The Irish Duke (46 page)

If I pretended to have a nightmare and cried out, would he come running?
Lu was appalled at her thoughts, not because they were devious but because she would be surrendering and subduing her will to his. Her mind played over his reply to her accusation:
If that’s what you think—if that’s what you truly think of me, we can never be husband and wife.

“He said those words to me before. When was it?” It came to her immediately.
It was when I accused him of a sexual encounter with Georgy. That proved to be a false allegation. Is it possible I’m wrongly accusing him again?

Lu thumped her pillow and turned over.
That’s just wishful thinking. Don’t be so bloody naive! Kitty Kelly admitted that James was the father.

She didn’t fall asleep until early in the morning. When she began to dream, a smile curved her lips because she was in bed with her husband:
He kissed her for a full hour, starting at her temples, kissing her eyelids, then trailing his lips down the curve of her neck. His lavish attentions made her feel both beautiful and desirable. She clung to him sweetly, inhaling his male scent. When his lips brushed against her ear, she shivered with pleasure.

I love you, Lu.
His intimate whisper awakened her. She sat up in bed and realized it was only a dream. His phantom kisses had aroused her. She lay back down and her body ached for him. When dawn crept through the window, she relived the mornings when he had swept into her chamber and pulled off her covers.
Damn you to hellfire, Abercorn! I want everything to be the way it was before . . .

Louisa got out of bed and went to the window. After last night’s rain she was glad to see the sun.
At this early hour, the foxes are probably playing on the lawn, but I can only see them from the master bedchamber.
She chalked up another black mark against him.

She heard the adjoining door opening and braced herself. Her shoulders slumped when she saw it was Molly bringing her breakfast. “I thought it was Abercorn.”

“Lord Abercorn is up and about already, my lady.”

Lu lowered her voice. “He’s not in the next room?”

Molly shook her head.

“Wonderful! I can make my escape.” She opened the wardrobe to get her dress.

“You can’t escape, my lady. I would be sent away in disgrace for ignoring Lord Abercorn’s orders.”

“What orders, pray?”

“I am to see to your needs, but under no circumstances must you leave your boudoir until . . .”

“Until what?” Lu demanded.

“I don’t like to say, my lady.” Molly looked pained beyond bearing.

“I order you to tell me what he said.”

“He said . . .
until you come to your senses and beg his pardon.”

“Beg? Beg? I’m not in the habit of begging
men
for anything, especially not men who sow their
bastards
about the country.”

Molly gasped at her accusation. She quickly changed the subject. “You didn’t eat your supper, my lady.”

“I refuse to eat until I am freed from my prison!”

Molly bobbed a curtsy, set down the breakfast tray, and took away her dinner tray.

The bacon smelled delicious. Lu thought of the dinner she had left untouched.
That was an exercise in futility. The Irish devil won’t even know I’m starving on principle.
She abstained as long as she could; then she lifted the covers and devoured the lot.

Louisa decided that while James was out, she would go into the other room and get some of her clothes from the wardrobe. When she turned the knob on the adjoining door and found it locked, she was outraged.
Molly locked me in!

She began to pace her boudoir to rid herself of her choler. She stopped at the window and looked down into the courtyard. She was shocked to see James and Kitty in deep conversation walking toward the stables. She felt a stab of jealousy. “Where the devil is he taking her?”

She stood staring after them until they disappeared. “Lying swine. You told me you loved me. How can you do this to me?” Slowly, it came to her that the only time James had told her he loved her was in her dreams. She searched her memory and could not recall him vowing his love. Her heart sank. She began to turn from the window and saw Kitty Kelly. She was returning to the house without James. Kitty turned and waved, and Lu realized that James must be riding out somewhere alone.

She got a letter opener from her writing desk and tried to pick her boudoir door lock. She realized it wasn’t going to work and moved across the room to try the lock on the door that adjoined their bedchambers. She concentrated hard, trying over and over, but her endeavors were unsuccessful. She threw herself down into a chair feeling thwarted and frustrated. She cursed her husband for being the author of all her misery. On such a lovely sunny day, she wished she could be swimming in the lakes. Instead, she was locked up with absolutely nothing to occupy her, save her thoughts.

Her memory flew back to the day James had rowed her up the three lakes and back again.
It was such a perfect day.
Her memories moved on to the day he had taught her to swim, and how patient he had been with her.
I put my full trust in him . . . that’s why I learned so quickly.

When I let him make love to me, it was a huge leap of trust for me. How can he accuse me of not trusting him?
The answer came back immediately.
Because you accused him of fathering Kitty’s baby
.
She said that James was the father, yet he was a picture of outraged pride when I threw the accusation at him. What was it he said? “Don’t concentrate on whether you can trust me, Louisa. Trusting yourself is the key . . .”

A phrase floated to her from her girlhood Latin lessons:
Chi ama, crede . . .
Who loves, trusts . . . “James was telling me that if I loved him, I would trust him.”

Lu sat quietly, digesting her thoughts.

Louisa opened her window and made her bed. Then she poured water from her jug into one of the golden bowls that had once belonged to Josephine Beauharnais. The water was cold, but as she washed, she thought about the empress and Napoleon Bonaparte.
Were they in love? Mother told me he wrote Josephine impassioned, reproachful love letters, but I warrant he never fully trusted her.

Louisa thought she heard voices and moved to the window. She caught a glimpse of James and the eldest Herdman brother as they left the courtyard and disappeared around a corner of the house.
He’s been to the mill. The Irish devil is conducting business with never a thought for me, holed up here in my prison. I shall go mad if I am confined much longer!

