The Italian Girl (30 page)

‘I understand what you’re saying. After all, I had ten years of training before I made my debut,’ Rosanna mused. ‘It can be frustrating, but it’s worth all the hard work in the end, I think.’

‘Well, it certainly seems to have paid off with you. You look so happy,
piccolina
.’

‘I am. I too feel I have found my destiny.’

‘With your career?’

‘Of course. But more importantly, with Roberto.’

Luca steeled himself to make no comment. If Rosanna was happy – and she seemed to be – then so was he.
Whatever
he felt about Roberto.

‘Ever since that first night when Roberto sang in our café, I knew deep down I loved him. It’s odd, because I remember he only had eyes for Carlotta then. I felt very jealous, even though I was only eleven. You know, that night I wrote in my diary that I would one day marry him.’

Luca swallowed hard, digging his nails into the palm of his hand to stop himself from reacting.

‘Speaking of Carlotta, how is she?’ Rosanna asked.

‘She is . . . okay.’

‘I’ve written her a letter. I have something I want to tell her.’

‘What is that?’

‘Some news I heard recently. She’s the only one who will truly know how I feel.’

‘How do you feel?’

‘Well, at first I was very shocked. It was such a surprise. I mean . . . I had no idea, but now I’ve got used to it, I know that it was meant to happen.’

‘
What
was?’

Rosanna saw the confusion on his face and smiled delightedly. ‘Oh Luca, I’m going to be a mamma. My baby is due in November and that’s why I’ve written to Carlotta, to tell her she’s going to be an aunt and to get some advice on being pregnant. I was thinking she might be able to come to London for a holiday. Roberto has to go to New York for a month and I’ll be alone. There, what do you think? You will be an uncle. And I would like you to be godfather too,’ she added.

As Luca paused just a second too long, she frowned.

‘You are happy for me, aren’t you?’

‘Of course I am. It’s wonderful news.’

‘Are you sure you’re pleased? You don’t look it.’

‘I’m sorry.’ Luca managed a small smile. ‘It’s just the thought of my little sister being a mamma, that’s all. It’s a big thing.’

‘I’m twenty-four, Luca. Old enough, I think.’

‘And Roberto? Is he pleased?’

‘I’ve never seen him happier. I thought he might be angry because the baby wasn’t planned, but no – he was more excited than I was. He cannot believe he’ll become a papa for the first time at forty-one.’

‘And does Roberto make you a good husband?’

‘Luca, I could not have asked for anyone to love me better. I know everyone disapproved when we married, but he’s a changed man. I thank God each day that I’ve found him. And now the baby too. We’re blessed, Luca, so blessed.’

‘But you say he has to go to New York in the last month of your pregnancy?’

‘Yes. It’s sad but it can’t be helped. That’s why I was thinking Carlotta could come and be with me. I haven’t seen her for so long. She would know what to do if the baby comes.’

Luca chose his words carefully. ‘I cannot speak for Carlotta, but I think it would be difficult for her. She has Ella and Papa to care for, and the café to run.’

‘Of course, but she should have a break sometimes. Is she happy, do you think?’

‘I believe she has accepted her lot.’

Rosanna stared into the distance. ‘When I was young, she was so vibrant, so beautiful. And then, when she married Giulio and Ella was born, she changed. I hope that it won’t be the same for me.’

‘Sometimes, things happen that change us in ways we least expect,
piccolina
. Look at you meeting Roberto.’

‘You think he’s changed me?’

‘Well, your
life
has certainly changed. You haven’t been back to Italy for a long time. Is there any reason for that?’

‘I . . . yes . . . it’s just that Roberto cannot . . .’ Rosanna shook her head. ‘It’s a long story. I had to be with Roberto, wherever he was. That’s why I didn’t return to La Scala to sing Mimi in
La Bohème
. I still feel terrible about letting Paolo down but I didn’t feel as though I had a choice.’

‘Then I’m right. Marrying Roberto
has
changed you. It’s maybe not my place to say so, but be careful you don’t cut everyone else out of your life, Rosanna. Your family still love you and I know Papa is hurt that you and Roberto haven’t visited him since you married. He’s not getting any younger, you know.’

