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Authors: Senayda Pierre

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"Where'd you put the St. Andrew's cross? Wasn't it in the main suite?" Desirae asked. The room had been cleared of any and all sex toys and furniture.

"Hidden compartment within the wall" Nicholas smirked. He loved the stunned faces when he pulled the giant wooden X from the wall.

"It's good to see you again Griffin" Sati stated. "It's been a while."

Griffin shrugged. He'd been hurt when Diego had forbidden him from coming to see Carina. Griffin felt like he wasn't considered as an equal, like Jaxon, Desirae, and the others were. But the moment he laid eyes on Carina, Griffin knew it was better that he'd stayed away. He couldn't imagine how they all reacted to the sight of Carina's battered body that night. Here it was almost two weeks later and her face was still in rough shape and she couldn't move out of the bed.

"Let's limit it to three people at a time" Nicholas suggested. Although her room was big enough to accommodate up to ten people easily he didn't want to overwhelm her. Carina's pained face still haunted him, even hours later.

Diego and Desirae strode forward without conferring with anyone else. Andrea motioned that she'd pair up with Sati leaving Jaxon and Griffin to decide. Griffin looked at his choices. He could step in the room with a volatile pair or stay behind and enter with the two beauties. His decision was simple. "I'll wait with them" Griffin motioned between Andrea and Sati. Nicholas smirked knowing why Diego's best friend opted
not to
join them.

"Fair enough" Jaxon stated. It didn't matter one way or another who accompanied him. He just wanted to see his belleza. Although Nicholas assured him that she was fine, Jaxon needed to see her breathing. He needed to see her eyes. He wanted to hear her voice.

"Mr. Wright" someone called from the doorway. Jaxon turned around and noticed the valet attendant. "You left this in the back seat. I thought you'd want it with you rather than leave it in the car unattended."

Jaxon looked down at what he held in his hand. How the hell had he forgotten that? He jogged over to the young attendant and gingerly grabbed the guitar case out of his hands. "Thank you so much" He breathed. This kid needed a fucking medal.

Nicholas handed the young man something. Jaxon turned to head into the room but not before he saw the valet attendant's eyes shine. Whatever Nicholas had given him caused the kid to almost cry. Jaxon strode into the room determined to not allow the ugly tension between Desirae and Diego to faze him. This was for Carina.

Desirae and Diego sat on each side of Carina's bed. They didn't speak to each other. Shit, they barely acknowledged one another's presence. Jaxon rolled his eyes at the scene before him. Once upon a time he thought love was fickle but now Jaxon knew better. Love was a spiteful bitch. You had to catch her on a good day to find that once-in-a-lifetime kind of love. Twice in Jaxon's life he'd thought he'd had a semblance of a chance. Twice Jaxon had been knocked on his ass. Love was a trifling wench.

Carina lay on the bed in deep sleep. Her brows creased with discomfort or pain on occasion. The steady beep of the machine was quieter in this room. It was the background music or maybe the white noise. Jaxon looked around Carina's temporary home. She could stay at the estate for as long as she needed or wanted. It would be another week and a half before the doctor would even contemplate releasing her.

Jaxon grabbed a comfortable seat and positioned himself closer. He ignored the whispers in his head wondering who'd occupied this room during their sexcapades. He placed his case carefully on the plush carpet then removed his socks and shoes, curling his toes into the luxurious flooring. He ignored Diego's warning glares as he removed the guitar. Jaxon positioned the guitar on his lap and strummed the instrument ensuring it was in tune. There was a song in his head dying to come out and he didn't care what the others thought. They could perceive the lyrics any damn way they pleased. Jaxon only knew that he wanted to do his rendition of The Script's
Breakeven
and hope Carina heard the words through her sub-consciousness.

Jaxon closed his eyes and tuned everyone else out. His fingers went into autopilot as they plucked at the strings releasing a beautiful sound into the air. He opened his mouth and sang about hearts breaking unevenly and falling to pieces. He meant every word he sang and it reflected in the tone and passion emitting from him. He reveled in the high falsetto notes never once allowing his voice to crack or waiver.

"I missed that" Carina's gruff voice snapped Jaxon's eyes open. Desirae and Diego jerked their heads towards the bed, also unaware that she'd awaken.

"I didn't mean to disturb you" Jaxon hoarsely replied. Actually he was thrilled that Carina had heard him. By the livid expression on Diego's face, Jaxon wasn't sure if he'd be permitted to sing to her anymore.