Lu thought of her private journal.
I shall put the venom I am feeling down on paper so I won’t soon forget it.
She went to the wardrobe, opened an old shoebox, and took out her diary. Then she opened her jewel case and retrieved the small key.

When she opened it and read the last entry, she blushed. She had written about her feelings and emotions the morning after she and James had made love. The pages were filled with the outpouring of her heart:

Louisa was caught up in the heartfelt words she had written. The venom she was harboring melted away like snow in summer. She closed the book, locked it, and put it back in its hiding place.

Through the open window she heard a female voice and hurried across the chamber to see who it was. She saw Kitty walking through the courtyard flanked by Abercorn and Herdman. The trio was heading toward the stables.
Where the devil are they going? They must be taking her to see the mill.
Suddenly Louisa was filled with concern.
Kitty shouldn’t be riding in her condition. If it happened at Christmas, she’s almost seven months along.
Then she realized that Abercorn would take the carriage. Louisa sighed.
James didn’t even look up at my window.

To pass the time, Lu picked up an emery board. Her nails were in need of repair since she had planted her herb garden with the cuttings the tenants’ wives had sent her. As she worked on her nails, thoughts of Kitty filled her mind.
She must have been frightened to death when she discovered she was with child. Just as Georgy was. Being alone in London, unable to work, must have been extremely daunting.
Lu didn’t know whether she felt more pity for Kitty or for herself.

When the afternoon light began to fade, Lu went to the window to watch the sun go down. She heard the sound of boots and looked down. She saw James coming back from the stables, and he was alone. She hadn’t expected Herdman to return, but it seemed odd that James had not brought Kitty back to Barons Court with him. Her mind ferreted out an explanation that made sense.

“O my God. The eldest Herdman brother is called
James
!” Lu stood at the window, stunned at the revelation that had just dawned on her. “It couldn’t be,” she murmured.

“Yes, it absolutely, positively could be! When I asked Kitty if James was the father and she said yes, she wanted me to think it was my husband.”

Louisa crossed over to the mirror so she could have a serious conversation with herself. “No wonder Abercorn was offended to his very core when you accused him of being the child’s father.” She bit her lip. “Judas Iscariot, what have you done, Lady Lu?” She had done James a great injustice and felt remorse, but she searched for an excuse. “The Irish devil could have told me!” Then she realized his towering pride would prevent him from issuing denials.
James expects, nay demands, trust from his wife.

Lu raised her chin at her reflection.
He may not be guilty of fathering her child, but the Irish devil is certainly guilty of imprisoning me! If Abercorn thinks he’s going to get off scot-free, he’s in for a bloody revelation!

When she heard movements in the adjoining bedchamber, she gathered her indignation. She would go on the attack the moment he opened the door. She saw it move but was thrown off kilter when Molly came in carrying her dinner tray.

Molly set the tray down, along with some bed linen. “I brought you fresh sheets, my lady, but I see you’ve already made your bed.”

“Thank you, Molly, I’ll put them on in the morning.” Lu nodded toward the other room. “Is Abercorn in there?”

“Yes, my lady.” Molly hesitated. “His lordship sends you an invitation.”

“An invitation?”

Molly lowered her eyes. “He says . . . if you are ready to beg his pardon, he is ready to listen.”

Louisa gasped. “You may tell his lordship that I shall be ready to beg his pardon in a hundred bloody years!” She dug her fists into her hips. “Be sure to lock the door to ensure Abercorn’s safety. I’m demented; it will take me that long to regain my senses.”

Molly retreated through the adjoining door and closed it quietly.

Lu ran to the door, put her ear against it, and heard Molly say, “I’m sorry, my lord, but Lady Abercorn says . . .”

“Yes, I heard what she said, Molly. Thank you, that will be all,” Abercorn replied.

Lu pulled up a chair and thoroughly enjoyed every morsel on her dinner tray. Full as a tick, she rubbed her belly.
Ah bliss! I must remember to give my compliments to Barons Court’s cook.

 

An hour before dawn, Louisa took the sheets from her bed and took them to the window. She added the pile of fresh sheets Molly had brought. She tied them together with tight knots and secured one end to a sturdy bedpost.

Lu removed her petticoat and, clad in her busk and ruffled drawers, climbed onto the windowsill, gathered her confidence, and then began to slowly and carefully climb down the sheets.
If I don’t look down, I’ll be all right.
She knew her self-assurance was buoyed by a thirst for revenge. She was looking forward to her encounter with her husband, and she intended to give as good as she got.

Lu experienced a moment of panic when she got to the end of the sheets and found she was still ten feet from the ground. She closed her eyes, crossed her fingers, and jumped. She offered up a prayer of thanks when she landed unhurt in a flowerbed.

She was pleased as punch with herself.
Now comes the tricky part
. She knew that avoiding the servants would take ingenuity, although not many would be up this early. She entered Barons Court through a back door. It was a food storage room next to the kitchen. She picked up an apple from a basket and listened at the door. When she heard nothing but silence, she slowly and cautiously opened the door and crept up a back staircase. Then she went into the guest wing and entered one of the unoccupied suites. She stretched out on the bed and waited.

 

James opened his eyes and his first thought was the same one he’d had yesterday and the day before.
Damn, I hate waking up and not finding Lu in bed beside me. It took such a hell of long time to get her to share it with me, and before you know it, it’s separate bloody rooms again. I must be raving mad to put up with it.

He threw back the covers and swung his feet to the carpet
. Since Kitty is no longer in residence, and the bone of contention has been removed, there is no sodding reason why I should put up with it. I’ll settle this trust business once and for all—even if it means a knockdown, drag-out fight!