‘I know, Luca,’ Rosanna sighed. ‘I miss the family too, but apart from anything else, our schedule has been so tight. There are so many people I’m always meaning to write to or try to visit. But when
La Bohème
finishes at the end of July, I’ll at last have time to catch up. And maybe when the baby is born, I’ll fly over and visit Papa and Carlotta. Now, you must be hungry.’

Anxious to change the subject, Rosanna stood up and went over to the fridge. She retrieved some cold meats, pâté and a salad she’d prepared earlier. Luca watched her as she set the table and deftly sliced a loaf of bread. He knew his sister too well to try to press her any further on the topic of Roberto.

‘Do you ever hear from Abi?’ he asked as she sat down again opposite him.

‘It’s funny you should ask, as I got a postcard from her this morning,’ she replied, offering him the salad bowl. ‘Apparently she’s travelling in Australia at the moment, then intends to visit the Far East. But she said she’ll be in London in the autumn. To be truthful, I’ve not tried as hard as I could have to keep in touch. Abi had a brief affair with Roberto, you see. It was hard for me and I think we both needed time for the dust to settle. Maybe we can see each other when she’s back in London.’

Luca hid a stab of pain at the thought that Abi too had apparently succumbed to Roberto Rossini’s charms. ‘That would be good for you. It’s nice to keep in touch with old friends. You and Abi were very close.’ He spread some pâté on his bread.

‘Do
you
ever hear from her, Luca?’

Luca’s eyes softened as he shook his head. ‘No. I cared for her, very much.’

‘But you cared for God more?’

‘He’s my priority, Rosanna, just as now Roberto is yours.’

‘Do you ever get lonely in the seminary?’

‘What do you mean?’ he asked her.

‘Well, you’re unable to share your life with anyone.’

‘Rosanna, I have God, and He is all I need. There are many different types of love, you know. And as yours is for Roberto, so mine is for Him. Now, tell me of all the places you have visited since you began your travels.’

The following day, Rosanna took Luca sightseeing in London and in the evening they went to the Royal Opera House to see a production of
Aida
.

‘If only it was you on that stage, Rosanna. It’s so sad that I have never seen you sing since you were at school in Milan,’ Luca lamented as they took a taxi back to Kensington.

‘In a few weeks’ time, it
will
be me. But I enjoyed watching the performance and then picking that poor soprano to pieces afterwards,’ Rosanna giggled.

On Sunday they attended Mass at Westminster Cathedral, then Rosanna cooked roast beef. They took a walk in Kensington Gardens and returned home, tired but relaxed.

‘Are you okay,
piccolina
?’ asked Luca as he came into the sitting room later that evening and saw the sadness on her face.

‘I just don’t want you to leave tomorrow, that’s all.’

‘I know. It’s been wonderful to see you. It has reminded me of all the old times in Milan. We had a lot of fun in between the hard work.’

‘We did,’ Rosanna nodded, before yawning. ‘Oh dear. I seem to get sleepy so early in the evening these days. Is that normal, do you think?’

‘Of course it is, and you must go to bed. Promise me you’ll take care of yourself when you start
La Bohème
. You have another tiny soul to think of now.’

‘I will.’ Rosanna agreed. ‘It’s such a shame that you didn’t see Roberto, but at least we’ve had time to ourselves to catch up.’

‘Yes.’ Luca privately thought that the less his and Roberto’s paths crossed, the better for everyone concerned.

Rosanna stood up and threw her arms around her brother. ‘You don’t know how much I’ve enjoyed seeing you again. Please can we try and see each other more often?’

‘We can try, but you know it’s difficult.’

‘I know. There’s always a price to pay for everything, isn’t there?’

Luca kissed her on both cheeks. ‘Remember, Rosanna, if I’m not here in person, I’m always thinking of you.’

‘Come and see your new godchild when he or she is born, won’t you?’ she said, making her way to the door.

‘Nothing could stop me doing that. Goodnight,
piccolina
. Sleep well.’

Luca sat downstairs for another hour before making his way up to bed. He leafed through a scrapbook full of newspaper and magazine cuttings that Rosanna had given him. In every photograph, Rosanna was looking up at Roberto with love shining out of her eyes.

It was obvious that the man made his sister very happy. And for that reason alone, he’d ask God to help him find forgiveness for all that Roberto had done before.