"Is the gang all here?" Carina inquired. She looked around to see some of her favorite faces in the room with her and a few more just outside the doorway.

Diego nodded his head but didn't speak. Every day that his sister interacted with them without breaking down was a blessing... but Diego wasn't sure if it was only a matter of time. Would Carina's walls eventually come crashing down?

"Are we having dinner together?" She eagerly asked. If she couldn't get out of bed, Carina prayed they'd come to her. She'd beg if it came down to it.

"I'll ask Nicholas to have the staff bring a table in here." Jaxon locked eyes with Andrea knowing she'd relay the message.

"How are you feeling?" Diego softly asked. She was finally getting some color back in her cheeks. Her bruises were slowly but surely beginning to fade. It was an arduous process but Carina was healing.

"Better now" She admitted. "I should've listened to Nicholas and taken a painkiller before leaving."

"Let me guess..." Diego drawled. "You insisted it wasn't necessary."

Carina sheepishly smiled. What was the point in denying it? If she could have a do-over she sure as hell would've gratefully accepted the pills.

"What are we doing tonight for fun?" Andrea asked from the doorway. "Séance? Charades? Spin the bottle?"

"Of course your dirty mind would go there" Carina snickered. "Trust me for the first time ever I can unequivocally say you don't want to see this." She motioned to her body.

"What does you being naked have to do with Charades?" Jaxon rebuffed. He wouldn't mind getting a peek at her goods, bruised or not.

"I suspect Andrea wanted to say Strip Poker but managed to refrain herself." Carina wryly replied. Desirae guffawed with laughter while Andrea blushed.

"Hot damn you know your friends well" Griffin smirked. He threw his arm over Andrea's shoulder trying to make her feel better. "I'll play with you" he winked. Andrea giggled; at least she had one taker.

"No orgies" Diego growled. It was enough to know and get glimpses of the shit they did but he wasn't going to partake in their sex-fests.

"Out of commission" Carina sighed. "Maybe we can play a board game or something."

"Are the guys coming tonight?" Desirae asked around. It was Friday night which meant the clubs were hopping. No one expected to see much of Nicholas for the later part of the evening.

"At some point" Carina replied. "You three" she motioned to Andrea, Griffin, and Sati. "Come in. I don't care who ordered you to do what. I'll exhaust myself talking as it is; might as well have you closer so I don't have to talk louder."

"We missed you Miss Bossy Pants" Sati blew her a kiss. Carina tried her best to smile. Her friends and brother were the best kind of medicine. No painkiller or sedative could provide her with the same sense of peace and tranquility.

A knock at the door had Andrea and Sati shuffling out of the room. Moments later several staff members brought in a custom-made wooden table that folded into itself. They carefully arranged it in Carina's room allowing ample space for her visitors and medical equipment. The group talked amongst each other as Carina dozed off again. Once she awoke again the table was set and food was delivered. Leticia and Nicholas joined them before their evening became too hectic.

"We can just watch a movie" Jaxon suggested. He didn't want everyone feeling the need to entertain each other. Diego and Desirae caused an unnecessary strain within these walls.

"Can you check the closet and see if they have that card game
Phase 10
?" Carina asked. It'd been a while since she played the game but it was good enough to allow several players to play together.

Jaxon looked into the hall closet. Nicholas had stocked the normal sex-toy filled space with a plethora of board games, card games, and activity sets. There was a game of Twister at the very bottom. Jaxon was tempted to grab it and allow Carina to be the judge but he didn't think it'd be fair. Instead he grabbed
Phase 10, Skip-Bo,
and dominoes. There were too many people to have everyone playing the same game.

"Split up into three groups" He announced, re-entering the room. Carina wouldn't be able to play dominoes but she could at least participate with the other two games. Jaxon hoped she wouldn't overdo herself but he could only trust that she would tell them when she'd had enough.

"Diego play over there" Carina motioned to the table. "I can't deal with your trifling ass right now." Diego gawked at his sister. How could she even think he'd be anything less than honorable when she wasn't 100%?!

"Carina has a point" Andrea chuckled. "You two are like Mentos and soda... Boom!"

"Mature" Diego wryly replied. He hated their knowing looks. Had it been that bad the last time at the golf course?

"Jaxon and I can play with Carina" Desirae snatched the pack of
Phase 10
cards from his hands.

"Then I choose dominoes" Diego grumbled. He didn't care who he played with. He'd beat them all.

"I'm with Diego" Griffin announced. "But if you cheat" he growled.

"Muah" Diego innocently asked. Griffin raised his brows completely unimpressed with his best friend's performance.

