The Italian Girl (40 page)

‘She is, and very beautiful too. Quite coincidentally, she has a lovely voice, just like her aunt.’ A sad smile touched Luca’s lips.

‘I’d love to hear it one day.’

‘I’m sure you will, Rosanna. Carlotta has all sorts of plans for Ella’s future. She’s obviously worried that if she dies, Papa will expect Ella to take her place and run the café.’

‘But, Luca, if she has a talent for singing, then that talent must be nurtured, surely?’

‘That is what Carlotta wishes, yes.’

‘I should go to Naples and see her. I could leave immediately with Nico.’

‘Don’t go yet, Rosanna. Leave Carlotta to have her treatment. It might make her feel she has very little time left if you suddenly appeared after so long.’

‘You make me feel so guilty, Luca,’ she murmured. ‘I would have loved to have seen more of Carlotta and Papa. I’ve missed them and Naples so much. But when I was with Roberto, returning to Italy was so . . . difficult.’

‘It’s sad he removed you from your family,’ Luca agreed.

‘Well, Carlotta and Papa could have come to visit me in England and they didn’t. Several times I offered to pay their fares,’ replied Rosanna, as usual defensive at the criticism of Roberto, even though she had left herself open to it.

‘You know Papa refuses to set foot on an aeroplane, and Carlotta . . . well, she too had her reasons for staying in Naples. Let us see how she responds to her treatment and then you can make plans.’

‘Surely, Luca, she’s too young to die?’

‘Yes, of course she is. And we must have faith that she doesn’t.’

Rosanna was silent for a few seconds. Then she said, ‘Luca, was Carlotta’s life ruined by my leaving for Milan? If I hadn’t left, she would never have had to stay at home to run the café and care for Papa.’

‘I came with you to Milan, remember? I, too, left Carlotta behind.’ Luca shook his head. ‘What can I say? It was bad timing as much as anything. Carlotta made a mistake, which meant she had to pay a high price.’

‘What mistake? Marrying Giulio?’ Rosanna persisted.

‘Yes, marrying Giulio.’ Luca decided it was time he changed the subject. ‘Now, Rosanna, I have something to ask you. Would you mind if I stayed on here a little longer than two weeks?’

‘Of course not. I’d love it.’

‘Thank you. I don’t have to return to the seminary until September. I need to do some thinking, and I believe this would be the perfect place.’

Rosanna surveyed her brother. ‘Is everything okay, Luca?’

‘Of course,
piccolina
.’ Luca rallied himself, not yet able to voice the thoughts that lay inside him until he’d had a chance to ruminate on them himself. ‘I’m a little tired from the journey, that’s all. I’m so very happy to be here and to see your beautiful son. Abi thinks he looks like me.’

‘Yes. Now I look at you, I think he does.’ Rosanna stifled a yawn. ‘I, too, am tired. Let’s leave the clearing up until the morning. Unfortunately Nico will be awake in six hours.’

They walked up the stairs hand in hand. At Rosanna’s bedroom door, Luca kissed her on both cheeks. ‘I always knew you were the most wonderful singer. Now, I see you are also the most wonderful mamma. You should be very proud of yourself. Goodnight,
piccolina
.’

‘Goodnight, Luca.’

35

Abi sat on the edge of Rosanna’s bed as her friend stepped into a short black cocktail dress. Following Luca’s revelation about Carlotta, it had taken all her powers of persuasion to convince Rosanna to still go out for the evening.

‘Could you do me up?’

‘Sure.’ Abi pulled up the zip.

‘Do I need tights?’

‘No, not with legs as brown as those.’

‘Good. Now, are you sure you’ll be okay? I’ve left the number of Stephen’s gallery on the pad by the kitchen telephone. If you’re worried about Nico, just ring and I can be home in twenty minutes.’

‘Rosanna, even I can stick a bottle in a child’s mouth and put him in his cot. Will you please stop fussing!’

‘Sorry.’ Rosanna sat down at her dressing table and began to add mascara to her eyes. ‘There’s food in the fridge for you and Luca and a bottle of wine—’

‘Shut up, Rosanna, and stop treating me as if I’m the same age as your son.’

‘Sorry,’ she repeated as she put on lipstick and brushed her hair.

‘I’ll probably just have a sandwich upstairs in my room as I work . . .’ Abi saw Rosanna’s watchful eyes. ‘And yes, I
will
take the baby monitor with me.’

