The Intern Affair (80 page)

“Talya, please, no more toying. Just tell me why you don’t know if you would marry Samir.”

“Okay. Samir has not proposed to me
—
not officially anyway
—
and he’s only given me the name for six months, which to me means that he’s giving himself time to see if our relationship would flourish or could stand the test of time.”

“I see, and how do you feel about that?”

“Uncertain, is the best way I could put it.”

“Do you love him…?” He paused. “Let me re-phrase that; are you in love with him?”

“I believe I am,” Talya replied hesitantly.

“Why do you hesitate? After what you’ve been through together and the protection and understanding he has offered you, I should think you would know how you feel by now.”

“Yes, I should, shouldn’t I? Yet, there is something that’s stopping me from throwing myself in his arms.”

“Are you afraid of the future he would offer you?”

“No, not really, because his future is one of freedom, as far as I could see and before you ask, he is Muslim, but does not seem to want to impose any sort of religion on me.”

“So what is it?”

“I told you this before I left
Dakar
,
Alhassan
, and although I have now relived my memories and closed the door on my nightmare forever, I still love my freedom. I don’t know if that will ever change. I cannot see myself as the devoted wife. That’s what stopping me.”

“Yes, I heard these words from you before. What’s more, I have concluded that you’re right. You are not the marrying type. What you lost in your youth, although could be erased from your memory, could not be replaced by anything
—
you’ve lost your mother’s instinct. Am I correct?”

“No, I don’t think that’s entirely true. I still feel very protective of children, but even if that were the case, I don’t see why I can’t live with a man and enjoy life with him
—
leaving family life or children aside
—
”

“You can’t leave family and children aside, Talya, that’s impossible!”

“So, what do I do now? You are saying that I can’t live happily with a man unless he is a loner like me, is that it?”

“Yes. I think you’ve summed it up pretty well. When you refuse my marriage proposal
—
or deferred it at least
—
you offered me the same reasons and argument. You said that I would return to the family fold sooner than later and that I would not be able to follow you to the four corners of the world, and you were right. Although I am still in love with you
—
more than you would ever know
—
I could not marry you
. I would be miserable without my father or being away from the world I know. I would run back. I know that now.”

Talya remained silent for a moment.

“Yet, with Samir it is slightly different
—
”

“How? How is it different, Talya? He has a family; he has obligations, and even a daughter to raise. So, tell me how different could that situation be?”

“He’s been away from his family and from his relations for decades now. He deliberately stayed away to raise his daughter
—
”

“Exactly my point. He sacrificed his station in life for his family and for his daughter.”

“Yes, that’s true. One of the first thing he said to me when I was on the point of walking away, he offered me to raise his daughter. However, I believe it was a kindly gesture on his part. He thought that perhaps by putting me in a position of assuming responsibility for his daughter’s education, I would be swayed into returning to him.”

“I didn’t know about that, of course, but it only confirms what I said earlier
—
he will be trying to involve you into his family, because of the fact that you couldn’t have any children of your own. He would try to awake your mother’s instincts once again
—
”

“I know, you’re right, and I know that I wouldn’t be able to do it. I haven’t the desire to care for a child, or to assume family responsibilities, however simple and uninvolved they may be. Yes, I envy a mother and child relationship, yes, I long for the closeness of a family, but I know that in the end, I would run away.”

“So, now that we’ve sorted out our feelings, what are we going to do?”
Alhassan
asked.

“I can’t tell you what you should do,
Alhassan
, but as for me, I will wait until Samir proposes (if he ever does) and then I’ll put my cards on the table.”

“No.”

Talya was surprised
—
she didn’t expect that reply.

“No, Talya, you should listen to your heart, not ‘put your cards on the table’, as you say. Listen to your heart. I told you before, you are cold and calculating when it comes to business, however, this is not a business decision that you shall make, it’s a decision of the heart.”

“Yes, I agree, I am cold
—
or was anyway
—
but on this occasion, I think I will need to explain to Samir how I feel.”

“Absolutely
—
no denying that
—
but think before you speak, please. Let him know how your heart feels before you
explain
anything.”

“What about us,
Alhassan
?”

He smiled. “I am glad that you are the one asking that question, Talya. It used to be the reverse between us. I was always the one asking you ‘what about us,’ do you remember?”

“Yes, I do. So what’s the answer?”

“You know what the answer is, Talya. We shall work together
—
probably for years
—
and maybe one day, we’ll find ourselves at the doorstep of another adventure, but this time, I promise you, I will not walk into dark streets at night.”

