The Island of Dr. Libris (17 page)

“Walter won’t be able to breathe,” said Billy. “Not without his asthma medicine.”

“We ought to give him a proper funeral,” said Tom. “We could have Pollyanner read us a prayer. A good, generous one.”

“I know all sorts of good funeral things to say,” Pollyanna replied. “Of course, it’s awfully hard to play the glad game when someone dies.”

Billy slumped down on a log beside Maid Marian. “I never should’ve dragged Walter into this mess.”

Marian placed a gentle hand on Billy’s knee. “Aye, but thou didst. Wilt thou now abandon him to the loathsome lizard?”

Billy shook his head. “No. Of course not.”

Billy wasn’t going to do to Walter what his father was about to do to Billy.

But how could he defeat the Space Lizard? Even Hercules wasn’t strong enough to battle a monster with so many powerful weapons.

“Ho, lads and lassies!” said Robin Hood. “All is not lost! Look you, Sir William—I remember a time when Sir Guy of Gisbourne held me captive in his tower. Did my band of merry followers let a moat or castle walls stand in their way?”

“Nay!” said Marian. “Little John and I didst lead the charge. Oh, how the arrows did fly that day!”

“I’m not Little John,” Billy said quietly. “Or you, Maid Marian. I’m not a hero.” He looked down at the inhaler. “I’m just a kid who can’t even save his own family.”

“Nonsense,” said Maid Marian. “Each of us can choose who or what we shall be. We write our own stories, Sir William. We write them each and every day.”

“And,” added Hercules, “if you write it boldly enough, others will write about you, too.”

Billy stood up. “Where did the Space Lizard take Walter?”

“To his rocket ship,” said Tom. “It’s parked in the same spot where we had us that Sunday school picnic.”

Billy bent down to scoop up the red asthma inhaler. “He needs this.”

“By jingo,” said Tom, “we might could fling it to him.”

“I’m sure Walter would be glad to have it,” added Pollyanna.

“Aye!” said Robin Hood. “We could affix it to an
arrow and send it sailing through the porthole of his pointy-tipped dungeon.”

“Um,” said Billy. “What if you missed?”

“Miss? Ah-ha-ha-ha!”

Billy crept through the underbrush with Robin Hood, Maid Marian, Hercules, and Tom Sawyer.

Pollyanna had to go home, because her Aunt Polly was “ever so worried” about her.

Soon they were in the meadow. Billy could make out the silhouette of the Space Lizard’s Galaxy Blaster—an old-fashioned-looking rocket ship shaped like a football propped on a four-legged stand. Yellow light glowed from the single round window in the center of the craft.

“Looky there,” said Tom. “That window’s cracked open a mite but there ain’t nary a three-inch gap betwixt its rim and the sides of the ship.”

“Ha!” laughed Robin. “Three inches is more than I require. Make haste. Prepareth the projectile.”

Tom quickly lashed the asthma inhaler to the shaft of Robin Hood’s arrow with some twine he kept balled up in the back pocket of his blue jeans.

Robin nocked the arrow. After adjusting his aim, he let go of the string. The arrow sliced through the air and slipped through the slender crack beside the circular window. Billy heard the arrowhead
THUNK
as it hit the metal walls inside the Galaxy Blaster.

“Bull’s-eye!” said Tom.

“Huzzah!” cried Robin and Marian.

“Thanks, you guys!” shouted Walter from somewhere inside the spaceship. “I needed that.”

“Use it right away, Walter,” said Billy.

Walter’s face popped up at the porthole. “Billy? Is that you?”

“Yeah. Hey—way to go taking care of Jack and the giant.”

“It was actually pretty easy.…”

“Are you okay?”

“Well, I was until you guys started shooting arrows and shouting ‘huzzah’ and stuff. Now the Space Lizard is sort of eyeballing me.”

“Has he hurt you?”

“No. He’s too busy eating dinner. Freeze-dried scrambled bugs. It’s in a toothpaste tube like astronauts eat out of.”

“So you’re safe?”

“Yeah. But, Billy, can you go back to Dr. Libris’s study and find a book to bust me out of here? Maybe something where somebody escapes from a prison?”

“Sssilenccce!” hissed a hideous voice.

Walter stepped away from the round window just as a slimy tongue slithered along its edge, sizzling the rubber seal with bubbling acid.

“Be gone from this placccce. All of you!”

The Space Lizard’s voice sounded like sandpaper on shattered glass.

Billy stood his ground.

“Look, Mr. Lizard—if you want another shot at grabbing those golden eggs, you better not hurt my friend Walter.”

“Really? Why not?”

Billy needed to make up another story. Fast.

“Because tomorrow, if you don’t hurt him, Walter can bring it all back. He just has to read that
Jack and the Beanstalk
book out loud again. If he’s dead, he can’t do that.”

Billy didn’t really know if Walter could read the giant back to life. He only knew he needed to buy his friend more time.

“Can’t sssomeone elsssse do thisss reading?”

“Nope. Walter’s the magic reader. He reads the book, Jack comes back. The beanstalk comes back. The castle in the clouds and the goose and all the golden eggs come back, too.”

“Why can’t he do thisss for me now?”

“Because, uh, the story starts in the morning. Right, Walter?”

“Yes! It does! It says, ‘One morning Milky White’—that’s the cow—‘Milky White gave no milk.’ ”

“So Jack takes the cow to the market,” said Billy, “
in the morning.
He trades the cow for the magic beans
in the morning.
His mom flings the beans out the window
in the morning.
If you really want your golden eggs, just wait till tomorrow. In the morning!”

There was a long pause.