‘Where’s my other shoe?’ Rosanna was now on her knees, peering under the bed. She retrieved the black sandal with a look of triumph and removed a toy car from inside it. ‘Right, I’m ready. I’ll go downstairs and say goodbye to Luca and Nico.’

‘Fine.’

Rosanna walked into the sitting room, where Nico was happily ensconced with Luca, looking at a picture book on his lap. ‘You don’t mind me going out, do you?’ she asked.

‘Not at all. It’s good that you’re going to support your friend. Nico and I will have a lovely time. We’ve got lots of books to read.’

‘Is she still at it? Dear God, anyone would think she was leaving Nico for a year.’ Abi rolled her eyes as she entered the sitting room. ‘The taxi’s just pulled up. Go, go, go!’ She shooed Rosanna out of the sitting room to the front door.

‘Bye, Luca. Bye, Nico. Bye—’

Abi closed the front door and went back into the sitting room. She stood by the door, gazing at the two dark heads on the sofa. ‘Someone has got to tell Rosanna she’s far too overprotective of that child.’

Luca glanced at her. ‘She has to be both mamma and papa to Nico, that’s why.’

‘Yes, I suppose so,’ Abi sighed. ‘Now, would you mind if I went up and did a little more work? I’ll come down in half an hour and make Nico’s bottle and put him to bed and—’

‘You go and write. I’ll put Nico to bed. I used to look after Rosanna all the time when she was small.’

‘If you’re sure . . .’

‘I am.’

An hour later Abi looked into the nursery. Nico was tucked up in his cot sleeping soundly. She made her way downstairs to the kitchen.

‘Abi, just in time.’ Luca was standing by the hob stirring the contents of a frying pan. An appetising aroma filled the air.

‘Oh, I . . . well, I was just going to grab a sandwich and go back upstairs,’ she said uncertainly.

Luca’s face fell. ‘But I’ve cooked you one of my specialities. Risotto, just as we used to eat in Milan.’

‘I . . .’

‘Please, Abi. Surely a couple of hours away from work will not harm? I’ve hardly seen you since I arrived. It would be nice to talk. Here.’ He handed her a glass of wine.

Abi’s resolve shattered. ‘Okay then,’ she said, accepting the glass. ‘As you’ve already cooked.’

‘I’ve also set the table on the terrace. Go sit down and relax. I shall serve the risotto and join you.’

A few minutes later, Luca put a steaming plate in front of her and sat down at the table opposite her.

‘This looks delicious,’ Abi commented.

‘It’s not often I get to cook these days. Please, begin. So,’ he said as he picked up his fork, ‘how is your new novel coming along?’

‘When I’m at this stage, I always think it’s rubbish. But it’ll turn out okay in the end, I’m sure.’

‘What is it about?’

‘Unrequited love.’ Despite herself, Abi blushed to the roots of her long blonde hair.

‘That’s an interesting topic,’ said Luca, throwing a searching glance in her direction.

‘Yes.’

‘And when is your first novel published?’

‘This September.’

‘I see. And writing is something that makes you happy?’

‘Very. Although it’s a terribly self-indulgent occupation, you know. You just put all your worst fears and your wildest fantasies together, stir them up and hope other people will find them interesting.’

‘I’m sure it is not that simple, but it sounds like fun. I must read your novel when it’s published.’

‘I don’t think it’s a book you’d like, to be honest, Luca,’ she said guardedly.

‘Why is that?’

‘Well, parts of it are a bit . . . fruity.’

Luca looked confused. ‘What is “fruity”?’

‘I mean, there’s quite a lot of sex in it.’ Abi blushed again.

Luca chuckled. ‘And you feel that wouldn’t be suitable reading for someone training to become a priest?’

‘No, not really.’

‘Don’t think, Abi, that because I want to be a priest that I’m not human. As a man, I have feelings just as any other. And don’t think I haven’t thought about you over the past few years. I have, often.’ He smiled, taking a forkful of risotto before continuing. ‘And now is the moment to ask if you’ll forgive me. I was weak and selfish that time in Milan. I let the feelings I had for you run away with me, when I knew deep down that nothing could come of it.’

Abi’s heart sank. Just for a second she had glimpsed some hope.

‘You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself, Luca. I should apologise too for trying to force your hand, when I ought to have respected that your life was destined for a different course. The amount of time you used to spend in that old church should have been a clue for starters.’ She tried to sound cheerful and hoped he couldn’t read her inner feelings on her face. ‘Do you mind if I smoke?’ She fumbled in her pocket for her cigarettes and a light.

‘No, not at all.’ Luca put his knife and fork neatly together on his plate.