"Let's shake things up" Desirae stood up from her seat and grabbed a bottle of tequila from the bar in the main area. "Losers take a shot after each round."

"Fuck no" Diego snapped. "Carina doesn't need a bunch of horny, loud drunks around."

Desirae scowled at his condescending tone. "We're at the estate" she sneered. If he wanted to be an ass, so could she. "All we have to do is step out of this room and snap our fingers."

"The hell you will" Diego snarled.

"You aren't shit to me" Desirae threw a plastic cup at his head. Diego ducked just in time. Andrea and Sati stared in delighted horror at the spectacle before them.

"Guys" Carina's voice snapped them out of their spat. "How about we compromise?" She wondered if she'd ever tire of being the peacekeeper of the group. "Losers take a shot after each game? In our case it would take 10 rounds. None of our games should end quickly."

"You can't drink" Sati pointed out. There was no way anyone should permit Carina even a sip of alcohol.

"No. No" Carina assured the group. "Just kick up my dose of the good stuff and I'll be out."

"Might have to do that if she's overdoing it" Andrea muttered to Diego. He subtly nodded. Carina wasn't one to give in to fatigue if she could be doing something better than sleeping. He wasn't sure how his sister functioned sometimes. She was young but people had to sleep.

Jaxon rolled the small tray over Carina's bed. Desirae dealt the cards while Diego and Griffin made loud noises with their dominoes. Carina looked around pleased with what she saw. Although she couldn't get out of bed she felt no restlessness like before, only happy and content.

Time passed quickly. Nicholas and Leticia dropped by on occasion. Valentino and Marco checked in with her. Everyone was having a good ol' time. As hard as she fought against it, Carina lost the battle to stay awake until Valentino and Marco arrived. Her heavy lids closed. Playful banter cocooned Carina as she welcomed the darkness.

Chapter Forty-Two

Jaxon watched Carina's eyes flutter a few times before she finally gave into sleep. He texted Marco, just as they'd asked, and informed the men that she was out. The collective sighs from the group made him smile. Everyone had waited for Carina to give into her exhaustion. It was stamped across her face. Her responses were sluggish but she continued to insist that she was fine. No she fucking wasn't but no one was going to say it to her face.

Jaxon slumped back in his seat just watching Carina's peaceful face. Each day, each week, that passed helped to diminish proof from the attack. Jaxon wasn't kidding himself. The moment Carina fell into a non-sedative sleep would be the test. Would she have nightmares? Would she be unaffected?

"Games over and the baby's asleep," Desirae playfully announced. Nicholas and Leticia entered making Jaxon wonder if she'd timed her announcement for their return. "How about a little game of
truth or dare
? We can incorporate spin the bottle or stripping into the dares."

Andrea giggled pleased with the idea. Diego raised his brows wondering where the hell Desirae was going with this. He was grateful that at least she'd waited until Carina had fallen asleep before trying this shit.

"Can we suggest dares to whoever it is?" Griffin asked. He had a few ideas for the misfits. Payback was a bitch!

"I like that idea." Desirae tilted her head thoughtfully. It'd keep everyone interested in the game.

"Let's go ahead and put taboos out there as of now" Leticia amended. She looked at this group and knew she wasn't a good candidate to play with them. They were too hard core sometimes and she suspected tonight could end up like that.

"Like what" Desirae haughtily inquired. She didn't see what would appall them so much that they needed to ban it from the game.

"How 'bout we start with no sex" Diego deadpanned. "That includes oral, hands, fingers, and orifices."

"Well that sucks" Desirae grumbled.

"Nope" Griffin chirped. "Diego said that was out too."

Jaxon laughed while Desirae glared daggers at them. "Anything else" she demanded. They were going to ruin the game before it even started. "Naked and kissing counts!"

"No kissing genitals" Diego clarified. He needed to reiterate it 50 different ways to ensure no loop holes.

"We get the fucking point" Desirae growled. The only reason she conceded so easily was because kissing certain body parts led to a whole lotta of other naughty things. Best naught to tempt each other.

"No kissing guy on guy" Jaxon added.

"But it's okay if you girls kiss each other" Griffin added.

Andrea scrunched her nose. "How fucking hypocritical is that?!" She scoffed. "It's either or not at all: all sexes partake or they don't."

"Marco isn't here" Sati shrugged. "Who else has eager lips out of the guys?"

