“I am alive. Is that not enough?”

“No it’s not. I need to know why.”

Lachlan released her and walked over to the window. He opened the shutters and a cool breeze drifted in. Stars dusted the cloudless sky. He cursed Angus for dropping his guard and letting Amber into his chamber. Lachlan drew in a deep breath. No, he could not blame his friend. This woman would have moved the castle to accomplish her goal. And her mission had been to help him. It was important that he trust her.

“I have more than the normal ability to recover from injuries.”

“No kidding. It’s more than that.”

Lachlan nodded. “Aye, it is more.”

Amber began to drum her fingers on the bedpost “You are immortal.”

She had said the words calmly, too calmly. He turned and looked at her and read the confusion in her eyes. “I know it is hard for you to understand the concept.”

She shrugged. “You’d be surprised at what I would be able to ‘understand.’ I’m assuming this is a family trait?”

He nodded, aware that she was building to something. He wished he knew whatever it was, so that he could be better prepared for the battle.

“O’Donnell, Angus, Marcail and all the people who crowded around your bed, are they also part of this immortal club? And while we’re on the subject, why were they in your room?”

“They wished to welcome me back to life.”

“Of course, silly me. That’s perfectly natural.” He noticed her fists clenched at her side. “But it’s not natural, is it? So explain to me, in simple words, why it is that you and O’Donnell, and all the rest, can’t die?”

It struck him that she would accept only the truth.

Anything less, he would lose her. That was not some-flung he was prepared to risk, and what she was about to hear he knew she would find hard to believe. But she had the courage to pull him out of the bloodlust when he’d fought those who had killed MacDougal. He could trust that she would open her mind to new possibilities.

‘It began so long ago that the years number in the thousands, when human sacrifices to selfish gods were common practice. My people were gentle and peace-loving. But our island home was easy prey and frequently we were attacked. Knowing we could not stop the senseless murders, we searched for ways to help the victims survive. The ancients discovered a method to help the body heal from injury through a potion comprised of herbs and plant life from the sea. A stab wound healed in a matter of days, a broken bone within hours, and a scratch in minutes. They continued to perfect the formula and administered it at birth. The doses were continued each year until the age of seven. It was never designed to prolong life. That was never the purpose, but that was exactly what happened.“

“That’s an understatement.” Her voice quavered. “Any chance a mere mortal, like me, could get a drink of the fountain of youth?”

Lachlan shook his head. “The formula was lost when our island began to sink back into the sea.”

“I had to ask.” Amber twisted her hands together. “Suppose, just for the sake of argument, I believe all of this.” She paused. “I…” She swallowed and straightened. “I’m going to grow old, you’re not. That’s die bottom line. I don’t know if I can do that. Every time I look at my reflection in the mirror, I’ll wonder what you’re thinking when you see me. Will you still love me when I’m old? Will you stay with me out of pity, or obligation?”

She held up her hand as though to fend off an assault. “Don’t give me a flowery speech about how you only see what is in the soul of a person. I’m an ‘actions speak louder than words’ kind of woman. I’m going to have to work this through myself.”

He could read the play of emotions that crossed her face and saw the deep fear. And he felt powerless to help her. “Amber, you know how I feel.”

“Do I?” She sank down on the ground, as though all the strength had gone out of her legs. “I had foolish dreams that I could help you discover the excitement of our just spending time together. Of the importance of family. Time, I felt, was on my side. Because, as we all grow older and face our own mortality, we want to leave a little of what we are behind. We want to make a difference, we want to be remembered and to know that our lives counted for something.” Tears brimmed in her eyes. “I’ve accepted that I’ll never see my parents, my brother, or my aunt again, but they are always in my heart. I am who I am because of them. How can I make you understand?”

She took a ragged breath of air. “You’ll never grow old?”

He crossed over to the window and watched the whitecaps form on the loch. She was right about everything, even though he was unable to change. “I am immortal. For me, time is an illusion. I cannot change who I am.”

Her voice lowered. “Well, time is not an illusion for me. It’s very real. Each second, minute and day is precious. Maybe I value it because I can see myself changing, whereas you will always be as you are now. Fifty days, or fifty years, you’ll be the same… and I’m afraid we will grow apart.”

Lachlan turned to face her. He wished he could ease the pain reflected in her eyes. “Please believe that I will remain with you.”

Amber blinked away the tears. “That’s the problem. I know you won’t leave me. But I want more. I want you to stay because you love me.”

Lachlan rubbed the back of his neck. He wanted to take her in his arms and kiss away her doubts, but they would still be there the next day, and the next.

‘^bur love made me feel whole. When first I
gazed
on you, your physical appearance was beyond my dreams of beauty. Now I see more. Your radiance shall never be dimmed in my eyes.“

“Lachlan.” Her voice was whisper-soft. She ran to him and into his arms. “Hold me. Ifs hard for me to think it will work out between us. Where I come from, loving a person is very complicated. The big trend now is doing things together. When I’m ninety, I won’t be able to do the same things that I can now.”

He cupped her chin in his hands. “And what is it that you like to do?”

“I like to run.”

“For what purpose?”

She shrugged. “Just for the exercise.”

Lachlan smiled. “Then I shall look forward to your being ninety. I hate to run without a reason for the effort.”

A rooster crowed in the courtyard. Amber laid out the ingredients on the long trestle table in the cook-room. Eggs, flour, ground cocoa beans… she was forgetting something. Ever since Lachlan had been awakened by Marcail, Amber had been restless and unable to sleep. It had to do with Una. After an hour of tossing and turning Amber had given up and decided to bake brownies. If d seemed like a good idea at the time, but she kept remembering the depth of her conversation with Lachlan last night.