135

Samir looked
at
Alhassan
when he entered his room.
Alhassan
’s chair was facing the terrace, looking out onto Yoff’s beach. He didn’t turn around when Samir approached.

“I don’t know if I should curse you or thank you,”
Alhassan
said as Samir sat down beside him.

Eventually,
Alhassan
turned his head to look at his friend. He smiled.

“I am not going to apologize for what I feel,
Alhassan
, you know that. I love Talya, and I shall ask her to marry me.”

“I gathered that. However, I must warn you…, actually no, I must
advise
you that Talya will not accept your proposal of marriage if you so much as introduce her to a family environment.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I may not be as perceptive as you are, Samir, but I have had plenty of time to think about Talya—lying in a hospital bed gave me that privilege. Flirting with death has also given me the sagacity and understanding of my behaviour toward her, which in turn opened my eyes and revealed the fact that I could never hope to marry her while expecting to find happiness in such a union. I have also learned (at my expense, I might add) that Talya will not accept a collar or a leash if the only thing you want to do is to pet her.
Mansur
saw this character trait in her long before I even realized that I was in love with her. Moreover, what she has suffered in her childhood may have been erased from her memory, although I doubt it, it will never be replaced or exchanged for pretended love of children or family.”

“I don’t—”

Alhassan
held up his hand saying, “Let me finish. Talya knows that you have sacrificed your position in
Qatar
to raise your daughter. She knows also that you have a great sense of responsibility toward your family—all laudable qualities as far as she is concerned—but this is something Talya can’t comprehend. As you remember, I am sure, we discussed this before you left for
Vancouver
; she will never talk about her mother, because the woman had hurt her in some ways during her lifetime, and Talya needs to forgive her in memory before you can hope to have her as a wife.”

“Yes, and I am happy to see that you have remembered her words, and what you’ve surmised has been confirmed to me during this trip. For one thing, she has an insatiable need for evasion when dealing with a problem. For another, she has befriended
Jasmin
, my daughter, yes, but she has not demonstrated motherly love toward her. Mind you I didn’t expect her to ever become a Touareg wife or mother, no, but I can sense that she is a loner at heart.”

“Since you have seen this in her, will you still propose to her?”

“Perhaps,
Alhassan
, but only when I can be assured that the proposal will be accepted from her heart.”

Alhassan
smiled and returned to gazing at Yoff’s beach.

The morning sunrays
reflected gently on the white crests of the waves that came dying at their feet on Yoff’s beach.

Alhassan
took Talya’s hand and turned to her.  “As Allah is my witness”—he looked into her eyes—“I…, I have loved you so deeply, Talya.”

She bent her head. His fingers tightened around hers. “I know,
Alh
assan, and nothing I can say could undo the past or what I felt for you. But now
—
” Suddenly, Talya heard the hiss of a shot.
Alhassan
straightened up in a last tremor of life, and then fell to his side and into her lap.

“
Alh
assan!
Alh
assan!
” Talya hollered in horror, putting her hand on the ugly red patch marring the white of his shirt, as if she wanted to hide the bullet hole from sight.

Samir was beside them in an instant. He crouched at their backs, blocking the sniper’s aim.

“No!
Please,
Alh
assan
…,” Talya wailed, drawing him into her embrace. “Don’t leave me now…, please, NO!” Samir pulled her away. “
Alh
assan, no, don’t leave….
”

Then they heard another shot. The bullet missed them and hit the sand.

Samir lifted and dragged her, still screaming, toward the rocky overhang. Talya hid her face in
his
chest while they huddled for cover against the rocks.

She looked at her bloodied hand and put it to her face.  “
Oh God, please help us!
”

About the Author

Claire Romance was a teenager when her
father, a physician, decided to go and cure the ills of
Africa
. Through a tireless dedication to his work, he unwittingly showed his daughter what a young girl should never see.  The misery and the pain of fighting for mere survival were staring her in the face, around her, every day. She saw people imploring for pity and simple kindness or attention to their never-ending sickness. She saw humans reduced to animal-like forms by diseases and horrible living conditions. The
Dark Continent
was bleeding from the scars of colonization.  It was suffering from a long, incurable disease called ‘Progress’. 
These images remained with Claire throughout her career in the mining industry, and the stories she has written since then, she hopes, will provide her readers with the knowledge that love can emerge from the dirt of sadness to adorn the lives of those who believe that it can conquer all.

395

[1]
William Wordworth; Intimations Of Immortality, 1803-06