Jaxon and Diego rolled their eyes completely un-amused by their comments. "If we agree to this shit y'all fuckers better not make the suggestion." Jaxon threatened. It was easy to agree but then do some underhanded shit during the game.

Griffin and Diego nodded in agreement. Desirae noticed that Nicholas remained in the background not participating in the conversation. The group pulled their seats into a wide circle. They alternated guy-girl with Carina on the outside of the circle fast asleep.

"Desirae since it was your idea you're the first victim" Nicholas suggested. Desirae shrugged her indifference while Griffin rubbed his hands together.

"How are we going to ask the questions?" Leticia inquired. She didn't know how this group played.

"Yell it out" Jaxon shrugged. "But if you ask a shitty question you can't ask another one for a while."

"I like that" Griffin nodded in agreement. "And the same person can't ask all the questions."

"Truth or dare" Nicholas directed to Desirae. She smiled wickedly at him before she answered.

"Truth" she purred. Her face said
dare
but her words said otherwise. It was too early in the game to throw dares around. Desirae had to show she wasn't chicken-shit. There were 100 questions she didn't want them to ask. Some guaranteed to be asked before the end of the night. But she put her big-girl panties on and faced a smirking Nicholas.

"How old were you when you lost your virginity and to who" he asked. It was an easy question to start out the game.

Desirae winced at his words. It was
the
fucking question everyone asked. Couples in relationships taking that next step with sex; friends sharing stories during sleepovers or at some girls' get together... Desirae swallowed the bile creeping up her throat. She looked through Nicholas as she answered, "Just before my 14
th
birthday, to an older man." She ignored the shocked expressions. She looked away from Nicholas knowing the sexy fucker saw too much. "My turn right?"

"Yes" Sati softly replied. Her tone bristled Desirae's nerves. She didn't want anyone reading too much into her response and pitying her. "Truth or dare?" Desirae shot at Sati.

"Truth" Sati haughtily replied trying to bring the fun atmosphere back into the room.

"Have you been with more guys or girls?" It was a valid question. No one really understood if Sati was bisexual or preferred one sex over the other. Desirae suspected if Carina decided to swing solely for the other team, Sati would be mowing down anyone who stood in her way. Regardless the Indian beauty was smoking hot.

"Girls" Sati's husky voice made everyone shift in their seats. "They're softer and sweeter."

The questions shot off easily. Round after round people chose to answer questions or rise to the challenge of dares. Valentino and Marco crept in at some point going straight to Carina's bedside. They watched the game from the sidelines but didn't join in. It was just as fun to watch.

They all laughed when Griffin was required to give Sati a lap dance. They cheered and followed when Diego had to go to the dining hall in only Speedos to retrieve a tray filled with desserts. Sometimes they took a shot when a question was too much or a dare was too outrageous but the alcohol consumption was kept to a minimum.

"Jaxon" Diego called out. "Truth or Dare"

Jaxon looked around the room. The girls were getting more brazen with their dares and he wasn't sure if they would try some crazy shit in the next minute or two. "Truth" Jaxon barked.

The girls booed him and threw whatever they had in their hands while Griffin fell out of his chair wrapping his arms around his stomach just laughing. Jaxon glared at the girls but didn't retaliate. Their time would come.

"What's your biggest regret?" Diego asked.

"Ohhh" Andrea mocked. "Getting all philosophical on us Diego?"

"Hardly" Diego snorted.

"Nah" Griffin snickered. "He's not in full nerd mode yet." The room erupted with laughter at Diego's expense but he shrugged it off like a good sport. The entire time Jaxon had remained quiet. The moment everyone took a breather he spoke.

"My biggest regret wasn't that long ago." He began.

"You can't regret anything Pete did" Marco interjected from Carina's bedside. "We can't be held accountable for other people's actions."

"Nothing would've ever happened to Carina if I wasn't his friend to begin with" Jaxon snapped.

"And what if he would've taken interest in her anyways" Diego challenged. "Befriending him can't be a life's regret. We've all had shitty friends. We've all made shitty choices."

"Pete wasn't my answer" Jaxon quietly replied. He had everyone's attention in the room. Unbeknownst to them all, Carina had woken up to this exchange.

"Then what's your biggest regret?" Diego pressed.

Leticia reached out and held Jaxon's hand. She suspected it had something to do with his first love and losing her. There were a lot of regrets still brewing in his chest over those last few months of his senior year of high school. Leticia wasn't sure if Jaxon would discuss it with a room full of people.