Rosanna arrived back from saying goodbye to her brother at Heathrow feeling very low. In the past four years, she’d forgotten how close she and Luca had been. Now he’d gone and she had no idea when she’d see him again.

Slowly, she climbed the steps to the front door. Then, as she searched for her key, the door was opened and she was enveloped in Roberto’s arms.

‘My darling girl,’ he said. ‘Where have you been? I was getting worried,
cara
. I arrived from Gatwick and you were gone.’

‘I went with Luca to Heathrow.’

Roberto led Rosanna inside and took her coat from her shoulders, hanging it over the banister.

‘How was your brother?’

‘Very well.’

‘Good. Come here.’ Roberto pulled her towards him and kissed her hard. ‘You don’t know how I missed you,
cara
.’

Rosanna smiled up at him, her heart lifting. This was home and Roberto was all that mattered.

27

London, October 1980

Rosanna awoke and saw it was only half past six. She crept out of bed, went to the bathroom, then made her way downstairs to the kitchen. A heavy autumnal mist was hanging outside. The leaves on the tree in the garden were turning brown and dropping one by one to the ground, a signal that summer was well and truly over. She made a cup of tea, then manoeuvred herself into a chair and laid her head down on the cool surface of the table.

At eleven o’clock, Roberto would leave for New York.

Eight weeks ago, the final night of
La Bohème
had been all the more poignant as it was the last time they would sing together for many months. Since then, they had tried to remain cheerful and enjoy the time they had together, but their imminent separation had hung over them both like a pall.

The baby gave a kick under her ribs. She sat upright and tried to rally her spirits. She would not cry when he left. She didn’t want Roberto’s last memory of her to be a bloated wreck with red, puffy eyes. Rosanna drained her teacup and waddled upstairs to shower.

An hour later Roberto arrived in the kitchen. With a sigh, he sat down at the table.

‘There’s coffee in the pot and I’ve cooked you some sausages – I know you like sau . . . sausages.’ Rosanna’s voice faltered but she managed a smile as she turned to look at him.

‘Thank you
, cara
.’

She dished out the sausages, together with some fried mushrooms and tomatoes, onto two plates and took them over to the table.

‘This looks delicious.’

‘Well, I wanted you to have a treat as airline food is always terrible. But promise me you’ll watch your weight when you get to New York. Dr Hardy said you should lose at least twelve kilos.’

‘Yes, of course.’ Roberto began to eat. ‘Now, you know that I’m staying at Chris’s apartment, so you’ll be able to reach me there. And if there’s an important message you can always call me at the Met. I’ll warn them they must find me urgently.’

‘Don’t worry,
caro
. I have told this bump it can’t make an appearance before its papa’s back home. I still have six weeks to go. Six more weeks of this,’ she sighed. ‘Am I having a baby or an elephant? Imagine how huge I’ll be when you get home. I might have exploded by then,’ she said seriously.

‘Any problems, Rosanna, call Dr Hardy immediately.’

‘Of course.’

‘I’m sure you won’t be lonely,
cara
. Lots of people from Covent Garden will pop in.’

‘I’m sure I’ll be fine.’

Neither of them finished their breakfast. In the end, Rosanna stood up and began to clear the table.

‘I’d better go and shower,’ said Roberto.

She looked at the clock as he left the kitchen. In less than an hour, he would leave her.

‘The car is here.’ Roberto shrugged on his overcoat.

Rosanna watched him as he did so, willing herself not to let the tears pour down her cheeks.

‘
Amore mio
.’ Roberto’s arms encircled her. ‘How I love you, how I miss you already. I’ll count the days until I’m back with you again.’

‘Take care of yourself, Roberto.
Ti amo, caro
.’

He nodded as he left her arms and hurried down the steps to the waiting car. He turned, blew Rosanna a kiss before climbing inside, and waved as the car pulled away from the pavement.

Then he was gone.

The first week without Roberto seemed endless, although Rosanna had a stream of visitors appearing on her doorstep. Sometimes, they provided a blessed relief from boredom. At other times, she felt so tired and low and fragile that she wished they would leave almost as soon as they’d arrived. Roberto called her three times a day, whispering words of love down the telephone line, telling her how much he missed her. For those few minutes, Rosanna was happy. Then she’d put down the receiver and weep.