Most of it had been random thoughts spoken out loud, the “what ifs” of their relationship. Inevitably the subject of children arose. He had told her not to worry. She couldn’t get pregnant. Amber remembered how uneasy she’d felt and then she recalled having a similar conversation with Elaenor. The young woman was convinced she couldn’t have a child until she’d wanted one.

Amber had pressed harder. Lachlan explained that immortals were in a state of suspended sterility until they drank a magic potion. And, of course, there had to be a list of requirements. First, because he was the leader, he needed permission to even talk about the issue; the union of the person he’d chosen had to be approved, the stars had to be in the right alignment in the sky, and on and on. Knowing she couldn’t get pregnant should have been comforting, but it wasn’t. She had never appreciated how much she wanted children until remaining with Lachlan meant it was not possible.

She stared at the scattered ingredients on the table, unable to move. Amber reminded herself she’d been forced to absorb some pretty weird stuff in the last twenty-four hours and should take it one step at a time. Right before she’d drifted to sleep in Lachlan’s arms, she’d come to realize how deeply she loved him. Maybe, she reflected, that was enough.

Amber hadn’t seen Lachlan for two whole days. She sat on a bench in the waning light of a crescent moon looking at a white rose. She pulled off the soft petals, one by one.

“He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me.” She tossed the flower on the ground and stared at the sky. That was not the question. The question was whether he loved her enough. Enough to love her when she grew old, enough to learn to value life in the same way she did. She leaned over, picked up the rose and twirled the stem between her fingers. Maybe she was asking too much.

Footsteps sounded on the walkway and she turned around expectantly. It wasn’t Lachlan. Marcail stood in the shadows, wearing a gown of black silk. The dress was more severe in style than usual. Maybe she should ask Marcail if she had another dress just like it. It fit Amber’s mood. She returned to her flower.

The swish of material invaded the silence as Marcail approached and sat down. “There is a great sadness in your expression. And I know Lachlan to be the cause.”

Amber held the stem of the rose tighter, accidentally pricking her finger on a thorn. A droplet of blood fell to the ground. She sucked on the cut on her finger.

“Tomorrow there will be a small scar where I scratched my skin. If the same thing had happened to you or Lachlan there wouldn’t be a mark.”

“That is true. However, do not deny the love between you and Lachlan. It shines so bright that many are warmed when they are near both of you.”

“You’re talking about how I feel about Lachlan.

What about you and O’Donnell. Have you resolved your differences?“

Marcail fingered the pearls at her throat. “He made love to another.”

The rose petals crushed in Amber’s hand. “And exactly how long ago did this happen? Five years, ten, a hundred?”

“One hundred and twenty years ago. But time does not diminish the hurt, nor the offense.”

“I agree, but I’ll ask you the same question you asked me. Do you love him?”

Marcail looked at her hands in her lap. “Yes, but I cannot forgive him.”

Amber tossed the remaining petals to the ground. “I wish I shared your dilemma. He has traveled a long way just to find you, and is determined to wait until you change your mind.” She laughed bitterly. “You have something I will never have; time. Everyone makes mistakes. However, it’s how we react to them that makes the difference. You and O’Donnell have time. Lachlan and I do not.”

Marcail smiled. “I have lived to see the rise and fall of many civilizations, yet you have the wisdom to remind me of a truth I had long forgotten. Time is an illusion, Lady Amber, and love is the only reality. Listen to your own advice and do not be afraid of your emotions. They are what make us feel alive.” Marcail reached out and squeezed Amber’s hand. “Put aside logic, and listen to your heart. Lachlan needs you but he is not able to ask for your help.” She paused. “Una is dying. This has affected him greatly. He has not yet allowed himself to grieve. Indeed he does not know how. Go to him.”

A single candle on the mantel illuminated Una’s room. Amber, entering, saw that Lachlan knelt in the shadows beside the bed. He held the old woman’s frail hand. The silence ticked by in slow motion and the similarities between her aunt and Una merged. She was glad that Marcail had told her. Lachlan shouldn’t be alone. Amber had been teaching a class when she’d learned her best friend had been killed in a plane crash. The bottom of her world had fallen out.

She walked over to the bed wondering why he wasn’t talking to Una. It would help pass the time, for both of them. Looking closer, Amber had the answer. Una was already dead. She put her hand on Lachlan’s shoulder, wishing she’d come sooner.

“She has gone.” His voice was only a whisper.

Amber knelt beside him, putting her arm around his waist and moved closer until their bodies were touching. “I know.”

“I could not love her the way she wanted me to. For that, I hated myself. She deserved so much.”

“You gave your friendship.” Amber rested her head on his shoulder. “Do you know how rare that is? I mean, the type of friendship you and Una shared? You did not judge or try to change each other. It was pure acceptance.” She felt the tears brim in her eyes. She’d shared that gift with the friend who had died in the plane crash.

Lachlan turned toward her. “What am I to do now?”

“Remember her. Keep her always in your heart. That way she will never die.”

He drew her tightly against him. “The pain and regret are more then I can bear.”

Amber felt his tears against her cheek as he silently mourned Una’s death.

“ ‘Twas Subedei’s men who attacked you and killed the dog.”

Lachlan pushed away from the table and looked over at Angus. The Great Hall was empty as many had retired for the night. Now only the two of them remained. Una’s burial had taken place that morning and a day of celebration had been declared in her honor. Lachlan knew Angus had delayed informing him of the identity of the men until now out of respect for Una’s passing. The man was a good friend.

Lachlan nodded. “Subedei grows bold. Double the guard.”