"The thing I regret most is something I can't even remember" Jaxon looked between Andrea and Desirae. Aside from Carina, they were the only two people who knew what had happened that night at the sorority house. "A whiskey-induced blackout isn't like temporary amnesia. The memories don't come back bit-by-bit. Fuck..." Jaxon ran his hands through his hair. He rubbed his face trying to regain his composure before continuing. "The memories don't fucking come back at all. It's a permanent fucking black hole that always haunts me. I've seen pictures from that night. I've heard people talk about it but nothing triggers even the slightest recollection. It's my biggest regret because I don't know what I did or said that night. I'm not saying I want that night back as a do-over but how can I be held accountable and own my actions when it's all lost to a dark void?"

Everyone mutely stared at Jaxon. They'd all been drunk enough to pass out but bits and pieces of their previous nights always came back to them. Jaxon's blackout had been one monumental fuck up. Carina had gone looking for him that night to clear the air. What she'd found was Jaxon's hands all over some girl's body. Words were exchanged and Carina walked away knowing it was over. Jaxon had sex with every girl from the sorority house that night. He'd woken up hung over like a mother, panicked at seeing his naked body twisted amongst other naked bodies. He didn't remember the night before but he'd woken up knowing it was the beginning of the end.

"I've already forgiven you" Carina spoke against the deafening silence. "When are you going to forgive yourself?"

Jaxon turned his grief-filled eyes to her. He couldn't look at her battered face and broken body without feeling the constricting vise-like grip against his heart. "I'm trying" Jaxon confessed. "I just..." He blinked back the tears not giving a fuck what the others in the room thought about his emotional spiel. He was glad Carina heard it all.

"Come here" She moved her good arm open welcoming him to her bedside. Valentino moved to the other side and sat next to Marco. Jaxon squeezed Leticia's hand once before walking over to Carina. A part of him wanted to reassure Leticia that she was the girl in his life but he needed to be okay with Carina. They were cut from the same cloth. They held a bond like no other.

"That's a weight you just lifted off your shoulders" Carina whispered. Jaxon carefully held her, bending over her delicate frame, making as much and as little contact as possible. "I'll gladly help you carry the burden until you're ready to completely let it go. Sometimes shit happens Jax. Our paths divided that night but eventually we found our way back to each other. We're in a better place now; you have to admit that. We're with different people but we're also not the same individuals. You and me - we've walked that broken road. Now it's up to us to decide what path we want to take."

"Wherever," Jaxon nuzzled Carina's neck loving the contact and her scent. It made him feel safe and loved; no one else on this God-given planet made him feel the way Carina did. "Whenever..." He whispered into her shoulder. The contact wasn't sexual. It was extremely comforting to be in her arms. "As long as you're there..."

"Always" She whispered into his hair. Jaxon was a mighty force to most but he allowed himself to be vulnerable with Carina. She may never love him the way she loved Valentino and Marco but Jaxon felt safe entrusting his heart and emotions to her. He finally understood what she'd been trying to tell him all along. What they had wasn't a one-sided love affair; Carina loved Jaxon but in a way that was completely unique.

They'd had sex before and the attraction and chemistry was still there; it probably always would be. They'd been through highs and lows but had gotten through it all. They made the best of friends but not the best of lovers. Jaxon squeezed Carina tightly before letting her go. She wouldn't have his kids one day. He wouldn't be waiting at the altar for her as she walked down the aisle. But he knew he'd always have her in his life. He would always have her love and support. And they would always have a relationship that compared to no one else's.

"Okay" Diego called from the circle. "I think you've fondled my sister enough!"

Jaxon pulled away smiling brightly at Carina. His eyes shined with tears but none escaped. Carina wasn't sure if they were tears of happiness or tears of sadness but she sensed he was finally at peace with something. She hoped he'd finally forgiven himself for everything relating to her but she knew it'd take time.

"Since you're awake Carina" Nicholas strode over to her bedside. "Can we discuss Thanksgiving?"

The group turned towards her bed. Carina looked at all the familiar faces. She didn't want anyone changing their plans to accommodate her. She may be stuck at the estate but the others didn't have to be. She swallowed the growing lump in her throat. Uncertainties weighed heavily on her as she looked from Desirae to Diego. They were supposed to be going home in a matter of days but there was no way Carina could do that. Had Diego called their parents and told them of her situation? Had they seen the pictures on the internet? This was the year Desirae was supposed to go home with her and celebrate Thanksgiving with the Lobos family. Anger and anguish flowed through her veins. She hated how Pete had royally fucked everything. Just the thought of him made her want to get out of bed and claw his eyes out.

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