‘So, how’s life at the seminary?’

Luca stared at her. ‘Can you keep a secret?’

‘Of course.’

‘You mustn’t tell Rosanna of this. I don’t wish anyone in my family to know.’

‘About what?’

‘I’m on a sabbatical. I’m taking time out to think about my future.’

‘You mean, you’re thinking of leaving the seminary?’ Abi’s blue eyes were wide with surprise.

‘No, I didn’t say that, but I’m having a spiritual crisis – or that’s what my bishop calls it, at least. Apparently, it happens to many young men in their last stage of training. After the euphoria of a decision and then the years of study, well, then comes the uncertainty.’

‘I see.’ Abi was listening intently.

‘I believe I was put on this earth to do God’s work. I wish to give comfort to those in trouble, those who are poor or suffering, and also to spread the word of God to people who haven’t heard it.’

‘But surely that’s what you
will
be doing when you become a priest?’

‘Yes, but . . .’ Luca sighed. ‘The church is like a club and the priests are the members. And, as in any club, there are rules that are laid down, rules that sometimes prevent you from doing things you know would be a good idea. Also, as in any organisation, even God’s, there are power struggles, people who see the church as a career and will stop at nothing to reach the top. And, of course, there is corruption.’ Luca paused then said, ‘May I have one of your cigarettes?’

‘I didn’t think you smoked anymore.’

‘Only very occasionally. I suppose seeing you reminds me of the old days,’ he said, smiling, as he took one from the packet and Abi lit it for him.

‘Well, I’m amazed by what you say. I thought the priesthood was your calling, all you wanted.’

‘It was, it
is
, in an ideal world. But this world is not ideal, because it’s made up of human beings. Like the Lord himself, we’re not perfect. Anyway, that’s why I’ve been given a little time to think, before I take the ultimate step and am ordained. You see, Abi, unlike others, I’m not interested in rising through the ranks. It would only move me further away from what I want to do. I don’t want to be fifty and sitting behind a desk in the Vatican. I want to be out in the world helping people. I’m sorry, I’m boring you.’

‘No, not at all. It’s fascinating,’ said Abi honestly.

‘Well, thank you for listening. I needed very much to talk and you’ve always had a sympathetic ear.’

‘Anytime, Luca. You know that.’

‘And what of you, Abi?’ said Luca, pouring himself another glass of wine. ‘Are you happy?’

‘I always try to make the best of things, even when they’re not perfect. The eternal optimist, that’s me,’ she shrugged.

‘And have you found someone to fall in love with?’

‘Well, I’ve had a few boyfriends and a lot of fun. But I’ve decided recently I’m not the marrying type, that love brings too much pain. Unlike you, I’m totally selfish, you see.’

‘I don’t think so at all. You’ve been a very good friend to both me and my sister.’ He leant towards her. ‘How is Rosanna, really?’

‘Very brave, very strong, a very good mother and . . .’ Abi sighed, ‘a very talented actress. Underneath it all, I’m sad to say, she’s still completely in love with that feckless husband of hers.’

‘Yes, I can believe that. I watched my sister fall in love with Roberto when she was eleven years old.’

‘There’s a fine line between love and hate. Maybe, one day,’ Abi said hopefully, ‘Rosanna will hate him.’

‘And maybe that will be as bad as loving him.’ Luca shook his head wearily. ‘Fate is a strange thing. I believe very strongly that certain things are preordained by God before we take our first breath. I knew from the outset that Roberto Rossini would be trouble for Rosanna. If there was one man in the world who I prayed many times would never come near her, it was him. I know of things he’s done, have seen things that . . .’ Luca’s voice had become fierce with emotion. ‘I’m sorry, Abi. I find it hard, loving my sister, knowing she loves Roberto and being unable to protect her from the pain of it. But that, as I said, is fate, is it not?’

‘Yes. And anyway, they haven’t spoken for over a year. Plus, you may be pleased to hear she has an admirer: Stephen, that chap she’s out with tonight. He absolutely worships Rosanna, although I’m not sure how she feels about him.’

‘That at least is good,’ agreed Luca. ‘Does she ever talk about returning to opera?’

‘Not so far, no.’

He shook his head. ‘Roberto even managed to take that from her, to separate her from her gift. A talent such as hers is so very rare and yet she no longer seems to recognise or value it.’

‘I know, I know. But one day when Nico is older, she may return. She’s still very young. And Stephen would encourage her if the two of them ever got together. He’s her biggest fan.’