Finally, the Space Lizard hissed, “I ssshall do as you ssssuggessst. But if thisss boy doesss not give me my eggsss firssst thing tomorrow—”

“Don’t worry,” said Billy. “He will. Walter’s very talented.”

“Um, Billy?” peeped Walter.

“Yeah?”

“Slight problem.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Well, I don’t know if anybody told you about the acid bath Mr. Lizard spewed all over the place when he kidnapped me, but some of it splashed on the
Jack
book. Burnt a big hole straight through the cover and all the pages.”

“So you need another copy?”

“Yeah. Dr. Libris probably has one in his bookcase.
Jack and the Beanstalk
is a classic.”

“You best run fetch it,” said Tom.

“Do not worry about Walter,” said Robin.

“We four shall stand guard here all night,” added Hercules. “I’d go into that tin can right now and clobber the beast, but …”

“He hath that brutal weapon,” said Maid Marian. “Just make certain thou returneth before dawn’s first light, Sir William. And”—she lowered her voice—“also make certain thou bringeth us a sound battle plan for defeating yon lizard.”

Billy nodded. “You’re sure you guys can keep Walter safe tonight?”

“I will lay down my life for him if any hint of true harm should come his way,” said Hercules. “It is what we heroes do.”

“Flee, Sir William!” cried Robin. “Bring us back the magic book!”

When Billy snuck back into the cabin, he could hear his dad in the living room, snoring on the couch.

He tiptoed into Dr. Libris’s study.

He scanned the bookcase and found a slim antique book titled
Jack and the Beanstalk and Other Stories.

Billy thought about taking the
Jack
book right back out to the island.

But he’d made up that whole story about everything happening “in the morning.” If he went to rescue Walter in the middle of the night, the Space Lizard might become suspicious and start spewing acid all over the place again.

Besides, while rowing home across the lake, he had come up with a real “battle plan.”

First, tomorrow Walter would conjure up Jack again and send him running off to Tom Sawyer’s cave. In search of the eggs, the Space Lizard would chase after Jack.
Hercules, Robin Hood, and Maid Marian would protect Jack until he was safely hidden. Meanwhile, Billy would read up the sharkodile. The two monsters would battle it out on the cliff. The sharkodile would surely win. It would be just like rock, paper, scissors. A sharkodile
had
to beat a Space Lizard. While all that was going on, Billy could rescue Walter.

Billy set an alarm on his iPhone. He’d wake up an hour before sunrise and be back on the island with the two books before dawn.

He made his way up the steps to his bedroom. He knew he should get some sleep, even though he also knew he probably couldn’t. Not with Walter imprisoned by a hideous comic book beast from a video game rated “M” for “Mature” because it contained “intense violence, blood, and gore.”

“Sorry, Walter,” he mumbled aloud.

Then he sat down at the little desk under the open window, where he figured he’d find a better signal for his new iPhone. He needed to kill some time. Maybe download a new game.

Or read a comic book.

One where the Space Lizard lost to the good guys.

Billy fired up his favorite comics reader app and found an issue titled
The Space Lizard Meets His Match.

How’d they do it?
Billy wondered.
How’d they defeat the Space Lizard?

If the comic had a better idea, Billy would borrow it.

Finally, on the second-to-last page of panels, he found his answer.

The Space Lizard “met his match” when a lizard called the Intergalactic Gecko Girl slithered past his rocket ship. The two of them fell in love, got married, and rocketed off to “boldly destroy” new planets and civilizations together for the rest of their lives.

It was totally lame.

Billy flopped onto his bed and stared at the ceiling.

There was one knot in the pine planks that sort of looked like an angry ogre’s face.

Or maybe a witch with bumpy warts.

Then again, it could be Abraham Lincoln.

He must’ve dozed off, because he woke up with a jolt when something tapped against the outside wall.

Billy ignored it. He needed to sleep. If he was going back to face the Space Lizard in the morning, he needed to be rested and ready to rumble. He tried to fluff up his lumpy pillow.

A couple of seconds later, he heard another
clunk.

Then a pebble flew through the open window and into the room.

“Whoops, sorry,” he heard a familiar voice whisper down in the yard. “I’m still not very good at chucking rocks.”

Billy went to the window. “Walter?”

Walter was waving up at him.

“Awesome escape plan, Billy!”

“What?”

“Okay, I’m in the rocket ship. You pretend like you’re heading home to grab a fresh copy of
Jack and the Beanstalk
and—
BOOM!
Less than an hour later, the Space Lizard gets this crazy, googly-eyed look on his face. He shouts, ‘I love you, Gecko Girl!’ Then he shoves open the hatch, leaps down to the ground, and grabs this even uglier lizard’s hand. They started making goo-goo eyes at each other, which, by the way, is an extremely gross thing to see lizards do, because their eyeballs are so huge on the sides of their heads. Anyway, while they were doing all that, I ran away.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope. You’re a genius.”

“Hang on,” Billy said. “I’m coming down.”

He dashed down the stairs and out into the yard, gently shutting the back door so he wouldn’t wake his dad.

“My hero!” said Walter, slapping him a high five. “You’ve still got it, Billy!”

“But I’m telling you, I didn’t do anything.”

“You didn’t read up a girlfriend for the Space Lizard?”

“Not on purpose. I mean, I read a stupid comic book on my iPhone where that kind of happened, but …”

“Nice! You’re so good you’ve gone digital! Hey, do you guys have any potato chips or marshmallows left over from your cookout? I’m starving. The Space Lizard didn’t serve me any supper. Then I had to sprint through the woods
and paddle home. By the way—I’m getting much better at canoeing now.”